THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

BEQUEST 
OF 

LOUISIANA  SCOTT  SHUMAN 


<£t>ition 


THE  WRITINGS  OF 

MARK   TWAIN 

VOLUME  XIII 


I    PRACTICED    AROUND    ALL    DAY 


They  peeped  out  from  behind  her 


THE  ADVENTURES 


OF 


HUCKLEBERRY  FINN 


(TOM  SAWYER'S  COMRADE) 


SCENE :    The  Mississippi  Valley 
TIME:    Forty  to  Fifty  Years  Ago 


.       BY 

MARK  TWAIN 

(Samuel  L.  Clemens) 


NEW  YORK  AND  LONDON 

HARPER  6-  BROTHERS   PUBLISHERS 

1904 


Copyright,  1884,  by  SAMUEL  L.  CLEMENS 


Copyright,  1896  and  1899,  by  HARPER  &  BROTHERS 
(All  rights  reserved) 


IOAN  STACK 


V  S  (305 

/h 


Hfli/J 


NOTICE 

PERSONS  attempting  to  find  a  motive  in  this  narra 
tive  will  be  prosecuted ;  persons  attempting  to  find  a 
moral  in  it  will  be  banished ;  persons  attempting  to 
find  a  plot  in  it  will  be  shot. 

BY  ORDER  OF  THE  AUTHOR, 
Per  G.  G.,  Chief  of  Ordnance. 


111 


EXPLANATORY 

IN  this  book  a  number  of  dialects  are  used,  to  wit: 
the  Missouri  negro  dialect;  the  extremest  form  of  the 
backwoods  Southwestern  dialect;  the  ordinary  "  Pike 
County"  dialect;  and  four  modified  varieties  of  this 
last.  The  shadings  have'  not  been  done  in  a  hap 
hazard  fashion,  or  by  guesswork;  but  painstakingly, 
and  with  the  trustworthy  guidance  and  support  of 
personal  familiarity  with  these  several  forms  of  speech. 

I  make  this  explanation  for  the  reason  that  without 
it  many  readers  would  suppose  that  all  these  characters 
were  trying  to  talk  alike  and  not  succeeding. 

THE  AUTHOR. 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


PHOTOGRA  VURE 


THEY  PEEPED  OUT  FROM 

BEHIND  HER  E.  W.  Kemble       .       Frontispiece 


I  PRACTICED  AROUND  ALL  DAY    E.  W.  Kemble 

ALL  FULL  OF  TEARS  AND 

FLAPDOODLE  E.  W.  Kemble       .       .        .       2l8 


CONTENTS 

CHAPTER  I. 
Civilizing  Huck  —  Miss  Watson— Tom  Sawyer  Waits 15 

CHAPTER  II. 
The  Boys  Escape  Jim— Tom  Sawyer's  Gang  —  Deep-laid  Plans  .  .  20 

CHAPTER  III. 

A  Good  Going-over  — Grace  Triumphant — "One  of  Tom  Sawyer's 

Lies" • 28 

CHAPTER  IV. 
Huck  and  the  Judge  — Superstition ,  ....  33 

CHAPTER  V. 
Huck's  Father  —  The  Fond  Parent—  Reform 38 

CHAPTER  VI. 

He  Went  for  Judge  Thatcher  —  Huck  Decides  to  Leave  —  Political 

Economy — Thrashing  Around 44 

CHAPTER  VII. 

Laying  for  Him — Locked  in  the  Cabin  —  Sinking  the  Body  —  Resting    53 
CHAPTER  VIII. 

Sleeping  in  the  Woods  —  Raising  the  Dead  —  Exploring  the  Island- 
Finding  Jim  —  Jim's  Escape  —  Signs  —  Balum     6 1 

(ix) 


x  Contents 

CHAPTER  IX. 
The  Cave  —  The  Floating  House  . 75 

CHAPTER  X. 
The  Find  —  Old  Hank  Bunker — In  Disguise So 

CHAPTER  XI. 

Huck    and    the  Woman  —  The   Search  —  Prevarication  —  Going    to 

Goshen      .     .     .     .     , 85 

CHAPTER  XII. 

Slow  Navigation  —  Borrowing  Things — Boarding  the  Wreck  —  The 

Plotters  —  Hunting  for  the  Boat 94 

CHAPTER  XIII. 
Escaping  from  the  Wreck  —  The  Watchman  —  Sinking 103 

CHAPTER  XIV. 
A  General  Good  Time  —  The  Harem  —  French no 

CHAPTER  XV. 

Huck  Loses  the  Raft— In  the  Fog  — Huck  Finds  the  Raft— Trash    116 
CHAPTER  XVI. 

Expectation  —  A  White  Lie  —  Floating  Currency  —  Running  by  Cairo 

—  Swimming  Ashore 124 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

An  Evening  Call  —  The  Farm  in  Arkansaw  —  Interior  Decorations  — 

Stephen  Dowling  Bots  —  Poetical  Effusions 135 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 

Col.  Grangerford — Aristocracy — Feuds  —  The  Testament  —  Recov 
ering  th«  Raft — The  Wood-pile  —  Pork  and  Cabbage  ...  .  .146 

CHAPTER  XIX. 

Tying  Up  Daytimes  —  An  Astronomical  Theory  —  Running  a  Tem 
perance  Revival  —  The  Duke  of  Bridgewater  —  The  Troubles  of 
Royalty 161 


Contents  xi 

CHAPTER  XX. 

Huck  Explains  —  Laying  Out  a  Campaign  —  Working  the  Camp- 
meeting  —  A  Pirate  at  the  Camp-meeting  —  The  Duke  as  a 
Printer 172 

CHAPTER  XXI. 

Sword  Exercise  —  Hamlet's  Soliloquy  —  They  Loafed  Around  Town 

—  A  Lazy  Town  — Old  Boggs  — Dead 183 

CHAPTER  XXII. 

Sherburn  —  Attending  the  Circus  —  Intoxication  in  the  Ring  —  The 

Thrilling  Tragedy ,     .  195 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 
Sold — Royal  Comparisons  —  Jim  Gets  Homesick 202 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 

Jim  in  Royal  Robes  —  They  Take  a  Passenger  —  Getting  Information 

—  Family  Grief 209 

CHAPTER  XXV. 

Is  It  Them?  —  Singing  the  "  Doxologer  "  —  Awful  Square  —  Funeral 

Orgies  —  A  Bad  Investment 217 

CHAPTER  XXVI. 

A  Pious  King  —  The  King's  Clergy  —  She  Asked  His  Pardon  — Hid 
ing  in  the  Room  —  Huck  Takes  the  Money 226 

CHAPTER  XXVII. 

The   Funeral  —  Satisfying  Curiosity  —  Suspicious    of    Huck  —  Quick 

Sales  and  Small  Profits 236 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

The  Trip  to  England  — "The  Brute!"  — Mary  Jane  Decides  to 
Leave — Huck  Parting  with  Mary  Jane  —  Mumps  —  The  Oppo 
sition  Line 244 


xii  Contents 

CHAPTER  XXIX. 

Contested  Relationship  —  The  King  Explains  the  Loss  —  A  Question 

of  Handwriting  —  Digging  up  the  Corpse  —  Huck  Escapes     .     .  256 

CHAPTER  XXX. 
The  King  Went  for  Him— A  Royal  Row—  Powerful  Mellow  .     .     .268 

CHAPTER  XXXI. 

Ominous   Plans  —  News    from    Jim  —  Old   Recollections  —  A  Sheep 

Story  —  Valuable  Information 273 

CHAPTER  XXXII. 
Still  and  Sunday-like  —  Mistaken    Identity  — Up  a    Stump  — In  a 

Dilemma 284 

CHAPTER  XXXIII. 
A  Nigger  Stealer  —  Southern  Hospitality  —  A  Pretty  Long  Blessing 

—Tar  and  Feathers 292 

CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

The  Hut  by  the  Ash-hopper  —  Outrageous — Climbing  the  Light 
ning-rod— Troubled  with  Witches  301 

CHAPTER  XXXV. 

Escaping  Properly  —  Dark  Schemes  —  Discrimination  in  Stealing  — 
A  Deep  Hole 30% 

CHAPTER  XXXVI. 
The  Lightning-rod — His  Level  Best  —  A  Bequest  to  Posterity  —  A 

High  Figure 3'7 

CHAPTER  XXXVII. 
The  Last  Shirt  —  Mooning  Around  —  Sailing  Orders— The  Witch  Pie  324 

CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

The  Coat  of  Arms  —  A  Skilled  Superintendent  —  Unpleasant  Glory 

—  A  Tearful  Subject 332 


Contents  xiii 

CHAPTER  XXXIX. 
Rats — Lively  Bedfellows — The  Straw  Dummy 340 

CHAPTER  XL. 

Fishing  —  The  Vigilance  Committee  —  A  Lively  Run — Jim  Advises 

a  Doctor 347 

CHAPTER  XLI. 
The  Doctor  — Uncle  Silas—  Sister  Hotchldss  —  Aunt  Sally  in  Trouble  355 

CHAPTER  XLII. 

Tom   Sawyer  Wounded  —  The   Doctor's    Story  —  Tom  Confesses  — 

Aunt  Polly  Arrives  —  Hand  Out  Them  Letters 363 

CHAPTER  THE  LAST 
Out  of  Bondage  —  Paying  the  Captive  —  Yours  Truly,  Huck  Finn  .     .373 


HUCKLEBERRY   FINN 


CHAPTER   I. 

YOU  don't  know  about  me  without  you  have  read  a 
book  by  the  name  of  The  Adventures  of  Tom 
Sawyer ;  but  that  ain't  no  matter.  That  book  was 
made  by  Mr.  Mark  Twain,  and  he  told  the  truth, 
mainly.  There  was  things  which  he  stretched,  but 
mainly  he  told  the  truth.  That  is  nothing.  I  never 
seen  anybody  but  lied  one  time  or  another,  without  it 
was  Aunt  Polly,  or  the  widow,  or  maybe  Mary.  Aunt 
Polly  —  Tom's  Aunt  Polly,  she  is  —  and  Mary,  and 
the  Widow  DdUgIas~js  all  told  about  ~in  that  book, 
whidrt5"mos"tly"a ""true  book,  with  some  stretchers,  as 
I  said  before. 

Now  the  way  that  the  book  winds  up  is  this :  Tom 
and  me  found  the  money  that  the  robbers  hid  in  the 
cave,  and  it  made  us  rich.  We  got  six  thousand  dollars 
apiece  —  all  gold.  It  was  an  awful  sight  of  money 
when  it  was  piled  up.  Well,  Judge  Thatcher  he  took 
it  and  put  it  out  at  interest,  and  it  fetched  us  a  dollar 
a  day  apiece  all  the  year  round  —  more  than  a  body 
could  tell  what  to  do  with.  The  Widow  Douglas  she 
took  me  for  her  son,  and  allowed  she  would  sivilize 
me ;  but  it  was  rough  living  in  the  house  all  the  time, 
considering  how  dismal  regular  and  decent  the  widow 
was  in  all  her  ways;  and  so  when  I  couldn't  stand  it 
no  longer  I  lit  out.  I  got  into  my  old  rags  and  my 
sugar-hogshead  again,  and  was  free  and  satisfied.  But 
Tom  Sawyer  he  hunted  me  up  and  said  he  was  going 

(15) 


16  Huckleberry  Finn 

to  start  a  band  of  robbers,  and  I  might  join  if  I  would 
go  back  to  the  widow  and  be  respectable.  So  I  went 
back. 

The  widow  she  cried  over  me,  and  called  me  a  poor 
lost  lamb,  and  she  called  me  a  lot  of  other  names, 
too,  but  she  never  meant  no  harm  by  it.  She  put  me 
in  them  new  clothes  again,  and  I  couldn't  do  nothing 
but  sweat  and  sweat,  and  feel  all  cramped  up.  Well, 
then,  the  old  thing  commenced  again.  The  widow 
rung  a  bell  for  supper,  and  you  had  to  come  to  time. 
When  you  got  to  the  table  you  couldn't  go  right  to 
eating,  but  you  had  to  wait  for  the  widow  to  tuck 
down  her  head  and  grumble  a  little  over  the  victuals, 
though  there  warn't  really  anything  the  matter  with 
them, —  that  is,  nothing  only  everything  was  cooked 
by  itself.  In  a  barrel  of  odds  and  ends  it  is  different ; 
things  get  mixed  up,  and  the  juice  kind  of  swaps 
around,  and  the  things  go  better. 

After  supper  she  got  out  her  book  and  learned  me 
about  Moses  and  the  Bulrushers,  and  I  was  in  a  sweat 
to  find  out  all  about  him ;  but  by  and  by  she  let  it  out 
that  Moses  had  been  dead  a  considerable  long  time ;  so 
then  I  didn't  care  no  more  about  him,  because  I  don't 
take  no  stock  in  dead  people. 

Pretty  soon  I  wanted  to  smoke,  and  asked  the  widow 
to  let  me.  But  she  wouldn't.  She  said  it  was  a  mean 
practice  and  wasn't  clean,  and  I  must  try  to  not  do  it 
any  more.  That  is  just  the  way  with  some  people. 
They  get  down  on  a  thing  when  they  don't  know 
nothing  about  it.  Here  she  was  a-bothering  about 
Moses,  which  was  no  kin  to  her,  and  no  use  to  any 
body,  being  gone,  you  see,  yet  finding  a  power  of 
fault  with  me  for  doing  a  thing  that  had  some  good  in 
it.  And  she  took  snuff,  too ;  of  course  that  was  all 
right,  because  she  dene  it  herself. 

Her  sister,  Miss  Watson,  a  tolerable  slim  old  maid, 


Huckleberry  Finn  17 

with  goggles  on,  had  just  come  to  live  with  her,  and 
took  a  set  at  me  now  with  a  spelling-book.  She 
worked  me  middling  hard  for  about  an  hour,  and  then 
the  widow  made  her  ease  up.  I  couldn't  stood  it 
much  longer.  Then  for  an  hour  it  was  deadly  dull, 
and  I  was  fidgety.  Miss  Watson  would  say,  "Don't 
put  your  feet  up  there,  Huckleberry;"  and  "Don't 
scrunch  up  like  that,  Huckleberry  —  set  up  straight;" 
and  pretty  soon  she  would  say,  **  Don't  gap  and  stretch 
like  that,  Huckleberry  —  why  don't  you  try  to  be 
have?"  Then  she  told  me  all  about  the  bad  place, 
and- 1  said  I  wished  I  was  there.  She  got  mad  then, 
but  I  didn't  mean  no  harm.  All  I  wanted  was  to  go 
somewheres;  all  I  wanted  was  a  change,  I  warn't 
particular.  She  said  it  was  wicked  to  say  what  I  said ; 
said  she  wouldn't  say  it  for  the  whole  world;  she  was 
going  to  live  so  as  to  go  to  the  good  place.  Well,  I 
couldn't  see  no  advantage  in  going  where  she  was 
going,  so  I  made  up  my  mind  I  wouldn't  try  for  it. 
But  I  never  said  so,  because  it  would  only  make 
trouble,  and  wouldn't  do  no  good. 

Now  she  had  got  a  start,  and  she  went  on  and  told 
me  all  about  the  good  place.  She  said  all  a  body 
would  have  to  do  there  was  to  go  around  all  day  long 
with  a  harp  and  sing,  forever  and  ever.  So  I  didn't 
think  much  of  it.  But  I  never  said  so.  I  asked  her  if 
she  reckoned  Tom  Sawyer  would  go  there,  and  she 
said  not  by  a  considerable  sight.  I  was  glad  about 
that,  because  I  wanted  him  and  me  to  be  together. 

Miss  Wratson  she  kept  pecking  at  me,  and  it  got 
tiresome  and  lonesome.  By  and  by  they  fetched  the 
niggers  in  and  had  prayers,  and  then  everybody  was 
off  to  bed.  I  went  up  to  my  room  with  a  piece  of 
candle,  and  put  it  on  the  table.  Then  I  set  down  in  a 
chair  by  the  window  and  tried  to  think  of  something 
cheerful,  but  it  warn't  no  use.  I  felt  so  lonesome  I 
2 


18  Huckleberry  Finn 

most  wished  I  was  dead.  The  stars  were  shining,  and 
the  leaves  rustled  in  the  woods  ever  so  mournful;  and 
I  heard  an  owl,  away  off,  who-whooing  about  some 
body  that  was  dead,  and  a  whippowiil  and  a  dog  cry 
ing  about  somebody  that  was  going  to  die ;  and  the 
wind  was  trying  to  whisper  something  to  me,  and  I 
couldn't  make  out  what  it  was,  and  so  it  made  the  cold 
shivers  run  over  me.  Then  away  out  in  the  woods  I 
heard  that  kind  of  a  sound  that  a  ghost  makes  when  it 
wants  to  tell  about  something  that's  on  its  mind  and 
can't  make  itself  understood,  and  so  can't  rest  easy  in 
its  grave,  and  has  to  go  about  that  way  every  night 
grieving.  I  got  so  down-hearted  and  scared  I  did  wish 
I  had  some  company.  Pretty  soon  a  spider  went 
crawling  up  my  shoulder,  and  I  flipped  it  off  and  it  lit 
in  the  candle;  and  before  I  could  budge  it  was  all 
shriveled  up.  I  didn't  need  anybody  to  tell  me  that 
that  was  an  awful  bad  sign  and  would  fetch  me  some 
bad  luck,  so  I  was  scared  and  most  shook  the  clothes 
off  of  me.  I  got  up  and  turned  around  in  my  tracks 
three  times  and  crossed  my  breast  every  time;  and 
then  I  tied  up  a  little  lock  of  my  hair  with  a  thread  to 
keep  witches  away.  But  I  hadn't  no  confidence. 
You  do  that  when  you've  lost  a  horseshoe  that  you've 
found,  instead  of  nailing  it  up  over  the  door,  but  1 
hadn't  ever  heard  anybody  say  it  was  any  way  to  keep 
off  bad  luck  when  you'd  killed  a  spider. 

I  set  down  again,  a-shaking  all  over,  and  got  out  my 
pipe  for  a  smoke;  for  the  house  was  all  as  still  as 
death  now,  and  so  the  widow  wouldn't  know.  Well, 
after  a  long  time  I  heard  the  clock  away  off  in  the 
town  go  boom  —  boom  —  boom  —  twelve  licks;  and 
all  still  again  —  stiller  than  ever.  Pretty  scon  I  heard 
a  twig  snap  down  in  the  dark  amongst  the  trees  — 
something  was  a  stirring.  I  set  still  and  listened. 
Directly  I  could  just  barely  hear  a  "  me-yow!  me- 


Huckleberry  Finn  19 

yow  /"  down  there.  That  was  good!  Says  I,  "  me- 
yow  !  me-yoiv  /"  as  soft  as  I  could,  and  then  I  put 
out  the  light  and  scrambled  out  of  the  window  on  to 
the  shed.  Then  I  slipped  down  to  the  ground  and 
crawled  in  among  the  trees,  and,  sure  enough,  there 
was  Tom  Sawyer  waiting  for  me. 


CHAPTER    II. 

WE  went  tiptoeing  along  a  path  amongst  the  trees 
back  towards  the  end  of  the  widow's  garden, 
stooping  down  so  as  the  branches  wouldn't  scrape  our 
heads.  When  we  was  passing  by  the  kitchen  I  fell 
over  a  root  and  made  a  noise.  We  scrouched  down 
and  laid  still.  Miss  Watson's  big  nigger,  named  Jim, 
was  setting  in  the  kitchen  door;  we  could  see  him 
pretty  clear,  because  there  was  a  light  behind  him. 
He  got  up  and  stretched  his  neck  out  about  a  minute, 
listening.  Then  he  says : 

4 'Who  dah?" 

He  listened  some  more;  then  he  come  tiptoeing 
down  and  stood  right  between  us;  we  could  a  touched 
him,  nearly.  Well,  likely  it  was  minutes  and  minutes 
that  there  warn't  a  sound,  and  we  all  there  so  close 
together.  There  was  a  place  on  my  ankle  that  got  to 
itching,  but  I  dasn't  scratch  it;  and  then  my  ear  begun 
to  itch ;  and  next  my  back,  right  between  my  shoul 
ders.  Seemed  like  I'd  die  if  I  couldn't  scratch.  Well, 
I've  noticed  that  thing  plenty  times  since.  If  you  are 
with  the  quality,  or  at  a  funeral,  or  trying  to  go  to 
sleep  when  you  ain't  sleepy —  if  you  are  anywheres 
where  it  won't  do  for  you  to  scratch,  why  you  will  itch 
all  over  in  upwards  of  a  thousand  places.  Pretty  soon 
Jim  says: 

* '  Say,  who  is  you  ?  Whar  is  you  ?  Dog  my  cats 
ef  I  didn*  hear  sumf'n.  Well,  I  know  what  I's  gwynq 

(20; 


Huckleberry  Finn  21 

to  do:  I's  gwyne  to  set  down  here  and  listen  tell  I 
hears  it  agin." 

So  he  set  down  on  the  ground  betwixt  me  and  Tom. 
He  leaned  his  back  up  against  a  tree,  and  stretched  his 
legs  out  till  one  of  them  most  touched  one  of  mine. 
My  nose  begun  to  itch.  It  itched  till  the  tears  come 
into  my  eyes.  But  I  dasn't  scratch.  Then  it  begun 
to  itch  on  the  inside.  Next  I  got  to  itching  under 
neath.  I  didn't  know  how  I  was  going  to  set  still. 
This  miserableness  went  on  as  much  as  six  or  seven 
minutes ;  but  it  seemed  a  sight  longer  than  that.  I 
was  itching  in  eleven  different  places  now.  I  reckoned 
I  couldn't  stand  it  more'n  a  minute  longer,  but  I  set 
my  teeth  hard  and  got  ready  to  try.  Just  then  Jim 
begun  to  breathe  heavy;  next  he  begun  to  snore  — 
and  then  I  was  pretty  soon  comfortable  again. 

Tom  he  made  a  sign  to  me  —  kind  of  a  little  noise 
with  his  mouth  —  and  we  went  creeping  away  on  our 
hands  and  knees.  When  we  was  ten  foot  off  Tom 
whispered  to  me,  and  wanted  to  tie  Jim  to  the  tree  for 
fun.  But  I  said  no;  he  might  wake  and  make  a  dis 
turbance,  and  then  they'd  find  out  I  warn't  in.  Then 
Tom  said  he  hadn't  got  candles  enough,  and  he  would 
slip  in  the  kitchen  and  get  some  more.  I  didn't  want 
him  to  try.  I  said  Jim  might  wake  up  and  come. 
But  Tom  wanted  to  resk  it;  so  we  slid  in  there  and  got 
three  candles,  and  Tom  laid  five  cents  on  the  table  for 
pay.  Then  we  got  out,  and  I  was  in  a  sweat  to  get 
away ;  but  nothing  would  do  Tom  but  he  must  crawl 
to  where  Jim  was,  on  his  hands  and  knees,  and  play 
something  on  him.  I  waited,  and  it  seemed  a  good 
while,  everything  was  so  still  and  lonesome. 

As  soon  as  Tom  was  back  we  cut  along  the  path, 
around  the  garden  fence,  and  by  and  by  fetched  up  on 
the  steep  top  of  the  hill  the  other  side  of  the  house. 
Tom  said  he  slipped  Jim's  hat  off  of  his  head  and  hung 


22  Huckleberry  Finn 

it  on  a  limb  right  over  him,  andjim  stirred  a  little,  but 
he  didn't  wake.  Afterwards  Jim  said  the  witches  be 
witched  him  and  put  him  in  a  trance,  and  rode  him  all 
over  the  State,  and  then  set  him  under  the  trees  again, 
and  hung  his  hat  on  a  limb  to  show  who  done  it.  And 
next  time  Jim  told  it  he  said  they  rode  him  down  to 
New  Orleans;  and,  after  that,  every  time  he  told  it  he 
spread  it  more  and  more,  till  by  and  by  he  said  they 
rode  him  all  over  the  world,  and  tired  him  most  to 
death,  and  his  back  was  all  over  saddle-boils.  Jim 
was  monstrous  proud  about  it,  and  he  got  so  he 
wouldn't  hardly  notice  the  other  niggers.  Niggers 
would  come  miles  to  hear  Jim  tell  about  it,  and  he  was 
more  looked  up  to  than  any  nigger  in  that  country. 
Strange  niggers  would  stand  with  their  mouths  open 
and  look  him  all  over,  same  a*  if  he  was  a  wonder. 
Niggers  is  always  talking  about  witches  in  the  dark  by 
the  kitchen  fire;  but  whenever  one  was  talking  and 
letting  on  to  know  all  about  such  things,  Jim  would 
happen  in  and  say,  "  Hm !  What  you  know  'bout 
witches?"  and  that  nigger  was  corked  up  and  had  to 
take  a  back  seat.  Jim  always  kept  that  five-center 
piece  round  his  neck  with  a  string,  and  said  it  was  a 
charm  the  devil  give  to  him  with  his  own  hands,  and 
told  him  he  could  cure  anybody  with  it  and  fetch 
witches  whenever  he  wanted  to  just  by  saying  some 
thing  to  it ;  but  he  never  told  what  it  was  he  said  to  it. 
Niggers  would  come  from  all  around  there  and  give 
Jim  anything  they  had,  just  for  a  sight  of  that  five- 
center  piece ;  but  they  wouldn't  touch  it,  because  the 
devil  had  had  his  hands  on  it.  Jim  was  most  ruined 
for  a  servant,  because  he  got  stuck  up  on  account  of 
having  seen  the  devil  and  been  rode  by  witches. 

Well,  when  Tom  and  me  got  to  the  edge  of  the  hill 
top  we  looked  away  down  into  the  village  and  could 
see  three  or  four  lights  twinkling,  where  there  was  sick 


Huckleberry  Finn  23 

folks,  maybe;  and  the  stars  over  us  was  sparkling  ever 
so  fine ;  and  down  by  the  village  was  the  river,  a  whole 
mile  broad,  and  awful  still  and  grand.  We  went  down 
the  hill  and  found  ToJH[arper  and  Ben  Rogers,  and 
two  or  three  more  of  the  boys,  hid  in~lKe'l)TorTanyard. 
So  we  unhitched  a  skiff  and  pulled  down  the  river  two 
mile  and  a  half,  to  the  big  scar  on  the  hillside,  and 
went  ashore. 

We  went  to  a  clump  of  bushes,  and  Tom  made 
everybody  swear  to  keep  the  secret,  and  then  showed 
them  a  hole  in  the  hill,  right  in  the  thickest  part  of  the 
bushes.  Then  we  lit  the  candles,  and  crawled  in  on 
our  hands  and  knees.  We  went  about  two  hundred 
yards,  and  then  the  cave  opened  up.  Tom  poked 
about  amongst  the  passages,  and  pretty  soon  ducked 
under  a  wall  where  you  wouldn't  a  noticed  that  there 
was  a  hole.  We  went  along  a  narrow  place  and  got 
into  a  kind  of  room,  all  damp  and  sweaty  and  cold, 
and  there  we  stopped .  Tom  says : 

"Now,  we'll  start  this  band  of  robbers  and  call  it 
Tom  Sawyer's  Gang.  Everybody  that  wants  to  join 
has  got  to  take  an  oath,  and  write  his  name  in  blood." 

Everybody  was  willing.  So  Tom  got  out  a  sheet  of 
paper  that  he  had  wrote  the  oath  on,  and  read  it.  It 
swore  every  boy  to  stick  to  the  band,  and  never  tell 
any  of  the  secrets ;  and  if  anybody  done  anything  to 
any  boy  in  the  band,  whichever  boy  was  ordered  to 
kill  that  person,  and  his  family  must  do  it,  and  he 
mustn't  eat  and  he  mustn't  sleep  till  he  had  killed  them 
and  hacked  a  cross  in  their  breasts,  which  was  the  sign 
of  the  band.  And  nobody  that  didn't  belong  to  the 
band  could  use  that  mark,  and  if  he  did  he  must  be 
sued;  and  if  he  done  it  again  he  must  be  killed.  And 
if  anybody  that  belonged  to  the  band  told  the  secrets, 
he  must  have  his  throat  cut,  and  then  have  his  carcass 
burnt  up  and  the  ashes  scattered  all  around,  and  his 


24  Huckleberry  Finn 

name  blotted  off  of  the  list  with  blood  and  never  men 
tioned  again  by  the  gang,  but  have  a  curse  put  on  it 
and  be  forgot  forever. 

Everybody  said  it  was  a  real  beautiful  oath,  and 
asked  Tom  if  he  got  it  out  of  his  own  head.  He  said, 
some  of  it,  but  the  rest  was  out  of  pirate-books  and 
robber-books,  and  every  gang  that  was  high-toned 
had  it. 

Some  thought  it  would  be  good  to  kill  the  families 
of  boys  that  told  the  secrets.  Tom  said  it  was  a  good 
idea,  so  he  took  a  pencil  and  wrote  it  in.  Then  Ben 
Rogers  says : 

"  Here's  Huck  Finn,  he  hain't  got  no  family;  what 
you  going  to  do  'bout  him?" 

"  Well,  hain't  he  got  a  father?"   says  Tom  Sawyer. 

"Yes,  he's  got  a  father,  but  you  can't  never  find 
him  these  days.  He  used  to  lay  drunk  with  the  hogs 
in  the  tanyard,  but  he  hain't  been  seen  in  these  parts 
for  a  year  or  more." 

They  talked  it  over,  and  they  was  going  to  rule  me 
put,  because  they  said  every  boy  must  have  a  family 
or  somebody  to  kill,  or  else  it  wouldn't  be  fair  and 
square  for  the  others.  Well,  nobody  could  think  of 
anything  to  do  —  everybody  was  stumped,  and  set 
still.  I  was  most  ready  to  cry;  but  all  at  once  I 
thought  of  a  way,  and  so  I  offered  them  Miss  Watson 
—  they  could  kill  her.  Everybody  said: 

"  Oh,  she'll  do.  That's  all  right.  Huck  can  come 
in." 

Then  they  all  stuck  a  pin  in  their  fingers  to  get 
blood  to  sign  with,  and  I  made  my  mark  on  the  paper. 

"  Now,"  says  Ben  Rogers,  '*  what's  the  line  of  busi 
ness  of  this  Gang?" 

"  Nothing  only  robbery  and  murder,"  Tom  said. 

"  But  who  are  we  going  to  rob?  —  housts,  or  cattle, 
or " 


Huckleberry  Finn  25 

"Stuff!  stealing  cattle  and  such  things  ain't  rob 
bery;  it's  burglary,"  says  Tom  Sawyer.  '  We  ain't 
burglars.  That  ain't  no  sort  of  style.  We  are  high 
waymen.  We  stop  stages  and  carriages  on  the  road, 
with  masks  on,  and  kill  the  people  and  take  their 
watches  and  money." 

14  Must  we  always  kill  the  people?" 

"  Oh,  certainly.  It's  best.  Some  authorities  think 
different,  but  mostly  it's  considered  best  to  kill  them  — 
except  some  that  you  bring  to  the  cave  here,  and  keep 
them  till  they're  ransomed." 

"  Ransomed?     What's  that?" 

"I  don't  know.  But  that's  what  they  do.  I've 
seen  it  in  books;  and  so  of  course  that's  what  we've 
got  to  do." 

"  But  how  can  we  do  it  if  we  don't  know  what  it  is?" 

"  Why,  blame  it  all,  we've  got  to  do  it.  Don't  I  tell 
you  it's  in  the  books?  Do  you  want  to  go  to  doing 
different  from  what's  in  the  books,  and  get  things  all 
muddled  up?" 

"  Oh,  that's  all  very  fine  to  say,  Tom  Sawyer,  but 
how  in  the  nation  are  these  fellows  going  to  be  ran 
somed  if  we  don't  know  how  to  do  it  to  them?  —  that's 
the  thing  /  want  to  get  at.  Now,  what  do  you  reckon 
it  is?" 

"  Well,  I  don't  know.  But  per'aps  if  we  keep  them 
till  they're  ransomed,  it  means  that  we  keep  them  till 
they're  dead." 

"Now,  that's  something  like.  That'll  answer. 
Why  couldn't  you  said  that  before?  We'll  keep  them 
till  they're  ransomed  to  death;  and  a  bothersome  lot 
they'll  be,  too  —  eating  up  everything,  and  always 
trying  to  get  loose." 

'*  How  you  talk,  Ben  Rogers.  How  can  they  get 
loose  when  there's  a  guard  over  them,  ready  to  shoot 
them  down  if  they  move  a  peg?" 


26  Huckleberry  Finn 

"A  guard!  Well,  that  is  good.  So  somebody's 
got  to  set  up  all  night  and  never  get  any  sleep,  just  so 
as  to  watch  them.  I  think  that's  foolishness.  Why 
can't  a  body  take  a  club  and  ransom  them  as  soon  as 
they  get  here?" 

"  Because  it  ain't  in  the  books  so  —  that's  why. 
Now,  Ben  Rogers,  do  you  want  to  do  things  regular, 
or  don't  you?  —  that's  the  idea.  Don't  you  reckon 
that  the  people  that  made  the  books  knows  what's  the 
correct  thing  to  do?  Do  you  reckon  you  can  learn 
'em  anything?  Not  by  a  good  deal.  No,  sir,  we'll 
just  go  on  and  ransom  them  in  the  regular  way." 

"All  right.  I  don't  mind;  but  I  say  it's  a  fool 
way,  anyhow.  Say,  do  we  kill  the  women,  too?" 

"Well,  Ben  Rogers,  if  I  was  as  ignorant  as  you  I 
wouldn't  let  on.  Kill  the  women?  No;  nobody  ever 
saw  anything  in  the  books  like  that.  You  fetch  them 
to  the  cave,  and  you're  always  as  polite  as  pie  to  them ; 
and  by  and  by  they  fall  in  love  with  you,  and  never 
want  to  go  home  any  more." 

"Well,  if  that's  the  way  I'm  agreed,  but  I  don't 
take  no  stock  in  it.  Mighty  soon  we'll  have  the  cave 
so  cluttered  up  with  women,  and  fellows  waiting  to  be 
ransomed,  that  there  won't  be  no  place  for  the  rob 
bers.  But  go  ahead,  I  ain't  got  nothing  to  say." 

Little  Tommy  Barnes  was  asleep  now,  and  when 
they  waked  him  up  he  was  scared,  and  cried,  and  said 
he  wanted  to  go  home  to  his  ma,  and  didn't  want  to 
be  a  robber  any  more. 

So  they  all  made  fun  of  him,  and  called  him  cry 
baby,  and  that  made  him  mad,  and  he  said  he  would 
go  straight  and  tell  all  the  secrets.  But  Tom  give  him 
five  cents  to  keep  quiet,  and  said  we  would  all  go  home 
and  meet  next  week,  and  rob  somebody  and  kill  some 
people. 

Ben   Rogers  said   he  couldn't  get  out  much,  only 


Huckleberry  Finn  27 

Sundays,  and  so  he  wanted  to  begin  next  Sunday;  but 
all  the  boys  said  it  would  be  wicked  to  do  it  on  Sunday, 
and  that  settled  the  thing.  They  agreed  to  get"  to 
gether  and  fix  a  day  as  soon  as  they  could,  and  then 
we  elected  Tom  Sawyer  first  captain  and  Jo  Harper 
second  captain  of  the  Gang,  and  so  started  home. 

I  clumb  up  the  shed  and  crept  into  my  window  just 
before  day  was  breaking.  My  new  clothes  was  all 
greased  up  and  clayey,  and  I  was  dog-tired. 


CHAPTER   III. 

WELL,  I  got  a  good  going-over  in  the  morning 
from  old  Miss  Watson  on  account  of  my 
clothes;  but  the  widow  she  didn't  scold,  but  only 
cleaned  off  the  grease  and  clay,  and  looked  so  sorry 
that  I  thought  I  would  behave  awhile  if  I  could.  Then 
Miss  Watson  she  took  me  in  the  closet  and  prayed,  but 
nothing  come  of  it.  She  told  me  to  pray  every  day, 
and  whatever  I  asked  for  I  would  get  it.  But  it  warn't 
so.  I  tried  it.  Once  I  got  a  fish-line,  but  no  hooks. 
It  warn't  any  good  to  me  without  hooks.  I  tried  for 
the  hooks  three  or  four  times,  but  somehow  I  couldn't 
make  it  work.  By  and  by,  one  day,  I  asked  Miss 
Watson  to  try  for  me,  but  she  said  I  was  a  fool.  She 
never  told  me  why,  and  I  couldn't  make  it  out  no  way. 
I  set  down  one  time  back  in  the  woods,  and  had  a 
long  think  about  it.  I  says  to  myself,  if  a  body  can 
get  anything  they  pray  for,  why  don't  Deacon  Winn 
get  back  the  money  he  lost  on  pork?  Why  can't  the 
widow  get  back  her  silver  snuffbox  that  was  stole? 
Why  can't  Miss  Watson  fat  up?  No,  says  I  to  my 
self,  there  ain't  nothing  in  it.  I  went  and  told  the 
widow  about  it,  and  she  said  the  thing  a  body  could 
get  by  praying  for  it  was  "  spiritual  gifts."  This  was 
too  many  for  me,  but  she  told  me  what  she  meant  —  I 
must  help  other  people,  and  do  everything  I  could  for 
other  people,  and  look  out  for  them  all  the  time,  and 
never  think  about  myself.  This  was  including  Miss 

(28) 


Huckleberry  Finn  29 

Watson,  as  I  took  it.  I  went  out  in  the  woods  and 
turned  it  over  in  my  mind  a  long  time,  but  I  couldn't 
see  no  advantage  about  it  —  except  for  the  other  peo 
ple;  so  at  last  I  reckoned  I  wouldn't  worry  about  it 
any  more,  but  just  let  it  go.  Sometimes  the  widow 
would  take  me  one  side  and  talk  about  Providence  in  a 
way  to  make  a  body's  mouth  water;  but  maybe  next 
day  Miss  Watson  would  take  hold  and  knock  it  all 
down  again.  I  judged  I  could  see  that  there  was  two 
Providences,  and  a  poor  chap  would  stand  considerable 
show  with  the  widow's  Providence,  but  if  Miss  Wat 
son's  got  him  there  warn't  no  help  for  him  any  more. 
I  thought  it  all  out,  and  reckoned  I  would  belong  to 
the  widow's  if  he  wanted  me,  though  I  couldn't  make 
out  how  he  was  a-going  to  be  any  better  off  then  than 
what  he  was  before,  seeing  I  was  so  ignorant,  and  so 
kind  of  low-down  and  ornery. 

Pap  he  hadn't  been  seen  for  more  than  a  year,  and 
that  was  comfortable  for  me;  I  didn't  want  to  see  him 
no  more.  He  used  to  always  whale  me  when  he  was 
sober  and  could  get  his  hands  on  me ;  though  I  used 
to  take  to  the  woods  most  of  the  time  when  he  was 
around.  Well,  about  this  time  he  was  found  in  the 
river  drownded,  about  twelve  mile  above  town,  so 
people  said.  They  judged  it  was  him,  anyway;  said 
this  drownded  man  was  just  his  size,  and  was  ragged, 
and  had  uncommon  long  hair,  which  was  all  like  pap ; 
but  they  couldn't  make  nothing  out  of  the  face,  be 
cause  it  had  been  in  the  water  so  long  it  warn't  much 
like  a  face  at  all.  They  said  he  was  floating  on  his 
back  in  the  water.  They  took  him  and  buried  him  on 
the  bank.  But  I  warn't  comfortable  long,  because  I 
happened  to  think  of  something.  I  knowed  mighty 
well  that  a  drownded  man  don't  float  on  his  back,  but 
on  his  face.  So  I  knowed,  then,  that  this  warn't  pap, 
but  a  woman  dressed  up  in  a  man's  clothes.  So  I  was 


30  Huckleberry  Finn 

uncomfortable  again.  I  judged  the  old  man  would 
turn  up  again  by  and  by,  though  I  wished  he  wouldn't. 
We  played  robber  now  and  then  about  a  month,  and 
then  I  resigned.  All  the  boys  did.  We  hadn't  robbed 
nobody,  hadn't  killed  any  people,  but  only  just  pre 
tended.  We  used  to  hop  out  of  the  woods  and  go 
charging  down  on  hog-drivers  and  women  in  carts 
taking  garden  stuff  to  market,  but  we  never  hived  any 
of  them.  Tom  Sawyer  called  the  hogs  "  ingots,"  and 
he  called  the  turnips  and  stuff  "  julery,"  and  we  would 
go  to  the  cave  and  powwow  over  what  we  had  done, 
and  how  many  people  we  had  killed  and  marked.  But 
I  couldn't  see  no  profit  in  it.  One  time  Tom  sent  a 
boy  to  run  about  town  with  a  blazing  stick,  which  he 
called  a  slogan  (which  was  the  sign  for  the  Gang  to 
get  together) ,  and  then  he  said  he  had  got  secret  news 
by  his  spies  that  next  day  a  whole  parcel  of  Spanish 
merchants  and  rich  A-rabs  was  going  to  camp  in  Cave 
Hollow  with  two  hundred  elephants,  and  six  hundred 
camels,  and  over  a  thousand  "sumter"  mules,  all 
loaded  down  with  di'monds,  and  they  didn't  have  only 
a  guard  of  four  hundred  soldiers,  and  so  we  would  lay 
in  ambuscade,  as  he  called  it,  and  kill  the  lot  and 
scoop  the  things.  He  said  we  must  slick  up  our  swords 
and  guns,  and  get  ready.  He  never  could  go  after 
even  a  turnip-cart  but  he  must  have  the  swords  and 
guns  all  scoured  up  for  it,  though  they  was  only  lath 
and  broomsticks,  and  you  might  scour  at  them  till  you 
rotted,  and  then  they  warn't  worth  a  mouthful  of  ashes 
more  than  what  they  was  before.  I  didn't  believe  we 
could  lick  such  a  crowd  of  Spaniards  and  A-rabs,  but 
I  wanted  to  see  the  camels  and  elephants,  so  I  was  on 
hand  next  day,  Saturday,  in  the  ambuscade ;  and  when 
we  got  the  word  we  rushed  out  of  the  woods  and  down 
the  hill.  But  there  warn't  no  Spaniards  and  A-rabs, 
and  there  warn't  no  camels  nor  no  elephants.  It 


Huckleberry  Finn  31 

warn't  anything  but  a  Sunday-school  picnic,  and  only 
a  primer-class  at  that.  We  busted  it  up,  and  chased 
the  children  up  the  hollow;  but  we  never  got  anything 
but  some  doughnuts  and  jam,  though  Ben  Rogers  got 
a  rag  doll,  and  Jo  Harper  got  a  hymn-book  and  a 
tract;  and  then  the  teacher  charged  in,  and  made  us 
drop  everything  and  cut.  I  didn't  see  no  di'monds, 
and  I  told  Tom  Sawyer  so.  He  said  there  was  loads 
of  them  there,  anyway;  and  he  said  there  was  A-rabs 
there,  too,  and  elephants  and  things.  I  said,  why 
couldn't  we  see  them,  then?  He  said  if  I  warn't  so 
ignorant,  but  had  read  a  book  called  Don  Quixote,  I 
would  know  without  asking.  He  said  it  was  all  done 
by  enchantment.  He  said  there  was  hundreds  of 
sodiers  there,  and  elephants  and  treasure,  and  so  on, 
but  we  had  enemies  which  he  called  magicians,  and 
they  had  turned  the  whole  thing  into  an  infant  Sunday- 
school,  just  out  of  spite.  I  said,  all  right;  then  the 
thing  for  us  to  do  was  to  go  for  the  magicians.  Tom 
Sawyer  said  I  was  a  numskull. 

"Why,"  said  he,  "a  magician  could  call  up  a  lot 
of  genies,  and  they  would  hash  you  up  like  nothing 
before  you  could  say  Jack  Robinson.  They  are  as  tall 
as  a  tree  and  as  big  around  as  a  church." 

"Well,"    I   says,  "  s'pose   we   got  some   genies  to 
help  us  —  can't  we  lick  the  other  crowd  then?" 
"  How  you  going  to  get  them?" 
"  I  don't  know.      How  do  they  get  them?" 
"Why,  they  rub  an  old  tin  lamp  or  an  iron  ring, 
and  then  the  genies  come  tearing  in,  with  the  thunder 
and  lightning  a-ripping  around  and  the  smoke. a-rolling, 
and   everything  they're  told  to  do  they  up  and  do  it. 
They  don't  think  nothing  of  pulling  a  shot-tower  up 
by  the  roots,  and  belting  a  Sunday-school  superinten 
dent  over  the  head  with  it  —  or  any  other  man." 
"  Who  makes  them  tear  around  so?" 


32  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Why,  whoever  rubs  the  lamp  or  the  ring.  They 
belong  to  whoever  rubs  the  lamp  or  the  ring,  and 
they've  got  to  do  whatever  he  says.  If  he  tells  them 
to  build  a  palace  forty  miles  long  out  of  di'monds,  and 
fill  it  full  of  chewing-gum,  or  whatever  you  want,  and 
fetch  an  emperor's  daughter  from  China  for  you  to 
marry,  they've  got  to  do  it  —  and  they've  got  to  do  it 
before  sun-up  next  morning,  too.  And  more:  they've 
got  to  waltz  that  palace  around  over  the  country 
wherever  you  want  it,  you  understand." 

"Well,  "says  I,  "  I  think  they  are  a  pack  of  flat- 
heads  for  not  keeping  the  palace  themselves  'stead  of 
fooling  them  away  like  that.  And  what's  more  —  if  I 
was  one  of  them  I  would  see  a  man  in  Jericho  before  I 
would  drop  my  business  and  come  to  him  for  the  rub 
bing  of  an  old  tin  lamp." 

11  Plow  you  talk,  Huck  Finn.  Why,  you'd  have  to 
come  when  he  rubbed  it,  whether  you  wanted  to  or 
not." 

*  What !  and  I  as  high  as  a  tree  and  as  big  as  a 
church?  All  right,  then;  I  would  come;  but  I  lay 
I'd  make  that  man  climb  the  highest  tree  there  was  in 
the  country." 

"  Shucks,  it  ain't  no  use  to  talk  to  you,  Huck  Finn. 
You  don't  seem  to  know  anything,  somehow  —  perfect 
saphead." 

I  thought  all  this  over  for  two  or  three  days,  and 
then  I  reckoned  I  would  see  if  there  was  anything  in  it. 
I  got  an  old  tin  lamp  and  an  iron  ring,  and  went  out  in 
the  woods  and  rubbed  and  rubbed  till  I  sweat  like  an 
Injun,  calculating  to  build  a  palace  and  sell  it;  but  it 
warn't  no  use,  none  of  the  genies  come.  So  then  I 
judged  that  all  that  stuff  was  only  just  one  of  Tom 
Sawyer's  lies.  I  reckoned  he  believed  in  the  A-rabs 
and  the  elephants,  but  as  for  me  I  think  different.  It 
had  all  the  marks  of  a  Sunday-school. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

WELL,  three  or  four  months  run  along,  and  it  was 
well  into  the  winter  now.  I  had  been  to  school 
most  all  the  time  and  could  spell  and  read  and  write 
just  a  little,  and  could  say  the  multiplication  table  up 
to  six  times  seven  is  thirty-five,  and  I  don't  reckon  I 
could  ever  get  any  further  than  that  if  I  was  to  live 
forever.  I  don't  take  no  stock  in  mathematics,  any 
way. 

At  first  I  hated  the  school,  but  by  and  by  I  got  so  I 
could  stand  it.  Whenever  I  got  uncommon  tired  I 
played  hookey,  and  the  hiding  I  got  next  day  done  me 
good  and  cheered  me  up.  So  the  longer  I  went  to 
school  the  easier  it  got  to  be.  I  was  getting  sort  of 
used  to  the  widow's  ways,  too,  and  they  warn't  so 
raspy  on  me.  Living  in  a  house  and  sleeping  in  a  bed 
pulled  on  me  pretty  tight  mostly,  but  before  the  cold 
weather  I  used  to  slide  out  and  sleep  in  the  woods 
sometimes,  and  so  that  was  a  rest  to  me.  I  liked  the 
old  ways  best,  but  I  was  getting  so  I  liked  the  new 
ones,  too,  a  little  bit.  The  widow  said  I  was  coming 
along  slow  but  sure,  and  doing  very  satisfactory.  She 
said  she  warn't  ashamed  of  me. 

One  morning  I  happened  to  turn  over  the  salt-cellar 
at  breakfast.  I  reached  for  some  of  it  as  quick  as  I 
could  to  throw  over  my  left  shoulder  and  keep  off  the 
bad  luck,  but  Miss  Watson  was  in  ahead  of  me,  and 
crossed  me  off.  She  says,  "Take  your  hands  away, 
3  (33) 


34  Huckleberry  Finn 

Huckleberry;  what  a  mess  you  are  always  making!" 
The  widow  put  in  a  good  word  for  me,  but  that  warn't 
going  to  keep  off  the  bad  luck,  I  knowed  that  well 
enough.  I  started  out,  after  breakfast,  feeling  worried 
and  shaky,  and  wondering  where  it  was  going  to  fall 
on  me,  and  what  it  was  going  to  be.  There  is  ways  to 
keep  off  some  kinds  of  bad  luck,  but  this  wasn't  one 
of  them  kind ;  so  I  never  tried  to  do  anything,  but  just 
poked  along  low-spirited  and  on  the  watch-out. 

I  went  down  to  the  front  garden  and  clumb  over  the 
stile  where  you  go  through  the  high  board  fence. 
There  was  an  inch  of  new  snow  on  the  ground,  and  I 
seen  somebody's  tracks.  They  had  come  up  from  the 
quarry  and  stood  around  the  stile  a  while,  and  then 
went  on  around  the  garden  fence.  It  was  funny  they 
hadn't  come  in,  after  standing  around  so.  I  couldn't 
make  it  out.  It  was  very  curious,  somehow.  I  was 
going  to  follow  around,  but  I  stooped  down  to  look  at 
the  tracks  first.  I  didn't  notice  anything  at  first,  but 
next  I  did.  There  was  a  cross  in  the  left  boot-heel 
made  with  big  nails,  to  keep  off  the  devil. 

I  was  up  in  a  second  and  shinning  down  the  hill.  1 
looked  over  my  shoulder  every  now  and  then,  but  I 
didn't  see  nobody.  I  was  at  Judge  Thatcher's  as  quick 
as  I  could  get  there.  He  said : 

"Why,  my  boy,  you  are  all  out  of  breath.  Did 
you  come  for  your  interest?" 

"  No,  sir,"  I  says;   "  is  there  some  for  me?" 

"Oh,  yes,  a  half-yearly  is  in  last  night  —  over  a 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars.  Quite  a  fortune  for  you. 
You  had  better  let  me  invest  it  along  with  your  six 
thousand,  because  if  you  take  it  you'll  spend  it." 

"No,  sir,"  I  says,  '*  I  don't  want  to  spend  it.  I 
don't  want  it  at  all  —  nor  the  six  thousand,  nuther. 
I  want  you  to  take  it ;  I  want  to  give  it  to  you  —  the 
six  thousand  and  all." 


Huckleberry  Finn  35 

He  looked  surprised.  He  couldn't  seem  to  make 
it  out.  He  says : 

"  Why,  what  can  you  mean,  my  boy?" 

"  I  says,  '*  Don't  you  ask  me  no  questions  about  it, 
please.  You'll  take  it  —  won't  you?" 

He  says : 

"  Well,  I'm  puzzled.     Is  something  the  matter?" 

"  Please  take  it,"  says  I,  "  and  don't  ask  me  noth 
ing —  then  I  won't  have  to  tell  no  lies." 

He  studied  a  while,  and  then  he  says: 

"  Oho-o  !  I  think  I  see.  You  want  to  sell  all  your 
property  to  me  —  not  give  it.  That's  the  correct 
idea." 

Then  he  wrote  something  on  a  paper  and  read  it 
over,  and  says: 

"  There;  you  see  it  says  '  for  a  consideration.'  That 
means  I  have  bought  it  of  you  and  paid  you  for  it. 
Here's  a  dollar  for  you.  Now  you  sign  it." 

So  I  signed  it,  and  left. 

Miss  Watson's  nigger,  Jim,  had  a  hair-ball  as  big  as 
your  fist,  which  had  been  took  out  of  the  fourth 
stomach  of  an  ox,  and  he  used  to  do  magic  with  it. 
He  said  there  was  a  spirit  inside  of  it,  and  it  knowed 
everything.  So  I  went  to  him  that  night  and  told  him 
pap  was  here  again,  for  I  found  his  tracks  in  the  snow. 
What  I  wanted  to  know  was,  what  he  was  going  to  do, 
and  was  he  going  to  stay?  Jim  got  out  his  hair-ball 
and  said  something  over  it,  and  then  he  held  it  up  and 
dropped  it  on  the  floor.  It  fell  pretty  solid,  and  only 
rolled  about  an  inch.  Jim  tried  it  again,  and  then 
another  time,  and  it  acted  just  the  same.  Jim  got 
down  on  his  knees,  and  put  his  ear  against  it  and 
listened.  But  it  warn't  no  use;  he  said  it  wouldn't 
talk.  He  said  sometimes  it  wouldn't  talk  without 
money.  I  told  him  I  had  an  old  slick  counterfeit 
quarter  that  warn't  no  good  because  the  brass  showed 
c 


36  Huckleberry  Finn 

through  the  silver  a  little,  and  it  wouldn't  pass  nohow, 
even  if  the  brass  didn't  show,  because  it  was  so  slick 
it  felt  greasy,  and  so  that  would  tell  on  it  every  time. 
(I  reckoned  I  wouldn't  say  nothing  about  the  dollar  I 
got  from  the  judge.)  I  said  it  was  pretty  bad  money, 
but  maybe  the  hair-ball  would  take  it,  because  maybe 
it  wouldn't  know  the  difference.  Jim  smelt  it  and  bit 
it  and  rubbed  it,  and  said  he  would  manage  so  the 
hair-ball  would  think  it  was  good.  He  said  he  would 
split  open  a  raw  Irish  potato  and  stick  the  quarter  in 
between  and  keep  it  there  all  night,  and  next  morning 
you  couldn't  see  no  brass,  and  it  wouldn't  feel  greasy 
no  more,  and  so  anybody  in  town  would  take  it  in  a 
minute,  let  alone  a  hair-ball.  Well,  I  knowed  a  potato 
would  do  that  before,  but  I  had  forgot  it. 

Jim  put  trje  quarter  under  the  hair-ball,  and  got 
down  and  listened  again.  This  time  he  said  the  hair- 
ball  was  all  right.  He  said  it  would  tell  my  whole 
fortune  if  I  wanted  it  to.  I  says,  go  on.  So  the  hair- 
ball  talked  to  Jim,  and  Jim  told  it  to  me.  He  says : 

"  Yo'  ole  father  doan'  know  yit  what  he's  a-gwyne 
to  do.  Sometimes  he  spec  he'll  go  'way,  en  den  agin 
he  spec  he'll  stay.  De  bes'  way  is  to  res'  easy  en  let 
de  ole  man  take  his  own  way.  Dey's  two  angels 
hoverin'  roun'  'bout  him.  One  uv  'em  is  white  en 
shiny,  en  t'other  one  is  black.  De  white  one  gits  him 
to  go  right  a  little  while,  den  de  black  one  sail  in  en 
bust  it  all  up.  A  body  can't  tell  yit  which  one  gwyne 
to  fetch  him  at  de  las'.  But  you  is  all  right.  You 
gwyne  to  have  considable  trouble  in  yo'  life,  en  con- 
sidable  joy.  Sometimes  you  gwyne  to  git  hurt,  en 
sometimes  you  gwyne  to  git  sick;  but  every  time  you's 
gwyne  to  git  well  agin.  Dey's  two  gals  flyin'  'bout 
you  in  yo'  life.  One  uv  'em's  light  en  t'other  one  is 
dark.  One  is  rich  en  t'other  is  po'.  You's  gwyne  to 
marry  de  po'  one  fust  en  de  rich  one  by  en  by.  You 


Huckleberry  Finn  37 

wants  to  keep  'way  fum  de  water  as  much  as  you  kin, 
en  don't  run  no  resk,  'kase  it's  down  in  de  bills  dat 
you's  gwyne  to  git  hung." 

When  I  lit  my  candle  and  went  up  to  my  room  that 
night  there  sat  pap  —  his  own  self ! 


CHAPTER  V. 

!HAD  shut  the  door  to.  Then  I  turned  around, 
and  there  he  was.  I  used  to  be  scared  of  him  all 
the  time,  he  tanned  me  so  much.  I  reckoned  I  was 
scared  now,  too ;  but  in  a  minute  I  see  I  was  mistaken 
—  that  is,  after  the  first  jolt,  as  you  may  say,  when 
my  breath  sort  of  hitched,  he  being  so  unexpected; 
but  right  away  after  I  see  I  warn't  scared  of  him  worth 
bothring  about. 

He  was  most  fifty,  and  he  looked  it.  His  hair  was 
long  and  tangled  and  greasy,  and  hung  down,  and  you 
could  see  his  eyes  shining  through  like  he  was  behind 
vines.  It  was  all  black,  no  gray;  so  was  his  long, 
mixed-up  whiskers.  There  warn't  no  color  in  his  face, 
where  his  face  showed ;  it  was  white ;  not  like  another 
man's  white,  but  a  white  to  make  a  body  sick,  a  white 
to  make  a  body's  flesh  crawl  —  a  tree-toad  white,  a 
fish-belly  white.  As  for  his  clothes  —  just  rags,  that 
was  all.  He  had  one  ankle  resting  on  t'other  knee; 
the  boot  on  that  foot  was  busted,  and  two  of  his  toes 
stuck  through,  and  he  worked  them  now  and  then. 
His  hat  was  laying  on  the  floor  —  an  old  black  slouch 
with  the  top  caved  in,  like  a  lid. 

I  stood  a-looking  at  him ;  he  set  there  a-looking  at 
me,  with  his  chair  tilted  back  a  little.  I  set  the  candle 
down.  I  noticed  the  window  was  up  ;  so  he  had  dumb 
in  by  the  shed.  He  kept  a-looking  me  all  over.  By 
and  by  he  says: 

(38) 


Huckleberry  Finn  39 

"  Starchy  clothes  —  very.  You  think  you're  a  good 
deal  of  a  big-bug,  don't  you?" 

;|  Maybe  I  am,  maybe  I  ain't,'*  I  says. 

"  Don't  you  give  me  none  o'  your  lip,"  says  he. 
"You've  put  on  considerable  many  frills  since  I  been 
away.  I'll  take  you  down  a  peg  before  I  get  done 
with  you.  You're  educated,  too,  they  say  —  can  read 
and  write.  You  think  you're  better' n  your  father, 
now,  don't  you,  because  he  can't?  /'//  take  it  out  of 
you.  Who  told  you  you  might  meddle  with  such 
hifalut'n  foolishness,  hey?  —  who  told  you  you  could?" 

"  The  widow.     She  told  me." 

' '  The  widow,  hey  ?  - —  and  who  told  the  widow  she 
could  put  in  her  shovel  about  a  thing  that  ain't  none  of 
her  business?" 

"  Nobody  never  told  her." 

"Well,  I'll  learn  her  how  to  meddle.  And  looky 
here  —  you  drop  that  school,  you  hear?  I'll  learn 
people  to  bring  up  a  boy  to  put  on  airs  over  his  own 
father  and  let  on  to  be  better' n  what  he  is.  You  lemme 
catch  you  fooling  around  that  school  again,  you  hear? 
Your  mother  couldn't  read,  and  she  couldn't  write, 
nuther,  before  she  died.  None  of  the  family  couldn't 
before  they  died,  /can't;  and  here  you're  a-swelling 
yourself  up  like  this.  I  ain't  the  man  to  stand  it  — 
you  hear?  Say,  lemme  hear  you  read." 

I  took  up  a  book  and  begun  something  about  Gen 
eral  Washington  and  the  wars.  When  I'd  read  about 
a  half  a  minute,  he  fetched  the  book  a  whack  with  his 
hand  and  knocked  it  across  the  house.  He  says : 

"  It's  so.  You  can  do  it.  I  had  my  doubts  when 
you  told  me.  Now  looky  here ;  you  stop  that  putting 
on  frills.  I  won't  have  it.  I'll  lay  for  you,  my 
smarty;  and  if  I  catch  you  about  that  school  I'll  tan 
you  good.  First  you  know  you'll  get  religion,  too.  I 
never  see  such  a  son." 


40  Huckleberry  Finn 

He  took  up  a  little  blue  and  yaller  picture  of  some 
cows  and  a  boy,  and  says : 

"What's  this?" 

"It's  something  they  give  me  for  learning  my 
lessons  good." 

He  tore  it  up,  and  says: 

"I'll  give  you  something  better  —  I'll  give  you  a 
cowhide." 

He  set  there  a-mumbling  and  a-growling  a  minute, 
and  then  he  says : 

"Ain't  you  a  sweet-scented  dandy,  though?  A 
bed;  and  bedclothes;  and  a  look'n'-glass;  and  a  piece 
of  carpet  on  the  floor  —  and  your  own  father  got  to 
sleep  with  the  hogs  in  the  tanyard.  I  never  see  such  a 
son.  I  bet  I'll  take  some  o'  these  frills  out  o'  you 
before  I'm  done  with  you.  WThy,  there  ain't  no  end  to 
your  airs  —  they  say  you 're  rich.  Hey? — how's  that?" 
'They  lie  — that's  how." 

"  Looky  here  —  mind  how  you  talk  to  me;  I'm  a- 
standing  about  all  lean  stand  now — so  don't  gimme 
no  sass.  I've  been  in  town  two  days,  and  I  hain't 
heard  nothing  but  about  you  bein'  rich.  I  heard 
about  it  away  down  the  river,  too.  That's  why  I 
come.  You  git  me  that  money  to-morrow — I  want 
it." 

"  I  hain't  got  no  money." 

"It's  a  lie.  Judge  Thatcher's  got  it.  You  git  it. 
I  want  it." 

"  I  hain't  got  no  money,  I  tell  you.  You  ask  Judge 
Thatcher;  he'll  tell  you  the  same." 

"  All  right.  I'll  ask  him ;  and  I'll  make  him  pungle, 
too,  or  I'll  know  the  reason  why.  Say,  how  much 
you  got  in  your  pocket?  I  want  it." 

"  I  hain't  got  only  a  dollar,  and  I  want  that  to ' 

"  It  don't  make  no  difference  what  you  want  it  for 
—  you  just  shell  it  out." 


Huckleberry  Finn  41 

He  took  it  and  bit  it  to  see  if  it  was  good,  and  then 
he  said  he  was  going  down  town  to  get  some  whisky; 
said  he  hadn't  had  a  drink  all  day.  When  he  had  got 
out  on  the  shed  he  put  his  head  in  again,  and  cussed 
me  for  putting  on  frills  and  trying  to  be  better  than 
him ;  and  when  I  reckoned  he  was  gone  he  come  back 
and  put  his  head  in  again,  and  told  me  to  mind  about 
that  school,  because  he  was  going  to  lay  for  me  and 
lick  me  if  I  didn't  drop  that. 

Next  day  he  was  drunk,  and  he  went  to  Judge 
Thatcher's  and  bullyragged  him,  and  tried  to  make 
him  give  up  the  money;  but  he  couldn't,  and  then  he 
swore  he'd  make  the  law  force  him. 

The  judge  and  the  widow  went  to  law  to  get  the 
court  to  take  me  away  from  him  and  let  one  of  them 
be  my  guardian ;  but  it  was  a  new  judge  that  had  just 
come,  and  he  didn't  know  the  old  man;  so  he  said 
courts  mustn't  interfere  and  separate  families  if  they 
could  help  it;  said  he'd  druther  not  take  a  child  away 
from  its  father.  So  Judge  Thatcher  and  the  widow 
had  to  quit  on  the  business. 

That  pleased  the  old  man  till  he  couldn't  rest.  He 
said  he'd  cowhide  me  till  I  was  black  and  blue  if  I 
didn't  raise  some  money  for  him.  I  borrowed  three 
dollars  from  Judge  Thatcher,  and  pap  took  it  and  got 
drunk,  and  went  a-blowing  around  and  cussing  and 
whooping  and  carrying  on ;  and  he  kept  it  up  all  over 
town,  with  a  tin  pan,  till  most  midnight;  then  they 
jailed  him,  and  next  day  they  had  him  before  court, 
and  jailed  him  again  for  a  week.  But  he  said  he  was 
satisfied;  said  he  was  boss  of  his  son,  and  he'd  make 
it  warm  for  him. 

When  he  got  out  the  new  judge  said  he  was  a-going 
to  make  a  man  of  him.  So  he  took  him  to  his 
own  house,  and  dressed  him  up  clean  and  nice,  and 
had  him  to  breakfast  and  dinner  and  supper  with  the 


42  Huckleberry  Finn 

family,  and  was  just  old  pie  to  him,  so  to  speak.  And 
after  supper  he  talked  to  him  about  temperance  and 
such  things  till  the  old  man  cried,  and  said  he'd  been  a 
fool,  and  fooled  away  his  life ;  but  now  he  was  a-going 
to  turn  over  a  new  leaf  and  be  a  man  nobody  wouldn't 
be  ashamed  of,  and  he  hoped  the  judge  would  help 
him  and  not  look  down  on  him.  The  judge  said  he 
could  hug  him  for  them  words;  so  he  cried,  and  his 
wife  she  cried  again ;  pap  said  he'd  been  a  man  that  had 
always  been  misunderstood  before,  and  the  judge  said 
he  believed  it.  The  old  man  said  that  what  a  man 
wanted  that  was  down  was  sympathy,  and  the  judge 
said  it  was  so  ;  so  they  cried  again.  And  when  it  was 
bedtime  the  old  man  rose  up  and  held  out  his  hand, 
and  says : 

1 '  Look  at  it,  gentlemen  and  ladies  all ;  take  a-hold 
of  it;  shake  it.  There's  a  hand  that  was  the  hand  of 
a  hog;  but  it  ain't  so  no  more;  it's  the  hand  of  a  man 
that's  started  in  on  a  new  life,  and '11  die  before  he'll 
go  back.  You  mark  them  words  —  don't  forget  I  said 
them.  It's  a  clean  hand  now;  shake  it  —  don't  be 
afeard." 

So  they  shook  it,  one  after  the  other,  all  around,  and 
cried.  The  judge's  wife  she  kissed  it.  Then  the  old 
man  he  signed  a  pledge  —  made  his  mark.  The  judge 
said  it  was  the  holiest  time  on  record,  or  something 
like  that.  Then  they  tucked  the  old  man  into  a  beauti 
ful  room,  which  was  the  spare  room,  and  in  the  night 
some  time  he  got  powerful  thirsty  and  dumb  out  on  to 
the  porch-roof  and  slid  down  a  stanchion  and  traded  his 
new  coat  for  a  jug  of  forty-rod,  and  dumb  back  again 
and  had  a  good  old  time ;  and  towards  daylight  he 
crawled  out  again,  drunk  as  a  fiddler,  and  rolled  off 
the  porch  and  broke  his  left  arm  in  two  places,  and 
was  most  froze  to  death  when  somebody  found  him 
after  sun-up.  And  when  they  come  to  look  at  that 


Huckleberry  Finn  43 

spare   room   they  had   to   take   soundings  before  they 
could  navigate  it. 

The  judge  he  felt  kind  of  sore.  He  said  he  reckoned 
a  body  could  reform  the  old  man  with  a  shotgun, 
rnaybe,  but  he  didn't  know  no  other  way. 


CHAPTER   VI. 

WELL,  pretty  soon  the  old  man  was  up  and  around 
again,  and  then  he  went  for  Judge  Thatcher  in 
the  courts  to  make  him  give  up  that  money,  and  he 
went  for  me,  too,  for  not  stopping  school.  He  catched 
me  a  couple  of  times  and  thrashed  me,  but  I  went  to 
school  just  the  same,  and  dodged  him  or  outrun  him 
most  of  the  time.  I  didn't  want  to  go  to  school  much 
before,  but  I  reckoned  I'd  go  now  to  spite  pap.  That 
law  trial  was  a  slow  business  —  appeared  like  they 
warn't  ever  .going  to  get  started  on  it;  so  every  now 
and  then  I'd  borrow  two  or  three  dollars  off  of  the 
judge  for  him,  to  keep  from  getting  a  cowhiding. 
Every  time  he  got  money  he  got  drunk ;  and  every 
time  he  got  drunk  he  raised  Cain  around  town ;  and 
every  time  he  raised  Cain  he  got  jailed.  He  was  just 
suited  —  this  kind  of  thing  was  right  in  his  line. 

He  got  to  hanging  around  the  widow's  too  much, 
and  so  she  told  him  at  last  that  if  he  didn't  quit  using 
around  there  she  would  make  trouble  for  him.  Well, 
wasn't  he  mad?  He  said  he  would  show  who  was 
Huck  Finn's  boss.  So  he  watched  out  for  me  one  day 
in  the  spring,  and  catched  me,  and  took  me  up  the 
river  about  three  mile  in  a  skiff,  and  crossed  over  to 
the  Illinois  shore  where  it  was  woody  and  there  warn't 
no  houses  but  an  old  log  hut  in  a  place  where  the 
timber  was  so  thick  you  couldn't  find  it  if  you  didn't 
know  where  it  was. 

(44) 


Huckleberry  Finn  45 

He  kept  me  with  him  all  the  time,  and  I  never  got  a 
chance  to  run  off.  We  lived  in  that  old  cabin,  and  he 
always  locked  the  door  and  put  the  key  under  his  head 
nights.  He  had  a  gun  which  he  had  stole,  I  reckon, 
and  we  fished  and  hunted,  and  that  was  what  we  lived 
on.  Every  little  while  he  locked  me  in  and  went  down 
to  the  store,  three  miles,  to  the  ferry,  and  traded  fish 
and  game  for  whisky,  and  fetched  it  home  and  got 
drunk  and  had  a  good  time,  and  licked  me.  The 
widow  she  found  out  where  I  was  by  and  by,  and  she 
sent  a  man  over  to  try  to  get  hold  of  me ;  but  pap 
drove  him  off  with  the  gun,  and  it  warn't  long  after 
that  till  I  was  used  to  being  where  I  was,  and  liked 
it — all  but  the  cowhide  part. 

It  was  kind  of  !azy  and  jolly,  laying  off  comfortable 
all  day,  smoking  and  fishing,  and  no  books  nor  study. 
Two  months  or  more  run  along,  and  my  clothes  got  to 
be  all  rags  and  dirt,  and  I  didn't  see  how  I'd  ever  got 
to  like  it  so  well  at  the  widow's,  where  you  had  to 
v/ash,  and  eat  on  a  plate,  and  comb  up,  and  go  to  bed 
and  get  up  regular,  and  be  forever  bothering  over  a 
book,  and  have  old  Miss  Watson  pecking  at  you  all  the 
time.  I  didn't  want  to  go  back  no  more.  I  had 
stopped  cussing,  because  the  widow  didn't  like  it;  but 
now  I  took  to  it  again  because  pap  hadn't  no  objec 
tions.  It  was  pretty  good  times  up  in  the  woods 
there,  take  it  all  around. 

But  by  and  by  pap  got  too  handy  with  his  hick'ry, 
and  I  couldn't  stand  it.  I  was  all  over  welts.  He  got 
to  going  away  so  much,  too,  and  locking  me  in.  Once 
he  locked  me  in  and  was  gone  three  days.  It  was 
dreadful  lonesome.  I  judged  he  had  got  drowned, 
and  I  wasn't  ever  going  to  get  out  any  more.  I  was 
scared.  I  made  up  my  mind  I  would  fix  up  some  way 
to  leave  there.  I  had  tried  to  get  out  of  that  cabin 
many  a  time,  but  I  couldn't  find  no  way.  There 


46  Huckleberry  Finn 

warn't  a  window  to  it  big  enough  for  a  dog  to  get 
through.  I  couldn't  get  up  the  chimbly ;  it  was  too 
narrow.  The  door  was  thick,  solid  oak  slabs.  Pap 
was  pretty  careful  not  to  leave  a  knife  or  anything  in 
the  cabin  when  he  was  away;  I  reckon  I  had  hunted 
the  place  over  as  much  as  a  hundred  times;  well,  I 
was  'most  all  the  time  at  it,  because  it  was  about  the 
only  way  to  put  in  the  time.  But  this  time  I  found 
something  at  last;  I  found  an  old  rusty  wood-saw 
without  any  handle;  it  was  laid  in  between  a  rafter 
and  the  clapboards  of  the  roof.  I  greased  it  up  and 
went  to  work.  There  was  an  old  horse-blanket  nailed 
against  the  logs  at  the  far  end  of  the  cabin  behind  the 
table,  to  keep  the  wind  from  blowing  through  the 
chinks  and  putting  the  candle  out.  I  got  under  the 
table  and  raised  the  blanket,  and  went  to  work  to  saw 
a  section  of  the  big  bottom  log  out  —  big  enough  to 
let  me  through.  Well,  it  was  a  good  long  job,  but  I 
was  getting  towards  the  end  of  it  when  I  heard  pap's 
gun  in  the  woods.  I  got  rid  of  the  signs  of  my  work, 
and  dropped  the  blanket  and  hid  my  saw,  and  pretty 
soon  pap  come  in. 

Pap  warn't  in  a  good  humor  —  so  he  was  his  natural 
self.  He  said  he  was  down  town,  and  everything  was 
going  wrong.  His  lawyer  said  he  reckoned  he  would 
win  his  lawsuit  and  get  the  money  if  they  ever  got 
started  on  the  trial ;  but  then  there  was  ways  to  put  it 
off  a  long  time,  and  Judge  Thatcher  knowed  how  to  do 
it.  And  he  said  people  allowed  there' d  be  another 
trial  to  get  me  away  from  him  and  give  me  to  the 
widow  for  my  guardian,  and  they  guessed  it  would  win 
this  time.  This  shook  me  up  considerable,  because  I 
didn't  want  to  go  back  to  the  widow's  any  more  and 
be  so  cramped  up  and  sivilized,  as  they  called  it. 
Then  the  old  man  got  to  cussing,  and  cussed  every 
thing  and  everybody  he  could  think  of,  and  then  cussed 


Huckleberry  Finn  47 

them  all  ever  again  to  make  sure  he  hadn't  skipped 
any,  and  after  that  he  polished  off  with  a  kind  of  a 
general  cuss  all  round,  including  a  considerable  parcel 
of  people  which  he  didn't  know  the  names  of,  and  so 
called  them  what's-his-name  when  he  got  to  them,  and 
went  right  along  with  his  cussing. 

He  said  he  would  like  to  see  the  widow  get  me. 
He  said  he  would  watch  out,  and  if  they  tried  to  come 
any  such  game  on  him  he  knowed  of  a  place  six  or 
seven  mile  off  to  stow  me  in,  where  they  might  hunt 
till  they  dropped  and  they  couldn't  find  me.  That 
made  me  pretty  uneasy  again,  but  only  for  a  minute; 
I  reckoned  I  wouldn't  stay  on  hand  till  he  got  that 
chance. 

The  old  man  made  me  go  to  the  skiff  and  fetch  the 
things  he  had  got.  There  was  a  fifty-pound  sack  of 
corn  meal,  and  a  side  of  bacon,  ammunition,  and  a 
four-gallon  jug  of  whisky,  and  an  old  book  and  two 
newspapers  for  wadding,  besides  some  tow.  I  toted 
up  a  load,  and  went  back  and  set  down  on  the  bow  of 
the  skiff  to  rest.  I  thought  it  all  over,  and  I  reckoned 
I  would  walk  off  with  the  gun  and  some  lines,  and  take 
to  the  woods  when  I  run  away.  I  guessed  I  wouldn't 
stay  in  one  place,  but  just  tramp  right  across  the 
country,  mostly  night  times,  and  hunt  and  fish  to  keep 
alive,  and  so  get  so  far  away  that  the  old  man  nor  the 
widow  couldn't  ever  find  me  any  more.  I  judged  I 
would  saw  out  and  leave  that  night  if  pap  got  drunk 
enough,  and  I  reckoned  he  would.  I  got  so  full  of  it 
I  didn't  notice  how  long  I  was  staying  till  the  old  man 
hollered  and  asked  me  whether  I  was  asleep  or 
drownded. 

I  got  the  things  all  up  to  the  cabin,  and  then  it  was 
about  dark.  While  I  was  cooking  supper  the  old  man 
took  a  swig  or  two  and  got  sort  of  warmed  up,  and 
went  to  ripping  again.  He  had  been  drunk  over  in 


48  Huckleberry  Finn 

town,  and  laid  in  the  gutter  all  night,  and  he  was  a 
sight  to  look  at.  A  body  would  a  thought  he  was 
Adam  —  he  was  just  all  mud.  Whenever  his  liquor 
begun  to  work  he  most  always  went  for  the  govment. 
This  time  he  says: 

"  Call  this  a  govment!  why,  just  look  at  it  and  see 
what  it's  like.  Here's  the  law  a-standing  ready  to  take 
a  man's  son  away  from  him  —  a  man's  own  son,  which 
he  has  had  all  the  trouble  and  all  the  anxiety  and  all 
the  expense  of  raising.  Yes,  just  as  that  man  has  got 
that  son  raised  at  last,  and  ready  to  go  to  work  and 
begin  to  do  suthin'  for  him  and  give  him  a  rest,  the  law 
up  and  goes  for  him.  And  they  call  that  govment ! 
That  ain't  all,  nuther.  The  law  backs  that  old  Judge 
Thatcher  up  and  helps  him  to  keep  me  out  o'  my 
property.  Here's  what  the  law  does:  The  law  takes  a 
man  worth  six  thousand  dollars  and  up'ards,  and  jams 
him  into  an  old  trap  of  a  cabin  like  this,  and  lets  him 
go  round  in  clothes  that  ain't  fitten  for  a  hog.  They 
call  that  govment!  A  man  can't  get  his  rights  in  a 
govment  like  this.  Sometimes  I've  a  mighty  notion  to 
just  leave  the  country  for  good  and  all.  Yes,  and  I 
told  'em  so ;  I  told  old  Thatcher  so  to  his  face.  Lots 
of  'em  heard  me,  and  can  tell  what  I  said.  Says  I, 
for  two  cents  I'd  leave  the  blamed  country  and  never 
come  a-near  it  agin.  Them's  the  very  words.  I  says, 
look  at  my  hat — if  you  call  it  a  hat — but  the  lid 
raises  up  and  the  rest  of  it  goes  down  till  it's  below 
my  chin,  and  then  it  ain't  rightly  a  hat  at  all,  but  more 
like  my  head  was  shoved  up  through  a  jint  o'  stove 
pipe.  Look  at  it,  says  I  —  such  a  hat  for  me  to  wear 
—  one  of  the  wealthiest  men  in  this  town  if  I  could  git 
my  rights. 

"  Oh,  yes,  this  is  a  wonderful  govment,  wonderful. 
Why,  looky  here.  There  was  a  free  nigger  there  from 
Ohio  —  a  mulatter,  most  as  white  as  a  white  man.  He 


Huckleberry  Finn  49 

had  the  whitest  shirt  on  you  ever  see,  too,  and  the 
shiniest  hat;  and  there  ain't  a  man  in  that  town  that's 
got  as  fine  clothes  as  what  he  had ;  and  he  had  a  gold 
watch  and  chain,  and  a  silver-headed  cane  —  the  awful- 
est  old  gray-headed  nabob  in  the  State.  And  what  do 
you  think?  They  said  he  was  a  p'fessor  in  a  college, 
and  could  talk  all  kinds  of  languages,  and  knowed 
everything.  And  that  ain't  the  wust.  They  said  he 
could  vote  when  he  was  at  home.  Well,  that  let  me 
out.  Thinks  I,  what  is  the  country  a-coming  to?  It 
was  'lection  day,  and  I  was  just  about  to  go  and  vote 
myself  if  I  warn't  too  drunk  to  get  there;  but  when 
they  told  me  there  was  a  State  in  this  country  where 
they'd  let  that  nigger  vote,  I  drawed  out.  I  says  I'll 
never  vote  agin.  Them's  the  very  words  I  said;  they 
all  heard  me ;  and  the  country  may  rot  for  all  me  — 
I'll  never  vote  agin  as  long  as  I  live.  And  to  see  the 
cool  way  of  that  nigger  —  why,  he  wouldn't  a  give  me 
the  road  if  I  hadn't  shoved  him  out  o'  the  way.  I 
says  to  the  people,  why  ain't  this  nigger  put  up  at 
auction  and  sold?- — that's  what  I  want  to  know.  And 
what  do  you  reckon  they  said?  Why,  they  said  he 
couldn't  be  sold  till  he'd  been  in  the  State  six  months, 
and  he  hadn't  been  there  that  long  yet.  There,  now  — 
that's  a  specimen.  They  call  that  a  govment  that  can't 
sell  a  free  nigger  till  he's  been  in  the  State  six  months. 
Here's  a  govment  that  calls  itself  a  govment,  and  lets 
on  to  be  a  govment,  and  thinks  it  is  a  govment,  and 
vet's  got  to  set  stock-still  for  six  whole  months  before 
it  can  take  a  hold  of  a  prowling,  thieving,  infernal, 

white-shirted  free  nigger,  and  " 

Pap  was  agoing  on  so  he  never  noticed  where  his 
old  limber  legs  was  taking  him  to,  so  he  went  head  over 
heels  over  the  tub  of  salt  pork  and  barked  both  shins, 
and  the  rest  of  his  speech  was  all  the  hottest  kind  of 
language  —  mostly  hove  at  the  nigger  and  the  gov- 
4 


50  Huckleberry  Finn 

ment,  though  he  give  the  tub  some,  too,  all  along, 
here  and  there.  He  hopped  around  the  cabin  con 
siderable,  first  on  one  leg  and  then  on  the  other,  hold 
ing  first  one  shin  and  then  the  other  one,  and  at  last  he 
let  out  with  his  left  foot  all  of  a  sudden  and  fetched 
the  tub  a  rattling  kick.  But  it  warn't  good  judgment, 
because  that  was  the  boot  that  had  a  couple  of  his  toes 
leaking  out  of  the  front  end  of  it;  so  now  he  raised  a 
howl  that  fairly  made  a  body's  hair  raise,  and  down  he 
went  in  the  dirt,  and  rolled  there,  and  held  his  toes ; 
and  the  cussing  he  done  then  laid  over  anything  he 
had  ever  done  previous.  He  said  so  his  own  self  after 
wards.  He  had  heard  old  Sowberry  Hagan  in  his 
best  days,  and  he  said  it  laid  over  him,  too;  but  I 
reckon  that  was  sort  of  piling  it  on,  maybe. 

After  supper  pap  took  the  jug,  and  said  he  had 
enough  whisky  there  for  two  drunks  and  one  delirium 
tremens.  That  was  always  his  word.  I  judged  he 
would  be  blind  drunk  in  about  an  hour,  and  then  I 
would  steal  the  key,  or  saw  myself  out,  one  or  t'other. 
He  drank  and  drank,  and  tumbled  down  on  his 
blankets  by  and  by;  but  luck  didn't  run  my  way.  He 
didn't  go  sound  asleep,  but  was  uneasy.  He  groaned 
and  moaned  and  thrashed  around  this  way  and  that  for 
a  long  time.  At  last  I  got  so  sleepy  I  couldn't  keep 
my  eyes  open  all  I  could  do,  and  so  before  I  knowed 
what  I  was  about  I  was  sound  asleep,  and  the  candle 
burning. 

I  don't  know  how  long  I  was  asleep,  but  all  of  a 
sudden  there  was  an  awful  scream  and  I  was  up. 
There  was  pap  looking  wild,  and  skipping  around  every 
which  way  and  yelling  about  snakes.  He  said  they 
was  crawling  up  his  legs ;  and  then  he  would  give  a 
jump  and  scream,  and  say  one  had  bit  him  on  the 
cheek  —  but  I  couldn't  see  no  snakes.  He  started 
and  run  round  and  round  the  cabin,  hollering  "Take 


Huckleberry  Finn  51 

him  off!  take  him  off!  he's  biting  me  on  the  neck!" 
I  never  see  a  man  look  so  wild  in  the  eyes.  Pretty 
soon  he  was  all  fagged  out,  and  fell  down  panting; 
then  he  rolled  over  and  over  wonderful  fast,  kicking 
things  every  which  way,  and  striking  and  grabbing  at 
the  air  with  his  hands,  and  screaming  and  saying  there 
was  devils  a-hold  of  him.  He  wore  out  by  and  by, 
and  laid  still  a  while,  moaning.  Then  he  laid  stiller, 
and  didn't  make  a  sound.  I  could  hear  the  owls  and 
the  wolves  away  off  in  the  woods,  and  it  seemed  terri 
ble  still.  He  was  laying  over  by  the  corner.  By  and 
by  he  raised  up  part  way  and  listened,  with  his  head 
to  one  side.  He  says,  very  low: 

**  Tramp  —  tramp  —  tramp  ;  that's  the  dead  ;  tramp 
—  tramp  —  tramp;  they're  coming  after  me;  but  I 
won't  go.  Oh,  they're  here!  don't  touch  me  —  don't! 
hands  off  —  they're  cold;  let  go.  Oh,  let  a  poor  devil 


alone 


Then  he  went  down  on  all  fours  and  crawled  off, 
begging  them  to  let  him  alone,  and  he  rolled  himself 
up  in  his  blanket  and  wallowed  in  under  the  old  pine 
table,  still  a-begging;  and  then  he  went  to  crying.  I 
could  hear  him  through  the  blanket. 

By  and  by  he  rolled  out  and  jumped  up  on  his  feet 
looking  wild,  and  he  see  me  and  went  for  me.  He 
chased  me  round  and  round  the  place  with  a  clasp- 
knife,  calling  me  the  Angel  of  Death,  and  saying  he 
would  kill  me,  and  then  I  couldn't  come  for  him  no 
more.  I  begged,  and  told  him  I  was  only  Huck;  but 
he  laughed  such  a  screechy  laugh,  and  roared  and 
cussed,  and  kept  on  chasing  me  up.  Once  when  I 
turned  short  and  dodged  under  his  arm  he  made  a 
grab  and  got  me  by  the  jacket  between  my  shoulders, 
and  I  thought  I  was  gone ;  but  I  slid  out  of  the  jacket 
quick  as  lightning,  and  saved  myself.  Pretty  soon  he 
was  all  tired  out,  and  dropped  down  with  his  back 


52  Huckleberry  Finn 

against  the  door,  and  said  he  would  rest  a  minute  and 
then  kill  me.  He  put  his  knife  under  him,  and  said 
he  would  sleep  and  get  strong,  and  then  he  would  see 
who  was  who. 

So  he  dozed  off  pretty  soon.  By  and  by  I  got  the 
old  split-bottom  chair  and  clumb  up  as  easy  as  I  could, 
not  to  make  any  noise,  and  got  down  the  gun.  I 
slipped  the  ramrod  down  it  to  make  sure  it  was  loaded, 
and  then  I  laid  it  across  the  turnip  barrel,  pointing 
towards  pap,  and  set  down  behind  it  to  wait  for  him  to 
stir.  And  how  slow  and  still  the  time  did  drag  along. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

it  f^lT  up  !     What  you  'bout?" 

\J  I  opened  my  eyes  and  looked  around,  trying 
to  make  out  where  I  was.  It  was  after  sun-up,  and  I 
had  been  sound  asleep.  Pap  was  standing  over  me 
looking  sour  —  and  sick,  too.  He  says: 

"  What  you  doin'  with  this  gun?" 

I  judged  he  didn't  know  nothing  about  what  he  had 
been  doing,  so  I  says : 

"  Somebody  tried  to  get  in,  so  I  was  laying  for 
him." 

'*  Why  didn't  you  roust  me  out?" 

"  Well,  I  tried  to,  but  I  couldn't;  I  couldn't  budge 
you." 

"Well,  all  right.  Don't  stand  there  palavering  all 
day,  but  out  with  you  and  see  if  there's  a  fish  on  the 
lines  for  breakfast.  I'll  be  along  in  a  minute." 

He  unlocked  the  door,  and  I  cleared  out  up  the 
river-bank.  I  noticed  some  pieces  of  limbs  and  such 
things  floating  down,  and  a  sprinkling  of  bark;  so  I 
knowed  the  river  had  begun  to  rise.  I  reckoned  I 
would  have  great  times  now  if  I  was  over  at  the  town. 
The  June  rise  used  to  be  always  luck  for  me ;  because 
as  soon  as  that  rise  begins  here  comes  cordwood  float 
ing  down,  and  pieces  of  log  rafts  —  sometimes  a  dozen 
logs  together ;  so  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  catch  them 
and  sell  them  to  the  wood-yards  and  the  sawmill. 

I  went  along  up  the  bank  with  one  eye  out  for  pap 

(53) 


54  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  t'other  one  out  for  what  the  rise  might  fetch 
along.  Well,  all  at  once  here  comes  a  canoe ;  just  a 
beauty,  too,  about  thirteen  or  fourteen  foot  long, 
riding  high  like  a  duck.  I  shot  head-first  off  of  the 
bank  like  a  frog,  clothes  and  all  on,  and  struck  out  for 
the  canoe.  I  just  expected  there'd  be  somebody  lay 
ing  down  in  it,  because  people  often  done  that  to  fool 
folks,  and  when  a  chap  had  pulled  a  skiff  out  most  to 
it  they'd  raise  up  and  laugh  at  him.  But  it  warn't  so 
this  time.  It  was  a  drift-canoe  sure  enough,  and  I 
dumb  in  and  paddled  her  ashore.  Thinks  I,  the  old 
man  will  be  glad  when  he  sees  this  —  she's  worth  ten 
dollars.  But  when  I  got  to  shore  pap  wasn't  in  sight 
yet,  and  as  I  was  running  her  into  a  little  creek  like  a 
gully,  all  hung  over  with  vines  and  willows,  I  struck 
another  idea:  I  judged  I'd  hide  her  good,  and  then, 
'stead  of  taking  to  the  woods  when  I  run  off,  I'd  go 
down  the  river  about  fifty  mile  and  camp  in  one  place 
for  good,  and  not  have  such  a  rough  time  tramping  on 
foot. 

It  was  pretty  close  to  the  shanty,  and  I  thought  I 
heard  the  old  man  coming  all  the  time ;  but  I  got  her 
hid ;  and  then  I  out  and  looked  around  a  bunch  of 
willows,  and  there  was  the  old  man  down  the  path 
a  piece  just  drawing  a  bead  on  a  bird  with  his  gun.  So 
he  hadn't  seen  anything. 

When  he  got  along  I  was  hard  at  it  taking  up  a 
"  trot "  line.  He  abused  me  a  little  for  being  so  slow; 
but  I  told  him  I  fell  in  the  river,  and  that  was  what 
made  me  so  long.  I  knowed  he  would  see  I  was  wet, 
and  then  he  would  be  asking  questions.  We  got  five 
catfish  off  the  lines  and  went  home. 

While  we  laid  off  after  breakfast  to  sleep  up,  both  of 
us  being  about  wore  out,  I  got  to  thinking  that  if  I  could 
fix  up  some  way  to  keep  pap  and  the  widow  from  trying 
to  follow  me,  it  would  be  a  certainer  thing  than  trust- 


Huckleberry  Finn  55 

ing  to  luck  to  get  far  enough  off  before  they  missed 
me;  you  see,  all  kinds  of  things  might  happen.  Well, 
I  didn't  see  no  way  for  a  while,  but  by  and  by  pap 
raised  up  a  minute  to  drink  another  barrel  of  water, 
and  he  says: 

"  Another  time  a  man  comes  a-prowling  round  here 
you  roust  me  out,  you  hear?  That  man  warn't  here 
for  no  good.  I'd  a  shot  him.  Next  time  you  roust 
me  out,  you  hear?" 

Then  he  dropped  down  and  went  to  sleep  again ;  but 
what  he  had  been  saying  give  me  the  very  idea  I 
wanted.  I  says  to  myself,  I  can  fix  it  now  so  nobody 
won't  think  of  following  me. 

About  twelve  o'clock  we  turned  out  and  went  along 
up  the  bank.  The  river  was  coming  up  pretty  fast, 
and  lots  of  driftwood  going  by  on  the  rise.  By  and 
by  along  comes  part  of  a  log  raft — nine  logs  fast 
together.  We  went  out  with  the  skiff  and  towed  it 
ashore.  Then  we  had  dinner.  Anybody  but  pap 
would  a  waited  and  seen  the  day  through,  so  as  to 
catch  more  stuff;  but  that  warn't  pap's  style.  Nine 
logs  was  enough  for  one  time ;  he  must  shove  right 
over  to  town  and  sell.  So  he  locked  me  in  and  took 
the  skiff,  and  started  off  towing  the  raft  about  half- 
past  three.  I  judged  he  wouldn't  come  back  that 
night.  I  waited  till  I  reckoned  he  had  got  a  good 
start ;  then  I  out  with  my  saw,  and  went  to  work  on 
that  log  again.  Before  he  was  t'other  side  of  the  river 
I  was  out  of  the  hole ;  him  and  his  raft  was  just  a 
speck  on  the  water  away  off  yonder. 

I  took  the  sack  of  corn  meal  and  took  it  to  where 
the  canoe  was  hid,  and  shoved  the  vines  and  branches 
apart  and  put  it  in ;  then  I  done  the  same  with  the 
side  of  bacon ;  then  the  whisky-jug.  I  took  all  the 
coffee  and  sugar  there  was,  and  all  the  ammunition;  I 
took  the  wadding;  I  took  the  bucket  and  gourd;  I 


56  Huckleberry  Finn 

took  a  dipper  and  a  tin  cup,  and  my  old  saw  and  two 
blankets,  and  the  skillet  and  the  coffee-pot.  I  took 
fish-lines  and  matches  and  other  things  —  everything 
that  was  worth  a  cent.  I  cleaned  out  the  place.  I 
wanted  an  axe,  but  there  wasn't  any,  only  the  one  out 
at  the  woodpile,  and  I  knowed  why  I  was  going  to  leave 
that.  I  fetched  out  the  gun,  and  now  I  was  done. 

I  had  wore  the  ground  a  good  deal  crawling  out  of 
the  hole  and  dragging  out  so  many  things.  So  I 
fixed  that  as  good  as  I  could  from  the  outside  by 
scattering  dust  on  the  place,  which  covered  up  the 
smoothness  and  the  sawdust.  Then  I  fixed  the  piece 
of  log  back  into  its  place,  and  put  two  rocks  under  it 
and  one  against  it  to  hold  it  there,  for  it  was  bent  up 
at  that  place  and  didn't  quite  touch  ground.  If  you 
stood  four  or  five  foot  away  and  didn't  know  it  was 
sawed,  you  wouldn't  never  notice  it;  and  besides,  this 
was  the  back  of  the  cabin,  and  it  warn't  likely  anybody 
would  go  fooling  around  there. 

It  was  all  grass  clear  to  the  canoe,  so  I  hadn't  left  a 
track.  I  followed  around  to  see.  I  stood  on  the 
bank  and  looked  out  over  the  river.  All  safe.  So  I 
took  the  gun  and  went  up  a  piece  into  the  woods,  and 
was  hunting  around  for  some  birds  when  I  see  a  wild 
pig ;  hogs  soon  went  wild  in  them  bottoms  after  they 
had  got  away  from  the  prairie  farms.  I  shot  this  fel 
low  and  took  him  into  camp. 

I  took  the  axe  and  smashed  in  the  door.  I  beat  it 
and  hacked  it  considerable  a-doing  it.  I  fetched  the 
pig  in,  and  took  him  back  nearly  to  the  table  and 
hacked  into  his  throat  with  the  axe,  and  laid  him  down 
on  the  ground  to  bleed ;  I  say  ground  because  it  was 
ground  —  hard  packed,  and  no  boards.  Well,  next  I 
took  an  old  sack  and  put  a  lot  of  big  rocks  in  it  —  all  I 
could  drag — and  I  started  it  from  the  pig,  and  dragged 
it  to  the  door  and  through  the  woods  down  to  the  river 


Huckleberry  Finn  57 

and  dumped  it  in,  and  down  it  sunk,  out  of  sight. 
You  could  easy  see  that  something  had  been  dragged 
over  the  ground.  I  did  wish  Tom  Sawyer  was  there; 
I  knowed  he  would  take  an  interest  in  this  kind  of 
business,  and  throw  in  the  fancy  touches.  Nobody 
could  spread  himself  like  Tom  Sawyer  in  such  a  thing 
as  that. 

Well,  last  I  pulled  out  some  of  my  hair,  and  blooded 
the  axe  good,  and  stuck  it  on  the  back  side,  and  slung 
the  axe  in  the  corner.  Then  I  took  up  the  pig  and^held 
him  to  my  breast  with  my  jacket  (so  he  couldn't  drip) 
till  I  got  a  good  piece  below  the  house  and  then 
dumped  him  into  the  river.  Now  I  thought  of  some 
thing  else.  So  I  went  and  got  the  bag  of  meal 
and  my  eld  saw  out  of  the  canoe,  and  fetched 
them  to  the  house.  I  took  the  bag  to  where  it 
used  to  stand,  and  ripped  a  hole  in  the  bottom  of  it 
with  the  saw,  for  there  warn't  no  knives  and  forks  on 
the  place  —  pap  done  everything  with  his  clasp-knife 
about  the  cooking.  Then  I  carried  the  sack  about  a 
hundred  yards  across  the  grass  and  through  the  willows 
east  of  the  house,  to  a  shallow  lake  that  was  five  mile 
wide  and  full  of  rushes  —  and  ducks  too,  you  might 
say,  in  the  season.  There  was  a  slough  or  a  creek 
leading  out  of  it  on  the  other  side  that  went  miles  away, 
I  don't  know  where,  but  it  didn't  go  to  the  river.  The 
meal  sifted  out  and  made  a  little  track  all  the  way  to 
the  lake.  I  dropped  pap's  whetstone  there  too,  so  as 
to  look  like  it  had  been  done  by  accident.  Then  I  tied 
up  the  rip  in  the  meal  sack  with  a  string,  so  it  wouldn't 
leak  no  more,  and  took  it  and  my  saw  to  the  canoe 
again. 

It  was  about  dark  now;  so  I  dropped  the  canoe 
down  the  river  under  some  willows  that  hung  over  the 
bank,  and  waited  for  the  moon  to  rise.  I  made  fast  to 
a  willow;  then  I  took  a  bite  to  eat,  and  by  and  by  laid 


58  Huckleberry  Finn 

down  in  the  canoe  to  smoke  a  pipe  and  lay  out  a  plan. 
I  says  to  myself,  they'll  follow  the  track  of  that  sack 
ful  of  rocks  to  the  shore  and  then  drag  the  river  for 
me.  And  they'll  follow  that  meal  track  to  the  lake 
and  go  browsing  down  the  creek  that  leads  out  of  it  to 
find  the  robbers  that  killed  me  and  took  the  things. 
They  won't  ever  hunt  the  river  for  anything  but  my 
dead  carcass.  They'll  soon  get  tired  of  that,  and 
won't  bother  no  more  about  me.  All  right;  I  can 
stop  anywhere  I  want  to.  Jackson's  Island  is  good 
enough  for  me;  I  know  that  island  pretty  well,  and 
nobody  ever  comes  there.  And  then  I  can  paddle 
over  to  town  nights,  and  slink  around  and  pick  up 
things  I  want.  Jackson's  Island's  the  place. 

I  was  pretty  tired,  and  the  first  thing  I  knowed  I 
was  asleep.  When  I  woke  up  I  didn't  know  where  I 
was  for  a  minute.  I  set  up  and  looked  around,  a  little 
scared.  Then  I  remembered.  The  river  looked  miles 
and  miles  across.  The  moon  was  so  bright  I  could  a 
counted  the  drift  logs  that  went  a-slipping  along,  black 
and  still,  hundreds  of  yards 'out  from  shore.  Every 
thing  was  dead  quiet,  and  it  looked  late,  and  smelt 
late.  You  know  what  I  mean  —  I  don't  know  the 
words  to  put  it  in. 

I  took  a  good  gap  and  a  stretch,  and  was  just  going 
to  unhitch  and  start  when  I  heard  a  sound  away  over 
the  water.  I  listened.  Pretty  soon  I  made  it  out.  It 
was  that  dull  kind  of  a  regular  sound  that  comes  from 
oars  working  in  rowlocks  when  it's  a  still  night.  I 
peeped  out  through  the  willow  branches,  and  there  it 
was  —  a  skiff,  away  across  the  water.  I  couldn't  tell 
how  many  was  in  it.  It  kept  a-coming,  and  when  it 
was  abreast  of  me  I  see  there  warn't  but  one  man  in  it. 
Think' s  I,  maybe  it's  pap,  though  I  warn't  expecting 
him.  He  dropped  below  me  with  the  current,  and 
by  and  by  he,  came  a-swinging  up  shore  in  the  easy 


Huckleberry  Finn  59 

water,  and  he  went  by  so  close  I  could  a  reached  out 
the  gun  and  touched  him.  Well,  it  was  pap,  sure 
enough  —  and  sober,  too,  by  the  way  he  laid  his  oars. 

I  didn't  lose  no  time.  The  next  minute  I  was  a- 
spinning  down  stream  soft  but  quick  in  the  shade  of 
the  bank.  I  made  two  mile  and  a  half,  and  then 
struck  out  a  quarter  of  a  mile  or  more  towards  the 
middle  of  the  river,  because  pretty  soon  I  would  be 
passing  the  ferry  landing,  and  people  might  see  me 
and  hail  me.  I  got  out  amongst  the  driftwood,  and 
then  laid  down  in  the  bottom  of  the  canoe  and  let  her 
float.  I  laid  there,  and  had  a  good  rest  and  a  smoke 
out  of  my  pipe,  looking  away  into  the  sky;  not  a 
cloud  in  it.  The  sky  looks  ever  so  deep  when  you  lay 
down  on  your  back  in  the  moonshine ;  I  never  knowed 
it  before.  And  how  far  a  body  can  hear  on  the  water 
such  nights !  I  heard  people  talking  at  the  ferry  land 
ing.  I  heard  what  they  said,  too  —  every  word  of  it. 
One  man  said  it  was  getting  towards  the  long  days  and 
the  short  nights  now.  T'other  one  said  this  warn't 
one  of  the  short  ones,  he  reckoned  —  and  then  they 
laughed,  and  he  said  it  over  again,  and  they  laughed 
again;  then  they  waked  up  another  fellow  and  told 
him,  and  laughed,  but  he  didn't  laugh;  he  ripped  out 
something  brisk,  and  said  let  him  alone.  The  first 
fellow  said  he  'lowed  to  tell  it  to  his  old  woman  —  she 
would  think  it  was  pretty  good;  but  he  said  that 
warn't  nothing  to  some  things  he  had  said  in  his  time. 
I  heard  one  man  say  it  was  nearly  three  o'clock,  and 
he  hoped  daylight  wouldn't  wait  more  than  about  a 
week  longer.  After  that  the  talk  got  further  and 
further  away,  and  I  couldn't  make  out  the  words  any 
more;  but  I  could  hear  the  mumble,  and  now  and  then 
a  laugh,  too,  but  it  seemed  a  long  ways  off. 

I  was  away  below  the  ferry  now.  I  rose  up,  and 
there  was  Jackson's  Island,  about  two  mile  and  a  half 


60  Huckleberry  Finn 

down  stream,  heavy  timbered  and  standing  up  out  of 
the  middle  of  the  river,  big  and  dark  and  solid,  like  a 
steamboat  without  any  lights.  There  warn't  any  signs 
of  the  bar  at  the  head  —  it  was  all  under  water  now. 

It  didn't  take  me  long  to  get  there.  I  shot  past  the 
head  at  a  ripping  rate,  the  current  was  so  swift,  and 
then  I  got  into  the  dead  water  and  landed  on  the  side 
towards  the  Illinois  shore.  I  run  the  canoe  into  a  deep 
dent  in  the  bank  that  I  knowed  about ;  I  had  to  part 
the  willow  branches  to  get  in ;  and  when  I  made  fast 
nobody  could  a  seen  the  canoe  from  the  outside. 

I  went  up  and  set  down  on  a  log  at  the  head  of  the 
island,  and  looked  out  on  the  big  river  and  the  black 
driftwood  and  away  over  to  the  town,  three  mile 
away,  where  there  was  three  or  four  lights  twinkling. 
A  monstrous  big  lumber-raft  was  about  a  mile  up 
stream,  coming  along  down,  with  a  lantern  in  the 
middle  of  it.  I  watched  it  come  creeping  down,  and 
when  it  was  most  abreast  of  where  I  stood  I  heard  a 
man  say,  "  Stern  oars,  there!  heave  her  head  to  stab- 
board  !"  I  heard  that  just  as  plain  as  if  the  man  was 
by  my  side. 

There  was  a  little  gray  in  the  sky  now;  so  I  stepped 
into  the  woods,  and  laid  down  for  a  nap  before  break 
fast. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  sun  was  up  so  high  when  I  waked  that  I  judged 
it  was  after  eight  o'clock.  I  laid  there  in  the 
grass  and  the  cool  shade  thinking  about  things,  and 
feeling  rested  and  ruther  comfortable  and  satisfied.  I 
could  see  the  sun  out  at  one  or  two  holes,  but  mostly 
it  was  big  trees  all  about,  and  gloomy  in  there  amongst 
them.  There  was  freckled  places  on  the  ground  where 
the  light  sifted  down  through  the  leaves,  and  the 
freckled  places  swapped  about  a  little,  showing  there 
was  a  little  breeze  up  there.  A  couple  of  squirrels  set 
on  a  limb  and  jabbered  at  me  very  friendly. 

I  was  powerful  lazy  and  comfortable  —  didn't  want 
to  get  up  and  cook  breakfast.  Well,  I  was  dozing  off 
again  when  I  thinks  I  hears  a  deep  sound  of  "  boom  !" 
away  up  the  river.  I  rouses  up,  and  rests  on  rny  elbow 
and  listens;  pretty  soon  I  hears  it  again.  I  hopped 
up,  and  went  and  looked  out  at  a  hole  in  the  leaves, 
and  I  see  a  bunch  of  smoke  laying  on  the  water  a  long 
ways  up  —  about  abreast  the  ferry.  And  there  was 
the  ferryboat  full  of  people  floating  along  down.  I 
knowed  what  was  the  matter  now.  "  Boom  !"  I  see 
the  white  smoke  squirt  out  of  the  ferryboat's  side. 
You  see,  they  was  firing  cannon  over  the  water,  trying 
to  make  my  carcass  come  to  the  top. 

I  was  pretty  hungry,  but  it  warn't  going  to  do  for 
me  to  start  a  fire,  because  they  might  see  the  smoke. 
So  I  set  there  and  watched  the  cannon-smoke  and 

(61) 


62  Huckleberry  Finn 

listened  to  the  boom.  The  river  was  a  mile  wide  there, 
and  it  always  looks  pretty  on  a  summer  morning — so 
I  was  having  a  good  enough  time  seeing  them  hunt  for 
my  remainders  if  I  only  had  a  bite  to  eat.  Well,  then 
I  happened  to  think  how  they  always  put  quicksilver 
in  loaves  of  bread  and  float  them  off,  because  they 
always  go  right  to  the  drownded  carcass  and  stop 
there.  So,  says  I,  I'll  keep  a  lookout,  and  if  any  of 
them's  floating  around  after  me  I'll  give  them  a  show. 
I  changed  to  the  Illinois  edge  of  the  island  to  see  what 
luck  I  could  have,  and  I  warn't  disappointed.  A  big 
double  loaf  come  along,  and  I  most  got  it  with  a  long 
stick,  but  my  foot  slipped  and  she  floated  out  further. 
Of  course  I  was  where  the  current  set  in  the  closest  to 
the  shore  —  I  knowed  enough  for  that.  But  by  and 
by  along  comes  another  one,  and  this  time  I  won.  I 
took  out  the  plug  and  shook  out  the  little  dab  of  quick 
silver,  and  set  my  teeth  in.  It  was  "  baker's  bread" 
—  what  the  quality  eat;  none  of  your  low-down 
corn-pone. 

I  got  a  good  place  amongst  the  leaves,  and  set  there 
on  a  log,  munching  the  bread  and  watching  the  ferry 
boat,  and  very  well  satisfied.  And  then  something 
struck  me.  I  says,  now  I  reckon  the  widow  or  the 
parson  or  somebody  prayed  that  this  bread  would  find 
me,  and  here  it  has  gone  and  done  it.  So  there  ain't 
no  doubt  but  there  is  something  in  that  thing  —  that  is, 
there's  something  in  it  when  a  body  like  the  widow  or 
the  parson  prays,  but  it  don't  work  for  me,  and  I 
reckon  it  don't  work  for  only  just  the  right  kind. 

I  lit  a  pipe  and  had  a  good  long  smoke,  and  went 
on  watching.  The  ferryboat  was  floating  with  the 
current,  and  I  allowed  I'd  have  a  chance  to  see  who 
was  aboard  when  she  come  along,  because  she  would 
come  in  close,  where  the  bread  did.  When  she'd  got 
pretty  well  along  down  towards  me,  I  put  out  my  pipe 


Huckleberry  Finn  63 

and  went  to  where  I  fished  out  the  bread,  and  laid 
down  behind  a  log  on  the  bank  in  a  little  open  place. 
Where  the  log  forked  I  could  peep  through. 

By  and  by  she  come  along,  and  she  drifted  in  so 
close  that  they  could  a  run  out  a  plank  and  walked 
ashore.  Most  everybody  was  on  the  boat.  Pap,  and 
Judge  Thatcher,  and  Bessie  Thatcher,  and  Jo  Harper, 
and  Tom  Sawyer,  and  his  old  Aunt  Polly,  and  Sid  and 
Mary,  and  plenty  more.  Everybody  was  talking  about 
the  murder,  but  the  captain  broke  in  and  says : 

' '  Look  sharp,  now;  the  current  sets  in  the  closest 
here,  and  maybe  he's  washed  ashore  and  got  tangled 
amongst  the  brush  at  the  water's  edge.  I  hope  so, 
anyway." 

"  I  didn't  hope  so.  They  all  crowded  up  and  leaned 
over  the  rails,  nearly  in  my  face,  and  kept  still,  watch 
ing  with  all  their  might.  I  could  see  them  first-rate, 
but  they  couldn't  see  me.  Then  the  captain  sung  out: 

"  Stand  away!"  and  the  cannon  let  off  such  a  blast 
right  before  me  that  it  made  me  deef  with  the  noise  and 
pretty  near  blind  with  the  smoke,  and  I  judged  I  was 
gone.  If  they'd  a  had  some  bullets  in,  I  reckon 
they'd  a  got  the  corpse  they  was  after.  Well,  I  see  I 
warn't  hurt,  thanks  to  goodness.  The  boat  floated  on 
and  went  out  of  sight  around  the  shoulder  of  the  island. 
I  could  hear  the  booming  now  and  then,  further  and 
further  off,  and  by  and  by,  after  an  hour,  I  didn't  hear 
it  no  more.  The  island  was  three  mile  long.  I  judged 
they  had  got  to  the  foot,  and  was  giving  it  up.  But 
they  didn't  yet  a  while.  They  turned  around  the  foot 
of  the  island  and  started  up  the  channel  on  the  Mis 
souri  side,  under  steam,  and  booming  once  in  a  while 
as  they  went.  I  crossed  over  to  that  side  and  watched 
them.  When  they  got  abreast  the  head  of  the  island 
they  quit  shooting  and  dropped  over  to  the  Missouri 
shore  and  went  home  to  the  town. 


64  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  knowed  I  was  all  right  now.  Nobody  else  would 
come  a-hunting  after  me.  I  got  my  traps  out  of  the 
canoe  and  made  me  a  nice  camp  in  the  thick  woods.  I 
made  a  kind  of  a  tent  out  of  my  blankets  to  put  my 
things  under  so  the  rain  couldn't  get  at  them.  I 
catched  a  catfish  and  haggled  him  open  with  my  saw, 
and  towards  sundown  I  started  my  camp  fire  and  had 
supper.  Then  I  set  out  a  line  to  catch  some  fish  for 
breakfast. 

When  it  was  dark  I  set  by  my  camp  fire  smoking, 
and  feeling  pretty  well  satisfied ;  but  by  and  by  it  got 
sort  of  lonesome,  and  so  I  went  and  set  on  the  bank 
and  listened  to  the  current  swashing  along,  and  counted 
the  stars  and  drift  logs  and  rafts  that  come  down,  and 
then  went  to  bed;  there  ain't  no  better  way  to  put  in 
time  when  you  are  lonesome;  you  can't  stay  so,  you 
soon  get  over  it. 

And  so  for  three  days  and  nights.  No  difference  — 
just  the  same  thing.  But  the  next  day  I  went  explor 
ing  around  down  through  the  island.  I  was  boss  of  it; 
it  all  belonged  to  me,  so  to  say,  and  I  wanted  to  know 
all  about  it;  but  mainly  I  wanted  to  put  in  the  time. 
I  found  plenty  strawberries,  ripe  and  prime;  and  green 
summer  grapes,  and  green  razberries;  and  the  green 
blackberries  was  just  beginning  to  show.  They  would 
all  come  handy  by  and  by,  I  judged. 

Well,  I  went  fooling  along  in  the  deep  woods  till  I 
judged  I  warn't  far  from  the  foot  of  the  island.  I  had 
my  gun  along,  but  I  hadn't  shot  nothing;  it  was  for 
protection;  thought  I  would  kill  some  game  nigh 
home.  About  this  time  I  mighty  near  stepped  on  a 
good-sized  snake,  and  it  went  sliding  off  through  the 
grass  and  flowers,  and  I  after  it,  trying  to  get  a  shot  at 
it.  I  clipped  along,  and  all  of  a  sudden  I  bounded 
right  on  to  the  ashes  of  a  camp  fire  that  was  stiU 
smoking. 


Huckleberry  Finn  65 

My  heart  jumped  up  amongst  my  lungs.  I  never 
waited  for  to  look  further,  but  uncocked  my  gun  and 
went  sneaking  back  on  my  tiptoes  as  fast  as  ever  I 
could.  Every  now  and  then  I  stopped  a  second  amongst 
the  thick  leaves  and  listened,  but  my  breath  come  so 
hard  I  couldn't  hear  nothing  else.  I  slunk  along  an 
other  piece  further,  then  listened  again;  and  so  on, 
and  so  on.  If  I  see  a  stump,  I  took  it  for  a  man;  if  I 
trod  on  a  stick  and  broke  it,  it  made  me  feel  like  a 
person  had  cut  one  of  my  breaths  in  two  and  I  only 
got  half,  and  the  short  half,  too. 

When  I  got  to  camp  I  warn't  feeling  very  brash, 
there  warn't  much  sand  in  my  craw;  but  I  says,  this 
ain't  no  time  to  be  fooling  around.  So  I  got  all  my 
traps  into  my  canoe  again  so  as  to  have  them  out  of 
sight,  and  I  put  out  the  fire  and  scattered  the  ashes 
around  to  look  like  an  old  last  year's  camp,  and  then 
dumb  a  tree. 

I  reckon  I  was  up  in  the  tree  two  hours ;  but  I 
didn't  see  nothing,  I  didn't  hear  nothing — I  only 
thought  I  heard  and  seen  as  much  as  a  thousand 
things.  Well,  I  couldn't  stay  up  there  forever;  so  at 
last  I  got  down,  but  I  kept  in  the  thick  woods  and  on 
the  lookout  all  the  time.  All  I  could  get  to  eat  was 
berries  and  what  was  left  over  from  breakfast. 

By  the  time  it  was  night  I  was  pretty  hungry.  So 
when  it  was  good  and  dark  I  slid  out  from  shore  before 
moonrise  and  paddled  over  to  the  Illinois  bank  —  about 
a  quarter  of  a  mile.  I  went  out  in  the  woods  and 
cooked  a  supper,  and  I  had  about  made  up  my  mind 
I  would  stay  there  all  night  when  I  hear  a  plunkety- 
plunky  plunkety -plunk  y  and  says  to  myself,  horses 
coming;  and  next  I  hear  people's  voices.  I  got 
everything  into  the  canoe  as  quick  as  I  could,  and  then 
went  creeping  through  the  woods  to  see  what  I  could 
find  out.  I  hadn't  got  far  when  I  hear  a  man  say: 
5 


66  Huckleberry  Finn 

' '  We  better  camp  here  if  we  can  find  a  good  place ; 
the  horses  is  about  beat  out.  Let's  look  around." 

I  didn't  wait,  but  shoved  out  and  paddled  away 
easy.  I  tied  up  in  the  old  place,  and  reckoned  I  would 
sleep  in  the  canoe. 

I  didn't  sleep  much.  I  couldn't,  somehow,  for 
thinking.  And  every  time  I  waked  up  I  thought 
somebody  had  me  by  the  neck.  So  the  sleep  didn't 
do  me  no  good.  By  and  by  I  says  to  myself,  I  can't 
live  this  way;  I'm  a-going  to  find  out  who  it  is  that's 
here  on  the  island  with  me;  I'll  find  it  out  or  bust. 
Well,  I  felt  better  right  off. 

So  I  took  my  paddle  and  slid  out  from  shore  just  a 
step  or  two,  and  then  let  the  canoe  drop  along  down 
amongst  the  shadows.  The  moon  was  shining,  and  out 
side  of  the  shadows  it  made  it  most  as  light  as  day.  I 
poked  along  well  on  to  an  hour,  everything  still  as 
rocks  and  sound  asleep.  Well,  by  this  time  I  was 
most  down  to  the  foot  of  the  island.  A  little  ripply, 
cool  breeze  begun  to  blow,  and  that  was  as  good  as 
saying  the  night  v/as  about  done.  I  give  her  a  turn 
with  the  paddle  and  brung  her  nose  to  shore ;  then  I 
got  my  gun  and  slipped  out  and  into  the  edge  of  the 
woods.  I  sat  down  there  on  a  log,  and  looked  out 
through  the  leaves.  I  see  the  moon  go  off  watch,  and 
the  darkness  begin  to  blanket  the  river.  But  in  a  little 
while  I  see  a  pale  streak  over  the  treetops,  and  knowed 
the  day  was  coming.  So  I  took  my  gun  and  slipped 
off  towards  where  I  had  run  across  that  camp  fire, 
stopping  every  minute  or  two  to  listen.  But  I  hadn't 
no  luck  somehow;  I  couldn't  seem  to  find  the  place. 
But  by  and  by,  sure  enough,  I  catched  a  glimpse  of 
fire  away  through  the  trees.  I  went  for  it,  cautious 
and  slow.  By  and  by  I  was  close  enough  to  have  a 
look,  and  there  laid  a  man  on  the  ground.  It  most 
give  me  the  fantods.  He  had  a  blanket  around  his 


Huckleberry  Finn  67 

head,  and  his  head  was  nearly  in  the  fire.  I  set  there 
behind  a  clump  of  bushes  in  about  six  foot  of  him, 
and  kept  my  eyes  on  him  steady.  It  was  getting  gray 
daylight  now.  Pretty  soon  he  gapped  and  stretched 
himself  and  hove  off  the  blanket,  and  it  was  Miss 
Watson's  Jim  !  I  bet  I  was  glad  to  see  him.  I  says: 

"  Hello,  Jim  !"   and  skipped  out. 

He  bounced  up  and  stared  at  me  wild.  Then  he 
drops  down  on  his  knees,  and  puts  his  hands  together 
and  says: 

"  Doan'  hurt  me  —  don't!  I  hain't  ever  done  no 
harm  to  a  ghos'.  I  ahvuz  liked  dead  people,  en  done 
all  I  could  for  'em.  You  go  en  git  in  de  river  agin, 
whah  you  b'longs,  en  doan'  do  nuffn  to  Ole  Jim,  'at 
'uz  awluz  yo'  fren1." 

Well,  I  warn't  long  making  him  understand  I  warn't 
dead.  I  was  ever  so  glad  to  see  Jim.  I  warn't  lone 
some  now.  I  told  him  I  warn't  afraid  of  him  telling 
the  people  where  I  was.  I  talked  along,  but  he  only 
set  there  and  looked  at  me ;  never  said  nothing.  Then 
I  says: 

"  It's  good  daylight.  Le's  get  breakfast.  Make  up 
your  camp  fire  good." 

14  What's  de  use  er  makin'  up  de  camp  fire  to  cook 
strawbries  en  sich  truck?  But  you  got  a  gun,  hain't 
you?  Den  we  kin  git  sumfn  better  den  strawbries." 

"Strawberries  and  such  truck,"  I  says.  "  Is  that 
what  you  live  on?" 

"  I  couldn'  git  nuffn  else,"  he  says. 

'*  Why,  how  long  you  been  on  the  island,  Jim?" 

"  I  come  heah  de  night  arter  you's  killed." 

"What,  all  that  time?" 

"Yes-indeedy." 

"And  ain't  you  had  nothing  but  that  kind  of  rub- 
bage  to  eat?" 

"No,  sah  —  nuffn  else." 


68  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  Well,  you  must  be  most  starved,  ain't  you?" 

"  I  reck'n  I  could  eat  a  boss.  I  think  I  could. 
How  long  you  ben  on  de  islan'?" 

"  Since  the  night  I  got  killed." 

"  No !  W'y,  what  has  you  lived  on?  But  you  got 
a  gun.  Oh,  yes,  you  got  a  gun.  Dat's  good.  Now 
you  kill  sumfn  en  I'll  make  up  de  fire." 
CS°  we  went  over  to  where  the  canoe  was,  and  while 
he  built  a  fire  in  a  grassy  open  place  amongst  the  trees, 
I  fetched  meal  and  bacon  and  coffee,  and  coffee-pot 
and  frying-pan,  and  sugar  and  tin  cups,  and  the  nigger 
was  set  back  considerable,  because  he  reckoned  it  was 
all  done  with  witchcraft.  I  catched  a  good  big  catfish, 
too,  and  Jim  cleaned  him  with  his  knife,  and  fried 
him. 

When  breakfast  was  ready  we  lolled  on  the  grass  and 
eat  it  smoking  hot.  Jim  laid  it  in  with  all  his  might, 
for  he  was  most  about  starved.  Then  when  we  had 
got  pretty  well  stuffed,  we  laid  off  and  lazied. 

By  and  by  Jim  says : 

"But  looky  here,  Huck,  who  wuz  it  dat  'uz  killed 
in  dat  shanty  ef  it  warn't  you?" 

Then  I  told  him  the  whole  thing,  and  he  said  it  was 
smart.  He  said  Tom  Sawyer  couldn't  get  up  no  better 
plan  than  what  I  had.  Then  I  says: 

"  How  do  you  come  to  be  here,  Jim,  and  how'd  you 
get  here?" 

He  looked  pretty  uneasy,  and  didn't  say  nothing  for 
a  minute.  Then  he  says: 

"  Maybe  I  better  not  tell." 

;'Why,  Jim?" 

"  Well,  dey's  reasons.  But  you  wouldn'  tell  on  me 
ef  I  'uz  to  tell  you,  would  you,  Huck?" 

"Blamed  if  I  would,  Jim." 

"  Well,  I  b'lieve  you,  Huck.     I  — I  run  off." 

"Jim!" 


Huckleberry  Finn  69 

"But  mind,  you  said  you  wouldn'  tell  —  you  know 
you  said  you  wouldn'  tell,  Huck." 

"  Well,  I  did.  I  said  I  wouldn't,  and  I'll  stick  to  it. 
Honest  injun,  I  will.  People  would  call  me  a  low- 
down  Abolitionist  and  despise  me  for  keeping  mum  — 
but  that  don't  make  no  difference.  I  ain't  a-going  to 
tell,  and  I  ain't  a-going  back  there,  anyways.  So, 
now,  le's  know  all  about  it." 

14  Well,  you  see,  it  'uz  dis  way.  Ole  missus  —  dat's 
Miss  Watson  —  she  pecks  on  me  all  de  time,  en  treats 
me  pooty  rough,  but  she  awluz  said  she  wouldn'  sell 
me  down  to  Orleans.  But  I  noticed  dey  wuz  a  nigger 
trader  roun'  de  place  considable  lately,  en  I  begin  to 
git  oneasy.  Well,  one  night  I  creeps  to  de  do'  pooty 
late,  en  de  do'  warn't  quite  shet,  en  I  hear  old  missus 
tell  de  widder  she  gwyne  to  sell  me  down  to  Orleans, 
but  she  didn'  want  to,  but  she  could  git  eight  hund'd 
dollars  for  me,  en  it  'uz  sich  a  big  stack  o'  money  she 
couldn'  resis'.  De  widder  she  try  to  git  her  to  say 
she  wouldn'  do  it,  but  I  never  waited  to  hear  de  res'. 
I  lit  out  mighty  quick,  I  tell  you. 

"  I  tuck  out  en  shin  down  de  hill,  en  'spec  to  steal  a 
skift  'long  de  sho'  som'ers  'bove  de  town,  but  dey  wuz 
people  a-stirring  yit,  so  I  hid  in  de  ole  tumble-down 
cooper-shop  on  de  bank  to  wait  for  everybody  to  go 
'way.  Well,  I  wuz  dah  all  night.  Dey  wuz  somebody 
roun'  all  de  time.  'Long  'bout  six  in  de  mawnin' 
skifts  begin  to  go  by,  en  'bout  eight  er  nine  every 
skift  dat  went  'long  wuz  talkin'  'bout  how  yo*  pap 
come  over  to  de  town  en  say  you's  killed.  Dese  las' 
skifts  wuz  full  o'  ladies  en  genlmen  a-goin'  over  for  to 
see  de  place.  Sometimes  dey'd  pull  up  at  de  sho'  en 
take  a  res'  b'fo'  dey  started  acrost,  so  by  de  talk  I  got 
to  know  all  'bout  de  killin'.  I  'uz  powerful  sorry 
you's  killed,  Huck,  but  I  ain't  no  mo'  now. 

"I    laid    dah    under   de    shavin's    all   day.     I    'uz 


70  Huckleberry  Finn 

hungry,  but  I  warn't  afeard ;  bekase  I  knowed  ole 
missus  en  de  widder  wuz  goin'  to  start  to  de  camp- 
meet' n'  right  arter  breakfas'  en  be  gone  all  day,  en 
dey  knows  I  goes  off  wid  de  cattle  'bout  daylight,  so 
dey  wouldn'  'spec  to  see  me  roun'  de  place,  en  so  dey 
wouldn'  miss  me  tell  arter  dark  in  de  evenin'.  De 
yuther  servants  wouldn'  miss  me,  kase  dey'd  shin  out 
en  take  holiday  soon  as  de  ole  folks  'uz  out'n  de  way. 

"Well,  when  it  come  dark  I  tuck  out  up  de  river 
road,  en  went  'bout  two  mile  er  more  to  whah  dey 
warn't  no  houses.  I'd  made  up  my  mine  'bout  what 
I's  agwyne  to  do.  You  see,  ef  I  kep'  on  tryin'  to  git 
away  afoot,  de  dogs  'ud  track  me;  ef  I  stole  a  skift  to 
cross  over,  dey'd  miss  dat  skift,  you  see,  en  dey'd 
know  'bout  whah  I'd  Ian'  on  de  yuther  side,  en  whah 
to  pick  up  my  track.  So  I  says,  a  raff  is  what  I's 
arter;  it  doan'  make  no  track. 

"  I  see  a  light  a-comin'  roun'  de  p'int  bymeby,  so  I 
wade'  in  en  shove'  a  log  ahead  o'  me  en  swum  more'n 
half  way  acrost  de  river,  en  got  in  'mongst  de  drift 
wood,  en  kep'  my  head  down  low,  en  kinder  swum 
agin  de  current  tell  de  raff  come  along.  Den  I  swum 
to  de  stern  uv  it  en  tuck  a-holt.  It  clouded  up  en  'uz 
pooty  dark  for  a  little  while.  So  I  dumb  up  en  laid 
down  on  de  planks.  De  men  'uz  all  'way  yonder  in 
de  middle,  whah  de  lantern  wuz.  De  river  wuz  a- 
risin',  en  dey  wuz  a  good  current;  so  I  reck'n'd  'at 
by  fo'  in  de  mawnin*  I'd  be  twenty-five  mile  down  de 
river,  en  den  I'd  slip  in  jis  b'fo'  daylight  en  swim 
asho',  en  take  to  de  woods  on  de  Illinois  side. 

"But  I  didn'  have  no  luck.  When  we  'uz  mos' 
down  to  de  head  er  de  islan'  a  man  begin  to  come  aft 
wid  de  lantern.  I  see  it  warn't  no  use  fer  to  wait,  so  I 
slid  overboard  en  struck  out  fer  de  islan'.  Well,  I  had 
a  notion  I  could  Ian'  mos'  anywhers,  but  I  couldn't  — 
bank  too  bluff.  I  'uz  mos'  to  de  foot  er  de  islan' 


Huckleberry  Finn  71 

b'fo*  I  found'  a  good  place.  I  went  into  de  woods  en 
jedged  I  wouldn'  fool  wid  raffs  no  mo',  long  as  dey 
move  de  lantern  roun'  so.  I  had  my  pipe  en  a  plug  er 
dog-leg,  en  some  matches  in  my  cap,  en  dey  warn't 
wet,  so  I  'uz  all  right." 

44  And  so  you  ain't  had  no  meat  nor  bread  to  eat  all 
this  time?  Why  didn't  you  get  mud-turkles?" 

11  How  you  gwyne  to  git  'm?  You  can't  slip  up  on 
um  en  grab  um;  en  how's  a  body  gwyne  to  hit  um 
wid  a  rock?  How  could  a  body  do  it  in  de  night? 
En  I  warn't  gwyne  to  show  mysef  on  de  bank  in  de 
daytime/' 

44  Well,  that's  so.  You've  had  to  keep  in  the  woods 
all  the  time,  of  course.  Did  you  hear  'em  shooting 
the  cannon?" 

44  Oh,  yes.  I  knowed  dey  was  arter  you.  I  see  um 
go  by  heah  —  watched  um  thoo  de  bushes." 

Some  young  birds  come  along,  flying  a  yard  or  two 
at  a  time  and  lighting.  Jim  said  it  was  a  sign  it  was 
going  to  rain.  He  said  it  was  a  sign  when  young 
chickens  flew  that  way,  and  so  he  reckoned  it  was  the 
same  way  when  young  birds  done  it.  I  was  going  to 
catch  some  of  them,  but  Jim  wouldn't  let  me.  He 
said  it  was  death.  He  said  his  father  laid  mighty  sick 
once,  and  some  of  them  catched  a  bird,  and  his  old 
granny  said  his  father  would  die,  and  he  did. 

And  Jim  said  you  mustn't  count  the  things  you  are 
going  to  cook  for  dinner,  because  that  would  bring 
bad  luck.  The  same  if  you  shook  the  table-cloth  after 
sundown.  And  he  said  if  a  man  owned  a  beehive  and 
that  man  died,  the  bees  must  be  told  about  it  before 
sun-up  next  morning,  or  else  the  bees  would  all 
weaken  down  and  quit  work  and  die.  Jim  said  bees 
wouldn't  sting  idiots;  but  I  didn't  believe  that,  be 
cause  I  had  tried  them  lots  of  times  myself,  and  they 
wouldn't  sting  mern^ 

JX 


72  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  had  heard  about  some  of  these  things  before,  but 
not  all  of  them.  Jim  knowed  all  kinds  of  signs.  He 
said  he  knowed  most  everything.  I  said  it  looked  to 
me  like  all  the  signs  was  about  bad  luck,  and  so  I 
asked  him  if  there  warn't  any  good-luck  signs.  He 
says : 

"Mighty  few  —  an'  dey  ain't  no  use  to  a  body. 
What  you  want  to  know  when  good  luck's  a-comin' 
for?  Want  to  keep  it  off?"  And  he  said:  "  Ef  you's 
got  hairy  arms  en  a  hairy  breas',  it's  a  sign  dat  you's 
agwyne  to  be  rich.  Well,  dey's  some  use  in  a  sign 
like  dat,  'kase  it's  so  fur  ahead.  You  see,  maybe 
you's  got  to  be  po'  a  long  time  fust,  en  so  you  might 
git  discourage'  en  kill  yo'sef  'f  you  didn'  know  by  de 
sign  dat  you  gwyne  to  be  rich  bymeby." 

"  Have  you  got  hairy  arms  and  a  hairy  breast, 
Jim?" 

"What's  de  use  to  ax  dat  question?  Don't  you 
see  I  has?" 

"Well,  are  you  rich?" 

"No,  but  I  ben  rich  wunst,  and  gwyne  to  be  rich 
agin.  Wunst  I  had  foteen  dollars,  but  I  tuck  to 
specalat'n',  en  got  busted  out." 

"  What  did  you  speculate  in,  Jim?" 

"  Well,  fust  I  tackled  stock." 

14  What  kind  of  stock?" 

"  Why,  live  stock  —  cattle,  you  know.  I  put  ten 
dollars  in  a  cow.  But  I  ain'  gwyne  to  resk  no  mo' 
money  in  stock.  De  cow  up  'n'  died  on  my  han's." 

"  So  you  lost  the  ten  dollars." 

"  No,  I  didn't  lose  it  all.  I  on'y  los'  'bout  nine  of 
it.  I  sole  de  hide  en  taller  for  a  dollar  en  ten  cents." 

"You  had  five  dollars  and  ten  cents  left.  Did  you 
speculate  any  more?" 

"Yes.  You  know  that  one-laigged  nigger  dat 
b'longs  to  old  Misto  Bradish?  Well,  he  sot  up  a 


Huckleberry  Finn  73 

bank,  en  say  anybody  dat  put  in  a  dollar  would  git  fo' 
dollars  mo'  at  de  en'  er  de  year.  Well,  all  de  niggers 
went  in,  but  dey  didn't  have  much.  I  wuz  de  on'y 
one  dat  had  much.  So  I  stuck  out  for  mo'  dan  fo' 
dollars,  en  I  said  'f  I  didn'  git  it  I'd  start  a  bank  my- 
sef.  Well,  o'  course  dat  nigger  want'  to  keep  me  out 
er  de  business,  bekase  he  says  dey  warn't  business 
'nough  for  two  banks,  so  he  say  I  could  put  in  my  five 
dollars  en  he  pay  me  thirty-five  at  de  en'  er  de  year. 

41  So  I  done  it.  Den  I  reck'n'd  I'd  inves'  de 
thirty-five  dollars  right  off  en  keep  things  a-movin'. 
Dey  wuz  a  nigger  name'  Bob,  dat  had  ketched  a  wood- 
flat,  en  his  marster  didn'  know  it;  en  I  bought  it  off' n 
him  en  told  him  to  take  de  thirty-five  dollars  when  de 
en'  er  de  year  come ;  but  somebody  stole  de  wood-flat 
dat  night,  en  nex  day  de  one-laigged  nigger  say  de 
bank's  busted.  So  dey  didn'  none  uv  us  git  no 
money." 

44  What  did  you  do  with  the  ten  cents,  Jim?" 
"Well,  I  'uz  gwyne  to  spen'  it,  but  I  had  a  dream, 
en  de  dream  tole  me  to  give  it  to  a  nigger  name' 
Balum  —  Balum's  Ass  dey  call  him  for  short;  he's 
one  er  dem  chuckleheads,  you  know.  But  he's  lucky, 
dey  say,  en  I  see  I  warn't  lucky.  De  dream  say  let 
Balum  inves'  de  ten  cents  en  he'd  make  a  raise  for  me. 
Well,  Balum  he  tuck  de  money,  en  when  he  wuz  in 
church  he  hear  de  preacher  say  dat  whoever  give  to  de 
po'  len'  to  de  Lord,  en  boun'  to  git  his  money  back  a 
hund'd  times.  So  Balum  he  tuck  en  give  de  ten  cents 
to  de  po',  en  laid  low  to  see  what  wuz  gwyne  to  come 
of  it." 

44  Well,  what  did  come  of  it,  Jim?" 

s*Nuffn    never  come  of   it.     I   couldn'    manage  to 

k'leck  dat  money  no  way;   en  Balum  he  couldn'.     I 

ain'   gwyne    to    len'    no    mo'    money   'dout    I   see   de 

security.     Boun'    to    git   yo'    money    back    a  hund'd 


74  Huckleberry  Finn 

times,  de  preacher  says !  Ef  I  could  git  de  ten  cents 
back,  I'd  call  it  squah,  en  be  glad  er  de  chanst." 

"Well,  it's  all  right  anyway,  Jim,  long  as  you're 
going  to  be  rich  again  some  time  or  other." 

'*  Yes;  en  I's  rich  now,  come  to  look  at  it.  I  owns 
mysef,  en  I's  wuth  eight  hund'd  dollars.  I  wisht  I 
had  de  money,  I  wouldn'  want  no  mo'." 


CHAPTER   IX. 

I   WANTED  to  go  and  look  at  a  place  right  about  the 
middle   of  the  island   that  I'd  found  when  I  was 
exploring ;   so  we  started  and  soon  got  to  it,  because 
the  island  was  only  three  miles  long  and  a  quarter  of  a 
mile  wide. 

This  place  was  a  tolerable  long,  steep  hill  or  ridge 
about  forty  foot  high.  We  had  a  rough  time  getting 
to  the  top,  the  sides  was  so  steep  and  the  bushes  so 
thick.  We  tramped  and  clumb  around  all  over  it,  and 
by  and  by  found  a  good  big  cavern  in  the  rock,  most 
up  to  the  top  on  the  side  towards  Illinois.  The  cavern 
was  as  big  as  two  or  three  rooms  bunched  together, 
and  Jim  could  stand  up  straight  in  it.  It  was  cool  in 
there.  Jim  was  for  putting  our  traps  in  there  right 
away,  but  I  said  we  didn't  want  to  be  climbing  up  and 
down  there  all  the  time. 

Jim  said  if  we  had  the  canoe  hid  in  a  good  place, 
and  had  all  the  traps  in  the  cavern,  we  could  rush  there 
if  anybody  was  to  come  to  the  island,  and  they  would 
never  find  us  without  dogs.  And,  besides,  he  said 
them  little  birds  had  said  it  was  going  to  rain,  and  did 
I  want  the  things  to  get  wet? 

So  we  went  back  and  got  the  canoe,  and  paddled  up 
abreast  the  cavern,  and  lugged  all  the  traps  up  there. 
Then  we  hunted  up  a  place  close  by  to  hide  the  canoe 
in,  amongst  the  thick  willows.  We  took  some  fish  off 
of  the  lines  and  set  them  again,  and  begun  to  get  ready 
for  dinner. 

(75) 


76  Huckleberry  Finn 

The  door  of  the  cavern  was  big  enough  to  roll  a 
hogshead  in,  and  on  one  side  of  the  door  the  floor 
stuck  out  a  little  bit,  and  was  flat  and  a  good  place  to 
build  a  fire  on.  So  we  built  it  there  and  cooked 
dinner. 

We  spread  the  blankets  inside  for  a  carpet,  and  eat 
our  dinner  in  there.  We  put  all  the  other  things  handy 
at  the  back  of  the  cavern.  Pretty  soon  it  darkened  up, 
and  begun  to  thunder  and  lighten ;  so  the  birds  was 
right  about  it.  Directly  it  begun  to  rain,  and  it  rained 
like  all  fury,  too,  and  I  never  see  the  wind  blow  so. 
It  was  one  of  these  regular  summer  storms.  It  would 
get  so  dark  that  it  looked  all  blue-black  outside,  and 
lovely;  and  the  rain  would  thrash  along  by  so  thick 
that  the  trees  off  a  little  ways  looked  dim  and  spider- 
webby;  and  here  would  come  a  blast  of  wind  that 
would  bend  the  trees  down  and  turn  up  the  pale  under 
side  of  the  leaves ;  and  then  a  perfect  ripper  of  a  gust 
would  follow  along  and  set  the  branches  to  tossing 
their  arms  as  if  they  was  just  wild ;  and  next,  when  it 
was  just  about  the  bluest  and  blackest — fst!  it  was  as 
bright  as  glory,  and  you'd  have  a  little  glimpse  of  tree- 
tops  a-plunging  about  away  off  yonder  in  the  storm, 
hundreds  of  yards  further  than  you  could  see  before ; 
dark  as  sin  again  in  a  second,  and  now  you'd  hear  the 
thunder  let  go  with  an  awful  crash,  and  then  go  rum 
bling,  grumbling,  tumbling,  down  the  sky  towards  the 
under  side  of  the  world,  like  rolling  empty  barrels 
down  stairs  —  where  it's  long  stairs  and  they  bounce  a 
good  deal,  you  know. 

"Jim,  this  is  nice,"  I  says.  "  I  wouldn't  want  to 
be  nowhere  else  but  here.  Pass  me  along  another 
hunk  of  fish  and  some  hot  corn-bread." 

"Well,  you  wouldn't  a  ben  here  'f  it  hadn't  a  ben 
for  Jim.  You'd  a  ben  down  dah  in  de  woods  widout 
any  dinner,  en  gittn'  mos'  drownded,  too;  dat  you 


* 


Huckleberry  Finn  77 

would,  honey.  Chickens  knows  when  it's  gwyne  to 
rain,  en  so  do  de  birds,  chile." 

The  river  went  on  raising  and  raising  for  ten  or 
twelve  days,  till  at  last  it  was  over  the  banks.  The 
water  was  three  or  four  foot  deep  on  the  island  in  the 
low  places  and  on  the  Illinois  bottom.  On  that  side  it 
was  a  good  many  miles  wide,  but  on  the  Missouri  side 
it  was  the  same  old  distance  across  —  a  half  a  mile  — 
because  the  Missouri  shore  was  just  a  wall  of  high 
bluffs. 

Daytimes  we  paddled  all  over  the  island  in  the  canoe. 
It  was  mighty  cool  and  shady  in  the  deep  woods,  even 
if  the  sun  was  blazing  outside.  We  went  winding  in 
and  out  amongst  the  trees,  and  sometimes  the  vines 
hung  so  thick  we  had  to  back  away  and  go  some  other 
way.  Well,  on  every  old  broken-down  tree  you  could 
see  rabbits  and  snakes  and  such  things;  and  when 
the  island  had  been  overflowed  a  day  or  two  they  got 
so  tame,  on  account  of  being  hungry,  that  you  could 
paddle  right  up  and  put  your  hand  on  them  if  you 
wanted  to  ;  but  not  the  snakes  and  turtles  —  they  would 
slide  off  in  the  water.  The  ridge  our  cavern  was  in 
was  full  of  them.  We  could  a  had  pets  enough  if  we'd 
wanted  them. 

One  night  we  catched  a  little  section  of  a  lumber- 
raft —  nice  pine  planks.  It  was  twelve  foot  wide  and 
about  fifteen  or  sixteen  foot  long,  and  the  top  stood 
above  water  six  or  seven  inches  —  a  solid,  level  floor. 
We  could  see  saw-logs  go  by  in  the  daylight  some 
times,  but  we  let  them  go;  we  didn't  show  ourselves 
in  daylight. 

Another  night  when  we  was  up  at  the  head  of  the 
island,  just  before  daylight,  here  comes  a  frame-house 
down,  on  the  west  side.  She  was  a  two-story,  and 
tilted  over  considerable.  We  paddled  out  and  got 
aboard  —  clumb  in  at  an  upstairs  window.  But  it  was 


78  Huckleberry  Finn 

too  dark  to  see  yet,  so  we  made  the  canoe  fast  and  set 
in  her  to  wait  for  daylight. 

The  light  begun  to  come  before  we  got  to  the  foot 
of  the  island.  Then  we  looked  in  at  the  window.  We 
could  make  out  a  bed,  and  a  table,  and  two  old  chairs, 
and  lots  of  things  around  about  on  the  floor,  and  there 
was  clothes  hanging  against  the  wall.  There  was 
something  laying  on  the  floor  in  the  far  corner  that 
looked  like  a  man.  So  Jim  says: 

4 'Hello,  you!" 

But  it  didn't  budge.  So  I  hollered  again,  and  then 
Jim  says : 

"  De  man  ain't  asleep  —  he's  dead.  You  hold  still 
—  I'll  go  en  see." 

He  went,  and  bent  down  and  looked,  and  says: 

"It's  a  dead  man.  Yes,  indeedy;  naked,  too. 
He's  ben  shot  in  de  back.  I  reck'n  he's  ben  dead 
two  er  three  days.  Come  in,  Huck,  but  doan'  look  at 
his  face  —  it's  too  gashly." 

I  didn't  look  at  him  at  all.  Jim  thro  wed  some  old 
rags  over  him,  but  he  needn't  done  it;  I  didn't  want 
to  see  him.  There  was  heaps  of  old  greasy  cards 
scattered  around  over  the  floor,  and  old  whisky  bottles, 
and  a  couple  of  masks  made  out  of  black  cloth ;  and 
all  over  the  walls  was  the  ignorantest  kind  of  words 
and  pictures  made  with  charcoal.  There  was  two  old 
dirty  calico  dresses,  and  a  sun-bonnet,  and  some 
women's  underclothes  hanging  against  the  wall,  and 
some  men's  clothing,  too.  We  put  the  lot  into  the 
canoe  —  it  might  come  good.  There  was  a  boy's  old 
speckled  straw  hat  on  the  floor;  I  took  that,  too. 
And  there  was  a  bottle  that  had  had  milk  in  it,  and  it 
had  a  rag  stopper  for  a  baby  to  suck.  We  would  a 
took  the  bottle,  but  it  was  broke.  There  was  a  seedy 
old  chest,  and  an  old  hair  trunk  with  the  hinges  broke. 
They  stood  open,  but  there  warn't  nothing  left  in  them. 


Huckleberry  Finn  79 

that  was  any  account.  The  way  things  was  scattered 
about  we  reckoned  the  people  left  in  a  hurry,  and 
warn't  fixed  so  as  to  carry  off  most  of  their  stuff. 

We  got  an  old  tin  lantern,  and  a  butcher-knife  with 
out  any  handle,  and  a  bran-new  Barlow  knife  worth 
two  bits  in  any  store,  and  a  lot  of  tallow  candles,  and  a 
tin  candlestick,  and  a  gourd,  and  a  tin  cup,  and  a  ratty 
old  bedquilt  off  the  bed,  and  a  reticule  with  needles 
and  pins  and  beeswax  and  buttons  and  thread  and  all 
such  truck  in  it,  and  a  hatchet  and  some  nails,  and  a 
fishline  as  thick  as  my  little  finger  with  some  mon 
strous  hooks  on  it,  and  a  roll  of  buckskin,  and  a 
leather  dog-collar,  and  a  horseshoe,  and  some  vials  of 
medicine  that  didn't  have  no  label  on  them;  and  just 
as  we  was  leaving  I  found  a  tolerable  good  curry-comb, 
and  Jim  he  found  a  ratty  old  fiddle-bow,  and  a  wooden 
leg.  The  straps  was  broke  off  of  it,  but,  barring  that, 
it  was  a  good  enough  leg,  though  it  was  too  long  for 
me  and  not  long  enough  for  Jim,  and  we  couldn't  find 
the  other  one,  though  we  hunted  all  around. 

And  so,  take  it  all  around,  we  made  a  good  haul. 
When  we  was  ready  to  shove  off  we  was  a  quarter  of  a 
mile  below  the  island,  and  it  was  pretty  broad  day;  so 
I  made  Jim  lay  down  in  the  canoe  and  cover  up  with 
the  quilt,  because  if  he  set  up  people  could  tell  he  was 
a  nigger  a  good  ways  off.  I  paddled  over  to  the 
Illinois  shore,  and  drifted  down  most  a  half  a  mile 
doing  it.  I  crept  up  the  dead  water  under  the  bank, 
and  hadn't  no  accidents  and  didn't  see  nobody.  We 
got  home  all  safe. 


CHAPTER   X. 

7VFTER  breakfast  I  wanted  to  talk  about  the  dead 
l\  man  and  guess  out  how  he  come  to  be  killed,  but 
Jim  didn't  want  to.  He  said  it  would  fetch  bad  luck; 
and  besides,  he  said,  he  might  come  and  ha'nt  us;  he 
said  a  man  that  warn't  buried  was  more  likely  to  go  a- 
ha'nting  around  than  one  that  was  planted  and  com 
fortable.  That  sounded  pretty  reasonable,  so  I  didn't 
say  no  more;  but  I  couldn't  keep  from  studying  over 
it  and  wishing  I  knowed  who  shot  the  man,  and  what 
they  done  it  for. 

We  rummaged  the  clothes  we'd  got,  and  found  eight 
dollars  in  silver  sewed  up  in  the  lining  of  an  old  blanket 
overcoat.  Jim  said  he  reckoned  the  people  in  that 
house  stole  the  coat,  because  if  they'd  a  knowed  the 
money  was  there  they  wouldn't  a  left  it.  I  said  I 
reckoned  they  killed  him,  too;  but  Jim  didn't  want  to 
talk  about  that.  I  says : 

"  Now  you  think  it's  bad  luck;  but  what  did  you 
say  when  I  fetched  in  the  snake-skin  that  I  found  on 
the  top  of  the  ridge  day  before  yesterday?  You  said 
It  was  the  worst  bad  luck  in  the  world  to  touch  a 
snake-skin  with  my  hands.  Well,  here's  your  bad 
luck !  We've  raked  in  all  this  truck  and  eight  dollars 
besides.  I  wish  we  could  have  some  bad  luck  like  this 
every  day,  Jim." 

"  Never  you  mind,  honey,  never  you  mind.  Don't 
you  git  too  peart.  It's  a-comin'.  Mind  I  tell  you, 
it's  a-comin'." 

(80) 


Huckleberry  Finn  81 

It  did  come,  too.  It  was  a  Tuesday  that  we  had 
that  talk.  Well,  after  dinner  Friday  we  was  laying 
around  in  the  grass  at  the  upper  end  of  the  ridge,  and 
got  out  of  tobacco.  I  went  to  the  cavern  to  get  some, 
and  found  a  rattlesnake  in  there.  I  killed  him,  and 
curled  him  up  on  the  foot  of  Jim's  blanket,  ever  so 
natural,  thinking  there'd  be  some  fun  when  Jim  found 
him  there.  Well,  by  night  I  forgot  all  about  the 
snake,  and  when  Jim  flung  himself  down  on  the  blanket 
while  I  struck  a  light  the  snake's  mate  was  there,  and 
bit  him. 

He  jumped  up  yelling,  and  the  first  thing  the  light 
showed  was  the  varmint  curled  up  and  ready  for 
another  spring.  I  laid  him  out  in  a  second  with  a 
stick,  and  Jim  grabbed  pap's  whisky-jug  and  begun  to 
pour  it  down. 

He  was  barefooted,  and  the  snake  bit  him  right  on 
the  heel.  That  all  comes  of  my  being  such  a  fool  as 
to  not  remember  that  wherever  you  leave  a  dead  snake 
its  mate  always  comes  there  and  curls  around  it.  Jim 
told  me  to  chop  off  the  snake's  head  and  throw  it 
away,  and  then  skin  the  body  and  roast  a  piece  of  it. 
I  done  it,  and  he  eat  it  and  said  it  would  help  cure 
him.  He  made  me  take  off  the  rattles  and  tie  them 
around  his  wrist,  too.  He  said  that  that  would  help. 
Then  I  slid  out  quiet  and  throwed  the  snakes  clear 
away  amongst  the  bushes;  for  I  warn' t  going  to  let 
Jim  find  out  it  was  all  my  fault,  not  if  I  could  help  it. 

Jim  sucked  and  sucked  at  the  jug,  and  now  and  then 
he  got  out  of  his  head  and  pitched  around  and  yelled ; 
but  every  time  he  come  to  himself  he  went  to  sucking 
at  the  jug  again.  His  foot  swelled  up  pretty  big,  and 
so  did  his  leg;  but  by  and  by  the  drunk  begun  to 
come,  and  so  I  judged  he  was  all  right;  but  I'd 
druther  been  bit  with  a  snake  than  pap's  whisky. 

Jim  was  laid  up  for  four  days  and  nights.  Then 
6 


82  Huckleberry  Finn 

the  swelling  was  all  gone  and  he  was  around  again.  I 
made  up  my  mind  I  wouldn't  ever  take  a-holt  of  a 
snake-skin  again  with  my  hands,  now  that  I  see  what 
had  come  of  it.  Jim  said  he  reckoned  I  would  believe 
him  next  time.  And  he  said  that  handling  a  snake- 
skin  was  such  awful  bad  luck  that  maybe  we  hadn't 
got  to  the  end  of  it  yet.  He  said  he  druther  see  the 
new  moon  over  his  left  shoulder  as  much  as  a  thousand 
times  than  take  up  a  snake-skin  in  his  hand.  Well,  I 
was  getting  to  feel  that  way  myself,  though  I've  always 
reckoned  that  looking  at  the  new  moon  over  your  left 
shoulder  is  one  of  the  carelessest  and  foolishest  things 
a  body  can  do.  Old  Hank  Bunker  done  it  once,  and 
bragged  about  it;  and  in  less  than  two  years  he  got 
drunk  and  fell  off  of  the  shot-tower,  and  spread  him 
self  out  so  that  he  was  just  a  kind  of  a  layer,  as  you 
may  say;  and  they  slid  him  edgeways  between  two 
barn  doors  for  a  coffin,  and  buried  him  so,  so  they 
say,  but  I  didn't  see  it.  Pap  told  me.  But  anyway 
it  all  come  of  looking  at  the  moon  that  way,  like  a 
fool. 

Well,  the  days  went  along,  and  the  river  went  down 
between  its  banks  again ;  and  about  the  first  thing  we 
done  was  to  bait  one  of  the  big  hooks  with  a  skinned 
rabbit  and  set  it  and  catch  a  catfish  that  was  as  big  as 
a  man,  being  six  foot  two  inches  long,  and  weighed 
over  two  hundred  pounds.  We  couldn't  handle  him, 
of  course ;  he  would  a  flung  us  into  Illinois.  We  just 
set  there  and  watched  him  rip  and  tear  around  till  he 
drownded.  We  found  a  brass  button  in  his  stomaqji 
and  a  round  ball,  and  lots  of  rubbage.  We  split  the 
ball  open  with  the  hatchet,  and  there  was  a  spool  in  it. 
Jim  said  he'd  had  it  there  a  long  time,  to  coat  it  over 
so  and  make  a  ball  of  it.  It  was  as  big  a  fish  as  was 
ever  catched  in  the  Mississippi,  I  reckon.  Jim  said  he 
hadn't  ever  seen  a  bigger  one.  He  would  a  been 


Huckleberry  Finn  83 

worth  a  good  deal  over  at  the  village.  They  peddle 
out  such  a  fish  as  that  by  the  pound  in  the  market- 
house  there;  everybody  buys  some  of  him;  his  meat's 
as  white  as  snow  and  makes  a  good  fryf\ 

Next  morning  I  said  it  was  getting^slow  and  dull, 
and  I  wanted  to  get  a  stirring  up  some  way.  I  said  I 
reckoned  I  would  slip  over  the  river  and  find  out  what 
was  going  on.  Jim  liked  that  notion ;  but  he  said  I 
must  go  in  the  dark  and  look  sharp.  Then  he  studied 
it  over  and  said,  couldn't  I  put  on  some  of  them  old 
things  and  dress  up  like  a  girl?  That  was  a  good 
notion,  too.  So  we  shortened  up  one  of  the  calico 
gowns,  and  I  turned  up  my  trouser-legs  to  my  knees 
and  got  into  it.  Jim  hitched  it  behind  with  the  hooks, 
and  it  was  a  fair  fit.  I  put  on  the  sun-bonnet  and  tied 
it  under  my  chin,  and  then  for  a  body  to  look  in  and 
see  my  face  was  like  looking  down  a  joint  of  stove 
pipe.  Jim  said  nobody  would  know  me,  even  in  the 
daytime,  hardly.  I  practiced  around  all  day  to  get 
the  hang  of  the  things,  and  by  and  by  I  could  do 
pretty  well  in  them,  only  Jim  said  I  didn't  walk  like  a 
girl ;  and  he  said  I  must  quit  pulling  up  my  gown  to 
get  at  my  britches-pocket.  I  took  notice,  and  done 
better. 

I  started  up  the  Illinois  shore  in  the  canoe  just  after 
dark. 

I  started  across  to  the  town  from  a  little  below  the 
ferry-landing,  and  the  drift  of  the  current  fetched  me 
in  at  the  bottom  of  the  town.  I  tied  up  and  started 
along  the  bank.  There  was  a  light  burning  in  a  little 
shanty  that  hadn't  been  lived  in  for  a  long  time,  and  I 
wondered  who  had  took  up  quarters  there.  I  slipped 
up  and  peeped  in  at  the  window.  There  was  a  woman 
about  forty  year  old  in  there  knitting  by  a  candle  that 
was  on  a  pine  table.  I  didn't  know  her  face;  she  was 
a  stranger,  for  you  couldn't  start  a  face  in  that  town 


84  Huckleberry  Finn 

that  I  didn't  know.  Now  this  was  lucky,  because  I 
was  weakening;  I  was  getting  afraid  I  had  come; 
people  might  know  my  voice  and  find  me  out.  But  if 
this  woman  had  been  in  such  a  little  town  two  days 
she  could  tell  me  all  I  wanted  to  know;  so  I  knocked 
at  the  door,  and  made  up  my  mind  I  wouldn't  forget  I 
was  a  girl. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

in,"    says   the   woman,   and    I   did.     She 

V-i     says:      "  Take  a  cheer." 

I  done  it.  She  looked  me  all  over  with  her  little 
shiny  eyes,  and  says : 

"  What  might  your  name  be?" 

"Sarah  Williams." 

"Where  'bouts  do  you  live?  In  this  neighbor 
hood?' 

"  No'm.  In  Hookerville,  seven  mile  below.  I've 
walked  all  the  way  and  I'm  all  tired  out." 

'*  Hungry,  too,  I  reckon.    I'll  find  you  something." 

"  No'm,  I  ain't  hungry.  I  was  so  hungry  I  had  to 
stop  two  miles  below  here  at  a  farm ;  so  I  ain't  hungry 
no  more.  It's  what  makes  me  so  late.  My  mother's 
down  sick,  and  out  of  money  and  everything,  and  I 
come  to  tell  my  uncle  Abner  Moore.  He  lives  at  the 
upper  end  of  the  town,  she  says.  I  hain't  ever  been 
here  before.  Do  you  know  him?" 

"No;  but  I  don't  know  everybody  yet.  I  haven't 
lived  here  quite  two  weeks.  It's  a  considerable  ways 
to  the  upper  end  of  the  town.  You  better -stay  here 
all  night.  Take  off  your  bonnet." 

"  No,"  I  says;  "I'll  rest  a  while,  I  reckon,  and  go 
on.  I  ain't  afeared  of  the  dark." 

She  said  she  wouldn't  let  me  go  by  myself,  but  her 
husband  would  be  in  by  and  by,  maybe  in  a  hour  and 
a  half,  and  she'd  send  him  along  with  me.  Then  she 

(85) 


86  Huckleberry  Finn 

got  to  talking  about  her  husband,  and  about  her  rela 
tions  up  the  river,  and  her  relations  down  the  river, 
and  about  how  much  better  off  they  used  to  was,  and 
how  they  didn't  know  but  they'd  made  a  mistake 
coming  to  our  town,  instead  of  letting  well  alone  — 
and  so  on  and  so  on,  till  I  was  afeard  /  had  made  a 
mistake  coming  to  her  to  find  out  what  was  going  on 
in  the  town ;  but  by  and  by  she  dropped  on  to  pap 
and  the  murder,  and  then  I  was  pretty  willing  to  let 
her  clatter  right  along.  She  told  about  me  and  Tom 
Sawyer  finding  the  six  thousand  dollars  (only  she  got 
it  ten)  and  all  about  pap  and  what  a  hard  lot  he  was, 
and  what  a  hard  lot  I  was,  and  at  last  she  got  down  to 
where  I  was  murdered.  I  says: 

"Who  done  it?  We've  heard  considerable  about 
these  goings  on  down  in  Hookerville,  but  we  don't 
know  who  'twas  that  killed  Huck  Finn." 

"Well,  I  reckon  there's  a  right  smart  chance  of 
people  here  that  'd  like  to  know  who  killed  him.  Some 
think  old  Finn  done  it  himself." 

"No  — is  that  so?" 

"Most  everybody  thought  it  at  first.  He'll  never 
know  how  nigh  he  come  to  getting  lynched.  But 
before  night  they  changed  around  and  judged  it  was 
done  by  a  runaway  nigger  named  Jim." 

"Why.**—" 

I  stopped.  I  reckoned  I  better  keep  still.  She  run 
on,  and  never  noticed  I  had  put  in  at  all : 

* '  The  nigger  run  off  the  very  night  Huck  Finn  was 
killed.  So  there's  a  reward  out  for  him  —  three  hun 
dred  dollars.  And  there's  a  reward  out  for  old  Finn, 
too  —  two  hundred  dollars.  You  see,  he  come  to  town 
the  morning  after  the  murder,  and  told  about  it,  and 
was  out  with  'em  on  the  ferryboat  hunt,  and  right 
away  after  he  up  and  left.  Before  night  they  wanted 
to  lynch  him,  but  he  was  gone,  you  see.  Well,  next 


Huckleberry  Finn  87 

day  they  found  out  the  nigger  was  gone ;  they  found 
out  he  hadn't  ben  seen  sence  ten  o'clock  the  night  the 
murder  was  done.  So  then  they  put  it  on  him,  you 
see;  and  while  they  was  full  of  it,  next  day,  back 
comes  old  Finn,  and  went  boo-hooing  to  Judge 
Thatcher  to  get  money  to  hunt  for  the  nigger  all  over 
Illinois  with.  The  judge  gave  him  some,  and  that 
evening  he  got  drunk,  and  was  around  till  after  mid 
night  with  a  couple  of  mighty  hard-looking  strangers, 
and  then  went  off  with  them.  Well,  he  hain't  come 
back  sence,  and  they  ain't  looking  for  him  back  till 
this  thing  blows  over  a  little,  for  people  thinks  now 
that  he  killed  his  boy  and  fixed  things  so  folks  would 
think  robbers  done  it,  and  then  he'd  get  Ruck's  money 
without  having  to  bother  a  long  time  with  a  lawsuit. 
People  do  say  he  warn't  any  too  good  to  do  it.  Oh, 
he's  sly,  I  reckon.  If  he  don't  come  back  for  a  year 
he'll  be  all  right.  You  can't  prove  anything  on  him, 
you  know;  everything  will  be  quieted  down  then,  and 
he'll  walk  in  Huck's  money  as  easy  as  nothing." 

'  Yes,  I  reckon  so,  'm.  I  don't  see  nothing  in  the 
way  of  it.  Has  everybody  quit  thinking  the  nigger 
done  it?" 

"  Oh,  no,  not  everybody.  A  good  many  thinks  he 
done  it.  But  they'll  get  the  nigger  pretty  soon  now, 
and  maybe  they  can  scare  it  out  of  him." 

"  Why,  are  they  after  him  yet?" 

"Well,  you're  innocent,  ain't  you!  Does  three 
hundred  dollars  lay  around  every  day  for  people  to 
pick  up?  Some  folks  think  the  nigger  ain't  far  from 
here.  I'm  one  of  them  —  but  I  hain't  talked  it  around. 
A  few  days  ago  I  was  talking  with  an  old  couple  that 
lives  next  door  in  the  log  shanty,  and  they  happened 
to  say  hardly  anybody  ever  goes  to  that  island  over 
yonder  that  they  call  Jackson's  Island.  Don't  any 
body  live  there?  says  I.  No,  nobody,  says  they.  I 


88  Huckleberry  Finn 

didn't  say  any  more,  but  I  done  some  thinking.  I 
was  pretty  near  certain  I'd  seen  smoke  over  there, 
about  the  head  of  the  island,  a  day  or  two  before  that, 
so  I  says  to  myself,  like  as  not  that  nigger's  hiding 
over  there;  anyway,  says  I,  it's  worth  the  trouble  to 
give  the  place  a  hunt.  I  hain't  seen  any  smoke  sence, 
so  I  reckon  maybe  he's  gone,  if  it  was  him;  but 
husband's  going  over  to  see  —  him  and  another  man. 
He  was  gone  up  the  river;  but  he  got  back  to-day, 
and  I  told  him  as  soon  as  he  got  here  two  hours  ago." 

I  had  got  so  uneasy  I  couldn't  set  still.  I  had  to  do 
something  with  my  hands ;  so  I  took  up  a  needle  off  of 
the  table  and  went  to  threading  it.  My  hands  shook, 
and  I  was  making  a  bad  job  of  it.  When  the  woman 
stopped  talking  I  looked  up,  and  she  was  looking  at 
me  pretty  curious  and  smiling  a  little.  I  put  down  the 
needle  and  thread,  and  let  on  to  be  interested  —  and  I 
was,  too  —  and  says: 

"Three  hundred  dollars  is  a  power  of  money.  I 
wish  my  mother  could  get  it.  Is  your  husband  going 
over  there  to-night?" 

"  Oh,  yes.  He  went  up-town  with  the  man  I  was 
telling  you  of,  to  get  a  boat  and  see  if  they  could 
borrow  another  gun.  They'll  go  over  after  midnight." 

"Couldn't  they  see  better  if  they  was  to  wait  till 
daytime?" 

"Yes.  And  couldn't  the  nigger  see  better,  too? 
After  midnight  he'll  likely  be  asleep,  and  they  can  slip 
around  through  the  woods  and  hunt  up  his  camp  fire 
all  the  better  for  the  dark,  if  he's  got  one." 

"I  didn't  think  of  that." 

The  woman  kept  looking  at  me  pretty  curious,  and 
I  didn't  feel  a  bit  comfortable.  Pretty  soon  she  says : 

"  What  did  you  say  your  name  was,  honey?" 

"M  —  Mary  Williams." 

Somehow  it  didn't  seem  to  me  that  I  said  it  was 


Huckleberry  Finn  89 

Mary  before,  so  I  didn't  look  up  —  seemed  to  me  I 
said  it  was  Sarah;  so  I  felt  sort  of  cornered,  and  was 
af eared  maybe  I  was  looking  it,  too.  I  wished  the 
woman  would  say  something  more ;  the  longer  she  set 
still  the  uneasier  I  was.  But  now  she  says: 

"  Honey,  I  thought  you  said  i-t  was  Sarah  when 
you  first  come  in?" 

"  Oh,  yes'm,  I  did.  Sarah  Mary  Williams.  Sarah's 
my  first  name.  Some  calls  me  Sarah,  some  calls  me 
Mary." 

"  Oh,  that's  the  way  of  it?" 

"  Yes'm." 

I  was  feeling  better  then,  but  I  wished  I  was  out  of 
there,  anyway.  I  couldn't  look  up  yet. 
£Well,  the  woman  fell  to  talking  about  how  hard 
times  was,  and  how  poor  they  had  to  live,  and  how  the 
rats  was  as  free  as  if  they  owned  the  place,  and  so 
forth  and  so  on,  and  then  I  got  easy  again.  She  was 
right  about  the  rats.  You'd  see  one  stick  his  nose  out 
of  a  hole  in  the  corner  every  little  while.  She  said  she 
had  to  have  things  handy  to  throw  at  them  when  she 
was  alone,  or  they  wouldn't  give  her  no  peace.  She 
showed  me  a  bar  of  lead  twisted  up  into  a  knot,  and 
said  she  was  a  good  shot  with  it  generly,  but  she'd 
wrenched  her  arm  a  day  or  two  ago,  and  didn't  know 
whether  she  could  throw  true  now.  But  she  watched 
for  a  chance,  and  directly  banged  away  at  a  rat;  but 
she  missed  him  wide,  and  said  "Ouch!"  it  hurt  her 
arm  so.  Then  she  told  me  to  try  for  the  next  one.  I 
wanted  to  be  getting  away  before  the  old  man  got 
back,  but  of  course  I  didn't  let  on.  I  got  the  thing, 
and  the  first  rat  that  showed  his  nose  I  let  drive,  and 
if  he'd  a  stayed  where  he  was  he'd  a  been  a  tolerable 
sick  rat.  She  said  that  was  first-rate,  and  she  reckoned 
I  would  hive  the  next  one.  She  went  and  got  the 
lump  of  lead  and  fetched  it  back,  and  brought  along  a 


90  Huckleberry  Finn 

hank  of  yarn  which  she  wanted  me  to  help  her  with. 
I  held  up  my  two  hands  and  she  put  the  hank  over 
them,  and  went  on  talking  about  her  and  her  husband's 
matters.  But  she  broke  off  to  say : 

*'  Keep  your  eye  on  the  rats.  You  better  have  the 
lead  in  your  lap,  handy." 

So  she  dropped  the  lump  into  my  lap  just  at  that 
moment,  and  I  clapped  my  legs  together  on  it  and  she 
went  on  talking.  But  only  about  a  minute.  Then 
she  took  off  the  hank  and  looked  me  straight  in  the 
face,  and  very  pleasant,  and  says : 

"  Come,  now,  what's  your  real  name?" 

11  Wh-what,  mum?" 

"What's  your  real  name?  Is  it  Bill,  or  Tom,  or 
Bob? — or  what  is  it?" 

I  reckon  I  shook  like  a  leaf,  and  I  didn't  know 
hardly  what  to  do.  But  I  says: 

"  Please  to  don't  poke  fun  at  a  poor  girl  like  me, 
mum.  If  I'm  in  the  way  here,  I'll — " 

*'  No,  you  won't.  Set  down  and  stay  where  you 
are.  I  ain't  going  to  hurt  you,  and  I  ain't  going  to 
tell  on  you,  nuther.  You  just  tell  me  your  secret,  and 
trust  me.  I'll  keep  it;  and,  what's  more,  I'll  help 
you.  So'll  my  old  man  if  you  want  him  to.  You 
see,  you're  a  runaway  'prentice,  that's  all.  It  ain't 
anything.  There  ain't  no  harm  in  it.  You've  been 
treated  bad,  and  you  made  up  your  mind  to  cut. 
Bless  you,  child,  I  wouldn't  tell  on  you.  Tell  me  all 
about  it  now,  that's  a  good  boy." 

So  I  said  it  wouldn't  be  no  use  to  try  to  play  it  any 
longer,  and  I  would  just  make  a  clean  breast  and  tell 
her  everything,  but  she  musn't  go  back  on  her  promise. 
Then  I  told  her  my  father  and  mother  was  dead,  and 
the  law  had  bound  me  out  to  a  mean  old  farmer  in  the 
country  thirty  mile  back  from  the  river,  and  he  treated 
me  so  bad  I  couldn't  stand  it  no  longer;  he  went  away 


Huckleberry  Finn  91 

to  be  gone  a  couple  of  days,  and  so  I  took  my  chance 
and  stole  some  of  his  daughter's  old  clothes  and 
cleared  out,  and  I  had  been  three  nights  coming  the 
thirty  miles.  I  traveled  nights,  and  hid  daytimes  and 
slept,  and  the  bag  of  bread  and  meat  I  carried  from 
home  lasted  me  all  the  way,  and  I  had  a-plenty.  I 
said  I  believed  my  uncle  Abner  Moore  would  take  care 
of  me,  and  so  that  was  why  I  struck  out  for  this  town 
of  Goshen. 

"Goshen,  child?  This  ain't  Goshen.  This  is  St. 
Petersburg.  Goshen 's  ten  mile  further  up  the  river. 
Who  told  you  this  was  Goshen?" 

"  Why,  a  man  I  met  at  daybreak  this  morning,  just 
as  I  was  going  to  turn  into  the  woods  for  my  regular 
sleep.  He  told  me  when  the  roads  forked  I  must  take 
the  right  hand,  and  five  mile  would  fetch  me  to 
Goshen." 

"He  was  drunk,  I  reckon.  He  told  you  just  ex 
actly  wrong." 

"  Well,  he  did  act  like  he  was  drunk,  but  it  ain't  no 
matter  now.  I  got  to  be  moving  along.  I'll  fetch 
Goshen  before  daylight." 

"  Hold  on  a  minute.  I'll  put  you  up  a  snack  to  eat. 
You  might  want  it." 

So  she  put  me  up  a  snack,  and  says : 

"  Say,  when  a  cow's  laying  down,  which  end  of  her 
gets  up  first?  Answer  up  prompt  now  —  don't  stop 
to  study  over  it.  Which  end  gets  up  first?" 

"  The  hind  end,  mum." 

"Well,  then,  ahorse?" 
1  The  for'rard  end,  mum." 

"  Which  side  of  a  tree  does  the  moss  grow  on?" 
'North  side." 

' '  If  fifteen  cows  is  browsing  on  a  hillside,  how 
many  of  them  eats  with  their  heads  pointed  the  same 
direction?" 


92  Huckleberry  Finn 

"The  whole  fifteen,  mum." 

"  Well,  I  reckon  you  have  lived  in  the  country.  I 
thought  maybe  you  was  trying  to  hocus  me  again. 
What's  your  real  name,  now?" 

"  George  Peters,  mum."^ 

"Well,  try  to  remember  it,  George.  Don't  forget 
and  tell  me  it's  Elexander  before  you  go,  and  then  get 
out  by  saying  it's  George  Elexander  when  I  catch  you. 
And  don't  go  about  women  in  that  old  calico.  You 
do  a  girl  tolerable  poor,  but  you  might  fool  men, 
maybe.  Bless  you,  child,  when  you  set  out  to  thread 
a  needle  don't  hold  the  thread  still  and  fetch  the  needle 
up  to  it;  hold  the  needle  still  and  poke  the  thread  at 
it;  that's  the  way  a  woman  most  always  does,  but  a 
man  always  does  t'other  way.  And  when  you  throw 
at  a  rat  or  anything,  hitch  yourself  up  a  tiptoe  and 
fetch  your  hand  up  over  your  head  as  awkward  as  you 
can,  and  miss  your  rat  about  six  or  seven  foot.  Throw 
stiff-armed  from  the  shoulder,  like  there  was  a  pivot 
there  for  it  to  turn  on,  like  a  girl;  not  from  the  wrist 
and  elbow,  with  your  arm  out  to  one  side,  like  a  boy. 
And,  mind  you,  when  a  girl  tries  to  catch  anything  in 
her  lap  she  throws  her  knees  apart;  she  don't  clap 
them  together,  the  way  you  did  when  you  catched  the 
lump  of  lead.  Why,  I  spotted  you  for  a  boy  when 
you  was  threading  the  needle;  and  I  contrived  the 
other  things  just  to  make  certain.  Now  trot  along  to 
your  uncle,  Sarah  Mary  Williams  George  Elexander 
Peters,  and  if  you  get  into  trouble  you  send  word  to 
Mrs.  Judith  Loftus,  which  is  me,  and  I'll  do  what  I 
can  to  get  you  out  of  it.  Keep  the  river  road  all  the 
way,  and  next  time  you  tramp  take  shoes  and  socks 
with  you.  The  river  road's  a  rocky  one,  and  your 
feet  '11  be  in  a  condition  when  you  get  to  Goshen,  I 
reckon." 

I  went  up   the  bank  about  fifty  yards,  and  then  I 


Huckleberry  Finn  93 

doubled  on  my  tracks  and  slipped  back  to  where  my 
canoe  was,  a  good  piece  below  the  house.  I  jumped 
in,  and  was  off  in  a  hurry.  I  went  up-stream  far 
enough  to  make  the  head  of  the  island,  and  then 
started  across.  I  took  off  the  sun-bonnet,  for  I  didn't 
want  no  blinders  on  then.  When  I  was  about  the 
middle  I  heard  the  clock  begin  to  strike,  so  I  stops 
and  listens ;  the  sound  come  faint  over  the  water  but 
clear  —  eleven.  When  I  struck  the  head  of  the  island 
I  never  waited  to  blow,  though  I  was  most  winded,  but 
I  shoved  right  into  the  timber  where  my  old  camp  used 
to  be,  and  started  a  good  fire  there  on  a  high  and  dry 
spot. 

Then  I  jumped  in  the  canoe  and  dug  out  for  our 
place,  a  mile  and  a  half  below,  as  hard  as  I  could  go. 
I  landed,  and  slopped  through  the  timber  and  up  the 
ridge  and  into  the  cavern.  There  Jim  laid,  sound 
asleep  on  the  ground.  I  roused  him  out  and  says: 

"Git  up  and  hump  yourself,  Jim!  There  ain't  a 
minute  to  lose.  They're  after  us!" 

Jim  never  asked  no  questions,  he  never  said  a  word ; 
but  the  way  he  worked  for  the  next  half  an  hour 
showed  about  how  he  was  scared.  By  that  time  every 
thing  we  had  in  the  world  was  on  our  raft,  and  she  was 
ready  to  be  shoved  out  from  the  willow  cove  where  she 
was  hid.  We  put  out  the  camp  fire  at  the  cavern  the 
first  thing,  and  didn't  show  a  candle  outside  after  that. 

I  took  the  canoe  out  from  the  shore  a  little  piece, 
and  took  a  look;  but  if  there  was  a  boat  around  I 
couldn't  see  it,  for  stars  and  shadows  ain't  good  to  see 
by.  Then  we  got  out  the  raft  and  slipped  along  down 
in  the  shade,  past  the  foot  of  the  island  dead  still — - 
never  saying  a  word. 


CHAPTER   XII. 

IT  must  a  been  close  on  to  one  o'clock  when  we 
got  below  the  island  at  last,  and  the  raft  did  seem 
to  go  mighty  slow.  If  a  boat  was  to  come  along  we 
was  going  to  take  to  the  canoe  and  break  for  the 
Illinois  shore;  and  it  was  well  a  boat  didn't  come,  for 
we  hadn't  ever  thought  to  put  the  gun  in  the  canoe, 
or  a  fishing-line,  or  anything  to  eat.  We  was  in 
ruther  too  much  of  a  sweat  to  think  of  so  many  things. 
It  warn't  good  judgment  to  put  everything  on  the  raft. 

If  the  men  went  to  the  island  I  just  expect  they 
found  the  camp  fire  I  built,  and  watched  it  all  night  for 
Jim  to  come.  Anyways,  they  stayed  away  from  us, 
and  if  my  building  the  fire  never  fooled  them  it  warn't 
no  fault  of  mine.  1  played  it  as  low  down  on  them  as 
I  could. 

When  the  first  streak  of  day  began  to  show  we  tied 
up  to  a  towhead  in  a  big  bend  on  the  Illinois  side,  and 
hacked  off  cottonwood  branches  with  the  hatchet, 
and  covered  up  the  raft  with  them  so  she  looked  like 
there  had  been  a  cave-in  in  the  bank  there.  A  tow- 
head  is  a  sandbar  that  has  cottonwoods  on  it  as  thick 
as  harrow- teeth. 

We  had  mountains  on  the  Missouri  shore  and  heavy 
timber  on  the  Illinois  side,  and  the  channel  was  down 
the  Missouri  shore  at  that  place,  so  we  warn't  afraid  of 
anybody  running  across  us.  We  laid  there  all  day, 
and  watched  the  rafts  and  steamboats  spin  down  the 

(94) 


Hucklebeny  Finn  95 

Missouri  shore,  and  up-bound  steamboats  fight  the  big 
river  in  the  middle.  I  told  Jim  all  about  the  time  1 
had  jabbering  with  that  woman ;  and  Jim  said  she  was 
a  smart  one,  and  if  she  was  to  start  after  us  herself  she 
wouldn't  set  down  and  watch  a  camp  fire  —  no,  sir, 
she'd  fetch  a  dog.  Well,  then,  I  said,  why  couldn't 
she  tell  her  husband  to  fetch  a  dog?  Jim  said  he  bet 
she  did  think  of  it  by  the  time  the  men  was  ready  to 
start,  and  he  believed  they  must  a  gone  up-town  to  get 
a  dog  and  so  they  lost  all  that  time,  or  else  we 
wouldn't  be  here  on  a  towhead  sixteen  or  seventeen 
mile  below  the  village  —  no,  indeedy,  we  would  be  in 
that  same  old  town  again.  So  I  said  I  didn't  care 
what  was  the  reason  they  didn't  get  us  as  long  as  they 
didn't. 

When  it  was  beginning  to  come  on  dark  we  poked 
our  heads  out  of  the  cottonwood  thicket,  and  looked 
up  and  down  and  across;  nothing  in  sight;  so  Jim 
took  up  some  of  the  top  planks  of  the  raft  and  built  a 
snug  wigwam  to  get  under  in  blazing  weather  and 
rainy,  and  to  keep  the  things  dry.  Jim  made  a  floor 
for  the  wigwam,  and  raised  it  a  foot  or  more  above  the 
level  of  the  raft,  so  now  the  blankets  and  all  the  traps 
was  out  of  reach  of  steamboat  waves.  Right  in  the 
middle  of  the  wigwam  we  made  a  layer  of  dirt  about 
five  or  six  inches  deep  with  a  frame  around  it  for  to 
hold  it  to  its  place;  this  was  to  build  a  fire  on  in 
sloppy  weather  or  chilly ;  the  wigwam  would  keep  it 
from  being  seen.  We  made  an  extra  steering-oar, 
too,  because  one  of  the  others  might  get  broke  on  a 
snag  or  something.  We  fixed  up  a  short  forked  stick 
to  hang  the  old  lantern  on,  because  we  must  always 
light  the  lantern  whenever  we  see  a  steamboat  coming 
down-stream,  to  keep  from  getting  run  over;  but  we 
wouldn't  have  to  light  it  for  up-stream  boats  unless  we 
see  we  was  in  what  they  call  a  ' '  crossing' ' ;  for  the 


96  Huckleberry  Finn 

river  was  pretty  high  yet,  very  low  banks  being  still  a 
little  under  water;  so  up-bound  boats  didn't  always 
run  the  channel,  but  hunted  easy  water. 

This  second  night  we  run  between  seven  and  eight 
hours,  with  a  current  that  was  making  over  four  mile 
an  hour.  We  catched  fish  and  talked,  and  we  took  a 
swim  now  and  then  to  keep  off  sleepiness.  It  was 
kind  of  solemn,  drifting  down  the  big,  still  river,  lay 
ing  on  our  backs  looking  up  at  the  stars,  and  we  didn't 
ever  feel  like  talking  loud,  and  it  warn't  often  that  we 
laughed  —  only  a  little  kind  of  a  low  chuckle.  We 
had  mighty  good  weather  as  a  general  thing,  and  noth 
ing  ever  happened  to  us  at  all  —  that  night,  nor  the 
next,  nor  the  next. 

Every  night  we  passed  towns,  some  of  them  away 
up  on  black  hillsides,  nothing  but  just  a  shiny  bed  of 
lights;  not  a  house  could  you  see.  The  fifth  night  we 
passed  St.  Louis,  and  it  was  like  the  whole  world  lit 
up.  In  St.  Petersburg  they  used  to  say  there  was 
twrenty  or  thirty  thousand  people  in  St.  Louis,  but  I 
never  believed  it  till  I  see  that  wonderful  spread  of 
lights  at  two  o'clock  that  still  night.  There  warn't  a 
sound  there;  everybody  was  asleep. 

Every  night  now  I  used  to  slip  ashore  towards  ten 
o'clock  at  some  little  village,  and  buy  ten  or  fifteen 
cents'  worth  of  meal  or  bacon  or  other  stuff  to  eat; 
and  sometimes  I  lifted  a  chicken  that  warn't  roosting 
comfortable,  and  took  him  along.  Pap  always  said, 
take  a  chicken  when  you  get  a  chance,  because  if  you 
don't  want  him  yourself  you  can  easy  find  somebody 
that  does,  and  a  good  deed  ain't  ever  forgot.  I  never 
see  pap  when  he  didn't  want  the  chicken  himself,  but 
that  is  what  he  used  to  say,  anyway. 

Mornings  before  daylight  I  slipped  into  cornfields 
and  borrowed  a  watermelon,  or  a  mushmelon,  or  a 
punkin,  or  some  new  corn,  or  things  of  that  kind. 


Huckleberry  Finn  97 

Pap  always  said  it  warn't  no  harm  to  borrow  things  if 
you  was  meaning  to  pay  them  back  some  time ;  but 
the  widow  said  it  warn't  anything  but  a  soft  name  for 
stealing,  and  no  decent  body  would  do  it.  Jim  said  he 
reckoned  the  widow  was  partly  right  and  pap  was  partly 
right;  so  the  best  way  would  be  for  us  to  pick  out  two 
or  three  things  from  the  list  and  say  we  wouldn't  borrow 
them  any  more  —  then  he  reckoned  it  wouldn't  be  no 
harm  to  borrow  the  others.  So  we  talked  it  over  all 
one  night,  drifting  along  down  the  river,  trying  to 
make  up  our  minds  whether  to  drop  the  watermelons, 
or  the  cantelopes,  or  the  mushmelons,  or  what.  But 
towards  daylight  we  got  it  all  settled  satisfactory,  and 
concluded  to  drop  crabapples  and  p'simmons.  We 
warn't  feeling  just  right  before  that,  but  it  was  all 
comfortable  now.  I  was  glad  the  way  it  come  out, 
too,  because  crabapples  ain't  ever  good,  and  the 
p'simmons  wouldn't  be  ripe  for  two  or  three  months 
yet. 

We  shot  a  water-fowl  now  and  then  that  got  up  too 
early  in  the  morning  or  didn't  go  to  bed  early  enough 
in  the  evening.  Take  it  all  round,  we  lived  pretty  high. 

The  fifth  night  below  St.  Louis  we  had  a  big  storm 
after  midnight,  with  a  power  of  thunder  and  lightning, 
and  the  rain  poured  down  in  a  solid  sheet.  We  stayed 
in  the  wigwam  and  let  the  raft  take  care  of  itself. 
When  the  lightning  glared  out  we  could  see  a  big 
straight  river  ahead,  and  high,  rocky  bluffs  on  both 
sides.  By  and  by  says  I,  "  Hel-/0,  Jim,  looky  yon 
der  J"  It  was  a  steamboat  that  had  killed  herself  on  a 
rock.  We  was  drifting  straight  down  for  her.  The 
lightning  showed  her  very  distinct.  She  was  leaning 
over,  with  part  of  her  upper  deck  above  water,  and 
you  could  see  every  little  chimbly-guy  clean  and  clear, 
and  a  chair  by  the  big  bell,  with  an  old  slouch  hat 
hanging  on  the  back  of  it,  when  the  flashes  come. 
1 


98  Huckleberry  Finn 

Well,  it  being  away  in  the  night  and  stormy,  and  all 
so  mysterious-like,  I  felt  just  the  way  any  other  boy 
would  a  felt  when  I  see  that  wreck  laying  there  so 
mournful  and  lonesome  in  the  middle  of  the  river.  I 
wanted  to  get  aboard  of  her  and  slink  around  a  little, 
and  see  what  there  was  there.  So  I  says : 

"  Le's  land  on  her,  Jim." 

But  Jim  was  dead  against  it  at  first.     He  says : 

"  I  doan'  want  to  go  fool'n  'long  er  no  wrack. 
We's  doin'  blame'  well,  en  we  better  let  blame'  well 
alone,  as  de  good  book  says.  Like  as  not  dey's  a 
watchman  on  dat  wrack." 

"  Watchman  your  grandmother,"  I  says;  "there 
ain't  nothing  to  watch  but  the  texas  and  the  pilot 
house;  and  do  you  reckon  anybody's  going  to  resk  his 
life  for  a  texas  and  a  pilot-house  such  a  night  as  this, 
when  it's  likely  to  break  up  and  wash  off  down  the 
river  any  minute?"  Jim  couldn't  say  nothing  to  that, 
so  he  didn't  try.  "And  besides,"  I  says,  "we  might 
borrow  something  worth  having  out  of  the  captain's 
stateroom.  Seegars,  /  bet  you  —  and  cost  five  cents 
apiece,  solid  cash.  Steamboat  captains  is  always  rich, 
and  get  sixty  dollars  a  month,  and  they  don't  care  a 
cent  what  a  thing  costs,  you  know,  long  as  they  want 
it.  Stick  a  candle  in  your  pocket;  I  can't  rest,  Jim, 
till  we  give  her  a  rummaging.  Do  you  reckon  Tom 
Sawyer  would  ever  go  by  this  thing?  Not  for  pie,  he 
wouldn't.  He'd  call  it  an  adventure  —  that's  what 
he'd  call  it;  and  he'd  land  on  that  wreck  if  it  was  his 
last  act.  And  wouldn't  he  throw  style  into  it?  — 
wouldn't  he  spread  himself,  nor  nothing?  Why, 
you'd  think  it  was  Christopher  C'lumbus  discovering 
Kingdom-Come.  I  wish  Tom  Sawyer  was  here." 

Jim  he  grumbled  a  little,  but  give  in.  He  said  we 
mustn't  talk  any  more  than  we  could  help,  and  then 
talk  mighty  low.  The  lightning  showed  us  the  wreck 


Huckleberry  Finn  99 

again  just  in  time,  and  we  fetched  the  stabboard 
derrick,  and  made  fast  there. 

The  deck  was  high  out  here.  We  went  sneaking  down 
the  slope  of  it  to  labboard,  in  the  dark,  towards  the 
texas,  feeling  our  way  slow  with  our  feet,  and  spreading 
our  hands  out  to  fend  off  the  guys,  for  it  was  so  dark 
we  couldn't  see  no  sign  of  them.  Pretty  soon  we 
struck  the  forward  end  of  the  skylight,  and  clumb  on 
to  it;  and  the  next  step  fetched  us  in  front  of  the 
captain's  door,  which  was  open,  and  by  Jimminy, 
away  down  through  the  texas-hall  we  see  a  light !  and 
all  in  the  same  second  we  seem  to  hear  low  voices  in 
yonder ! 

Jim  whispered  and  said  he  was  feeling  powerful 
sick,  and  told  me  to  come  along.  I  says,  all  right, 
and  was  going  to  start  for  the  raft;  but  just  then  I 
heard  a  voice  wail  out  and  say : 

"Oh,  please  don't,  boys;  I  swear  I  won't  ever 
tell!" 

Another  voice  said,  pretty  loud: 

"It's  a  lie,  Jim  Turner.  You've  acted  this  way 
before.  You  always  want  more'n  your  share  of  the 
truck,  and  you've  always  got  it,  too,  because  you've 
swore  't  if  you  didn't  you'd  tell.  But  this  time  you've 
said  it  jest  one  time  too  many.  You're  the  meanest, 
treacherousest  hound  in  this  country." 

By  this  time  Jim  was  gone  for  the  raft.  I  was  just 
a-biling  with  curiosity;  and  I  says  to  myself,  Tom 
Sawyer  wouldn't  back  out  now,  and  so  I  won't  either; 
I'm  a-going  to  see  what's  going  on  here.  So  I 
dropped  on  my  hands  and  knees  in  the  little  passage, 
and  crept  aft  in  the  dark  till  there  warn't  but  one 
stateroom  betwixt  me  and  the  cross-hall  of  the  texas. 
Then  in  there  I  see  a  man  stretched  on  the  floor  and 
tied  hand  and  foot,  and  two  men  standing  over  him, 
and  one  of  them  had  a  dim  lantern  in  his  hand,  and 


100  Huckleberry  Finn 

the  other  one  had  a  pistol.  This  one  kept  pointing 
the  pistol  at  the  man's  head  on  the  floor,  and  saying: 

"  I'd  like  to!     And  I  orter,  too  — a  mean  skunk!" 

The  man  on  the  floor  would  shrivel  up  and  say, 
11  Oh,  please  don't,  Bill;  I  hain't  ever  goin'  to  tell." 

And  every  time  he  said  that  the  man  with  the  lantern 
would  laugh  and  say: 

"  'Deed  you  ain't !  You  never  said  no  truer  thing 
'n  that,  you  bet  you."  And  once  he  said:  "Hear 
him  beg!  and  yit  if  we  hadn't  got  the  best  of  him  and 
tied  him  he'd  a  killed  us  both.  And  what/#rf  Jist 
for  noth'n.  Jist  because  we  stood  on  our  rights  — 
that's  what  for.  But  I  lay  you  ain't  a-goin'  to  threaten 
nobody  any  more,  Jim  Tujjier.  Put  up  that  pistol, 
Bill." 

Bill  says : 

"I  don't  want  to,  Jake. Packard*  I'm  for  killin' 

him  —  and  didn't  he  kill  old  Hatfield  jist  the  same 
way  —  and  don't  he  deserve  it?" 

"But  I  don't  want  him  killed,  and  I've  got  my 
reasons  for  it." 

"Bless  yo'  heart  for  them  words,  Jake  Packard! 
I'll  never  forgit  you  long's  I  live!"  says  the  man  on 
the  floor,  sort  of  blubbering. 

Packard  didn't  take  no  notice  of  that,  but  hung  up 
his  lantern  on  a  nail  and  started  towards  where  I  was, 
there  in  the  dark,  and  motioned  Bill  to  come.  I 
crawfished  as  fast  as  I  could  about  two  yards,  but  the 
boat  slanted  so  that  I  couldn't  make  very  good  time; 
so  to  keep  from  getting  run  over  and  catched  I  crawled 
into  a  stateroom  on  the  upper  side.  The  man  came  a- 
pawing  along  in  the  dark,  and  when  Packard  got  to 
my  stateroom,  he  says: 

"  Here  —  come  in  here." 

And  in  he  come,  and  Bill  after  him.  But  before 
they  got  in  I  was  up  in  the  upper  berth,  cornered,  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  101 

sorry  I  come.  Then  they  stood  there,  with  their  hands 
on  the  ledge  of  the  berth,  and  talked.  I  couldn't  see 
them,  but  I  could  tell  where  they  was  by  the  whisky 
they'd  been  having.  I  was  glad  I  didn't  drink  whisky; 
but  it  wouldn't  made  much  difference  anyway,  because 
most  of  the  time  they  couldn't  a  treed  me  because  I 
didn't  breathe.  I  was  too  scared.  And,  besides,  a 
body  cotildn't  breathe  and  hear  such  talk.  They 
talked  low  and  earnest.  Bill^wanted  to  killJTurner. 
He  says: 

"He's  said  he'll  tell,  and  he  will.  If  we  was  to 
give  both  our  shares  to  him  now  it  wouldn't  make  no 
difference  after  the  row  and  the  way  we've  served  him. 
Shore's  you're  born,  he'll  turn  State's  evidence;  now 
you  hear  me.  I'm  for  putting  him  out  of  his  troubles." 

"  So'm  I,"  says  Packard,  very  quiet. 

"Blame  it,  I'd  sorter  begun  to  think  you  wasn't. 
Well,  then,  that's  all  right.  Le's  go  and  do  it." 

"  Hold  on  a  minute;  I  hain't  had  my  say  yit.  You 
listen  to  me.  Shooting's  good,  but  there's  quieter 
ways  if  the  thing's  got  to  be  done.  But  what  /  say  is 
this:  it  ain't  good  sense  to  go  court'n  around  after  a 
halter  if  you  can  git  at  what  you're  up  to  in  some 
way  that's  jist  as  good  and  at  the  same  time  don't 
bring  you  into  no  resks.  Ain't  that  so?" 

"You  bet  it  is.  But  how  you  goin'  to  manage  it 
this  time?" 

"  Well,  my  idea  is  this :  we'll  rustle  around  and  gather 
up  whatever  pickins  we've  overlooked  in  the  state 
rooms,  and  shove  for  shore  and  hide  the  truck.  Then 
we'll  wait.  Now  I  say  it  ain't  a-goin'  to  be  more'n 
two  hours  befo'  this  wrack  breaks  up  and  washes  off 
down  the  river.  See?  He'll  be  drownded,  and  won't 
have  nobody  to  blame  for  it  but  his  own  self.  I 
reckon  that's  a  considerble  sight  better  'n  killin'  of 
him.  I'm  unfavorable  to  killin'  a  man  as  long  as  you 


102  Huckleberry  Finn 

can  git  aroun'  it;  it  ain't  good  sense,  it  ain't  good 
morals.  Ain't  I  right?" 

"Yes,  I  reck'n  you  are.  But  s'pose  she  don't 
break  up  and  wash  off?" 

4  *  Well,  we  can  wait  the  two  hours  anyway  and  see, 
can't  we?" 

"All  right,  then;   come  along." 

So  they  started,  and  I  lit  out,  all  in  a  cold  sweat, 
and  scrambled  forward.  It  was  dark  as  pitch  there; 
but  I  said,  in  a  kind  of  a  coarse  whisper,  "  Jim  !"  and 
he  answered  up,  right  at  my  elbow,  with  a  sort  of  a 
moan,  and  I  says: 

"  Quick,  Jim,  it  ain't  no  time  for  fooling  around 
and  moaning;  there's  a  gang  of  murderers  in  yonder, 
and  if  we  don't  hunt  up  their  boat  and  set  her  drifting 
down  the  river  so  these  fellows  can't  get  away  from  the 
wreck  there's  one  of  'em  going  to  be  in  a  bad  fix. 
But  if  we  find  their  boat  we  can  put  all  of  'em  in  a 
bad  fix  —  for  the  sheriff  '11  get  'em.  Quick  —  hurry! 
I'll  hunt  the  labboard  side,  you  hunt  the  stabboard. 
You  start  at  the  raft,  and — " 

11  Oh,  my  lordy,  lordy !  Raf  ?  Dey  ain'  no  raf 
no  mo';  she  done  broke  loose  en  gone! — en  here 
we  is!" 


CHAPTER   XIII. 

WELL,  I  catched  my  breath  and  most  fainted. 
Shut  up  on  a  wreck  with  such  a  gang  as  that ! 
But  it  warn't  no  time  to  be  sentimentering.  We'd  got 
to  find  that  boat  now  —  had  to  have  it  for  ourselves. 
So  we  went  a-quaking  and  shaking  down  the  stabboard 
side,  and  slow  work  it  was,  too  —  seemed  a  week  be 
fore  we  got  to  the  stern.  No  sign  of  a  boat.  Jim 
said  he  didn't  believe  he  could  go  any  further  —  so 
scared  he  hadn't  hardly  any  strength  left,  he  said. 
But  I  said,  come  on,  if  we  get  left  on  this  wreck  we 
are  in  a  fix,  sure.  So  on  we  prowled  again.  We 
struck  for  the  stern  of  the  texas,  and  found  it,  and 
then  scrabbled  along  forwards  on  the  skylight,  hanging 
on  from  shutter  to  shutter,  for  the  edge  of  the  skylight 
was  in  the  water.  When  we  got  pretty  close  to  the 
cross-hall  door  there  was  the  skiff,  sure  enough !  I 
could  just  barely  see  her.  I  felt  ever  so  thankful.  In 
another  second  I  would  a  been  aboard  of  her,  but  just 
then  the  door  opened.  One  of  the  men  stuck  his  head 
out  only  about  a  couple  of  foot  from  me,  and  I  thought 
I  was  gone;  but  he  jerked  it  in  again,  and  says: 
41  Heave  that  blame  lantern  out  o'  sight,  Bill !" 
He  flung  a  bag  of  something  into  the  boat,  and  then 
got  in  himself  and  set  down.  It  was  Packard.  Then 
Bill  he  come  out  and  got  in.  Packard  says,  in  a  low 
voice : 

4 'All  ready  — shove  off!" 

(103) 


104  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  couldn't  hardly  hang  on  to  the  shutters,  I  was  so 
weak.  But  Bill  says : 

"  Hold  on — 'd  you  go  through  him?" 

"No.     Didn't  you?" 

"  No.     So  he's  got  his  share  o'  the  cash  yet." 

"  Well,  then,  come  along;  no  use  to  take  truck  and 
leave  money." 

"  Say,  won't  he  suspicion  what  we're  up  to?" 

"  Maybe  he  won't.  But  we  got  to  have  it  anyway. 
Come  along." 

So  they  got  out  and  went  in. 

The  door  slammed  to  because  it  was  on  the  careened 
side;  and  in  a  half  second  I  was  in  the  boat,  and  Jim 
come  tumbling  after  me.  I  out  with  my  knife  and  cut 
the  rope,  and  away  we  went ! 

We  didn't  touch  an  oar,  and  we  didn't  speak  nor 
whisper,  nor  hardly  even  breathe.  We  went  gliding 
swift  along,  dead  silent,  past  the  tip  of  the  paddle- 
box,  and  past  the  stern ;  then  in  a  second  or  two  more 
we  was  a  hundred  yards  below  the  wreck,  and  the 
darkness  soaked  her  up,  every  last  sign  of  her,  and  we 
was  safe,  and  knowed  it. 

When  we  was  three  or  four  hundred  yards  down 
stream  we  see  the  lantern  show  like  a  little  spark  at  the 
texas  door  for  a  second,  and  we  knowed  by  that  that 
the  rascals  had  missed  their  boat,  and  was  beginning 
to  understand  that  they  was  in  just  as  much  trouble  now 
as  Jim  Turner  was. 

Then  Jim  manned  the  oars,  and  we  took  out  after 
our  raft.  -Now  was  the  first  time  that  I  begun  to  worry 
about  the  men — I  reckon  I  hadn't  had  time  to  before. 
I  begun  to  think  how  dreadful  it  was,  even  for  mur 
derers,  to  be  in  such  a  fix.  I  says  to  myself,  there 
ain't  no  telling  but  I  might  come  to  be  a  murderer 
myself  yet,  and  then  how  would  I  like  it?  So  says  I 
to  Jim : 


Huckleberry  Finn  105 

f  *  The  first  light  we  see  we'll  land  a  hundred  yards 
below  it  or  above  it,  in  a  place  where  it's  a  good 
hiding-place  for  you  and  the  skiff,  and  then  I'll  go  and 
fix  up  some  kind  of  a  yarn,  and  get  somebody  to  go 
for  that  gang  and  get  them  out  of  their  scrape,  so  they 
can  be  hung  when  their  time  comes." 

But  that  idea  was  a  failure ;  for  pretty  soon  it  begun 
to  storm  again,  and  this  time  worse  than  ever.  The 
rain  poured  down,  and  never  a  light  showed;  every 
body  in  bed,  I  reckon.  We  boomed  along  down  the 
river,  watching  for  lights  and  watching  for  our  raft. 
After  a  long  time  the  rain  let  up,  but  the  clouds 
stayed,  and  the  lightning  kept  whimpering,  and  by  and 
by  a  flash  showed  us  a  black  thing  ahead,  floating,  and 
we  made  for  it. 

It  was  the  raft,  and  mighty  glad  was  we  to  get 
aboard  of  it  again.  We  seen  a  light  now  away  down 
to  the  right,  on  shore.  So  I  said  I  would  go  for  it. 
The  skiff  was  half  full  of  plunder  which  that  gang  had 
stole  there  on  the  wreck.  We  hustled  it  on  to  the  raft 
in  a  pile,  and  I  told  Jim  to  float  along  down,  and  show 
a  light  when  he  judged  he  had  gone  about  two  mile, 
and  keep  it  burning  till  I  come ;  then  I  manned  my 
oars  and  shoved  for  the  light.  As  I  got  down  towards 
it  three  or  four  more  showed  —  up  on  a  hillside.  It 
was  a  village.  I  closed  in  above  the  shore  light,  and 
laid  on  my  oars  and  floated.  As  I  went  by  I  see  it 
was  a  lantern  hanging  on  the  jackstaff  of  a  double-hull 
ferryboat.  I  skimmed  around  for  the  watchman,  a- 
wondering  whereabouts  he  slept;  and  by  and  by  I 
found  him  roosting  on  the  bitts  forward,  with  his  head 
down  between  his  knees.  I  gave  his  shoulder  two  or 
three  little  shoves,  and  begun  to  cry. 

He  stirred  up  in  a  kind  of  a  startlish  way ;   but  when 
he  see  it  was  only  me  he  took  a  good  gap  and  stretch 
and  then  he  says : 


106  Huckleberry  Finn 

^  "Hello,  what's  up?  Don't  cry,  bub.  What's  the 
trouble?" 

I  says: 

"  Pap,  and  mam,  and  sis,  and  —  " 

Then  I  broke  down.     He  says: 

"  Oh,  dang  it  now,  don't  take  on  so;  we  all  has  to 
have  our  troubles,  and  this  'n  '11  come  out  all  right. 
What's  the  matter  with  'em?" 

;  *  They're  —  they're  —  are  you  the  watchman  of  the 
boat?" 

'Yes,"  he  says,  kind  of  pretty-well-satisfied  like. 
"I'm  the  captain  and  the  owner  and  the  mate  and  the 
pilot  and  watchman  and  head  deck-hand  ;  and  some 
times  I'm  the  freight  and  passengers.  I  ain't  as  rich 
as  old  Jim  Hornback,  and  I  can't  be  so  blame'  gener 
ous  and  good  to  Tom,  Dick,  and  Harry  as  what  he  is, 
and  slam  around  money  the  way  he  does;  but  I've 
told  him  a  many  a  time  't  I  wouldn't  trade  places  with 
him;  for,  says  I,  a  sailor's  life's  the  life  for  me,  and 
I'm  denied  if  Pd  live  two  mile  out  o'  town,  where 
there  ain't  nothing  ever  goin'  on,  not  for  all  his  spon 
dulicks  and  as  much  more  on  top  of  it.  Says  I  —  " 

I  broke  in  and  says  : 

"  They're  in  an  awful  peck  of  trouble,  and  —  " 


"Why,  pap   and   mam   and   sis  and  Miss  Hooker; 
and  if  you'd  take  your  ferryboat  and  go  up  there  —  " 

'  '  Up  where  ?     Where  are  they  ?" 

"On  the  wreck." 

"What  wreck?" 

"  Why,  there  ain't  but  one." 

"  What,  you  don't  mean  the  Walter  Scott?" 
'Yes." 

"  Good  land  !  what  are  they  doin'  there,  for  gracious 
aakes?" 

"Well,  they  didn't  go  there  a-purpose." 


Huckleberry  Finn  107 

41 1  bet  they  didn't!  Why,  great  goodness,  there 
ain't  no  chance  for  'em  if  they  don't  git  off  mighty 
quick !  Why,  how  in  the  nation  did  they  ever  git  into 
such  a  scrape?" 

44  Easy  enough.  Miss  Hooker  was  a-visiting  up 
there  to  the  town — " 

"Yes,  Booth's  Landing — go  on." 

"  She  was  a-visiting  there  at  Booth's  Landing,  and 
just  in  the  edge  of  the  evening  she  started  over  with 
her  nigger  woman  in  the  horse-ferry  to  stay  all  night 
at  her  friend's  house,  Miss  What-you-may-call-her  —  I 
disremember  her  name  —  and  they  lost  their  steering- 
oar,  and  swung  around  and  went  a-floating  down, 
stern  first,  about  two  mile,  and  saddle-baggsed  on  the 
wreck,  and  the  ferryman  and  the  nigger  woman  and 
the  horses  was  all  lost,  but  Miss  Hooker  she  made  a 
grab  and  got  aboard  the  wreck.  Well,  about  an  hour 
after  dark  we  come  along  down  in  our  trading-scow, 
and  it  wras  so  dark  we  didn't  notice  the  wreck  till  we 
was  right  on  it;  and  so  we  saddle-baggsed;  but  all  of 
us  was  saved  but  Bill  Whipple  —  and  oh,  he  was  the 
best  cretur  ! —  I  most  wish  't  it  had  been  me,  I  do." 

44  My  George!  It's  the  beatenest  thing  I  ever 
struck.  And  then  what  did  you  all  do?" 

"Well,  we  hollered  and  took  on,  but  it's  so  wide 
there  we  couldn't  make  nobody  hear.  So  pap  said 
somebody  got  to  get  ashore  and  get  help  somehow.  I 
was  the  only  one  that  could  swim,  so  I  made  a  dash 
for  it,  and  Miss  Hooker  she  said  if  I  didn't  strike  help 
sooner,  come  here  and  hunt  up  her  uncle,  and  he'd 
fix  the  thing.  I  made  the  land  about  a  mile  below, 
and  been  fooling  along  ever  since,  trying  to  get  people 
to  do  something,  but  they  said,  '  What,  in  such  a  night 
and  such  a  current?  There  ain't  no  sense  in  it;  go 
for  the  steam  ferry.'  Now  if  you'll  go  and — " 

"By  Jackson,  I'd   like  to,   and,   blame   it,  I   don't 


108  Huckleberry  Finn 

know  but  I  will ;  but  who  in  the  dingnation^  a-going' 
to  pay  for  it?  Do  you  reckon  your  pap — ''_j 

"  Why  that's  all  right.  Miss  Hooker  she  tole  me, 
partictdar,  that  her  uncle  Hornback — ' ' 

<4  Great  guns!  is  he  her  uncle?  Looky  here,  you 
break  for  that  light  over  yonder-way,  and  turn  out 
west  when  you  git  there,  and  about  a  quarter  of  a  mile 
out  you'll  come  to  the  tavern;  tell  'em  to  dart  you 
out  to  Jim  Hornback's,  and  he'll  foot  the  bill.  And 
don't  you  fool  around  any,  because  he'll  want  to  know 
the  news.  Tell  him  I'll  have  his  niece  all  safe  before 
he  can  get  to  town.  Hump  yourself,  now;  I'm  a- 
going  up  around  the  corner  here  to  roust  out  my 
engineer/' 

I  struck  for  the  light,  but  as  soon  as  he  turned  the 
corner  I  went  back  and  got  into  my  skiff  and  bailed  her 
out,  and  then  pulled  up  shore  in  the  easy  water  about 
six  hundred  yards,  and  tucked  myself  in  among  some 
woodboats;  for  I  couldn't  rest  easy  till  I  could  see 
the  ferryboat  start.  But  take  it  all  around,  I  was  feel 
ing  ruther  comfortable  on  accounts  of  taking  all  this 
trouble  for  that  gang,  for  not  many  would  a  done  it. 
I  wished  the  widow  knowed  about  it.  I  judged  she 
would  be  proud  of  me  for  helping  these  rapscallions, 
because  rapscallions  and  dead  beats  is  the  kind  the 
widow  and  good  people  takes  the  most  interest  in. 

Well,  before  long  here  comes  the  wreck,  dim  and 
dusky,  sliding  along  down !  A  kind  of  cold  shiver 
went  through  me,  and  then  I  struck  out  for  her.  She 
was  very  deep,  and  I  see  in  a  minute  there  warn't  much 
chance  for  anybody  being  alive  in  her.  I  pulled  all 
around  her  and  hollered  a  little,  but  there  wasn't  any 
answer;  all  dead  still.  I  felt  a  little  bit  heavy-hearted 
about  the  gang,  but  not  much,  for  I  reckoned  if  they 
could  stand  it  I  could. 

Then  here  comes  the  ferryboat;   so  I  shoved  for  the 


Huckleberry  Finn  109 

middle  of  the  river  on  a  long  down-stream  slant;  and 
when  I  judged  I  was  out  of  eye-reach  I  laid  on  my 
oars,  and  looked  back  and  see  her  go  and  smell  around 
the  wreck  for  Miss  Hooker's  remainders,  because  the 
captain  would  know  her  uncle  Hornback  would  want 
them ;  and  then  pretty  soon  the  ferryboat  give  it  up 
and  went  for  the  shore,  and  I  laid  into  my  work  and 
went  a-booming  down  the  river. 

It  did  seem  a  powerful  long  time  before  Jim's  light 
showed  up ;  and  when  it  did  show  it  looked  like  it  was 
a  thousand  mile  off.  By  the  time  I  got  there  the  sky 
was  beginning  to  get  a  little  gray  in  the  east;  so  we 
struck  for  an  island,  and  hid  the  raft,  and  sunk  the 
skiff,  and  turned  in  and  slept  like  dead  people. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

BY  and  by,  when  we  got  up,  we  turned  over  the 
truck  the  gang  had  stole  off  of  the  wreck,  and 
found  boots,  and  blankets,  and  clothes,  and  all  sorts  of 
other  things,  and  a  lot  of  books,  and  a  spyglass,  and 
three  boxes  of  seegars.  We  hadn't  ever  been  this  rich 
before  in  neither  of  our  lives.  The  seegars  was  prime. 
We  laid  off  all  the  afternoon  in  the  woods  talking,  and 
me  reading  the  books,  and  having  a  general  good  time. 
I  told  Jim  all  about  what  happened  inside  the  wreck 
and  at  the  ferryboat,  and  I  said  these  kinds  of  things 
was  adventures ;  but  he  said  he  didn't  want  no  more 
adventures.  He  said  that  when  I  went  in  the  texas 
and  he  crawled  back  to  get  on  the  raft  and  found  her 
gone  he  nearly  died,  because  he  judged  it  was  all  up 
with  him  anyway  it  could  be  fixed;  for  if  he  didn't  get 
saved  he  would  get  drownded ;  and  if  he  did  get 
saved,  whoever  saved  him  would  send  him  back  home 
so  as  to  get  the  reward,  and  then  Miss  Watson  would 
sell  him  South,  sure.  Well,  he  was  right;  he  was 
most  always  right;  he  had  an  uncommon  level  head 
for  a  nigger. 

I  read  considerable  to  Jim  about  kings  and  dukes 
and  earls  and  such,  and  how  gaudy  they  dressed,  and 
how  much  style  they  put  on,  and  called  each  other 
your  majesty,  and  your  grace,  and  your  lordship,  and 
so  on,  'stead  of  mister;  and  Jim's  eyes  bugged  out, 
and  he  was  interested.  He  says: 

(no) 


Huckleberry  Finn  111 

"  I  didn'  know  dey  was  so  many  un  um.  I  hain't 
hearn  'bout  none  un  um,  skasely,  but  ole  King  Soller- 
mun,  onless  you  counts  dem  kings  dat's  in  a  pack  er 
k'yards.  How  much  do  a  king  git?" 

"  Get?"  I  says;  "  why,  they  get  a  thousand  dollars 
a  month  if  they  want  it;  they  can  have  just  as  much 
as  they  want;  everything  belongs  to  them." 

"Ainy  dat  gay?     En  what  dey  got  to  do,  Huck?" 

11  They  don't  do  nothing!  Why,  how  you  talk! 
They  just  set  around." 

"No;   is  dat  so?" 

"Of  course  it  is.  They  just  set  around  —  except, 
maybe,  when  there's  a  war;  then  they  go  to  the  war. 
But  other  times  they  just  lazy  around ;  or  go  hawking 
—  just  hawking  and  sp —  Sh  ! —  d'  you  hear  a  noise ?' ' 

We  skipped  out  and  looked;  but  it  warn't  nothing 
but  the  flutter  of  a  steamboat's  wheel  away  down, 
coming  around  the  point;  so  we  come  back. 

'Yes,"  says  I,  "and  other  times,  when  things  is 
dull,  they  fuss  with  the  parlyment;  and  if  everybody 
don't  go  just  so  he  whacks  their  heads  off.  But 
mostly  they  hang  round  the  harem." 

"Roun'  de  which?" 

"Harem." 

"What's  de  harem?" 

"The  place  where  he  keeps  his  wives.  Don't  you 
know  about  the  harem?  Solomon  had  one;  he  had 
about  a  million  wives." 

"Why,  yes,  dat's  so;  I  —  I'd  done  forgot  it.  A 
harem's  a  bo'd'n-house,  I  reck'n.  Mos'  likely  dey 
has  rackety  times  in  de  nussery.  En  I  reck'n  de  wives 
quarrels  considable;  en  dat 'crease  de  racket.  Yit  dey 
say  Sollermun  de  wises'  man  dat  ever  live'.  I  doan' 
take  no  stock  in  dat.  Bekase  why :  would  a  wise  man 
want  to  live  in  de  mids'  er  sich  a  blim-blammin'  all  de 
time'?  No — 'deed  he  wouldn't.  A  wise  man  'ud  take 


112  Huckleberry  Finn 

en  buil'  a  biler-factry ;  en  den  he  could  shet  down  de 
biler-factry  when  he  want  to  res'." 

"Well,  but  he  was  the  wisest  man,  anyway;  be 
cause  the  widow  she  told  me  so,  her  own  self." 

"  I  doan  k'yer  what  de  widder  say,  he  warn't  no 
wise  man  nuther.  He  had  some  er  de  dad-fetchedes' 
ways  I  ever  see.  Does  you  know  'bout  dat  chile  dat 
he  'uz  gwyne  to  chop  in  two?" 

14  Yes,  the  widow  told  me  all  about  it." 

44  Well,  den!  Warn'  dat  de  beatenes'  notion  in  de 
worl' ?  You  jes'  take  en  look  at  it  a  minute.  Dah's 
de  stump,  dah  —  dat's  one  er  de  women;  heah's  you 
—  dat's  de  yuther  one;  I's  Sollermun;  en  dish  yer 
dollar  bill's  de  chile.  Bofe  un  you  claims  it.  W'hat 
does  I  do?  Does  I  shin  aroun'  mongs'  de  neighbors 
en  fine  out  which  un  you  de  bill  do  b'long  to,  en  han' 
it  over  to  de  right  one,  all  safe  en  soun',  de  way  dat 
anybody  dat  had  any  gumption  would?  No;  I  take 
en  whack  de  bill  in  two,  en  give  half  un  it  to  you,  en 
de  yuther  half  to  de  yuther  woman.  Dat's  de  way 
Sollermun  was  gwyne  to  do  wid  de  chile.  Now  I 
want  to  astyou:  what's  de  use  er  dat  half  a  bill?  — 
can't  buy  noth'n  wid  it.  En  what  use  is  a  half  a 
chile?  I  wouldn'  give  a  dern  for  a  million  un  urn." 

"  But  hang  it,  Jim,  you've  clean  missed  the  point  — 
blame  it,  you've  missed  it  a  thousand  mile." 

"  Who?  Me?  Go  'long.  Doan'  talk  to  me  'bout 
yo'  pints.  I  reck'n  I  knows  sense  when  I  sees  it;  en 
dey  ain'  no  sense  in  sich  doin's  as  dat.  De  'spute 
warn't  'bout  a  half  a  chile,  de  'spute  was  'bout  a 
whole  chile;  en  de  man  dat  think  he  kin  settle  a 
'spute  'bout  a  whole  chile  wid  a  half  a  chile  doan' 
know  enough  to  come  in  out'n  de  rain.  Doan'  talk 
to  me  'bout  Sollermun,  Huck,  I  knows  him  by  de  back. ' ' 

44  But  I  tell  you  you  don't  get  the  point." 

"  Blame  de  point!     I  reck'n  I  knows  what  I  knows. 


Huckleberry  Finn  113 

En  mine  you,  de  real  pint  is  down  furder  —  it's  down 
deeper.  It  lays  in  de  way  Sollermun  was  raised. 
You  take  a  man  dat's  got  on'y  one  or  two  chillen ;  is 
dat  man  gwyne  to  be  waseful  o'  chillen?  No,  he 
ain't;  he  can't  'ford  it.  He  know  how  to  value  'em. 
But  you  take  a  man  dat's  got  'bout  five  million  chillen 
runnin'  roun'  de  house,  en  it's  diffunt.  He  as  soon 
chop  a  chile  in  two  as  a  cat.  Dey's  plenty  mo'.  A 
chile  er  two,  mo'  er  less,  warn't  no  consekens  to 
Sollermun,  dad  fatch  him!" 

I  never  see  such  a  nigger.  If  he  got  a  notion  in  his 
head  once,  there  warn't  no  getting  it  out  again.  He 
was  the  most  down  on  Solomon  of  any  nigger  I  ever 
see.  So  I  went  to  talking  about  other  kings,  and  let 
Solomon  slide.  I  told  about  Louis  Sixteenth  that  got 
his  head  cut  off  in  France  long  time  ago ;  and  about 
his  little  boy  the  dolphin,  that  would  a  been  a  king, 
but  they  took  and  shut  him  up  in  jail,  and  some  say  he 
died  there. 

4Po'  little  chap." 

4  *  But  some  says  he  got  out  and  got  away,  and  come 
to  America." 

"  Dat's  good!  But  he'll  be  pooty  lonesome  —  dey 
ain'  no  kings  here,  is  dey,  Huck?" 

"No." 

44  Den  he  cain't  git  no  situation.  What  he  gwyne 
to  do?" 

44  Well,  I  don't  know.  Some  of  them  gets  on  the 
police,  and  some  of  them  learns  people  how  to  talk 
French." 

14  Why,  Huck,  doan'  de  French  people  talk  de  same 
way  we  does?" 

"No,  Jim;  you  couldn't  understand  a  word  they 
said  —  not  a  single  word." 

44  Well,  now,  I  be  ding-busted!  How  do  dat 
come?" 


114  Huckleberry  Finn 

"/  don't  know;  but  it's  so.  I  got  some  of  their 
jabber  out  of  a  book.  S'pose  a  man  was  to  come  to 
you  and  say  Polly-voo-franzy  —  what  would  you 
think?" 

"  I  wouldn'  think  nuff' n;  I'd  take  en  bust  him  over 
de  head  —  dat  is,  if  he  warn't  white.  I  wouldn't  'low 
no  nigger  to  call  me  dat." 

"  Shucks,  it  ain't  calling  you  anything.  It's  only 
saying,  do  you  know  how  to  talk  French?" 

11  Well,  den,  why  couldn't  he  say  it?" 

"Why,  he  is  a-saying  it.  That's  a  Frenchman's 
way  of  saying  it." 

"  Well,  it's  a  blame  ridicklous  way,  en  I  doan'  want 
.tojiear  no  mo'  'bout  it.  Dey  ain'  no  sense  in  it." 

"  Looky  here,  Jim ;  does  a  cat  talk  like  we  do?" 

"No,  a  cat  don't." 

"Well,  does  a  cow?" 

11  No,  a  cow  don't,  nuther." 

'  *  Does  a  cat  talk  like  a  cow,  or  a  cow  talk  like  a 
cat?" 

"No,  dey  don't." 

"It's  natural  and  right  for  'em  to  talk  different  from 
each  other,  ain't  it?" 

"Course." 

"  And  ain't  it  natural  and  right  for  a  cat  and  a  cow 
to  talk  different  from  us  ?" 

"Why,  mos'  sholy  it  is." 

"Well,  then,  why  ain't  it  natural  and  right  for  a 
Frenchman  to  talk  different  from  us?  You  answer  me 
that." 

"  Is  a  cat  a  man,  Huck?" 

"7¥o." 

'Well,  den,  dey  ain't  no  sense  in  a  cat  talkin'  like  a 
Jian.     Is  a  cow  a  man?  —  er  is  a  cow  a  cat?" 
vNo,  she  ain't  either  of  them." 

"  Well,  den,  she  ain't  got  no  business  to  talk  like 


Huckleberry  Finn  115 

either  one  er  the  yuther  of  'em.  Is  a  Frenchman  a 
man?" 

"Yes." 

"  Well,  den !  Dad  blame  it,  why  doan'  he  talk  like 
a  man  ?  You  answer  me  dat  /' ' 

I  see  it  warn't  no  use  wasting  words  —  you  can't 
learn  a  nigger  to  argue.  So  I  quit.  " 


CHAPTER   XV. 

\V /E  judged  that  three  nights  more  would  fetch  us  to 
W  Cairo,  at  the  bottom  of  Illinois,  where  the  Ohio 
River  comes  in,  and  that  was  what  we  was  after.  We 
would  sell  the  raft  and  get  on  a  steamboat  and  go  way 
up  the  Ohio  amongst  the  free  States,  and  then  be  out 
of  trouble. 

Well,  the  second  night  a  fog  begun  to  come  on,  and 
we  made  for  a  towhead  to  tie  to,  for  it  wouldn't  do  to 
try  to  run  in  a  fog;  but  when  I  paddled  ahead  in  the 
canoe,  with  the  line  to  make  fast,  there  warn't  any 
thing  but  little  saplings  to  tie  to.  I  passed  the  line 
around  one  of  them  right  on  the  edge  of  the  cut  bank, 
but  there  was  a  stiff  current,  and  the  raft  come  boom 
ing  down  so  lively  she  tore  it  out  by  the  roots  and 
away  she  went.  I  see  the  fog  closing  down,  and  it 
made  me  so  sick  and  scared  I  couldn't  budge  for  most 
a  half  a  minute  it  seemed  to  me  —  and  then  there  warn't 
no  raft  in  sight;  you  couldn't  see  twenty  yards.  I 
jumped  into  the  canoe  and  run  back  to  the  stern,  and 
grabbed  the  paddle  and  set  her  back  a  stroke.  But 
she  didn't  come.  I  was  in  such  a  hurry  I  hadn't 
untied  her.  I  got  up  and  tried  to  untie  her,  but  I  was 
so  excited  my  hands  shook  so  I  couldn't  hardly  do 
anything  with  them. 

As  soon  as  I  got  started  I  took  out  after  the  raft, 
hot  and  heavy,  right  down  the  towhead.  That  was 
all  right  as  far  as  it  went,  but  the  towhead  warn't 
sixty  yards  long,  and  the  minute  I  flew  by  the  foot  of 

(116) 


Huckleberry  Finn  117 

it  I  shot  out  into  the  solid  white  fog,  and  hadn't  no 
more  idea  which  way  I  was  going  than  a  dead  man. 

Thinks  I,  it  won't  do  to  paddle;  first  I  know  I'll 
run  into  the  bank  or  a  towhead  or  something;  I  got 
to  set  still  and  float,  and  yet  it's  mighty  fidgety  busi 
ness  to  have  to  hold  your  hands  still  at  such  a  time.  I 
whooped  and  listened.  Away  down  there  somewheres 
I  hears  a  small  whoop,  and  up  comes  my  spirits.  I 
went  tearing  after  it,  listening  sharp  to  hear  it  again. 
The  next  time  it  come  I  see  I  warn't  heading  for  it, 
but  heading  away  to  the  right  of  it.  And  the  next 
time  I  was  heading  away  to  the  left  of  it  —  and  not 
gaining  on  it  much  either,  for  I  was  flying  around,  this 
way  and  that  and  t'other,  but  it  was  going  straight 
ahead  all  the  time. 

I  did  wish  the  fool  would  think  to  beat  a  tin  pan, 
and  beat  it  all  the  time,  but  he  never  did,  and  it  was 
the  still  places  between  the  whoops  that  was  making 
the  trouble  for  me.  Well,  I  fought  along,  and  directly 
I  hears  the  whoop  behind  me.  I  was  tangled  good 
now.  That  was  somebody  else's  whoop,  or  else  I  was 
turned  around. 

I  thro  wed  the  paddle  down.  I  heard  the  whoop 
again ;  it  was  behind  me  yet,  but  in  a  different  place ; 
it  kept  coming,  and  kept  changing  its  place,  and  I  kept 
answering,  till  by  and  by  it  was  in  front  of  me  again, 
and  I  knowed  the  current  had  swung  the  canoe's  head 
down-stream,  and  I  was  all  right  if  that  was  Jim  and 
not  some  other  raftsman  hollering.  I  couldn't  tell 
nothing  about  voices  in  a  fog,  for  nothing  don't  look 
natural  nor  sound  natural  in  a  fog. 

The  whooping  went  on,  and  in  about  a  minute  I 
come  a-booming  down  on  a  cut  bank  with  smoky 
ghosts  of  big  trees  on  it,  and  the  current  throwed  me 
off  to  the  left  and  shot  by,  amongst  a  lot  of  snags  that 
fairly  roared,  the  currrent  was  tearing  by  them  so  swift. 


118  Huckleberry  Finn 

In  another  second  or  two  it  was  solid  white  and  still 
again.  I  set  perfectly  still  then,  listening  to  my  heart 
thump,  and  I  reckon  I  didn't  draw  a  breath  while  it 
thumped  a  hundred. 

I  just  give  up  then.  I  knowed  what  the  matter  was. 
That  cut  bank  was  an  island,  and  Jim  had  gone  down 
t'other  side  of  it.  It  warn't  no  towhead  that  you 
could  float  by  in  ten  minutes.  It  had  the  big  timber 
of  a  regular  island ;  it  might  be  five  or  six  miles  long 
and  more  than  half  a  mile  wide. 

I  kept  quiet,  with  my  ears  cocked,  about  fifteen 
minutes,  I  reckon.  I  was  floating  along,  of  course, 
four  or  five  miles  an  hour;  but  you  don't  ever  think 
of  that.  No,  you  feel  like  you  are  laying  dead  still  on 
the  water ;  and  if  a  little  glimpse  of  a  snag  slips  by 
you  don't  think  to  yourself  how  fast  you' re  going,  but 
you  catch  your  breath  and  think,  my!  how  that  snag's 
tearing  along.  If  you  think  it  ain't  dismal  and  lone 
some  out  in  a  fog  that  way  by  yourself  in  the  night, 
you  try  it  once  —  you'll  see. 

Next,  for  about  a  half  an  hour,  I  whoops  now  and 
then ;  at  last  I  hears  the  answer  a  long  ways  off,  and 
tries  to  follow  it,  but  I  couldn't  do  it,  and  directly  I 
judged  I'd  got  into  a  nest  of  towheads,  for  I  had  little 
dim  glimpses  of  them  on  both  sides  of  me  —  sometimes 
just  a  narrow  channel  between,  and  some  that  I 
couldn't  see  I  knowed  was  there  because  I'd  hear  the 
wash  of  the  current  against  the  old  dead  brush  and 
trash  that  hung  over  the  banks.  Well,  I  warn't  long 
loosing  the  whoops  down  amongst  the  towheads ;  and 
I  only  tried  to  chase  them  a  little  while,  anyway,  be 
cause  it  was  worse  than  chasing  a  Jack-o'-lantern. 
You  never  knowed  a  sound  dodge  around  so,  and 
swap  places  so  quick  and  so  much. 

I  had  to  claw  away  from  the  bank  pretty  lively  four 
or  five  times,  to  keep  from  knocking  the  islands  out  of 


Huckleberry  Finn  119 

the  river;  and  so  I  judged  the  raft  must  be  butting 
into  the  bank  every  now  and  then,  or  else  it  would  get 
further  ahead  and  clear  out  of  hearing — it  was  floating 
a  little  faster  than  what  I  was. 

Well,  I  seemed  to  be  in  the  open  river  again  by  and 
by,  but  I  couldn't  hear  no  sign  of  a  whoop  nowheres. 
I  reckoned  Jim  had  fetched  up  on  a  snag,  maybe,  and 
it  was  all  up  with  him.  I  was  good  and  tired,  so  I  laid 
down  in  the  canoe  and  said  I  wouldn't  bother  no 
more.  I  didn't  want  to  go  to  sleep,  of  course;  but  I 
was  so  sleepy  I  couldn't  help  it;  so  I  thought  I  would 
take  jest  one  little  cat-nap. 

But  I  reckon  it  was  more  than  a  cat-nap,  for  when  I 
waked  up  the  stars  was  shining  bright,  the  fog  was  all 
gone,  and  I  was  spinning  down  a  big  bend  stern  first. 
First  I  didn't  know  where  I  was;  I  thought  I  was 
dreaming;  and  when  things  began  to  come  back  to  me 
they  seemed  to  come  up  dim  out  of  last  week. 

It  was  a  monstrous  big  river  here,  with  the  tallest 
and  the  thickest  kind  of  timber  on  both  banks ;  just  a 
solid  wall,  as  well  as  I  could  see  by  the  stars.  I  looked 
away  down-stream,  and  seen  a  black  speck  on  the 
water.  I  took  after  it;  but  when  I  got  to  it  it  warn't 
nothing  but  a  couple  of  sawlogs  made  fast  together. 
Then  I  see  another  speck,  and  chased  that;  then 
another,  and  this  time  I  was  right.  It  was  the  raft. 

When  I  got  to  it  Jim  was  setting  there  with  his  head 
down  between  his  knees,  asleep,  with  his  right  arm 
hanging  over  the  steering-oar.  The  other  oar  was 
smashed  off,  and  the  raft  was  littered  up  with  leaves 
and  branches  and  dirt.  So  she'd  had  a  rough  time. 

I  made  fast  and  laid  down  under  Jim's  nose  on  the 
raft,  and  began  to  gap,  and  stretch  my  fists  out  against 
Jim,  and  says: 

"  Hello,  Jim,  have  I  been  asleep?  Why  didn't  you 
stir  me  up?" 


120  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Goodness  gracious,  is  dat  you,  Huck?  En  you 
ain'  dead  —  you  ain'  drownded  —  you's  back  agin? 
It's  too  good  for  true,  honey,  it's  too  good  for  true. 
Lemme  look  at  you  chile,  lemme  feel  o'  you.  No, 
you  ain'  dead!  you's  back  agin,  'live  en  soun',  jis  de 
same  ole  Huck  —  de  same  ole  Huck,  thanks  to  good 
ness!" 

"What's  the  matter  with  you,  Jim?  You  been  a- 
drinking?" 

"Drinkin'?  Has  I  ben  a-drinkin' ?  Has  I  had  a 
chance  to  be  a-drinkin'?" 

"  Well,  then,  what  makes  you  talk  so  wild?" 

"How  does  I  talk  wild?" 

"How?  Why,  hain't  you  been  talking  about  my 
coming  back,  and  all  that  stuff,  as  if  I'd  been  gone 
away?" 

"  Huck  —  Huck  Finn,  you  look  me  in  de  eye;  look 
me  in  de  eye.  Hain't  you  ben  gone  away?" 

"  Gone  away?  Why,  what  in  the  nation  do  you 
mean?  /hain't  been  gone  anywheres.  Where  would 
I  go  to?" 

"Well,  looky  here,  boss,  dey's  sumf'n  wrong,  dey 
is.  Is  I  me,  or  who  is  I?  Is  I  heah,  or  whah  is  I? 
Now  dat's  what  I  wants  to  know." 

"Well,  I  think  you're  here,  plain  enough,  but  I 
think  you're  a  tangle-headed  old  fool,  Jim." 

"  I  is,  is  I?  Well,  you  answer  me  dis:  Didn't  you 
tote  out  de  line  in  de  canoe  fer  to  make  fas'  to  de  tow- 
head?" 

"No,  I  didn't.  What  tow-head?  I  hain't  see  no 
tow-head." 

"You  hain't  seen  no  towhead?  Looky  here,  didn't 
/de  line  pull  loose  en  de  raf  go  a-hummin'  down  de 
/  river,  en  leave  you  en  de  canoe  behine  in  de  fog?  " 

"What  fog?" 

"  Why,  de  fog! — de  fog  dat's  been  aroun'  all  night. 


Huckleberry  Finn  121 

En  didn't  you  whoop,  en  didn't  I  whoop,  tell  we  got 
mix'  up  in  de  islands  en  one  un  us  got  los'  en  t'other 
one  was  jis'  as  good  as  los',  'kase  he  didn'  know  whah 
he  wuz?  En  didn't  I  bust  up  agin  a  lot  er  dem  islands 
en  have  a  tumble  time  en  mos'  gitdrownded?  Now 
ain'  dat  so,  boss  —  ain't  it  so?  You  answer  me  dat." 

11  Well,  this  is  too  many  for  me,  Jim.  I  hain't  seen 
no  fog,  nor  no  islands,  nor  no  troubles,  nor  nothing. 
I  been  setting  here  talking  with  you  all  night  till  you 
went  to  sleep  about  ten  minutes  ago,  and  I  reckon  I 
done  the  same.  You  couldn't  a  got  drunk  in  that 
time,  so  of  course  you've  been  dreaming." 

1 '  Dad  fetch  it,  how  is  I  gwyne  to  dream  all  dat  in 
ten  minutes?" 

"  Well,  hang  it  all,  you  did  dream  it,  because  there 
didn't  any  of  it  happen." 

"  But,  Huck,  it's  all  jis'  as  plain  to  me  as — " 

"  It  don't  make  no  difference  how  plain  it  is;  there 
ain't  nothing  in  it.  I  know,  because  I've  been  here 
all  the  time." 

Jim  didn't  say  nothing  for  about  five  minutes,  but 
set  there  studying  over  it.  Then  he  says : 

"Well,  den,  I  reck'n  I  did  dream'  it,  Huck;  but 
dog  my  cats  ef  it  ain't  de  powerfullest  dream  I  ever 
see.  En  I  hain't  ever  had  no  dream  b'fo'  dat's  tired 
me  like  dis  one." 

"  Oh,  well,  that's  all  right,  because  a  dream  does 
tire  a  body  like  everything  sometimes.  But  this  one 
was  a  staving  dream;  tell  me  all  about  it,  Jim." 

So  Jim  went  to  work  and  told  me  the  whole  thing 
right  through,  just  as  it  happened,  only  he  painted  it 
up  considerable.  Then  he  said  he  must  start  in  and 
*  'terpret"  it,  because  it  was  sent  for  a  warning.  He 
said  the  first  towhead  stood  for  a  man  that  would  try 
to  do  us  some  good,  but  the  current  was  another  man 
that  would  get  us  away  from  him.  The  whoops  was 


122  Huckleberry  Finn 

warnings  that  would  come  to  us  every  now  and  then, 
and  if  we  didn't  try  hard  to  make  out  to  understand 
them  they'd  just  take  us  into  bad  luck,  'stead  of  keep 
ing  us  out  of  it.  The  lot  of  towheads  was  troubles 
we  was  going  to  get  into  with  quarrelsome  people  and 
all  kinds  of  mean  folks,  but  if  we  minded  our  business 
and  didn't  talk  back  and  aggravate  them,  we  would 
pull  through  and  get  out  of  the  fog  and  into  the  big 
clear  river,  which  was  the  free  States,  and  wouldn't 
have  no  more  trouble. 

It  had  clouded  up  pretty  dark  just  after  I  got  on  to 
the  raft,  but  it  was  clearing  up  again  now. 

"  Oh,  well,  that's  all  interpreted  well  enough  as  far 
as  it  goes,  Jim,"  I  says;  "  but  what  does  these  things 
stand  for?" 

It  was  the  leaves  and  rubbish  on  the  raft  and  the 
smashed  oar.  You  could  see  them  first-rate  now. 

Jim  looked  at  the  trash,  and  then  looked  at  me,  and 
back  at  the  trash  again.  He  had  got  the  dream  fixed 
so  strong  in  his  head  that  he  couldn't  seem  to  shake  it 
loose  and  get  the  facts  back  into  its  place  again  right 
away.  But  when  he  did  get  the  thing  straightened 
around  he  looked  at  me  steady  without  ever  smiling, 
and  says: 

4 *  What  do  dey  stan'  for?  I'se  gwyne  to  tell  you. 
When  I  got  all  wore  out  wid  work,  en  wid  de  callin' 
for  you,  en  went  to  sleep,  my  heart  wuz  mos'  broke 
bekase  you  wuz  los',  en  I  didn'  k'yer  no'  mo'  what 
become  er  me  en  de  raf.  En  when  I  wake  up  en  fine 
you  back  agin,  all  safe  en  soun',  de  tears  come,  en  I 
could  a  got  down  on  my  knees  en  kiss  yo'  foot,  I's  so 
thankful.  En  all  you  wuz  thinkin'  'bout  wuz  how  you 
could  make  a  fool  uv  ole  Jim  wid  a  lie.  Dat  truck  dah 
is  trash  ;  en  trash  is  what  people  is  dat  puts  dirt  on  de 
head  er  dey  fren's  en  makes  'em  ashamed." 

Then  he  got  up  slow  and  walked  to  the  wigwam, 


Huckleberry  Finn  123 

and  went  in  there  without  saying  anything  but  that. 
But  that  was  enough.  It  made  me  feel  so  mean  I 
could  almost  kissed  his  foot  to  get  him  to  take  it  back. 
It  was  fifteen  minutes  before  I  could  work  myself  up 
to  go  and  humble  myself  to  a  nigger;  but  I  done  it, 
and  I  warn't  ever  sorry  for  it  afterwards,  neither.  I 
didn't  do  him  no  more  mean  tricks,  and  I  wouldn't 
done  that  one  if  I'd  a  knowed  it  would  make  him  feel 
that  way. 


CHAPTER   XVI. 

WE  slept  most  all  day,  and  started  out  at  night,  a 
little  ways  behind  a  monstrous  long  raft  that 
was  as  long  going  by  as  a  procession.  She  had  four 
long  sweeps  at  each  end,  so  we  judged  she  carried  as 
many  as  thirty  men,  likely.  She  had  five  big  wigwams 
aboard,  wide  apart,  and  an  open  camp  fire  in  the  mid 
dle,  and  a  tall  flag-pole  at  each  end.  There  was  a 
power  of  style  about  her.  It  amounted  to  something 
being  a  raftsman  on  such  a  craft  as  that. 

We  went  drifting  down  into  a  big  bend,  and  the 
night  clouded  up  and  got  hot.  The  river  was  very 
wide,  and  was  walled  with  solid  timber  on  both  sides ; 
you  couldn't  see  a  break  in  it  hardly  ever,  or  a  light. 
We  talked  about  Cairo,  and  wondered  whether  we 
would  know  it  when  we  got  to  it.  I  said  likely  we 
wouldn't,  because  I  had  heard  say  there  warn't  but 
about  a  dozen  houses  there,  and  if  they  didn't  happen 
to  have  them  lit  up,  how  was  we  going  to  know  we 
was  passing  a  town?  Jim  said  if  the  two  big  rivers 
joined  together  there,  that  would  show.  But  I  said 
maybe  we  might  think  we  was  passing  the  foot  of  an 
island  and  coming  into  the  same  old  river  again.  That 
disturbed  Jim  —  and  me  too.  So  the  question  was, 
what  to  do?  I  said,  paddle  ashore  the  first  time  a 
light  showed,  and  tell  them  pap  was  behind,  coming 
along  with  a  trading-scow,  and  was  a  green  hand  at 
the  business,  and  wanted  to  know  how  far  it  was  to 

(124) 


Huckleberry  Finn  125 

Cairo.  Jim  thought  it  was  a  good  idea,  so  we  took  a 
smoke  on  it  and  waited. 

There  warn't  nothing  to  do  now  but  to  look  out 
sharp  for  the  town,  and  not  pass  it  without  seeing  it. 
He  said  he'd  be  mighty  sure  to  see  it,  because  he'd  be 
a  free  man  the  minute  he  seen  it,  but  if  he  missed  it 
he'd  be  in  a  slave  country  again  and  no  more  show  for 
freedom.  Every  little  while  he  jumps  up  and  says: 

"Dah  she  is?" 

But  it  warn't.  It  was  Jack-o'-lanterns,  or  lightning 
bugs;  so  he  set  down  again,  and  went  to  watching, 
same  as  before.  Jim  said  it  made  him  all  ovd  vrembly 
and  feverish  to  be  so  close  to  freedom.  Well,  I  can 
tell  you  it  made  me  all  over  trembly  and  feverish,  too, 
to  hear  him,  because  I  begun  to  get  it  through  my 
head  that  he  was  most  free  —  and  who  was  to  blame 
for  it?  Why,  me.  I  couldn't  get  that  out  of  my  con 
science,  no  how  nor  no  way.  It  got  to  troubling  me 
so  I  couldn't  rest;  I  couldn't  stay  still  in  one  place. 
It  hadn't  ever  come  home  to  me  before,  what  this 
thing  was  that  I  was  doing.  But  now  it  did ;  and  it 
stayed  with  me,  and  scorched  me  more  and  more.  I 
tried  to  make  out  to  myself  that /warn't  to  blame, 
because  / didn't  run  Jim  off  from  his  rightful  owner; 
but  it  warn't  no  use,  conscience  up  and  says,  every 
time,  "But  you  knowed  he  was  running  for  his  free 
dom,  and  you  could  a  paddled  ashore  and  told  some 
body."  That  was  so  —  I  couldn't  get  around  that 
noway.  That  was  where  it  pinched.  Conscience  says 
to  me,  "What  had  poor  Miss  Watson  done  to  you 
that  you  could  see  her  nigger  go  off  right  under  your 
eyes  and  never  say  one  single  word?  What  did  that 
poor  old  woman  do  to  you  that  you  could  treat  her  so 
mean?  Why,  she  tried  to  learn  you  your  book,  she  tried 
to  learn  you  your  manners,  she  tried  to  be  good  to  you 
every  way  she  knowed  how.  That's  what  she  done." 


126  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  got  to  feeling  so  mean  and  so  miserable  I  most  wished 
I  was  dead.  I  fidgeted  up  and  down  the  raft,  abusing 
myself  to  myself,  and  Jim  was  fidgeting  up  and  down 
past  me.  We  neither  of  us  could  keep  still.  Every 
time  he  danced  around  and  says,  "  Dah's  Cairo !"  it 
went  through  me  like  a  shot,  and  I  thought  if  it  was 
Cairo  I  reckoned  I  would  die  of  miserableness. 

Jim  talked  out  loud  all  the  time  while  I  was  talking 
to  myself.  He  was  saying  how  the  first  thing  he 
would  do  when  he  got  to  a  free  State  he  would  go  to 
saving  up  money  and  never  spend  a  single  cent,  and 
when  he  got  enough  he  would  buy  his  wife,  which  was 
owned  on  a  farm  close  to  where  Miss  Watson  lived ; 
and  then  they  would  both  work  to  buy  the  two  chil 
dren,  and  if  their  master  wouldn't  sell  them,  they'd 
get  an  Ab'litionist  to  go  and  steal  them. 

It  most  froze  me  to  hear  such  talk.  He  wouldn't 
ever  dared  to  talk  such  talk  in  his  life  before.  Just 
see  what  a  difference  it  made  in  him  the  minute  he 
judged  he  was  about  free.  It  was  according  to  the  old 
saying,  '*  Give  a  nigger  an  inch  and  he'll  take  an  ell." 
Thinks  I,  this  is  what  comes  of  my  not  thinking. 
Here  was  this  nigger,  which  I  had  as  good  as  helped 
to  run  away,  coming  right  out  flat-footed  and  saying 
he  would  steal  his  c'hildren  —  children  that  belonged  to 
a  man  I  didn't  even  know;  a  man  that  hadn't  ever 
done  me  no  harm. 

I  was  sorry  to  hear  Jim  say  that,  it  was  such  a 
lowering  of  him.  My  conscience  got  to  stirring  me  up 
hotter  than  ever,  until  at  last  I  says  to  it,  *f  Let  up  on 
me  —  it  ain't  too  late  yet  —  I'll  paddle  ashore  at  the 
first  light  and  tell."  I  felt  easy  and  happy  and  light 
as  a  feather  right  off.  All  my  troubles  was  gone.  I 
went  to  looking  out  sharp  for  a  light,  and  sort  of  sing 
ing  to  myself.  By  and  by  one  showed.  Jim  sings 
out; 


Huckleberry  Finn  127 

"  We's  safe,  Huck,  we's  safe!  Jump  up  and  crack 
yo'  heels !  Dat's  de  good  ole  Cairo  at  las',  I  jis  knows 
it!" 

I  says: 

"I'll  take  the  canoe  and  go  and  see,  Jim.  It 
mightn't  be,  you  know." 

He  jumped  and  got  the  canoe  ready,  and  put  his  old 
coat  in  the  bottom  for  me  to  set  on,  and  give  me  the 
paddle ;  and  as  I  shoved  off,  he  says : 

"  Pooty  soon  I'll  be  a-shout'n'  for  joy,  en  I'll  say, 
it's  all  on  accounts  o*  Huck;  I's  a  free  man,  en  I 
couldn't  ever  ben  free  ef  it  hadn'  ben  for  Huck;  Huck 
done  it.  Jim  won't  ever  forgit  you,  Huck;  you's  de 
bes'  fren'  Jim's  ever  had;  en  you's  de  only  fren'  ole 
Jim's  got  now." 

I  was  paddling  off,  all  in  a  sweat  to  tell  on  him ;  but 
when  he  says  this,  it  seemed  to  kind  of  take  the  tuck 
all  out  of  me.  I  went  along  slow  then,  and  I  warn't 
right  down  certain  whether  I  was  glad  I  started  or 
whether  I  warn't.  When  I  was  fifty  yards  off,  Jim 
says: 

"  Dah  you  goes,  de  ole  true  Huck;  de  on 'y  white 
genlman  dat  ever  kep'  his  promise  to  ole  Jim." 

Well,  I  just  felt  sick.  But  I  says,  I  got  to  do  it  —  I 
can't  get  out  of  it.  Right  then  along  comes  a  skiff 
with  two  men  in  it  with  guns,  and  they  stopped  and  I 
stopped.  One  of  them  says: 

"  What's  that  yonder?" 

"A  piece  of  a  raft,"  I  says. 

"  Do  you  belong  on  it?" 

"Yes,  sir." 

"Any  men  on  it?" 

"Only  one,  sir." 

14  Well,  there's  five  niggers  run  off  to-night  up  yon 
der,  above  the  head  of  the  bend.  Is  your  man  white 
or  black?" 


128  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  didn't  answer  up  prompt.  I  tried  to,  but  the 
words  wouldn't  come.  I  tried  for  a  second  or  two  to 
brace  up  and  out  with  it,  but  I  warn't  man  enough  — 
hadn't  the  spunk  of  a  rabbit.  I  see  I  was  weakening; 
so  I  just  give  up  trying,  and  up  and  says: 

"He's  white." 

"  I  reckon  we'll  go  and  see  for  ourselves." 

"I  wish  you  would,"  says  I,  "because  it's  pap 
that's  there,  and  maybe  you'd  help  me  tow  the  raft 
ashore  where  the  light  is.  He's  sick  —  and  so  is  mam 
and  Mary  Ann." 

"Oh,  the  devil!  we're  in  a  hurry,  boy.  But  I 
s'pose  we've  got  to.  Come,  buckle  to  your  paddle, 
and  let's  get  along." 

I  buckled  to  my  paddle  and  they  laid  to  their  oars. 
When  we  had  made  a  stroke  or  two,  I  says: 

"Pap  '11  be  mighty  much  obleeged  to  you,  I  can 
tell  you.  Everybody  goes  away  when  I  want  them  to 
help  me  tow  the  raft  ashore,  and  I  can't  do  it  by 
myself." 

"Well,  that's  infernal  mean.  Odd,  too.  Say,  boy. 
what's  the  matter  with  your  father?" 

"  It's  the — a — the — well,  it  ain't  anything  much." 

They  stopped  pulling.  It  warn't  but  a  mighty  little 
ways  to  the  raft  now.  One  says : 

"  Boy,  that's  a  lie.  What  is  the  matter  with  your 
pap?  Answer  up  square  now,  and  it'll  be  the  better 
for  you." 

"I  will,  sir,  I  will,  honest — but  don't  leave  us, 
please.  It's  the — the —  Gentlemen,  if  you'll  only 
pull  ahead,  and  let  me  heave  you  the  headline,  you 
won't  have  to  come  a-near  the  raft  —  please  do." 

"Set  her  back,  John,  set  her  back!"  says  one. 
They  backed  water.  "Keep  away,  boy  — -keep  to 
looard.  Confound  it,  I  just  expect  the  wind  has 
blowed  it  to  us.  Your  pap's  got  the  small-pox,  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  129 

you  know  it  precious  well.     Why  didn't  you  come  out 
and  say  so?     Do  you  want  to  spread  it  all  over?" 

"Well,"  says  I,  a-blubbering,  "  I've  told  every 
body  before,  and  they  just  went  away  and  left  us." 

"  Poor  devil,  there's  something  in  that.  We  are 
right  down  sorry  for  you,  but  we  —  well,  hang  it,  we 
don't  want  the  small-pox,  you  see.  Look  here,  I'll 
tell  you  what  to  do.  Don't  you  try  to  land  by  your 
self,  or  you'll  smash  everything  to  pieces.  You  float 
along  down  about  twenty  miles,  and  you'll  come  to  a 
town  on  the  left-hand  side  of  the  river.  It  will  be 
long  after  sun-up  then,  and  when  you  ask  for  help 
you  tell  them  your  folks  are  all  down  with  chills  and 
fever.  Don't  be  a  fool  again,  and  let  people  guess 
what  is  the  matter.  Now  we're  trying  to  do  you  a 
kindness;  so  you  just  put  twenty  miles  between  us, 
that's  a  good  boy.  It  wouldn't  do  any  good  to  land 
yonder  where  the  light  is  —  it's  only  a  wood-yard. 
Say,  I  reckon  your  father's  poor,  and  I'm  bound  to 
say  he's  in  pretty  hard  luck.  Here,  I'll  put  a  twenty- 
dollar  gold  piece  on  this  board,  and  you  get  it  when  it 
floats  by.  I  feel  mighty  mean  to  leave  you ;  but  my 
kingdom !  it  won't  do  to  fool  with  small-pox,  don't 
you  see?" 

"  Hold  on,  Parker,"  says  the  other  man,  "  here's  a 
twenty  to  put  on  the  board  for  me.  Good-bye,  boy; 
you  do  as  Mr.  Parker  told  you,  and  you'll  be  all 
right." 

'  That's  so,  my  boy —  good-bye,  good-bye.  If  you 
see  any  runaway  niggers  you  get  help  and  nab  them, 
and  you  can  make  some  money  by  it." 

11  Good-bye,  sir,"  says  I;  "I  won't  let  no  runaway 
niggers  get  by  me  if  I  can  help  it." 

They  went  off  and  I  got  aboard  the  raft,  feeling  bad 
and    low,    because    I    knowed    very   well    I   had   done 
wrong,  and   I   see   it  warn't   no   use  for  me  to  try  to 
9 


130  Huckleberry  Finn 

learn  to  do  right;  a  body  that  don't  get  started  right 
when  he's  little  ain't  got  no  show  —  when  the  pinch 
comes  there  ain't  nothing  to  back  him  up  and  keep 
him  to  his  work,  and  so  he  gets  beat.  Then  I  thought 
a  minute,  and  says  to  myself,  hold  on;  s'pose  you'd  a 
done  right  and  give  Jim  up,  would  you  felt  better  than 
what  you  do  now?  No,  says  I,  I'd  feel  bad  —  I'd  feel 
just  the  same  way  I  do  now.  Well,  then,  says  I, 
what's  the  use  you  learning  to  do  right  when  it's 
troublesome  to  do  right  and  ain't  no  trouble  to  do 
wrong,  and  the  wages  is  just  the  same?  I  was  stuck. 
I  couldn't  answer  that.  So  I  reckoned  I  wouldn't 
bother  no  more  about  it,  but  after  this  always  do 
whichever  come  handiest  at  the  time. 

I  went  into  the  wigwam;  Jim  warn't  there.    I  looked 
all  around;   he  warn't  anywhere.     I  says: 

"Jim!" 

II  Here  I  is,  Huck.     Is  dey  out  o'  sight  yit?     Don't 
talk  loud." 

He  was  in  the  river  under  the  stern  oar,  with  just 
his  nose  out.  I  told  him  they  were  out  of  sight,  so  he 
come  aboard.  He  says: 

"I  was  a-listenin'  to  all  de  talk,  en  I  slips  into  de 
river  en  was  gwyne  to  shove  for  sho*  if  dey  come 
aboard.  Den  I  was  gwyne  to  swim  to  de  raf  agin 
when  dey  was  gone.  But  lawsy,  how  you  did  fool 
'em,  Huck  !  Dat  wuz  de  smartes*  dodge  !  I  tell  you, 
chile,  I'spec  it  save'  ole  Jim  —  ole  Jim  ain't  going  to 
forgit  you  for  dat,  honey." 

Then  we  talked  about  the  money.  It  was  a  pretty 
good  raise  —  twenty  dollars  apiece.  Jim  said  we  could 
take  deck  passage  on  a  steamboat  now,  and  the  money 
would  last  us  as  far  as  we  wanted  to  go  in  the  free 
States.  He  said  twenty  mile  more  warn't  far  for  the 
raft  to  go,  but  he  wished  we  was  already  there. 

Towards  daybreak  we  tied  up,  and  Jim  was  mighty 


Huckleberry  Finn  131 

particular  about  hiding  the  raft  good.  Then  he  worked 
all  day  fixing  things  in  bundles,  and  getting  all  ready 
to  quit  rafting. 

That  night  about  ten  we  hove  in  sight  of  the  lights 
of  a  town  away  down  in  a  left-hand  bend. 

I  went  off  in  the  canoe  to  ask  about  it.  Pretty  soon  I 
found  a  man  out  in  the  river  with  a  skiff,  setting  a  trot- 
line.  I  ranged  up  and  says: 

44  Mister,  is  that  town  Cairo?" 

"  Cairo?  no.     You  must  be  a  blame'  fool.1' 

"  What  town  is  it,  mister?" 

"  If  you  want  to  know,  go  and  find  out.  If  you 
stay  here  botherin'  around  me  for  about  a  half  a  minute 
longer  you'll  get  something  you  won't  want." 

I  paddled  to  the  raft.  Jim  was  awful  disappointed, 
but  I  said  never  mind,  Cairo  would  be  the  next  place, 
I  reckoned. 

We  passed  another  town  before  daylight,  and  I  was 
going  out  again;  but  it  was  high  ground,  so  I  didn't 
go.  No  high  ground  about  Cairo,  Jim  said.  I  had 
forgot  it.  We  laid  up  for  the  day  on  a  towhead 
tolerable  close  to  the  left-hand  bank.  I  begun  to 
suspicion  something.  So  did  Jim.  I  says : 

"  Maybe  we  went  by  Cairo  in  the  fog  that  night." 

He  says : 

"  Doan'  le's  talk  about  it,  Huck.  Po'  niggers  can't 
have  no  luck.  I  awluz  'spected  dat  rattlesnake-skin 
warn't  done  wid  its  work." 

'*  I  wish  I'd  never  seen  that  snake-skin,  Jim  —  I  do 
wish  I'd  never  laid  eyes  on  it." 

"  It  ain't  yo'  fault,  Huck;  you  didn'  know.  Don't 
you  blame  yo'self  'bout  it." 

When  it  was  daylight,  here  was  the  clear  Ohio  water 
inshore,  sure  enough,  and  outside  was  the  old  regular 
Muddy !  So  it  was  all  up  with  Cairo. 

We  talked  it  all  over.     It  wouldn't  do  to  take  to  the 


132  Huckleberry  Finn 

shore;  we  couldn't  take  the  raft  up  the  stream,  of 
course.  There  warn't  no  way  but  to  wait  for  dark, 
and  start  back  in  the  canoe  and  take  the  chances.  So 
we  slept  all  day  amongst  the  cottonwood  thicket,  so 
as  to  be  fresh  for  the  work,  and  when  we  went  back  to 
the  raft  about  dark  the  canoe  was  gone ! 

We  didn't  say  a  word  for  a  good  while.  There 
warn't  anything  to  say.  We  both  knowed  well  enough 
it  was  some  more  work  of  the  rattlesnake-skin ;  so 
what  was  the  use  to  talk  about  it?  It  would  only  look 
like  we  was  finding  fault,  and  that  would  be  bound  to 
fetch  more  bad  luck  —  and  keep  on  fetching  it,  too,  till 
we  knowed  enough  to  keep  still. 

By  and  by  we  talked  about  what  we  better  do,  and 
found  there  warn't  no  way  but  just  to  go  along  down 
with  the  raft  till  we  got  a  chance  to  buy  a  canoe  to  go 
back  in.  We  warn't  going  to  borrow  it  when  there 
warn't  anybody  around,  the  way  pap  would  do,  for 
that  might  set  people  after  us. 

So  we  shoved  out  after  dark  on  the  raft. 

Anybody  that  don't  believe  yet  that  it's  foolishness  to 
handle  a  snake-skin,  after  all  that  that  snake-skin  done 
for  us,  will  believe  it  now  if  they  read  on  and  see  what 
more  it  done  for  us. 

The  place  to  buy  canoes  is  off  of  rafts  laying  up  at 
shore.  But  we  didn't  see  no  rafts  laying  up ;  so  we 
went  along  during  three  hours  and  more.  Well,  the 
night  got  gray  and  ruther  thick,  which  is  the  next 
meanest  thing  to  fog.  You  can't  tell  the  shape  of  the 
river,  and  you  can't  see  no  distance.  It  got  to  be 
very  late  and  still,  and  then  along  comes  a  steamboat 
up  the  river.  We  lit  the  lantern,  and  judged  she  would 
see  it.  Up-stream  boats  didn't  generly  come  close  to 
us ;  they  go  out  and  follow  the  bars  and  hunt  for  easy 
water  under  the  reefs ;  but  nights  like  this  they  bull 
right  up  the  channel  against  the  whole  river. 


Huckleberry  Finn  133 

We  could  hear  her  pounding  along,  but  we  didn't 
see  her  good  till  she  was  close.  She  aimed  right  for 
us.  Often  they  do  that  and  try  to  see  how  close  they 
can  come  without  touching;  sometimes  the  wheel  bites 
off  a  sweep,  and  then  the  pilot  sticks  his  head  out  and 
laughs,  and  thinks  he's  mighty  smart.  Well,  here  she 
comes,  and  we  said  she  was  going  to  try  and  shave  us; 
but  she  didn't  seem  to  be  sheering  off  a  bit.  She  was 
a  big  one,  and  she  was  coming  in  a  hurry,  too,  looking 
like  a  black  cloud  with  rows  of  glow-worms  around  it ; 
but  all  of  a  sudden  she  bulged  out,  big  and  scary,  with 
a  long  row  of  wide-open  furnace  doors  shining  like 
red-hot  teeth,  and  her  monstrous  bows  and  guards 
hanging  right  over  us.  There  was  a  yell  at  us,  and  a 
jingling  of  bells  to  stop  the  engines,  a  powwow  of 
cussing,  and  whistling  of  steam  —  and  as  Jim  went 
overboard  on  one  side  and  I  on  the  other,  she  come 
smashing  straight  through  the  raft. 

I  dived  —  and  I  aimed  to  find  the  bottom,  too,  for  a 
thirty-foot  wheel  had  got  to  go  over  me,  and  I  wanted 
it  to  have  plenty  of  room.  I  could  always  stay  under 
water  a  minute ;  this  time  I  reckon  I  stayed  under  a 
minute  and  a  half.  Then  I  bounced  for  the  top  in  a 
hurry,  for  I  was  nearly  busting.  I  popped  out  to  my 
armpits  and  blowed  the  water  out  of  my  nose,  and 
puffed  a  bit.  Of  course  there  was  a  booming  current; 
and  of  course  that  boat  started  her  engines  again  ten 
seconds  after  she  stopped  them,  for  they  never  cared 
much  for  raftsmen ;  so  now  she  was  churning  along  up 
the  river,  out  of  sight  in  the  thick  weather,  though  I 
could  hear  her. 

I  sung  out  for  Jim  about  a  dozen  times,  but  I  didn't 
get  any  answer ;  so  I  grabbed  a  plank  that  touched  me 
while  I  was  "treading  water,"  and  struck  out  for 
shore,  shoving  it  ahead  of  me.  But  I  made  out  to 
see  that  the  drift  of  the  current  was  towards  the  left- 


134  Huckleberry  Finn 

hand  shore,  which  meant  that  I  was  in  a  crossing;   so 
I  changed  off  and  went  that  way. 

It  was  one  of  these  long,  slanting,  two-mile  cross 
ings  ;  so  I  was  a  good  long  time  in  getting  over.  I 
made  a  safe  landing,  and  clumb  up  the  bank.  I  couldn't 
see  but  a  little  ways,  but  I  went  poking  along  over 
rough  ground  for  a  quarter  of  a  mile  or  more,  and 
then  I  run  across  a  big  old-fashioned  double  log-house 
before  I  noticed  it.  I  was  going  to  rush  by  and  get 
away,  but  a  lot  of  dogs  jumped  out  and  went  to  howl 
ing  and  barking  at  me,  and  I  knowed  better  than  to 
move  another  peg. 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

IN  about  a  minute  somebody  spoke  out  of  a  window 
without  putting  his  head  out,  and  says : 

"  Be  done,  boys  !     Who's  there?" 

I  says: 

"It's  me." 

"Who's  me?" 

"  George  Jackson,  sir." 

"What  do  you  want?" 

"  I  don't  want  nothing,  sir.  I  only  want  to  go 
along  by,  but  the  dogs  won't  let  me." 

"What  are  you  prowling  around  here  this  time  of 
night  for  —  hey?" 

"  I  warn't  prowling  around,  sir;  I  fell  overboard  off 
of  the  steamboat." 

"  Oh,  you  did,  did  you?  Strike  a  light  there,  some 
body.  What  did  you  say  your  name  was?" 

"  George  Jackson,  sir.     I'm  only  a  boy." 

"  Look  here,  if  you're  telling  the  truth  you  needn't 
be  afraid  —  nobody  '11  hurt  you.  But  don't  try  to 
budge;  stand  right  where  you  are.  Rouse  out  Bob 
and  Tom,  some  of  you,  and  fetch  the  guns.  George 
Jackson,  is  there  anybody  with  you?" 

"  No,  sir,  nobody." 

I  heard  the  people  stirring  around  in  the  house  now, 
and  see  a  light.  The  man  sung  out: 

"  Snatch  that  light  away,  Betsy,  you  old  fool  —  ain't 
you  got  any  sense?  Put  it  on  the  floor  behind  the 

(135) 


136  Huckleberry  Finn 

front  door.  Bob,  if  you  and  Tom  are  ready,  take 
your  places." 

"All  ready." 

44  Now,  George  Jackson,  do  you  know  the  Shepherd- 
sons?" 

"  No,  sir;   I  never  heard  of  them." 

"Well,  that  may  be  so,  and  it  mayn't.  Now,  all 
ready.  Step  forward,  George  Jackson.  And  mind, 
don't  you  hurry — -come  mighty  slow.  If  there's  any 
body  with  you,  let  him  keep  back  —  if  he  shows  him 
self  he'll  be  shot.  Come  along  now.  Come  slow; 
push  the  door  open  yourself  —  just  enough  to  squeeze 
in,  d'  you  hear?" 

I  didn't  hurry;  I  couldn't  if  I'd  a  wanted  to.  I 
took  one  slow  step  at  a  time  and  there  warn't  a  sound, 
only  I  thought  I  could  hear  my  heart.  The  dogs  were 
as  still  as  the  humans,  but  they  followed  a  little  behind 
me.  When  I  got  to  the  three  log  doorsteps  I  heard 
them  unlocking  and  unbarring  and  unbolting.  I  put 
my  hand  on  the  door  and  pushed  it  a  little  and  a  little 
more  till  somebody  said,  "There,  that's  enough  —  put 
your  head  in."  I  done  it,  but  I  judged  they  would 
take  it  off. 

The  candle  was  on  the  floor,  and  there  they  all  was, 
looking  at  me,  and  me  at  them,  for  about  a  quarter  of 
a  minute :  Three  big  men  with  guns  pointed  at  me, 
which  made  me  wince,  I  tell  you ;  the  oldest,  gray  and 
about  sixty,  the  other  two  thirty  or  more  —  all  of  them 
fine  and  handsome  —  and  the  sweetest  old  gray-headed 
lady,  and  back  of  her  two  young  women  which  I 
couldn't  see  right  well.  The  old  gentleman  says: 

14  There;   I  reckon  it's  all  right.      Come  in." 

As  soon  as  I  was  in  the  old  gentleman  he  locked  the 
door  and  barred  it  and  bolted  it,  and  told  the  young 
men  to  come  in  with  their  guns,  and  they  all  went  in  a 
big  parlor  that  had  a  new  rag  carpet  on  the  floor,  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  137 

got  together  in  a  corner  that  was  out  of  the  range  of 
the  front  windows  —  there  warn't  none  on  the  side. 
They  held  the  candle,  and  took  a  good  look  at  me, 
and  all  said,  "Why,  he  ain't  a  Shepherdson  —  no, 
there  ain't  any  Shepherdson  about  him."  Then  the 
old  man  said  he  hoped  I  wouldn't  mind  being  searched 
for  arms,  because  he  didn't  mean  no  harm  by  it  —  it 
was  only  to  make  sure.  So  he  didn't  pry  into  my 
pockets,  but  only  felt  outside  with  his  hands,  and  said 
it  was  all  right.  He  told  me  to  make  myself  easy  and 
at  home,  and  tell  all  about  myself;  but  the  old  lady 
says: 

"Why,  bless  you,  Saul,  the  poor  thing's  as  wet  as 
he  can  be;  and  don't  you  reckon  it  may  be  he's 
hungry?" 

"  True  for  you,  Rachel  —  I  forgot." 

So  the  old  lady  says : 

**  Betsy  "  (this  was  a  nigger  woman),  you  fly  around 
and  get  him  something  to  eat  as  quick  as  you  can,  poor 
thing;  and  one  of  you  girls  go  and  wake  up  Buck  and 
tell  him — oh,  here  he  is  himself.  Buck,  take  this 
little  stranger  and  get  the  wet  clothes  off  from  him  and 
dress  him  up  in  some  of  yours  that's  dry." 

Buck  looked  about  as  old  as  me  —  thirteen  or  four 
teen  or  along  there,  though  he  was  a  little  bigger  than 
me.  He  hadn't  on  anything  but  a  shirt,  and  he  was 
very  frowzy-headed.  He  came  in  gaping  and  digging 
one  fist  into  his  eyes,  and  he  was  dragging  a  gun  along 
with  the  other  one.  He  says : 

"Ain't  they  no  Shepherdsons  around?" 

They  said,  no,  'twas  a  false  alarm. 

;t  Well/'  he  jsays,  *'  if  they'd  a  ben  some,  I  reckon 
I'd  a  got  one." 

They  all  laugKed,  and  Bob  says: 

;*  Why,  Buck,  they  might  have  scalped  us  all,  you've 
been  so  slow  in  coming." 


138  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Well,  nobody  come  after  me,  and  it  ain't  right. 
I'm  always  kept  down;  I  don't  get  no  show." 

"Never  mind,  Buck,  my  boy,"  says  the  old  man, 
"  you'll  have  show  enough,  all  in  good  time,  don't 
you  fret  about  that.  Go  'long  with  you  now,  and  do 
as  your  mother  told  you." 

When  we  got  up-stairs  to  his  room  he  got  me  a 
coarse  shirt  and  a  roundabout  and  pants  of  his,  and  I 
put  them  on.  While  I  was  at  it  he  asked  me  what  my 
name  was,  but  before  I  could  tell  him  he  started  to  tell 
me  about  a  bluejay  and  a  young  rabbit  he  had  catched 
in  the  woods  day  before  yesterday,  and  he  asked  me 
where  Moses  was  when  the  candle  went  out.  I  said  I 
didn't  know;  I  hadn't  heard  about  it  before,  no  way. 

"Well,  guess,"  he  says. 

"  How'm  I  going  to  guess,"  says  I,  "when  I  never 
heard  tell  of  it  before?" 

"  But  you  can  guess,  can't  you?     It's  just  as  easy." 

"Which  candle?"  I  says. 

"  WThy,  any  candle,"  he  says. 

"I  don't  know  where  he  was,"  says  I;  "where 
was  he?" 

"  Why,  he  was  in  the  dark  !     That's  where  he  was  !" 

"Well,  if  you  knowed  where  he  v/as,  what  did  you 
ask  me  for?" 

"  Why,  blame  it,  it's  a  riddle,  don't  you  see?  Say, 
how  long  are  you  going  to  stay  here?  You  got  to 
stay  always.  We  can  just  have  booming  times  —  they 
don't  have  no  school  now.  Do  you  own  a  dog? 
I've  got  a  dog  — and  he'll  go  in  the  river  and  bring 
out  chips  that  you  throw  in.  Do  you  like  to  comb  up 
Sundays,  and  all  that  kind  of  foolishness?  You  bet  I 
don't,  but  ma  she  makes  me.  Confound  these  ole 
britches!  I  reckon  I'd  better  put  'em  on,  but  I'd 
ruther  not,  it's  sc  warm.  Are  you  all  ready?  All 
right.  Come  along,  old  hoss." 


Huckleberry  Finn  139 

Cold  corn-pone,  cold  corn-beef,  butter  and  butter 
milk  —  that  is  what  they  had  for  me  down  there,  and 
there  ain't  nothing  better  that  ever  I've  come  across 
yet.  Buck  and  his  rna  and  all  of  them  smoked  cob 
pipes,  except  the  nigger  woman,  which  was  gone,  and 
the  two  young  women.  They  all  smoked  and  talked, 
and  I  eat  and  talked.  The  young  women  had  quilts 
around  them,  and  their  hair  down  their  backs.  They 
all  asked  me  questions,  and  I  told  them  how  pap  and 
me  and  all  the  family  was  living  on  a  little  farm  down 
at  the  bottom  of  Arkansaw,  and  my  sister  Mary  Ann 
run  off  and  got  married  and  never  was  heard  of  no 
more,  and  Bill  went  to  hunt  them  and  he  warn't  heard 
of  no  more,  and  Tom  and  Mort  died,  and  then  there 
warn't  nobody  but  just  me  and  pap  left,  and  he  was 
just  .trimmed  down  to  nothing,  on  account  of  his 
troubles ;  so  when  he  died  I  took  what  there  was  left, 
because  the  farm  didn't  belong  to  us,  and  started  up 
the  river,  deck  passage,  and  fell  overboard ;  and  that 
was  how  I  come  to  be  here.  So  they  said  I  could 
have  a  home  there  as  long  as  I  wanted  it.  Then  it 
was  most  daylight  and  everybody  went  to  bed,  and  I 
went  to  bed  with  Buck,  and  when  I  waked  up  in  the 
morning,  drat  it  all,  I  had  forgot  what  my  name  was. 
So  I  laid  there  about  an  hour  trying  to  think,  and 
when  Buck  waked  up  I  says : 

4 'Can  you  spell,  Buck?" 
'Yes,"  he  says. 

"  I  bet  you  can't  spell  my  name,"  says  I. 

11 1  bet  you  what  you  dare  I  can,"  says  he. 

"All  right,"  says  I,  "  go  ahead." 

11  G-e-o-r-g-e  J-a-x-o-n  —  there  now,"  he  says. 

"Well,"  says  I,  "you  done  it,  but  I  didn't  think 
you  could.  It  ain't  no  slouch  of  a  name  to  spell  — 
right  off  without  studying." 

I  set  it  dcwn,  private,  because  somebody  might  want 


140  Huckleberry  Finn 

me  to  spell  it  next,  and  so  I  wanted  to  be  handy  with 
it  and  rattle  it  off  like  I  was  used  to  it. 

It  was  a  mighty  nice  family,  and  a  mighty  nice 
house,  too.  I  hadn't  seen  no  house  out  in  the  country 
before  that  was  so  nice  and  had  so  much  style.  It 
didn't  have  an  iron  latch  on  the  front  door,  nor  a 
wooden  one  with  a  buckskin  string,  but  a  brass  knob 
to  turn,  the  same  as  houses  in  town.  There  warn't  no 
bed  in  the  parlor,  nor  a  sign  of  a  bed ;  but  heaps  of 
parlors  in  towns  has  beds  in  them.  There  was  a  big 
fireplace  that  was  bricked  on  the  bottom,  and  the 
bricks  was  kept  clean  and  red  by  pouring  water  on 
them  and  scrubbing  them  with  another  brick;  some 
times  they  wash  them  over  with  red  water-paint  that 
they  call  Spanish-brown,  same  as  they  do  in  town. 
They  had  big  brass  dog-irons  that  could  hold  up  a  saw- 
log.  There  was  a  clock  on  the  middle  of  the  mantel 
piece,  with  a  picture  of  a  town  painted  on  the  bottom 
half  of  the  glass  front,  and  a  round  place  in  the  middle 
of  it  for  the  sun,  and  you  could  see  the  pendulum 
swinging  behind  it.  It  was  beautiful  to  hear  that  clock 
tick;  and  sometimes  when  one  of  these  peddlers  had 
been  along  and  scoured  her  up  and  got  her  in  good 
shape,  she  would  start  in  and  strike  a  hundred  and 
fifty  before  she  got  tuckered  out.  They  wouldn't  took 
any  money  for  her. 

Well,  there  was  a  big  outlandish  parrot  on  each  side 
of  the  clock,  made  out  of  something  like  chalk,  and 
painted  up  gaudy.  By  one  of  the  parrots  was  a  cat 
made  of  crockery,  and  a  crockery  dog  by  the  other; 
and  when  you  pressed  down  on  them  they  squeaked, 
but  didn't  open  their  mouths  nor  look  different  nor 
interested.  They  squeaked  through  underneath.  There 
was  a  couple  of  big  wild-turkey-wing  fans  spread  out 
behind  those  things.  On  the  table  in  the  middle  of 
the  room  was  a  kind  of  a  lovely  crockery  basket  that 


Huckleberry  Finn  141 

had  apples  and  oranges  and  peaches  and  grapes  piled 
up  in  it,  which  was  much  redder  and  yellower  and 
prettier  than  real  ones  is,  but  they  warn't  real  because 
you  could  see  where  pieces  had  got  chipped  off  and 
showed  the  white  chalk,  or  whatever  it  was,  under 
neath. 

This  table  had  a  cover  made  out  of  beautiful  oilcloth, 
with  a  red  and  blue  spread-eagle  painted  on  it,  and  a 
painted  border  all  around.  It  come  all  the  way  from 
Philadelphia,  they  said.  There  was  some  books,  too, 
piled  up  perfectly  exact,  on  each  corner  of  the  table. 
One  was  a  big  family  Bible  full  of  pictures.  One  was 
Pilgrim 's  Progress,  about  a  man  that  left  his  family,  it 
didn't  say  why.  I  read  considerable  in  it  now  and 
then.  The  statements  was  interesting,  but  tough. 
Another  was  Friendship 's  Offering,  full  of  beautiful 
stuff  and  poetry;  but  I  didn't  read  the  poetry.  An 
other  was  Henry  Clay's  Speeches,  and  another  was 
Dr.  Gunn's  Family  Medicine,  which  told  you  all  about 
what  to  do  if  a  body  was  sick  or  dead.  There  was  a 
hymn  book,  and  a  lot  of  other  books.  And  there  was 
nice  split-bottom  chairs,  and  perfectly  sound,  too  — 
not  bagged  down  in  the  middle  and  busted,  like  an 
old  basket. 

They  had  pictures  hung  on  the  walls  —  mainly 
Washingtons  and  Lafayettes,  and  battles,  and  High 
land  Marys,  and  one  called  '*  Signing  the  Declaration." 
There  was  some  that  they  called  crayons,  which  one  of 
the  daughters  which  was  dead  made  her  own  self  when 
she  was  only  fifteen  years  old.  They  was  different 
from  any  pictures  I  ever  see  before  —  blacker,  mostly, 
than  is  common.  One  was  a  woman  in  a  slim  black 
dress,  belted  small  under  the  armpits,  with  bulges  like 
a  cabbage  in  the  middle  of  the  sleeves,  and  a  large 
black  scoop-shovel  bonnet  with  a  black  veil,  and  white 
slim  ankles  crossed  about  with  black  tape,  and  very 


142  Huckleberry  Finn 

wee  black  slippers,  like  a  chisel,  and  she  was  leaning 
pensive  on  a  tombstone  on  her  right  elbow,  under  a 
weeping  willow,  and  her  other  hand  hanging  down  her 
side  holding  a  white  handkerchief  and  a  reticule,  and 
underneath  the  picture  it  said  "  Shall  I  Never  See  Thee 
More  Alas."  Another  one  was  a  young  lady  with  her 
hair  all  combed  up  straight  to  the  top  of  her  head,  and 
knotted  there  in  front  of  a  comb  like  a  chair-back,  and 
she  was  crying  into  a  handkerchief  and  had  a  dead 
bird  laying  on  its  back  in  her  other  hand  with  its  heels 
up,  and  underneath  the  picture  it  said  "  I  Shall  Never 
Hear  Thy  Sweet  Chirrup  More  Alas."  There  was  one 
where  a  young  lady  was  at  a  window  looking  up  at  the 
moon,  and  tears  running  down  her  cheeks;  and  she 
had  an  open  letter  in  one  hand  with  black  sealing  wax 
showing  on  one  edge  of  it,  and  she  was  mashing  a 
locket  with  a  chain  to  it  against  her  mouth,  and  under 
neath  the  picture  it  said  "And  Art  Thou  Gone  Yes 
Thou  Art  Gone  Alas."  These  was  all  nice  pictures,  I 
reckon,  but  I  didn't  somehow  seem  to  take  to  them, 
because  if  ever  1  was  down  a  little  they  always  give  me 
the  fan- tods.  Everybody  was  sorry  she  died,  because 
she  had  laid  out  a  lot  more  of  these  pictures  to  do, 
and  a  body  could  see  by  what  she  had  done  what  they 
had  lost.  But  I  reckoned  that  with  her  disposition  she 
was  having  a  better  time  in  the  graveyard.  She  was 
at  work  on  what  they  said  was  her  greatest  picture 
when  she  took  sick,  and  every  day  and  every  night  it 
was  her  prayer  to  be  allowed  to  live  till  she  got  it 
done,  but  she  never  got  the  chance.  It  was  a  picture 
of  a  young  woman  in  a  long  white  gown,  standing  on 
the  rail  of  a  bridge  all  ready  to  jump  off,  with  her  hair 
all  down  her  back,  and  looking  up  to  the  moon,  with 
the  tears  running  down  her  face,  and  she  had  two  arms 
folded  across  her  breast,  and  two  arms  stretched  out  in 
tront,  and  two  more  reaching  up  towards  the  moon — • 


Huckleberry  Finn  143 

and  the  idea  was  to  see  which  pair  would  look  best, 
and  then  scratch  out  all  the  other  arms ;  but,  as  I  was 
saying,  she  died  before  she  got  her  mind  made  up, 
and  now  they  kept  this  picture  over  the  head  of  the 
bed  in  her  room,  and  every  time  her  birthday  come 
they  hung  flowers  on  it.  Other  times  it  was  hid  with 
a  little  curtain.  The  young  woman  in  the  picture  had  a 
kind  of  a  nice  sweet  face,  but  there  was  so  many  arms 
it  made  her  look  too  spidery,  seemed  to  me. 

This  young  girl  kept  a  scrap-book  when  she  was 
alive,  and  used  to  paste  obituaries  and  accidents  and 
cases  of  patient  suffering  in  it  out  of  the  Presbyterian 
Observer,  and  write  poetry  after  them  out  of  her  own 
head.  It  was  very  good  poetry.  This  is  what  she 
wrote  about  a  boy  by  the  name  of  Stephen  Bowling 
Bots  that  fell  down  a  well  and  was  drownded : 

ODE  TO   STEPHEN   BOWLING  BOTS,  DEC'D 

And  did  young  Stephen  sicken, 

And  did  young  Stephen  die? 
And  did  the  sad  hearts  thicken, 

And  did  the  mourners  cry? 

No;  such  was  not  the  fate  of 

Young  Stephen  Dowling  Bots; 
Though  sad  hearts  round  him  thickened, 

'Twas  not  from  sickness'  shots. 

No  whooping-cough  did  rack  his  frame, 

Nor  rneasies  drear  with  spots; 
Not  these  impaired  the  sacred  name 

Of  Stephen  Dowling  Bots. 

Despised  love  struck  not  with  woe 

That  head  of  curly  knots, 
Nor  stomach  troubles  laid  him  low, 

Young  Stephen  Dowling  Bots. 


144  Huckleberry  Finn 

O  no.     Then  list  with  tearful  eye, 

Whilst  I  his  fate  do  tell. 
His  soul  did  from  this  cold  world  fly 

By  falling  down  a  well. 

They  got  him  out  and  emptied  him; 

Alas  it  was  too  late; 
His  spirit  was  gone  for  to  sport  aloft 

In  the  realms  of  the  good  and  great. 

If  Emmeline  Grangerford  could  make  poetry  like 
that  before  she  was  fourteen,  there  ain't  no  telling 
what  she  could  a  done  by  and  by.  Buck  said  she 
could  rattle  off  poetry  like  nothing.  She  didn't  ever 
have  to  stop  to  think.  He  said  she  would  slap  down  a 
line,  and  if  she  couldn't  find  anything  to  rhyme  with  it 
would  just  scratch  it  out  and  slap  down  another  one, 
and  go  ahead.  She  warn't  particular;  she  could  write 
about  anything  you  choose  to  give  her  to  write  about 
just  so  it  was  sadful.  Every  time  a  man  died,  or  a 
woman  died,  or  a  child  died,  she  would  be  on  hand 
with  her  "tribute"  before  he  was  cold.  She  called 
them  tributes.  The  neighbors  said  it  was  the  doctor 
first,  then  Emmeline,  then  the  undertaker — the  under 
taker  never  got  in  ahead  of  Emmeline  but  once,  and 
then  she  hung  fire  on  a  rhyme  for  the  dead  person's 
name,  which  was  Whistler.  She  warn't  ever  the  same 
after  that;  she  never  complaineo1,  but  she  kinder  pined 
away  and  did  not  live  long.  Poor  thing,  many's  the 
time  I  made  myself  go  up  to  the  little  room  that  used 
to  be  hers  and  get  out  her  poor  old  scrap-book  and 
read  in  it  when  her  pictures  had  been  aggravating  me 
and  I  had  soured  on  her  a  little.  I  liked  all  that 
family,  dead  ones  and  all,  and  warn't  going  to  let  any 
thing  come  between  us.  Poor  Emmeline  made  poetry 
about  all  the  dead  people  when  she  was  alive,  and  it 
didn't  seem  right  that  there  warn't  nobody  to  make 


Huckleberry  Finn  145 

some  about  her  now  she  was  gone ;  so  I  tried  to  sweat 
out  a  verse  or  two  myself,  but  I  couldn't  seem  to  make 
it  go  somehow.  They  kept  Emmeline's  room  trim 
and  nice,  and  all  the  things  fixed  in  it  just  the  way 
she  liked  to  have  them  when  she  was  alive,  and  nobody 
ever  slept  there.  The  old  lady  took  care  of  the  room 
herself,  though  there  was  plenty  of  niggers,  and  she 
sewed  there  a  good  deal  and  read  her  Bible  there 
mostly. 

Well,  as  I  was  saying  about  the  parlor,  there  was 
beautiful  curtains  on  the  windows :  white,  with  pictures 
painted  on  them  of  castles  with  vines  all  down  the 
walls,  and  cattle  coming  down  to  drink.  There  was  a 
little  old  piano,  too,  that  had  tin  pans  in  it,  I  reckon, 
and  nothing  was  ever  so  lovely  as  to  hear  the  young 
ladies  sing  "  The  Last  Link  is  Broken  "  and  play  "  The 
Battle  of  Prague  "  on  it.  The  walls  of  all  the  rooms 
was  plastered,  and  most  had  carpets  on  the  floors,  and 
the  whole  house  was  whitewashed  on  the  outside. 

It  was  a  double  house,  and  the  big  open  place  be 
twixt  them  was  roofed  and  floored,  and  sometimes  the 
table  was  set  there  in  the  middle  of  the  day,  and  it  was 
a  cool,  comfortable  place.  Nothing  couldn't  be  better. 
And  warn't  the  cooking  good,  and  just  bushels  of  it 
too ! 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

COL.  GRANGERFORD  was  a  gentleman,  you  see. 
He  was  a  gentleman  all  over;  and  so  was  his 
family.  He  was  well  born,  as  the  saying  is,  and  that's 
worth  as  much  in  a  man  as  it  is  in  a  horse,  so  the 
Widow  Douglas  said,  and  nobody  ever  denied  that  she 
was  of  the  first  aristocracy  in  our  town ;  and  pap  he 
always  said  it,  too,  though  he  warn't  no  more  quality 
than  a  mudcat  himself.  Col.  Grangerford  was  very  tall 
and  very  slim,  and  had  a  darkish-paly  complexion,  not 
a  sign  of  red  in  it  anywheres;  he  was  clean  shaved 
every  morning  all  over  his  thin  face,  and  he  had  the 
thinnest  kind  of  lips,  and  the  thinnest  kind  of  nostrils, 
and  a  high  nose,  and  heavy  eyebrows,  and  the  blackest 
kind  of  eyes,  sunk  so  deep  back  that  they  seemed  like 
they  was  looking  out  of  caverns  at  you,  as  you  may 
say.  His  forehead  was  high,  and  his  hair  was  black 
and  straight  and  hung  to  his  shoulders.  His  hands 
was  long  and  thin,  and  every  day  of  his  life  he  put  on 
a  clean  shirt  and  a  full  suit  from  head  to  foot  made 
out  of  linen  so  white  it  hurt  your  eyes  to  look  at  it ; 
and  on  Sundays  he  wore  a  blue  tail-coat  with  brass 
buttons  on  it.  He  carried  a  mahogany  cane  with  a 
silver  head  to  it.  There  warn't  no  frivolishness  about 
him,  not  a  bit,  and  he  warn't  ever  loud.  He  was  as 
kind  as  he  could  be  —  you  could  feel  that,  you  know, 
and  so  you  had  confidence.  Sometimes  he  smiled, 
and  it  was  good  to  see ;  but  when  he  straightened  him- 

(146) 


Huckleberry  Finn  147 

self  up  like  a  liberty-pole,  and  the  lightning  begun  to 
flicker  out  from  under  his  eyebrows,  you  wanted  to 
climb  a  tree  first,  and  find  out  what  the  matter  was 
afterwards.  He  didn't  ever  have  to  tell  anybody  to 
mind  their  manners  —  everybody  was  always  good- 
mannered  where  he  was.  Everybody  loved  to  have 
him  around,  too;  he  was  sunshine  most  always  —  I 
mean  he  made  it  seem  like  good  weather.  When  he 
turned  into  a  cloudbank  it  was  awful  dark  for  half  a 
minute,  and  that  was  enough;  there  wouldn't  nothing 
go  wrong  again  for  a  week. 

When  him  and  the  old  lady  come  down  in  the  morn 
ing  all  the  family  got  up  out  of  their  chairs  and  give 
them  good-day,  and  didn't  set  down  again  till  they  had 
set  down.  Then  Tom  and  Bob  went  to  the  sideboard 
where  the  decanter  was,  and  mixed  a  glass  of  bitters 
and  handed  it  to  him,  and  he  held  it  in  his  hand  and 
waited  till  Tom's  and  Bob's  was  mixed,  and  then  they 
bowed  and  said,  "  Our  duty  to  you,  sir,  and  madam;" 
and  they  bowed  the  least  bit  in  the  world  and  said 
thank  you,  and  so  they  drank,  all  three,  and  Bob  and 
Tom  poured  a  spoonful  of  water  on  the  sugar  and  the 
mite  of  whisky  or  apple  brandy  in  the  bottom  of  their 
tumblers,  and  give  it  to  me  and  Buck,  and  we  drank  to 
the  old  people  too. 

Bob  was  the  oldest  and  Tom  next  —  tall,  beautiful 
men  with  very  broad  shoulders  and  brown  faces,  and 
long  black  hair  and  black  eyes.  They  dressed  in  white 
linen  from  head  to  foot,  like  the  old  gentleman,  and 
wore  broad  Panama  hats. 

Then  there  was  Miss  Charlotte;  she  was  twenty- 
five,  and  tall  and  proud  and  grand,  but  as  good  as  she 
could  be  when  she  warn't  stirred  up;  but  when  she 
was  she  had  a  look  that  would  make  you  wilt  in  your 
tracks,  like  her  father.  She  was  beautiful. 

So  was  her  sister,  Miss  Sophia,  but  it  was  a  different 
j 


148  Huckleberry  Finn 

kind.  She  was  gentle  and  sweet  like  a  dove,  and  she 
was  only  twenty. 

Each  person  had  their  own  nigger  to  wait  on  them  — 
""Buck  too.  My  nigger  had  a  monstrous  easy  time,  be 
cause  I  warn't  used  to  having  anybody  do  anything 
for  me,  but  Buck's  was  on  the  jump  most  of  the  time. 

This  was  all  there  was  of  the  family  now,  but  there 
used  to  be  more  —  three  sons;  they  got  killed;  and 
Emmeline  that  died. 

The  old  gentleman  owned  a  lot  of  farms  and  over  a 
hundred  niggers.  Sometimes  a  stack  of  people  would 
come  there,  horseback,  from  ten  or  fifteen  mile  around, 
and  stay  five  or  six  days,  and  have  such  junketings 
round  about  and  on  the  river,  and  dances  and  picnics 
in  the  woods  daytimes,  and  balls  at  the  house  nights. 
These  people  was  mostly  kinfolks  of  the  family.  The 
men  brought  their  guns  with  them.  It  was  a  hand 
some  lot  of  quality,  I  tell  you. 

There  was  another  clan  of  'aristocracy  around  there 
—  five  or  six  families  —  mostly  of  the  name  of  Shep- 
herdson.  They  was  as  high-toned  and  well  born  and 
rich  and  grand  as  the  tribe  of  Grangerfords.  The 
Shepherdsons  and  Grangerfords  used  the  same  steam 
boat  landing,  which  was  about  two  mile  above  our 
house ;  so  sometimes  when  I  went  up  there  with  a  lot 
of  our  folks  I  used  to  see  a  lot  of  the  Shepherdsons 
there  on  their  fine  horses. 

One  day  Buck  and  me  was  away  out  in  the  woods 
hunting,  and  heard  a  horse  coming.  We  was  crossing 
the  road.  Buck  says: 

' '  Quick  !     Jump  for  the  woods ! ' ' 

We  done  it,  and  then  peeped  down  the  woods 
through  the  leaves.  Pretty  soon  a  splendid  young 
man  come  galloping  down  the  road,  setting  his  horse 
easy  and  looking  like  a  soldier.  He  had  his  gun  across 
his  pommel.  I  had  seen  him  before.  It  was  young 


Huckleberry  Finn  149 

Harney  Shepherdson.  I  heard  Buck's  gun  go  off  at 
my  ear,  and  Harney's  hat  tumbled  off  from  his  head. 
He  grabbed  his  gun  and  rode  straight  to  the  place 
where  we  was  hid.  But  we  didn't  wait.  We  started 
through  the  woods  on  a  run.  The  woods  warn't  thick, 
so  I  looked  over  my  shoulder  to  dodge  the  bullet,  and 
twice  I  seen  Harney  cover  Buck  with  his  gun;  and 
then  he  rode  away  the  way  he  come  —  to  get  his  hat, 
I  reckon,  but  I  couldn't  see.  We  never  stopped  run 
ning  till  we  got  home.  The  old  gentleman's  eyes 
blazed  a  minute — 'twas  pleasure,  mainly,  I  judged  — 
then  his  face  sort  of  smoothed  down,  and  he  says, 
kind  of  gentle : 

"I  don't  like  that  shooting  from  behind  a  bush. 
Why  didn't  you  step  into  the  road,  my  boy?" 

"The  Shepherdsons  don't,  father.  They  always 
take  advantage." 

Miss  Charlotte  she  held  her  head  up  like  a  queen 
while  Buck  was  telling  his  tale,  and  her  nostrils  spread 
and  her  eyes  snapped.  The  two  young  men  looked 
dark,  but  never  said  nothing.  Miss  Sophia  she  turned 
pale,  but  the  color  come  back  when  she  found  the 
man  warn't  hurt. 

Soon  as  I  could  get  Buck  down  by  the  corn-cribs 
under  the  trees  by  ourselves,  I  says: 

44  Did  you  want  to  kill  him,  Buck?" 

"Well,  I  bet  I  did." 

"  What  did  he  do  to  you?" 

"  Him?     He  never  done  nothing  to  me." 

"  Well,  then,  what  did  you  want  to  kill  him  for?" 

**  Why,  nothing —  only  it's  on  account  of  the  feud." 

"What's  a  feud?" 

"Why,  where  was  you  raised?  Don't  you  know 
what  a  feud  is?" 

44  Never  heard  of  it  before  —  tell  me  about  it." 

"Well,"   says  Buck,  "a  feud  is  this  way:  A  man 


150  Huckleberry  Finn 

has  a  quarrel  with  another  man,  and  kills  him;  then 
that  other  man's  brother  kills  him;  then  the  other 
brothers,  on  both  sides,  goes  for  one  another;  then 
the  cousins  chip  in  —  and  by  and  by  everybody's  killed 
off,  and  there  ain't  no  more  feud.  But  it's  kind  of 
slow,  and  takes  a  long  time." 

*'  Has  this  one  been  going  on  long,  Buck?" 

41  Well,  I  should  reckon  !  It  started  thirty  year  ago, 
or  som'ers  along  there.  There  was  trouble  'bout 
something,  and  then  a  lawsuit  to  settle  it;  and  the 
suit  went  agin  one  of  the  men,  and  so  he  up  and  shot 
the  man  that  won  the  suit  —  which  he  would  naturally 
do,  of  course.  Anybody  would." 

11  What  was  the  trouble  about,  Buck?  —  land?" 

44  I  reckon  maybe  —  I  don't  know." 

11  Well,  who  done  the  shooting?  Was  it  a  Granger- 
ford  or  a  Shepherdson?" 

"  Laws,  how  do  7  know?     It  was  so  long  ago." 

44  Don't  anybody  know?" 

44  Oh,  yes,  pa  knows,  I  reckon,  and  some  of  the 
other  old  people ;  but  they  don't  know  now  what  the 
row  was  about  in  the  first  place." 

44  Has  there  been  many  killed,  Buck?" 

44  Yes;  right  smart  chance  of  funerals.  But  they 
don't  always  kill.  Pa's  got  a  few  buckshot  in  him; 
but  he  don't  mind  it  'cuz  he  don't  weigh  much,  any 
way.  Bob's  been  carved  up  some  with  a  bowie,  and 
Tom's  been  hurt  once  or  twice." 

44  Has  anybody  been  killed  this  year,  Buck?" 

44  Yes;  we  got  one  and  they  got  one.  'Bout  three 
months  ago  my  cousin  Bud,  fourteen  year  old,  was 
riding  through  the  woods  on  t'other  side  of  the  river, 
and  didn't  have  no  weapon  with  him,  which  was  blame' 
foolishness,  and  in  a  lonesome  place  he  hears  a  horse 
a-coming  behind  him,  and  sees  old  Baldy  Shepherdson 
a-linkin'  after  him  with  his  gun  in  his  hand  and  his 


Huckleberry  Finn  151 

white  hair  a-flying  in  the  wind ;  and  'stead  of  jumping 
off  and  taking  to  the  brush,  Bud  'lowed  he' could  out 
run  him ;  so  they  had  it,  nip  and  tuck,  for  five  mile  or 
more,  the  old  man  a-gaining  all  the  time;  so  at  last 
Bud  seen  it  warn't  any  use,  so  he  stopped  and  faced 
around  so  as  to  have  the  bullet  holes  in  front,  you 
know,  and  the  old  man  he  rode  up  and  shot  him 
down.  But  he  didn't  git  much  chance  to  enjoy  his 
luck,  for  inside  of  a  week  our  folks  laid  him  out." 
11  I  reckon  that  old  man  was  a  coward,  Buck." 
"I  reckon  he  warn't  a  coward.  Not  by  a  blame' 
sight.  There  ain't  a  coward  amongst  them  Shepherd- 
sons  —  not  a  one.  And  there  ain't  no  cowards  amongst 
the  Grangerfords  either.  Why,  that  old  man  kep'  up 
his  end  in  a  fight  one  day  for  half  an  hour  against 
three  Grangerfords,  and  come  out  winner.  They  was 
all  a-horseback;  he  lit  off  of  his  horse  and  got  behind 
a  little  woodpile,  and  kep'  his  horse  before  him  to  stop 
the  bullets;  but  the  Grangerfords  stayed  on  their 
horses  and  capered  around  the  old  man,  and  peppered 
away  at  him,  and  he  peppered  away  at  them.  Him 
and  his  horse  both  went  home  pretty  leaky  and  crip 
pled,  but  the  Grangerfords  had  to  be  fetched  home  — 
and  one  of  'em  was  dead,  and  another  died  the  next 
day.  No,  sir;  if  a  body's  out  hunting  for  cowards  he 
don't  want  to  fool  away  any  time  amongst  them  Shep- 
herdsons,  becuz  they  don't  breed  any  of  that  kind." 

Next  Sunday  we  all  went  to  church,  about  three 
mile,  everybody  a-horseback.  The  men  took  their 
guns  along,  so  did  Buck,  and  kept  them  between  their 
knees  or  stood  them  handy  against  the  wall.  The 
Shepherdsons  done  the  same.  It  was  pretty  ornery 
preaching  —  all  about  brotherly  love,  and  such-like 
tiresomeness;  but  everybody  said  it  was  a  good  ser 
mon,  and  they  all  talked  it  over  going  home,  and  had 
such  a  powerful  lot  to  say  about  faith  and  good  works 


152  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  free  grace  and  preforeordestination,  and  I  don't 
know  what  all,  that  it  did  seem  to  me  to  be  one  of  the 
roughest  Sundays  I  had  run  across  yet. 

About  an  hour  after  dinner  everybody  was  dozing 
around,  some  in  their  chairs  and  some  in  their  rooms, 
and  it  got  to  be  pretty  dull.  Buck  and  a  dog  was 
stretched  out  on  the  grass  in  the  sun  sound  asleep.  I 
went  up  to  our  room,  and  judged  I  would  take  a  nap 
myself.  I  found  that  sweet  Miss  Sophia  standing  in 
her  door,  which  was  next  to  ours,  and  she  took  me  in 
her  room  and  shut  the  door  very  soft,  and  asked  me  if 
I  liked  her,  and  I  said  I  did ;  and  she  asked  me  if  I 
would  do  something  for  her  and  not  tell  anybody, 
and  I  said  I  would.  Then  she  said  she'd  forgot  her 
Testament,  and  left  it  in  the  seat  at  church  between  two 
other  books,  and  would  I  slip  out  quiet  and  go  there 
and  fetch  it  to  her,  and  not  say  nothing  to  nobody.  I 
said  I  would.  So  I  slid  out  and  slipped  off  up  the 
road,  and  there  warn't  anybody  at  the  church,  except 
maybe  a  hog  or  two,  for  there  warn't  any  lock  on  the 
door,  and  hogs  likes  a  puncheon  floor  in  summer-time 
because  it's  cool.  If  you  notice,  most  folks  don't  go 
to  church  only  when  they've  got  to;  but  a  hog  is 
different. 

Sa/s  I  to  myself,  something's  up ;  it  ain't  natural 
for  a  girl  to  be  in  such  a  sweat  about  a  Testament. 
So  I  give  it  a  shake,  and  out  drops  a  little  piece  of 
paper  with  "  Half-past  two  "  wrote  on  it  with  a  pencil. 
I  ransacked  it,  but  couldn't  find  anything  else.  I 
couldn't  make  anything  out  of  that,  so  I  put  the  paper 
in  the  book  again,  and  when  I  got  home  and  upstairs 
there  was  Miss  Sophia  in  her  door  waiting  for  me. 
She  pulled  me  in  and  shut  the  door;  then  she  looked 
in  the  Testament  till  she  found  the  paper,  and  as  soon 
as  she  read  it  she  looked  glad ;  and  before  a  body 
could  think  she  grabbed  me  and  give  me  a  squeeze, 


Huckleberry  Finn  153 

and  said  I  was  the  best  boy  in  the  world,  and  not  to 
tell  anybody.  She  was  mighty  red  in  the  face  for  a 
minute,  and  her  eyes  lighted  up,  and  it  made  her 
powerful  pretty.  I  was  a  good  deal  astonished,  but 
when  I  got  my  breath  I  asked  her  what  the  paper  was 
about,  and  she  asked  me  if  I  had  read  it,  and  I  said 
no,  and  she  asked  me  if  I  could  read  writing,  and  I 
told  her  '*  no,  only  coarse-hand,"  and  then  she  said 
the  paper  warn't  anything  but  a  book-mark  to  keep 
her  place,  and  I  might  go  and  play  now. 

I  went  off  down  to  the  river,  studying  over  this 
thing,  and  pretty  soon  I  noticed  that  my  nigger  was 
following  along  behind.  When  we  was  out  of  sight  of 
the  house  he  looked  back  and  around  a  second,  and 
then  comes  a-running,  and  says : 

41  Mars  Jawge,  if  you'll  come  down  into  de  swamp 
I'll  show  you  a  whole  stack  o'  water-moccasins.1' 

Thinks  I,  that's  mighty  curious;  he  said  that  yester 
day.  He  oughter  know  a  body  don't  love  water- 
moccasins  enough  to  go  around  hunting  for  them. 
What  is  he  up  to,  anyway?  So  I  says: 

44 All  right;   trot  ahead." 

I  followed  a  half  a  mile ;  then  he  struck  out  over  the 
swamp,  and  waded  ankle  deep  as  much  as  another 
half-mile.  We  come  to  a  little  flat  piece  of  land  which 
was  dry  and  very  thick  with  trees  and  bushes  and 
vines,  and  he  says: 

4 'You  shove  right  in  dah  jist  a  few  steps,  Mars 
Jawge;  dah's  whah  dey  is.  I's  seed  'm  befo' ;  I 
don't  k'yer  to  see  'em  no  mo'." 

Then  he  slopped  right  along  and  went  away,  and 
pretty  soon  the  trees  hid  him.  I  poked  into  the  place 
a-ways  and  come  to  a  little  open  patch  as  big  as  a 
bedroom  all  hung  around  with  vines,  and  found  a  man 
laying  there  asleep  —  and,  by  jings,  it  was  my  old  Jim  ! 

I  waked  him  up,  and  I  reckoned  it  was  going  to  be 


154  Huckleberry  Finn 

a  grand  surprise  to  him  to  see  me  again,  but  it  warn't. 
He  nearly  cried  he  was  so  glad,  but  he  warn't  sur 
prised.  Said  he  swum  along  behind  me  that  night, 
and  heard  me  yell  every  time,  but  dasn't  answer,  be 
cause  he  didn't  want  nobody  to  pick  him  up  and  take 
him  into  slavery  again.  Says  he: 

"  I  got  hurt  a  little,  en  couldn't  swim  fas',  so  I  wuz 
a  considable  ways  behine  you  towards  de  las' ;  when 
you  landed  I  reck'ned  I  could  ketch  up  wid  you  on  de 
Ian'  'dout  havin'  to  shout  at  you,  but  when  I  see  dat 
house  I  begin  to  go  slow.  I  'uz  off  too  fur  to  hear 
what  dey  say  to  you  —  I  wuz  'fraid  o'  de  dogs;  but 
when  it  'uz  all  quiet  agin  I  knowed  you's  in  de  house, 
so  I  struck  out  for  de  woods  to  wait  for  day.  Early 
in  de  mawnin'  some  er  de  niggers  come  along,  gwyne 
to  de  fields,  en  dey  tuk  me  en  showed  me  dis  place, 
whah  de  dogs  can't  track  me  on  accounts  o'  de  water, 
en  dey  brings  me  truck  to  eat  every  night,  en  tells  me 
how  you's  a-gitt'n  along." 

"Why  didn't  you  tell  my  Jack  to  fetch  me  here 
sooner,  Jim?" 

"  Well,  'twarn't  no  use  to  'sturb  you,  Huck,  tell  we 
could  do  sumfn  —  but  we's  all  right  now.  I  ben  a- 
buyin'  pots  en  pans  en  vittles,  as  I  got  a  chanst,  en  a- 
patchin'  up  de  raf  nights  when — " 

"  What  raft,  Jim?" 

"Ourole  raf." 

"  You  mean  to  say  our  old  raft  warn't  smashed  all 
to  flinders?" 

"  No,  she  warn't.  She  was  tore  up  a  good  deal  — 
one  en'  of  her  was;  but  dey  warn't  no  great  harm 
done,  on'y  our  traps  was  mos'  all  los'.  Ef  we  hadn' 
dive'  so  deep  en  swum  so  fur  under  water,  en  de  night 
hadn'  ben  so  dark,  en  we  warn't  so  sk'yerd,  en  ben 
sich  punkin-heads,  as  de  sayin'  is,  w^e'd  a  seed  de  raf. 
But  it's  jis'  as  well  we  didn't,  'kase  now  she's  all  fixed 


Huckleberry  Finn  155 

up  agin  mos'  as  good  as  new,  en  we's  got  a  new  lot  o' 
stuff,  in  de  place  o'  what  'uz  los'." 

"  Why,  how  did  you  get  hold  of  the  raft  again,  Jim 
—  did  you  catch  her?" 

"  How  I  gwyne  to  ketch  her  en  I  out  in  de  woods? 
No ;  some  er  de  niggers  foun'  her  ketched  on  a  snag 
along  heah  in  de  ben',  en  dey  hid  her  in  a  crick 
'mongst  de  willows,  en  dey  wuz  so  much  jawin'  'bout 
which  un  'urn  she  b'long  to  de  mos'  dat  I  come  to 
heah  'bout  it  pooty  soon,  so  I  ups  en  settles  de  trouble 
by  tellin'  'um  she  don't  b'long  to  none  uv  um,  but  to 
you  en  me;  en  I  ast  'm  if  dey  gwyne  to  grab  a  young 
white  genlman's  propaty,  en  git  a  hid'n  for  it?  Den  I 
gin  'm  ten  cents  apiece,  en  dey  'uz  mighty  well  satis 
fied,  en  wisht  some  mo'  raf's  'ud  come  along  en  make 
'm  rich  agin.  Dey's  mighty  good  to  me,  dese  niggers 
is,  en  whatever  I  wants  'm  to  do  fur  me  I  doan'  have 
to  ast  'm  twice,  honey.  Dat  Jack's  a  good  nigger,  en 
pooty  smart." 

"  Yes,  he  is.  He  ain't  ever  told  me  you  was  here; 
told  me  to  come,  and  he'd  show  me  a  lot  of  water- 
moccasins.  If  anything  happens  he  ain't  mixed  up  in 
it.  He  can  say  he  never  seen  us  together,  and  it  '11 
be  the  truth." 

I  don't  want  to  talk  much  about  the  next  day.  I 
reckon  I'll  cut  it  pretty  short.  I  waked  up  about 
dawn,  and  was  a-going  to  turn  over  and  go  to  sleep 
again  when  I  noticed  how  still  it  was  —  didn't  seem 
to  be  anybody  stirring.  That  warn't  usual.  Next  I 
noticed  that  Buck  was  up  and  gone.  Well,  I  gets  up, 
a-wondering,  and  goes  down  stairs  —  nobody  around  ; 
everything  as  still  as  a  mouse.  Just  the  same  outside. 
Thinks  I,  what  does  it  mean?  Down  by  the  wood 
pile  I  comes  across  my  Jack,  and  says : 

"What 'sit  all  about?" 

Says  he : 


156  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Don't  you  know,  Mars  Tawge?" 

"No,"  says  I,  "  I  don't." 

"Weil,  den,  Miss  Sophia's  run  off!  'deed  she  has. 
She  run  off  in  de  night  some  time  —  nobody  don't 
know  jis'  when ;  run  off  to  get  married  to  dat  young 
Harney  Shepherdson,  you  know — leastways,  so  dey 
'spec.  De  fambly  foun'  it  out  'bout  half  an  hour 
ago  —  maybe  a  little  mo' — en'  I  tell  you  dey  warn' t 
no  time  los'.  Sich  another  hurryin'  up  guns  en  hosses 
you  never  see !  De  women  folks  has  gone  for  to  stir 
up  de  relations,  en  ole  Mars  Saul  en  de  boys  tuck  dey 
guns  en  rode  up  de  river  road  for  to  try  to  ketch  dat 
young  man  en  kill  him  'fo'  he  kin  git  acrost  de  river 
wid  Miss  Sophia.  I  reck'n  dey's  gwyne  to  be  mighty 
rough  times." 

"  Buck  went  off  'thout  waking  me  up." 

11  Well,  I  reck'n  he  did !  Dey  warn't  gwyne  to  mix 
you  up  in  it.  Mars  Buck  he  loaded  up  his  gun  en 
'lowed  he's  gwyne  to  fetch  home  a  Shepherdson  or 
bust.  Well,  dey'll  be  plenty  un  'm  dah,  I  reck'n,  en 
you  bet  you  he'll  fetch  one  ef  he  gits  a  chanst." 

I  took  up  the  river  road  as  hard  as  I  could  put.  By 
and  by  I  begin  to  hear  guns  a  good  ways  off.  When 
I  came  in  sight  of  the  log  store  and  the  woodpile 
where  the  steamboats  lands  I  worked  along  under  the 
trees  and  brush  till  I  got  to  a  good  place,  and  then  I 
clumb  up  into  the  forks  of  a  cottonwood  that  was  out 
of  reach,  and  watched.  There  was  a  wood-rank  four 
foot  high  a  little  ways  in  front  of  the  tree,  and  first  I 
was  going  to  hide  behind  that;  but  maybe  it  was 
luckier  I  didn't. 

There  was  four  or  five  men  cavorting  around  on  their 
horses  in  the  open  place  before  the  log  store,  cussing 
and  yelling,  and  trying  to  get  at  a  couple  of  young 
chaps  that  was  behind  the  wood-rank  alongside  of 
the  steamboat  landing;  but  they  couldn't  come  it. 


Huckleberry  Finn  157 

Every  time  one  of  them  showed  himself  on  the  river 
side  of  the  woodpile  he  got  shot  at.  The  two  boys 
was  squatting  back  to  back  behind  the  pile,  so  they 
could  watch  both  ways. 

By  and  by  the  men  stopped  cavorting  around  and 
yelling.  They  started  riding  towards  the  store ;  then 
up  gets  one  of  the  boys,  draws  a  steady  bead  over  the 
wood-rank,  and  drops  one  of  them  out  of  his  saddle. 
All  the  men  jumped  off  of  their  horses  and  grabbed  the 
hurt  one  and  started  to  carry  him  to  the  store ;  and 
that  minute  the  two  boys  started  on  the  run.  They 
got  half  way  to  the  tree  I  was  in  before  the  men 
noticed.  Then  the  men  see  them,  and  jumped  on 
their  horses  and  took  out  after  them.  They  gained  on 
the  boys,  but  it  didn't  do  no  good,  the  boys  had  too 
good  a  start;  they  got  to  the  woodpile  that  was  in 
front  of  my  tree,  and  slipped  in  behind  it,  and  so  they 
had  the  bulge  on  the  men  again.  One  of  the  boys 
was  Buck,  and  the  other  was  a  slim  young  chap  about 
nineteen  years  old. 

The  men  ripped  around  awhile,  and  then  rode  away. 
As  soon  as  they  was  out  of  sight  I  sung  out  to  Buck 
and  told  him.  He  didn't  know  what  to  make  of  my 
voice  coming  out  of  the  tree  at  first.  He  was  awful 
surprised.  He  told  me  to  watch  out  sharp  and  let  him 
know  when  the  men  come  in  sight  again ;  said  they 
was  up  to  some  devilment  or  other  —  wouldn't  be  gene 
long.  I  wished  I  was  out  of  that  tree,  but  I  dasn't 
come  down.  Buck  begun  to  cry  and  rip,  and  'lowed 
that  him  and  his  cousin  Joe  (that  was  the  other  young 
chap)  would  make  up  for  this  day  yet.  He  said  his 
father  and  his  two  brothers  was  killed,  and  two  or 
three  of  the  enemy.  Said  the  Shepherdsons  laid  for 
them  in  ambush.  Buck  said  his  father  and  brothers 
ought  to  waited  for  their  relations  —  the  Shepherdsons 
was  too  strong  for  them.  I  asked  him  what  was  be- 


158  Huckleberry  Finn 

come  of  young  Harney  and  Miss  Sophia.  He  said 
they'd  got  across  the  river  and  was  safe.  I  was  glad 
of  that;  but  the  way  Buck  did  take  on  because  he 
didn't  manage  to  kill  Harney  that  day  he  shot  at  him 
—  I  hain't  ever  heard  anything  like  it. 

All  of  a  sudden,  bang!  bang!  bang!  goes  three  or 
four  guns  —  the  men  had  slipped  around  through  the 
woods  and  come  in  from  behind  without  their  horses ! 
The  boys  jumped  for  the  river  —  both  of  them  hurt  — 
and  as  they  swum  down  the  current  the  men  run  along 
the  bank  shooting  at  them  and  singing  out,  "Kill 
them,  kill  them  !"  It  made  me  so  sick  I  most  fell  out 
of  the  tree.  I  ain't  a-going  to  tell  all  that  happened  — 
it  would  make  me  sick  again  if  I  was  to  do  that.  I 
wished  I  hadn't  ever  come  ashore  that  night  to  see 
such  things.  I  ain't  ever  going  to  get  shut  of  them  — 
lots  of  times  I  dream  about  them. 

I  stayed  in  the  tree  till  it  begun  to  get  dark,  afraid 
to  come  down.  Sometimes  I  heard  guns  away  off  in 
the  woods ;  and  twice  I  seen  little  gangs  of  men  gallop 
past  the  log  store  with  guns ;  so  I  reckoned  the  trouble 
was  still  a-going  on.  I  was  mighty  downhearted;  so  I 
made  up  my  mind  I  wouldn't  ever  go  anear  that  house 
again,  because  I  reckoned  I  was  to  blame,  somehow. 
I  judged  that  that  piece  of  paper  meant  that  Miss 
Sophia  was  to  meet  Harney  somewheres  at  half-past 
two  and  run  off;  and  I  judged  I  ought  to  told  her 
father  about  that  paper  and  the  curio  as  way  she  acted, 
and  then  maybe  he  would  a  locked  her  up,  and  this 
awful  mess  wouldn't  ever  happened. 

When  I  got  down  out  of  the  tree  I  crept  along  down 
the  river  bank  a  piece,  and  found  the  two  bodies  laying 
in  the  edge  of  the  water,  and  tugged  at  them  till  I  got 
them  ashore;  then  I  covered  up  their  faces,  and  got 
away  as  quick  as  I  could.  I  cried  a  little  when  I  was 
covering  up  Buck's  face,  for  he  was  mighty  good  to  me. 


Huckleberry  Finn  159 

It  was  just  dark  now.  I  never  went  near  the  house, 
but  struck  through  the  woods  and  made  for  the 
swamp.  Jim  warn't  on  his  island,  so  I  tramped  off  in 
a  hurry  for  the  crick,  and  crowded  through  the  willows, 
red-hot  to  jump  aboard  and  get  out  of  that  awful 
country.  The  raft  was  gone !  My  souls,  but  I  was 
scared!  I  couldn't  get  my  breath  for  most  a  minute. 
Then  I  raised  a  yell.  A  voice  not  twenty-five  foot 
from  me  says : 

"  Good  Ian' !  is  dat  you,  honey?  Doan'  make  no 
noise." 

It  was  Jim's  voice  —  nothing  ever  sounded  so  good 
before.  I  run  along  the  bank  a  piece  and  got  aboard, 
and  Jim  he  grabbed  me  and  hugged  me,  he  was  so  glad 
to  see  me.  He  says : 

"  Laws  bless  you,  chile,  I  'uz  right  down  sho'  you's 
dead  agin.  Jack's  been  heah;  he  say  he  reck'n  you's 
ben  shot,  kase  you  didn'  come  home  no  mo' ;  so  I's 
jes'  dis  minute  a  startin'  de  raf  down  towards  de  mouf 
er  de  crick,  so's  to  be  all  ready  for  to  shove  out  en 
leave  soon  as  Jack  comes  agin  en  tells  me  for  certain 
you  is  dead.  Lawsy,  I's  mighty  glad  to  git  you  back 
again,  honey." 

I  says: 

"All  right  —  that's  mighty  good;  they  won't  find 
me,  and  they'll  think  I've  been  killed,  and  floated  down 
the  river  —  there's  something  up  there  that  '11  help  them 
think  so  —  so  don't  you  lose  no  time,  Jim,  but  just 
shove  off  for  the  big  water  as  fast  as  ever  you  can." 

I  never  felt  easy  till  the  raft  was  two  mile  below 
"^ there  and  out  in  the  middle  of  the  Mississippi.  Then 
we  hung  up  our  signal  lantern,  and  judged  that  we  was 
free  and  safe  once  more.  I  hadn't  had  a  bite  to  eat 
since  yesterday,  so  Jim  he  got  out  some  corn-dodgers 
and  buttermilk,  and  pork  and  cabbage  and  greens  — 
there  ain't  nothing  in  the  world  so  good  when  it's 


160  Huckleberry  Finn 

cooked  right  —  and  whilst  I  eat  my  supper  we  talked 
and  had  a  good  time.  I  was  powerful  glad  to  get 
away  from  the  feuds,  and  so  was  Jim  to  get  away  from 
the  swamp.  We  said  there  warn't  no  home  like  a 
raft,  after  all.  Other  places  do  seem  so  cramped  up 
and  smothery,  but  a  raft  don't.  YQU  feel  mighty  free 
and  easy  and  comfortable  on  a  raft. 


CHAPTER    XIX. 

*T"WO  or  three  days  and  nights  went  by ;  I  reckon  I 
I  might  say  they  swum  by,  they  slid  along  so  quiet 
and  smooth  and  lovely.  Here  is  the  way  we  put  in 
the  time.  It  was  a  monstrous  big  river  down  there  — 
sometimes  a  mile  and  a  half  wide ;  we  run  nights,  and 
laid  up  and  hid  daytimes;  soon  as  night  was  most 
gone  we  stopped  navigating  and  tied  up  —  nearly 
always  in  the  dead  water  under  a  towhead ;  and  then 
cut  young  cottonwoods  and  willows,  and  hid  the  raft 
with  them.  Then  we  set  out  the  lines.  Next  we  slid 
into  the  river  and  had  a  swim,  so  as  to  freshen  up  and 
cool  off;  then  we  set  down  on  the  sandy  bottom  where 
the  water  was  about  knee  deep,  and  watched  the  day 
light  come.  Not  a  sound  anywheres  —  perfectly  still 
—  just  like  the  whole  world  was  asleep,  only  sometimes 
the  bullfrogs  a-cluttering,  maybe.  The  first  thing  to 
see,  looking  away  over  the  water,  was  a  kind  of  dull 
line  —  that  was  the  woods  on  t'other  side;  you 
couldn't  make  nothing  else  out;  then  a  pale  place  in 
the  sky ;  then  more  paleness  spreading  around ;  then 
the  river  softened  up  away  off,  and  warn't  black  any 
more,  but  gray;  you  could  see  little  dark  spots  drifting 
along  ever  so  far  away  —  trading  scows,  and  such 
things;  and  long  black  streaks  —  rafts;  sometimes 
you  could  hear  a  sweep  screaking;  or  jumbled  up 
voices,  it  was  so  still,  and  sounds  come  so  far ;  and  by 
and  by  you  could  see  a  streak  on  the  water  which  you 
11  ( 161 ) 


162  Huckleberry  Finn 

know  by  the  look  of  the  streak  that  there's  a  snag 
there  in  a  swift  current  which  breaks  on  it  and  makes 
that  streak  look  that  way ;  and  you  see  the  mist  curl 
up  off  of  the  water,  and  the  east  reddens  up,  and  the 
river,  and  you  make  out  a  log-cabin  in  the  edge  of 
the  woods,  away  on  the  bank  on  t'other  side  of  the 
river,  being  a  woodyard,  likely,  and  piled  by  them 
cheats  so  you  can  throw  a  dog  through  it  anywheres ; 
then  the  nice  breeze  springs  up,  and  comes  fanning 
you  from  over  there,  so  cool  and  fresh  and  sweet  to 
smell  on  account  of  the  woods  and  the  flowers ;  but 
sometimes  not  that  way,  because  they've  left  dead  fish 
laying  around,  gars  and  such,  and  they  do  get  pretty 
rank;  and  next  you've  got  the  full  day,  and  every 
thing  smiling  in  the  sun,  and  the  song-birds  just 
going  it! 

A  little  smoke  couldn't  be  noticed  now,  so  we  would 
take  some  fish  off  of  the  lines  and  cook  up  a  hot  break 
fast.  And  afterwards  we  would  watch  the  lonesome- 
ness  of  the  river,  and  kind  of  lazy  along,  and  by  and 
by  lazy  off  to  sleep.  Wake  up  by  and  by,  and  look  to 
see  what  done  it,  and  maybe  see  a  steamboat  coughing 
along  up-stream,  so  far  off  towards  the  other  side  you 
couldn't  tell  nothing  about  her  only  whether  she  was  a 
stern-wheel  or  side-wheel ;  then  for  about  an  hour  there 
wouldn't  be  nothing  to  hear  nor  nothing  to  see  —  just 
solid  lonesomeness.  Next  you'd  see  a  raft  sliding  by, 
away  off  yonder,  and  maybe  a  galoot  on  it  chopping, 
because  they're  most  always  doing  it  on  a  raft;  you'd 
see  the  axe  flash  and  come  down  —  you  don't 
hear  nothing;  you  see  that  axe  go  up  again,  and  by 
the  time  it's  above  the  man's  head  then  you  hear  the 
k 'chunk  / — it  had  took  all  that  time  to  come  over  the 
water.  So  we  would  put  in  the  day,  lazying  around, 
listening  to  the  stillness.  Once  there  was  a  thick  fog, 
and  the  rafts  and  things  that  went  by  was  beating  tin 


Huckleberry  Pirni  163 

pans  so  the  steamboats  wouldn't  run  over  them.  A 
scow  or  a  raft  went  by  so  close  we  could  hear  them 
talking  and  cussing  and  laughing  —  heard  them  plain; 
but  we  couldn't  see  no  sign  of  them;  it  made  you  feel 
crawly ;  it  was  like  spirits  carrying  on  that  way  in  the 
air.  Jim  said  he  believed  it  was  spirits ;  but  I  says  : 

11  No;   spirits  wouldn't  say,  '  Dern  the  dern  fog.'  ' 

Soon  as  it  was  night  out  we  shoved ;  when  we  got 
her  out  to  about  the  middle  we  let  her  alone,  and  let 
her  float  wherever  the  current  wanted  her  to ;  then  we 
lit  the  pipes,  and  dangled  our  legs  in  the  water,  and 
talked  about  all  kinds  of  things  —  we  was  always 
naked,  day  and  night,  whenever  the  mosquitoes  would 
let  us  —  the  new  clothes  Buck's  folks  made  for  me  was 
too  good  to  be  comfortable,  and  besides  I  didn't  go 
much  on  clothes,  nohow. 

Sometimes  we'd  have  that  whole  river  all  to  ourselves 
for  the  longest  time.  Yonder  was  the  banks  and  the 
islands,  across  the  water;  and  maybe  a  spark  —  which 
was  a  candle  in  a  cabin  window;  and  sometimes  on  the 
water  you  could  see  a  spark  or  two  —  on  a  raft  or  a 
scow,  you  know ;  and  maybe  you  could  hear  a  fiddle 
or  a  song  coming  over  from  one  of  them  crafts.  It's 
lovely  to  live  on  a  raft.  We  had  the  sky  up  there,  all 
speckled  with  stars,  and  we  used  to  lay  on  our  backs 
and  look  up  at  them ,  and  discuss  about  whether  they 
was  made  or  only  just  happened.  Jim  he  allowed 
they  was  made,  but  I  allowed  they  happened ;  I  judged 
It  would  have  took  too  long  to  make  so  many.  Jim 
said  the  moon  could  a  laid  them;  well,  that  looked 
kind  of  reasonable,  so  I  didn't  say  nothing  against  it, 
because  I've  seen  a  frog  lay  most  as  many,  so  of 
course  it  could  be  done.  We  used  to  watch  the  stars 
that  fell,  too,  and  see  them  streak  down.  Jim  allowed 
they'd  got  spoiled  and  was  hove  out  of  the  nest. 

Once  or  twice  of  a  night  we  would  sec  a  steamboat 
x 


164  Huckleberry  Finn 

slipping  along  in  the  dark,  and  now  and  then  she 
would  belch  a  whole  world  of  sparks  up  out  of  her 
chimbleys,  and  they  would  rain  down  in  the  river  and 
look  awful  pretty;  then  she  would  turn  a  corner  and 
her  lights  would  wink  out  and  her  powwow  shut  off 
and  leave  the  river  still  again ;  and  by  and  by  her 
waves  would  get  to  us,  a  long  time  after  she  was  gone, 
and  joggle  the  raft  a  bit,  and  after  that  you  wouldn't 
hear  nothing  for  you  couldn't  tell  how  long,  except 
maybe  frogs  or  something. 

After  midnight  the  people  on  shore  went  to  bed, 
and  then  for  two  or  three  hours  the  shores  was  black  — 
no  more  sparks  in  the  cabin  windows.  These  sparks 
was  our  clock  —  the  first  one  that  showed  again  meant 
morning  was  coming,  so  we  hunted  a  place  to  hide  and 
tie  up  right  away. 

One  morning  about  daybreak  I  found  a  canoe  and 
crossed  over  a  chute  to  the  main  shore  —  it  was  only 
two  hundred  yards  —  and  paddled  about  a  mile  up  a 
crick  amongst  the  cypress  woods,  to  see  if  I  couldn't 
get  some  berries.  Just  as  I  was  passing  a  place  where 
a  kind  of  a  cowpath  crossed  the  crick,  here  comes  a 
couple  of  men  tearing  up  the  path  as  tight  as  they 
could  foot  it.  I  thought  I  was  a  goner,  for  whenever 
anybody  was  after  anybody  I  judged  it  was  me — or 
maybe  Jim.  I  was  about  to  dig  out  from  there  in  a 
hurry,  but  they  was  pretty  close  to  me  then,  and  sung 
out  and  begged  me  to  save  their  lives  —  said  they 
hadn't  been  doing  nothing,  and  was  being  chased  for 
it  —  said  there  was  men  and  dogs  a-coming.  They 
wanted  to  jump  right  in,  but  I  says: 

11  Don't  you  do  it.  I  don't  hear  the  dogs  and  horses 
yet;  you've  got  time  to  crowd  through  the  brush  and 
get  up  the  crick  a  little  ways ;  then  you  take  to  the 
water  and  wade  down  to  me  and  get  in  —  that'll  throw 
the  dogs  off  the  scent." 


Huckleberry  Finn  165 

They  done  it,  and  soon  as  they  was  aboard  I  lit 
out  for  our  towhead,  and  in  about  five  or  ten  minutes 
we  heard  the  dogs  and  the  men  away  off,  shouting. 
We  heard  them  come  along  towards  the  crick,  but 
couldn't  see  them;  they  seemed  to  stop  and  fool 
around  awhile;  then,  as  we  got  further  and  further 
away  all  the  time,  we  couldn't  hardly  hear  them  at  all; 
by  the  time  we  had  left  a  mile  of  woods  behind  us  and 
struck  the  river,  everything  was  quiet,  and  we  paddled 
over  to  the  towhead  and  hid  in  the  cottonwoods  and 
was  safe. 

One  of  these  fellows  was  about  seventy  or  upwards, 
and  had  a  bald  head  and  very  gray  whiskers.  He  had 
an  old  battered-tip  slouch  hat  on,  and  a  greasy  blue 
woollen  shirt,  and  ragged  old  blue  jeans  britches  stuffed 
into  his  boot-tops,  and  home-knit  galluses  —  no,  he 
only  had  one.  He  had  an  old  long-tailed  blue  jeans 
coat  with  slick  brass  buttons  flung  over  his  arm,  and 
both  of  them  had  big,  fat,  ratty-looking  carpet-bags. 

The  other  fellow  was  about  thirty,  and  dressed  about 
as  ornery.  After  breakfast  we  all  laid  off  and  talked, 
and  the  first  thing  that  come  out  was  that  these  chaps 
didn't  know  one  another. 

"  What  got  you  into  trouble?"  says  the  baldhead  to 
t'other  chap. 

"  Well,  I'd  been  selling  an  article  to  take  the  tartar 
off  the  teeth  —  and  it  does  take  it  off,  too,  and  generly 
the  enamel  along  with  it  —  but  I  stayed  about  one 
night  longer  than  I  ought  to,  and  was  just  in  the  act  of 
sliding  out  when  I  ran  across  you  on  the  trail  this  side 
of  town,  and  you  told  me  they  were  coming,  and  begged 
me  to  help  you  to  get  off.  So  I  told  you  I  was  ex 
pecting  trouble  myself,  and  would  scatter  out  with  you. 
That's  the  whole  yarn  —  what's  yourn?  " 

"Well,  I'd  ben  a-runnin'  a  little  temperance  revival 
thar  'bout  a  week,  and  was  the  pet  of  the  women 


C 


166  Huckleberry  Finn 

folks,  big  and  little,  for  I  was  makin'  it  mighty  warm 
for  the  rummies,  I  tell  you,  and  takin'  as  much  as  five 
or  six  dollars  a  night  —  ten  cents  a  head,  children  and 
niggers  free  —  and  business  a-growin'  all  the  time, 
when  somehow  or  another  a  little  report  got  around 
last  night  that  I  had  a  way  of  puttin'  in  my  time  with 
a  private  jug  on  the  sly.  A  nigger  rousted  me  out 
this  mornin',  and  told  me  the  people  was  getherin'  on 
the  quiet  with  their  dogs  and  horses,  and  they'd  be 
along  pretty  soon  and  give  me  'bout  half  an  hour's 
start,  and  then  run  me  down  if  they  could ;  and  if  they 
got  me  they'd  tar  and  feather  me  and  ride  me  on  a 
rail,  sure.  I  didn't  wait  for  no  breakfast — I  warn't 
hungry." 

"Old  man,"  said  the  young  one,  "I  reckon  we 
might  double-team  it  together;  what  do  you  think?" 

"  I  ain't  undisposed.     What's  your  line  —  mainly?" 

"Jour  printer  by  trade;  do  a  little  in  patent  medi 
cines;  theater-actor  —  tragedy,  you  know;  take  a  turn 
to  mesmerism  and  phrenology  when  there's  a  chance; 
teach  singing-geography  school  for  a  change ;  sling  a 
lecture  sometimes  —  oh,  I  do  lots  of  things  —  most 
anything  that  comes  handy,  so  it  ain't  work.  What's 
your  lay?" 

44  I've  done  considerble  in  the  doctoring  way  in  my 
time.  Layin'  on  o'  hands  is  my  best  holt  —  for  cancer 
and  paralysis,  and  sich  things;  and  I  k'n  tell  a  fortune 
pretty  good  when  I've  got  somebody  along  to  find  out 
the  facts  for  me.  Preachin's  my  line,  too,  and 
workin'  camp-meetin's,  and  missionaryin'  around." 

Nobody  never  said  anything  for  a  while;  then  the 
young  man  hove  a  sigh  and  says : 

"Alas!" 

14  What  're  you  alassin'  about?"  says  the  bald- 
head. 

'*  To  think  I  should  have  lived  to  be  leading  such  a 


Huckleberry  Finn  167 

life,  and  be  degraded  down  into  such  company."    And 
he  begun  to  wipe  the  corner  of  his  eye  with  a  rag. 

"Bern  your  skin,  ain't  the  company  good  enough 
for  you?"  says  the  baldhead,  pretty  pert  and  uppish. 

"  Yes,  it  is  good  enough  for  me;  it's  as  good  as  I 
deserve ;  for  who  fetched  me  so  low  when  I  was  so 
high?  /did  myself.  I  don't  blame  j^w/,  gentlemen  — 
far  from  it;  I  don't  blame  anybody.  I -deserve  it  all. 
Let  the  cold  world  do  its  worst;  one  thing  I  know  — 
there's  a  grave  somewhere  for  me.  The  world  may 
go  on  just  as  it's  always  done,  and  take  everything 
from  me  —  loved  ones,  property,  everything;  but  it 
can't  take  that.  Some  day  I'll  lie  down  in  it  and  for 
get  it  all,  and  my  poor  broken  heart  will  be  at  rest." 
He  went  on  a-wiping. 

"  Drot  your  pore  broken  heart,"  says  the  baldhead; 
11  what  are  you  heaving  your  pore  broken  heart  at  us 
f'r?  We  hain't  done  nothing." 

"No,  I  know  you  haven't.  I  ain't  blaming  you, 
gentlemen.  I  brought  myself  down  —  yes,  I  did  it 
myself.  It's  right  I  should  suffer  —  perfectly  right  — 
I  don't  make  any  moan." 

"Brought  you  down  from  whar?  Whar  was  you 
brought  down  from?" 

"Ah,  you  would  not  believe  me;  the  world  never 
believes  —  let  it  pass — 'tis  no  matter.  The  secret  of 
my  birth — " 

'  The  secret  of  your  birth  !     Do  you  mean  to  say — " 

"  Gentlemen,"  says  the  young  man,  very  solemn, 
"  I  will  reveal  it  to  you,  for  I  feel  I  may  have  confi 
dence  in  you.  By  rights  I  am  a  duke !" 

Jim's  eyes  bugged  out  when  he  heard  that;  and  I 
reckon  mine  did,  too.  Then  the  baldhead  says: 
"No!  you  can't  mean  it?" 

'  Yes.     My    great-grandfather,    eldest    son    of    the 
Duke   of  Bridgewater,  fled   to  this  country  about  the 


168  Huckleberry  Finn 

end  of  the  last  century,  to  breathe  the  pure  air  of  free 
dom;  married  here,  and  died,  leaving  a  son,  his  own 
father  dying  about  the  same  time.  The  second  son  of 
the  late  duke  seized  the  titles  and  estates  —  the  infant 
real  duke  was  ignored.  I  am  the  lineal  descendant  of 
that  infant  —  I  am  the  rightful  Duke  of  Bridgewater ; 
and  here  am  I,  forlorn,  torn  from  my  high  estate, 
hunted  of  men,  despised  by  the  cold  world,  ragged, 
worn,  heart-broken,  and  degraded  to  the  companion 
ship  of  felons  on  a  raft!" 

Jim  pitied  him  ever  so  much,  and  so  did  I.  We 
tried  to  comfort  him,  but  he  said  it  warn't  much  use, 
he  couldn't  be  much  comforted ;  said  if  we  was  a  mind 
to  acknowledge  him,  that  would  do  him  more  good 
than  most  anything  else;  so  we  said  we  would,  if  he 
would  tell  us  how.  He  said  we  ought  to  bow  when 
we  spoke  to  him,  and  say  "Your  Grace,"  or  "My 
Lord,"  or  "Your  Lordship" — and  he  wouldn't  mind 
it  if  we  called  him  plain  "Bridgewater,"  which,  he 
said,  was  a  title  anyway,  and  not  a  name;  and  one  of 
us  ought  to  wait  on  him  at  dinner,  and  do  any  little 
thing  for  him  he  wanted  done. 

Well,  that  was  all  easy,  so  we  done  it.  All  through 
dinner  Jim  stood  around  and  waited  on  him,  and  says, 
"Will  yo'  Grace  have  some  o'  dis  or  some  o*  dat?" 
and  so  on,  and  a  body  could  see  it  was  mighty  pleasing 
to  him. 

But  the  old  man  got  pretty  silent  by  and  by  —  didn't 
have  much  to  say,  and  didn't  look  pretty  comfortable 
over  all  that  petting  that  was  going  on  around  that 
duke.  He  seemed  to  have  something  on  his  mind. 
So,  along  in  the  afternoon,  he  says: 

"  Looky  here,  Bilgewater,"  he  says,  "I'm  nation 
sorry  for  you,  but  you  ain't  the  only  person  that's  had 
troubles  like  that." 

"No?" 


Huckleberry  Finn  169 

"No,  you  ain't.  You  ain't  the  only  person  that's 
ben  snaked  down  wrongfully  out'n  a  high  place." 

"Alas!" 

"No,  you  ain't  the  only  person  that's  had  a  secret 
of  his  birth."  And,  by  jings,  he  begins  to  cry. 

' '  Hold  !     What  do  you  mean  ?' ' 

"  Bilgewater,  kin  I  trust  you?"  says  the  old  man, 
still  sort  of  sobbing. 

"To  the  bitter  death!"  He  took  the  old  man  by 
the  hand  and  squeezed  it,  and  says,  "That  secret  of 
your  being :  speak  ! ' ' 

"  Bilgewater,  I  am  the  late  Dauphin !" 

You  bet  you,  Jim  and  me  stared  this  time.  Then 
the  duke  says : 

"You  are  what?" 

"  Yes,  my  friend,  it  is  too  true  —  your  eyes  is  look- 
in*  at  this  very  moment  on  the  pore  disappeared 
Dauphin,  Looy  the  Seventeen,  son  of  Looy  the  Six 
teen  and  Marry  Antonette." 

"You!  At  your  age!  No!  You  mean  you're 
the  late  Charlemagne ;  you  must  be  six  or  seven  hun 
dred  years  old,  at  the  very  least." 

"Trouble  has  done  it,  Bilgewater,  trouble  has  done 
it;  trouble  has  brung  these  gray  hairs  and  this  prema 
ture  balditude.  Yes,  gentlemen,  you  see  before  you, 
in  blue  jeans  and  misery,  the  wanderin',  exiled,  tram- 
pled-on,  and  sufferin'  rightful  King  of  France." 

Well,  he  cried  and  took  on  so  that  me  arid  Jim 
didn't  know  hardly  what  to  do,  we  was  so  sorry — and 
so  glad  and  proud  we'd  got  him  with  us,  too.  So  we 
set  in,  like  we  done  before  with  the  duke,  and  tried  to 
comfort  him.  But  he  said  it  warn't  no  use,  nothing 
but  to  be  dead  and  done  with  it  all  could  do  him  any 
good ;  though  he  said  it  often  made  him  feel  easier  and 
better  for  a  while  if  people  treated  him  according  to 
his  rights,  and  got  down  on  one  knee  to  speak  to  him, 


170  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  always  called  him* 'Your  Majesty,"  and  waited 
on  him  first  at  meals,  and  didn't  set  down  in  his 
presence  till  he  asked  them.  So  Jim  and  me  set  to 
majestying  him,  and  doing  this  and  that  and  t'other 
for  him,  and  standing  up  till  he  told  us  we  might  set 
down.  This  done  him  heaps  of  good,  and  so  he  got 
cheerful  and  comfortable.  But  the  duke  kind  of  soured 
on  him,  and  didn't  look  a  bit  satisfied  with  the  way 
things  was  going;  still,  the  king  acted  real  friendly 
towards  him,  and  said  the  duke's  great-grandfather 
and  all  the  other  Dukes  of  Bilgewater  was  a  good  deal 
thought  of  by  his  father,  and  was  allowed  to  come  to 
the  palace  considerable ;  but  the  duke  stayed  huffy  a 
good  while,  till  by  and  by  the  king  says: 

"  Like  as  not  we  got  to  be  together  a  blamed  long 
time  on  this  h-yer  raft,  Bilgewater,  and  so  what's  the 
use  o'  your  bein'  sour?  It  '11  only  make  things  on- 
comfortable.  It  ain't  my  fault  I  warn't  born  a  duke, 
it  ain't  your  fault  you  warn't  born  a  king  —  so  what's 
the  use  to  worry?  Make  the  best  o'  things  the  way 
you  find  'em,  says  I  —  that's  my  motto.  This  ain't 
no  bad  thing  that  we've  struck  here  —  plenty  grub 
and  an  easy  life  —  come,  give  us  your  hand,  duke,  and 
le's  all  be  friends." 

The  duke  done  it,  and  Jim  and  me  was  pretty  glad 
to  see  it.  It  took  away  all  the  uncomfortableness  and 
we  felt  mighty  good  over  it,  because  it  would  a  been  a 
miserable  business  to  have  any  unfriendliness  on  the 
raft;  for  what  you  want,  above  all  things,  on  a  raft,  is 
for  everybody  to  be  satisfied,  and  feel  right  and  kind 
towards  the  others. 

It  didn't  take  me  long  to  make  up  my  mind  that 
these  liars  warn't  no  kings  nor  dukes  at  all,  but  just 
low-down  humbugs  and  frauds.  But  I  never  said 
nothing,  never  let  on;  kept  it  to  myself;  it's  the  best 
way;  then  you  don't  have  no  quarrels,  and  don't  get 


Huckleberry  Finn  171 

into  no  trouble.  If  they  wanted  us  to  call  them  kings 
and  dukes,  I  hadn't  no  objections,  'long  as  it  would 
keep  peace  in  the  family;  and  it  warn't  no  use  to  tell 
Jim,  so  I  didn't  tell  him.  If  I  never  learnt  nothing 
else  out  of  pap,  I  learnt  that  the  best  way  to  get  along 
with  his  kind  of  people  is  to  let  them  have  their  own 
way. 


CHAPTER   XX. 

THEY  asked  us  considerable  many  questions ;  wanted 
to  know  what  we  covered  up  the  raft  that  way 
for,  and  laid  by  in  the  daytime  instead  of  running  — 
was  Jim  a  runaway  nigger?  Says  I : 

"Goodness  sakes !  would  a  runaway  nigger  run 
south?" 

No,  they  allowed  he  wouldn't.  I  had  to  account 
for  things  some  way,  so  I  says : 

"  My  folks  was  living  in  Pike  County,  in  Missouri, 
where  I  was  born,  and  they  all  died  off  but  me  and  pa 
and  my  brother  Ike.  Pa,  he  'lowed  he'd  break  up 
and  go  down  and  live  with  Uncle  Ben,  who's  got  a 
little  one-horse  place  on  the  river,  forty-four  mile 
below  Orleans.  Pa  was  pretty  poor,  and  had  some 
debts;  so  when  he'd  squared  up  there  warn't  nothing 
left  but  sixteen  dollars  and  our  nigger,  Jim.  That 
warn't  enough  to  take  us  fourteen  hundred  mile,  deck 
passage  nor  no  other  way.  Well,  when  the  river  rose 
pa  had  a  streak  of  luck  one  day ;  he  ketched  this  piece 
of  a  raft;  so  we  reckoned  we'd  go  down  to  Orleans  on 
it.  Pa's  luck  didn't  hold  out;  a  steamboat  run  over 
the  forrard  corner  of  the  raft  one  night,  and  we  all 
went  overboard  and  dove  under  the  wheel ;  Jim  and 
me  come  up  all  right,  but  pa  was  drunk,  and  Ike  was 
only  four  years  old,  so  they  never  come  up  no  more. 
Well,  for  the  next  day  or  two  we  had  considerable 
trouble,  because  people  was  always  coming  out  in  skiffs 
and  trying  to  take  Jim  away  from  me,  saying  they  be- 

(172) 


Huckleberry  Finn  173 

lieved  he  was  a  runaway  nigger.     We  don't  run  day 
times  no  more  now;   nights  they  don't  bother  us." 

The  duke  says : 

1 '  Leave  me  alone  to  cipher  out  a  way  so  we  can  run 
in  the  daytime  if  we  want  to.  I'll  think  the  thing 
over  —  I'll  invent  a  plan  that'll  fix  it.  We'll  let  it 
alone  for  to-day,  because  of  course  we  don't  want  to 
go  by  that  town  yonder  in  daylight  —  it  mightn't  be 
healthy." 

Towards  night  it  begun  to  darken  up  and  look  like 
rain ;  the  heat  lightning  was  squirting  around  low  down 
in  the  sky,  and  the  leaves  was  beginning  to  shiver — it 
was  going  to  be  pretty  ugly,  it  was  easy  to  see  that. 
So  the  duke  and  the  king  went  to  overhauling  our 
wigwam,  to  see  what  the  beds  was  like.  My  bed  was 
a  straw  tick  —  better  than  Jim's,  which  was  a  corn- 
shuck  tick;  there's  always  cobs  around  about  in  a 
shuck  tick,  and  they  poke  into  you  and  hurt;  and 
when  you  roll  over  the  dry  shucks  sound  like  you  was 
rolling  over  in  a  pile  of  dead  leaves ;  it  makes  such  a 
rustling  that  you  wake  up.  Well,  the  duke  allowed  he 
would  take  my  bed;  but  the  king  allowed  he  wouldn't. 
He  says: 

"  I  should  a  reckoned  the  difference  in  rank  would  a 
sejested  to  you  that  a  corn-shuck  bed  warn't  just  fitten 
for  me  to  sleep  on.  Your  Grace  '11  take  the  shuck 
bed  yourself." 

Jim  and  me  was  in  a  sweat  again  for  a  minute,  being 
afraid  there  was  going  to  be  some  more  trouble 
amongst  them:  so  we  was  pretty  glad  when  the  duke 
says: 

'Tis  my  fate  to  be  always  ground  into  the  mire 
under  the  iron  heel  of  oppression.  Misfortune  has 
broken  my  once  haughty  spirit;  I  yield,  I  submit;  'tis 
my  fate.  I  am  alone  in  the  world  —  let  me  suffer;  I 
can  bear  it." 


174  Huckleberry  Finn 

We  got  away  as  soon  as  it  was  good  and  dark.  The 
king  told  us  to  stand  well  out  towards  the  middle  of 
the  river,  and  not  show  a  light  till  we  got  a  long  ways 
below  the  town.  We  come  in  sight  of  the  little  bunch 
of  lights  by  and  by  —  that  was  the  town,  you  know  — 
and  slid  by,  about  a  half  a  mile  out,  all  right.  When 
we  was  three-quarters  of  a  mile  below  we  hoisted  up 
our  signal  lantern;  and  about  ten  o'clock  it  come  on 
to  rain  and  blow  and  thunder  and  lighten  like  every 
thing;  so  the  king  told  us  to  both  stay  on  watch  till 
the  weather  got  better ;  then  him  and  the  duke  crawled 
into  the  wigwam  and  turned  in  for  the  night.  It  was 
my  watch  below  till  twelve,  but  I  wouldn't  a  turned  in 
anyway  if  I'd  had  a  bed,  because  a  body  don't  see 
such  a  storm  as  that  every  day  in  the  week,  not  by  a 
long  sight.  My  souls,  how  the  wind  did  scream  along ! 
And  every  second  or  two  there 'd  come  a  glare  that  lit 
up  the  white-caps  for  a  half  a  mile  around,  and  you'd 
see  the  islands  looking  dusty  through  the  rain,  and  the 
trees  thrashing  around  in  the  wind ;  then  comes  a 
h-whack  ! —  bum  !  bum  !  bumble-umble-um-bum-bum- 
bum-bum  —  and  the  thunder  would  go  rumbling  and 
grumbling  away,  and  quit  —  and  then  rip  comes  an 
other  flash  and  another  sockdolager.  The  waves  most 
washed  me  off  the  raft  sometimes,  but  I  hadn't  any 
clothes  on,  and  didn't  mind.  We  didn't  have  no 
trouble  about  snags;  the  lightning  was  glaring  and 
flittering  around  so  constant  that  we  could  see  them 
plenty  soon  enough  to  throw  her  head  this  way  or  that 
and  miss  them. 

I  had  the  middle  watch,  you  know,  but  I  was  pretty 
sleepy  by  that  time,  so  Jim  he  said  he  would  stand  the 
first  half  of  it  for  me;  he  was  always  mighty  good 
that  way,  Jim  was.  I  crawled  into  the  wigwam,  but 
the  king  and  the  duke  had  their  legs  sprawled  around 
§o  there  warn't  no  show  for  me;  so  I  laid  outside  —  I 


Huckleberry  Finn  175 

didn't  mind  the  rain,  because  it  was  warm,  and  the 
waves  warn't  running  so  high  now.  About  two  they 
come  up  again,  though,  and  Jim  was  going  to  call  me; 
but  he  changed  his  mind,  because  he  reckoned  they 
warn't  high  enough  yet  to  do  any  harm;  but  he  was 
mistaken  about  that,  for  pretty  soon  all  of  a. sudden 
along  comes  a  regular  ripper  and  washed  me  over 
board.  It  most  killed  Jim  a-laughing.  He  was  the 
easiest  nigger  to  laugh  that  ever  was,  anyway. 

I  took  the  watch,  and  Jim  he  laid  down  and  snored 
away ;  and  by  and  by  the  storm  let  up  for  good  and 
all ;  and  the  first  cabin-light  that  showed  I  rousted  him 
out,  and  we  slid  the  raft  into  hiding  quarters  for  the 
day. 

The  king  got  out  an  old  ratty  deck  of  cards  after 
breakfast,  and  him  and  the  duke  played  seven-up  a 
while,  five  cents  a  game.  Then  they  got  tired  of  it, 
and  allowed  they  would  'May  out  a  campaign,"  as 
they  called  it.  The  duke  went  down  into  his  carpet 
bag,  and  fetched  up  a  lot  of  little  printed  bills  and 
read  them  out  loud.  One  bill  said,  "  The  celebrated 
Dr.  Armand  de  Montalban,  of  Paris,"  would  "  lecture 
on  the  Science  of  Phrenology"  at  such  and  such  a 
place,  on  the  blank  day  of  blank,  at  ten  cents  admis 
sion,  and  "furnish  charts  of  character  at  twenty-five 
cents  apiece."  The  duke  said  that  was  him.  In  an 
other  bill  he  was  the  * '  world-renowned  Shakespearian 
tragedian,  Garrick  the  Younger,  of  Drury  Lane,  Lon 
don."  In  other  bills  he  had  a  lot  of  other  names  and 
done  other  wonderful  things,  like  finding  water  and 
gold  with  a  "divining-rod,"  "dissipating  witch 
spells,"  and  so  on.  By  and  by  he  says: 

"  But  the  histrionic  muse  is  the  darling.  Have  you 
ever  trod  the  boards,  Royalty?" 

"  No,"  says  the  king. 

"You  shall,  then,  before  you're  three  days  older, 


176  Huckleberry  Finn 

Fallen  Grandeur,"  says  the  duke.  "The  first  good 
town  we  come  to  we'll  hire  a  hall  and  do  the  sword 
fight  in  Richard  III.  and  the  balcony  scene  in  Romeo 
and  Juliet.  How  does  that  strike  you?" 

"  I'm  in,  up  to  the  hub,  for  anything  that  will  pay, 
Bilgewater;  but,  you  see,  I  don't  know  nothing  about 
play-actin',  and  hain't  ever  seen  much  of  it.  I  was  too 
small  when  pap  used  to  have  'em  at  the  palace.  Do 
you  reckon  you  can  learn  me?" 

"Easy!" 

"All  right.  I'm  jist  a-freezn'  for  something  fresh, 
anyway.  Le's  commence  right  away." 

So  the  duke  he  told  him  all  about  who  Romeo  was 
and  who  Juliet  was,  and  said  he  was  used  to  being 
Romeo,  so  the  king  could  be  Juliet. 

"  But  if  Juliet's  such  a  young  gal,  duke,  my  peeled 
head  and  my  white  whiskers  is  goin'  to  look  oncommon 
odd  on  her,  maybe." 

"No,  don't  you  worry;  these  country  jakes  won't 
ever  think  of  that.  Besides,  you  know,  you'll  be  in 
costume,  and  that  makes  all  the  difference  in  the 
world;  Juliet's  in  a  balcony,  enjoying  the  moonlight 
before  she  goes  to  bed,  and  she's  got  on  her  night 
gown  and  her  ruffled  nightcap.  Here  are  the  costumes 
for  the  parts." 

He  got  out  two  or  three  curtain-calico  suits,  which 
he  said  was  meedyevil  armor  for  Richard  III.  and 
t'other  chap,  and  a  long  white  cotton  nightshirt  and  a 
ruffled  nightcap  to  match.  The  king  was  satisfied ;  so 
the  duke  got  out  his  book  and  read  the  parts  over  in 
the  most  splendid  spread-eagle  way,  prancing  around 
and  acting  at  the  same  time,  to  show  how  it  had  got  to 
be  done ;  then  he  give  the  bock  to  the  king  and  told 
him  to  get  his  part  by  heart. 

There  was  a  little  one-horse  town  about  three  mile 
down  the  bend,  and  after  dinner  the  duke  said  he  had 


Huckleberry  Finn  177 

ciphered  out  his  idea  about  how  to  run  in  daylight 
\vithout  it  being  dangersome  for  Jim;  so  he  allowed 
he  would  go  down  to  the  town  and  fix  that  thing. 
The  king  allowed  he  would  go,  too,  and  see  if  he 
couldn't  strike  something.  We  was  out  of  coffee,  so 
Jim  said  I  better  go  along  with  them  in  the  canoe  arfd 


get  some. 


When  we  got  there  there  warn't  nobody  stirring; 
streets  empty,  and  perfectly  dead  and  still,  like  Sun 
day.  We  found  a  sick  nigger  sunning  himself  in  a 
back  yard,  and  he  said  everybody  that  warn't  too 
young  or  too  sick  or  too  old  was  gone  to  camp- 
rneeting,  about  two  mile  back  in  the  woods.  The  king 
got  the  directions,  and  allowed  he'd  go  and  work  that 
camp-meeting  for  all  it  was  worth,  and  I  might  go, 
too. 

The  duke  said  what  he  was  after  was  a  printing- 
office.  We  found  it;  a  little  bit  of  a  concern,  up  over 
a  carpenter  shop  —  carpenters  and  printers  all  gone  to 
the  meeting,  and  no  doors  locked  It  was  a  dirty, 
littered-up  place,  and  had  ink  marks,  and  handbills 
with  pictures  of  horses  and  runaway  niggers  on  them, 
all  over  the  walls.  The  duke  shed  his  coat  and  said  he 
was  all  right  now.  So  me  and  the  king  lit  out  for  the 
camp-meeting. 

We  got  there  in  about  a  half  an  hour  fairly  dripping, 
for  it  was  a  most  awful  hot  day.  There  was  as  much 
as  a  thousand  people  there  from  twenty  mile  around. 
The  woods  was  full  of  teams  and  wagons,  hitched 
everywheres,  feeding  out  of  the  wagon-troughs  and 
stomping  to  keep  off  the  flies.  There  was  sheds  made 
out  of  poles  and  roofed  over  with  branches,  where  they 
had  lemonade  and  gingerbread  to  sell,  and  piles  of 
watermelons  and  green  corn  and  such-like  truck. 

The  preaching  was  going  on  under  the  same  kinds 
of  sheds,  only  they  was  bigger  and  held  crowds  of 
12 


178  Huckleberry  Finn 

people.  The  benches  was  made  out  of  outside  slabs 
of  logs,  with  holes  bored  in  the  round  side  to  drive 
sticks  into  for  legs.  They  didn't  have  no  backs. 
The  preachers  had  high  platforms  to  stand  on  at  one 
end  of  the  sheds.  The  women  had  on  sun-bonnets; 
and  some  had  linsey-woolsey  frocks,  some  gingham 
ones,  and  a  few  of  the  young  ones  had  on  calico. 
Some  of  the  young  men  was  barefooted,  and  some  of 
the  children  didn't  have  on  any  clothes  but  just  a  tow- 
linen  shirt.  Some  of  the  old  women  was  knitting,  and 
some  of  the  young  folks  was  courting  on  the  sly. 

The  first  shed  we  come  to  the  preacher  was  lining 
out  a  hymn.  He  lined  out  two  lines,  everybody  sung 
it,  and  it  was  kind  of  grand  to  hear  it,  there  was  so 
many  of  them  and  they  done  it  in  such  a  rousing  way ; 
then  he  lined  out  two  more  for  them  to  sing  —  and  so 
on.  The  people  woke  up  more  and  more,  and  sung 
louder  and  louder ;  and  towards  the  end  some  begun 
to  groan,  and  some  begun  to  shout.  Then  the  preacher 
begun  to  preach,  and  begun  in  earnest,  too;  and  went 
weaving  first  to  one  side  of  the  platform  and  then  the 
other,  and  then  a-leaning  down  over  the  front  of  it, 
with  his  arms  and  his  body  going  all  the  time,  and 
shouting  his  words  out  with  all  his  might ;  and  every 
now  and  then  he  would  hold  up  his  Bible  and  spread  it 
open,  and  kind  of  pass  it  around  this  way  and  that, 
shouting,  "It's  the  brazen  serpent  in  the  wilderness ! 
Look  upon  it  and  live!"  And  people  would  shout 
out,  "Glory! — A-a.-men  !  And  so  he  went  on,  and 
the  people  groaning  and  crying  and  saying  amen : 

"Oh,  come  to  the  mourners'  bench!  come,  black 
with  sin !  {amen  /)  come,  sick  and  sore !  (amen  /) 
come,  lame  and  halt  and  blind !  (amen  /)  come,  pore 
and  needy,  sunk  in  shame !  (a-a-men  /)  come,  all 
that's  worn  and  soiled  and  suffering! — come  with  a 
broken  spirit !  come  with  a  contrite  heart !  come  in 


Huckleberry  Finn  179 

your  rags  and  sin  and  dirt !  the  waters  that  cleanse  is 
free,  the  door  of  heaven  stands  open  —  oh,  enter  in 
and  be  at  rest!"  (a-a-men  !  glory,  glory  hallelujah  /) 

And  so  on.  You  couldn't  make  out  what  the 
preacher  said  any  more,  on  account  of  the  shouting 
and  crying.  Folks  got  up  everywheres  in  the  crowd, 
and  worked  their  way  just  by  main  strength  to  the 
mourners'  bench,  with  the  tears  running  down  their 
faces ;  and  when  all  the  mourners  had  got  up  there  to 
the  front  benches  in  a  crowd,  they  sung  and  shouted 
and  flung,  themselves  down  on  the  straw,  just  crazy 
and  wild. ! 

Well,  trie  first  I  knowed  the  king  got  a-going,  and 
you  could  hear  him  over  everybody;  and  next  he 
went  a-charging  up  on  to  the  platform,  and  the 
preacher  he  begged  him  to  speak  to  the  people,  and 
he  done  it.  He  told  them  he  was  a  pirate  —  been  a 
pirate  for  thirty  years  out  in  the  Indian  Ocean  —  and 
his  crew  was  thinned  out  considerable  last  spring  in  a 
fight,  and  he  was  home  now  to  take  out  some  fresh 
men,  and  thanks  to  goodness  he'd  been  robbed  last 
night  and  put  ashore  off  of  a  steamboat  without  a  cent, 
and  he  was  glad  of  it ;  it  was  the  blessedest  thing  that 
ever  happened  to  him,  because  he  was  a  changed  man 
now,  and  happy  for  the  first  time  in  his  life;  and, 
poor  as  he  was,  he  was  going  to  start  right  off  and 
work  his  way  back  to  the  Indian  Ocean,  and  put  in  the 
rest  of  his  life  trying  to  turn  the  pirates  into  the  true 
path;  for  he  could  do  it  better  than  anybody  else, 
being  acquainted  with  all  pirate  crews  in  that  ocean ; 
and  though  it  would  take  him  a  long  time  to  get 
there  without  money,  he  would  get  there  anyway,  and 
every  time  he  convinced  a  pirate  he  would  say  to  him, 
"  Don't  you  thank  me,  don't  you  give  me  no  credit; 
it  all  belongs  to  them  dear  people  in  Pokeville  camp- 
meeting,  natural  brothers  and  benefactors  of  the  race, 


180  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  that  dear  preacher  there,  the  truest  friend  a  pirate 
ever  had !" 

And  then  he  busted  into  tears,  and  so  did  everybody. 
Then  somebody  sings  out,  "Take  up  a  collection  for 
him,  take  up  a  collection!"  Well,  a  half  a  dozen 
made  a  jump  to  do  it,  but  somebody  sings  out,  "  Let 
him  pass  the  hat  around!"  Then  everybody  said  it, 
the  preacher  too. 

So  the  king  went  all  through  the  crowd  with  his  hat, 
swabbing  his  eyes,  and  blessing  the  people  and  praising 
them  and  thanking  them  for  being  so  good  to  the  poor 
pirates  away  off  there ;  and  every  little  while  the 
prettiest  kind  of  girls,  with  the  tears  running  down 
their  cheeks,  would  up  and  ask  him  would  he  let  them 
kiss  him  for  to  remember  him  by ;  and  he  always  done 
it;  and  some  of  them  he  hugged  and  kissed  as  many 
as  five  or  six  times  —  and  he  was  invited  to  stay  a 
week;  and  everybody  wanted  him  to  live  in  their 
houses,  and  said  they'd  think  it  was  an  honor;  but  he 
said  as  this  was  the  last  day  of  the  camp-meeting  he 
couldn't  do  no  good,  and  besides  he  was  in  a  sweat  to 
get  to  the  Indian  Ocean  right  off  and  go  to  work  on 
the  pirates. 

When  we  got  back  to  the  raft  and  he  come  to  count 
up  he  found  he  had  collected  eighty-seven  dollars  and 
seventy-five  cents.  And  then  he  had  fetched  away  a 
three-gallon  jug  of  whisky,  too,  that  he  found  under  a 
wagon  when  he  was  starting  home  through  the  woods. 
The  king  said,  take  it  all  around,  it  laid  over  any  day 
he'd  ever  put  in  in  the  missionarying  line.  He  said  it 
warn't  no  use  talking,  heathens  don't  amount  to  shucks 
alongside  of  pirates  to  work  a  camp- meeting  with. 

The  duke  was  thinking  he'd  been  doing  pretty  well 
till  the  king  come  to  show  up,  but  after  that  he  didn't 
think  so  so  much.  He  had  set  up  and  printed  off  two 
Jittle  jobs  for  farmers  in  that  printing-office  —  horse 


Huckleberry  Finn  181 

bills  —  and  took  the  money,  four  dollars.  And  he 
had  got  in  ten  dollars'  worth  of  advertisements  for  the 
paper,  which  he  said  he  would  put  in  for  four  dollars 
if  they  would  pay  in  advance  —  so  they  done  it.  The 
price  of  the  paper  was  two  dollars  a  year,  but  he  took 
in  three  subscriptions  for  half  a  dollar  apiece  on  con 
dition  of  them  paying  him  in  advance ;  they  were  going 
to  pay  in  cordwood  and  onions  as  usual,  but  he  said 
he  had  just  bought  the  concern  and  knocked  down  the 
price  as  low  as  he  could  afford  it,  and  was  going  to 
run  it  for  cash.  He  set  up  a  little  piece  of  poetry, 
which  he  made,  himself,  out  of  his  own  head  —  three 
verses  —  kind  of  sweet  and  saddish  —  the  name  of  it 
was,  "Yes,  crush,  cold  world,  this  breaking  heart" — 
and  he  left  that  all  set  up  and  ready  to  print  in  the 
paper,  and  didn't  charge  nothing  for  it.  Well,  he 
took  in  nine  dollars  and  a  half,  and  said  he'd  done  a 
pretty  square  day's  work  for  it. 

Then  he  showed  us  another  little  job  he'd  printed 
and  hadn't  charged  for,  because  it  was  for  us.  It  had 
a  picture  of  a  runaway  nigger  with  a  bundle  on  a  stick 
over  his  shoulder,  and  "  $200  reward  "  under  it.  The 
reading  was  all  about  Jim,  and  just  described  him  to  a 
dot.  It  said  he  run  away  from  St.  Jacques'  planta 
tion,  forty  mile  below  New  Orleans,  last  winter,  and 
likely  went  north,  and  whoever  would  catch  him  and 
send  him  back  he  could  have  the  reward  and  expenses, 

**  Now,"  says  the  duke,  "  after  to-night  we  can  run 
in  the  daytime  if  we  want  to.  Whenever  we  see  any 
body  coming  we  can  tie  Jim  hand  and  foot  with  a  rope, 
and  lay  him  in  the  wigwam  and  show  this  handbill  and 
say  we  captured  him  up  the  river,  and  were  too  poor 
to  travel  on  a  steamboat,  so  we  got  this  little  raft  on 
credit  from  our  friends  and  are  going  down  to  get  the 
reward.  Handcuffs  and  chains  would  look  still  better 
on  Jim,  but  it  wouldn't  go  well  with  the  story  of  us 


182  Huckleberry  Finn 

being  so  poor.  Too  much  like  jewelry.  Ropes  are 
the  correct  thing  —  we  must  preserve  the  unities,  as  we 
say  on  the  boards." 

We  all  said  the  duke  was  pretty  smart,  and  there 
couldn't  be  no  trouble  about  running  daytimes.  We 
judged  we  could  make  miles  enough  that  night  to  get 
out  of  the  reach  of  the  powwow  we  reckoned  the  duke's 
work  in  the  printing  office  was  going  to  make  in  that 
little  town;  then  we  could  boom  right  along  if  we 
wanted  to. 

We  laid  low  and  kept  still,  and  never  shoved  out  till 
nearly  ten  o'clock;  then  we  slid  by,  pretty  wide  away 
from  the  town,  and  didn't  hoist  our  lantern  till  we  was 
clear  out  of  sight  of  it. 

When  Jim  called  me  to  take  the  watch  at  four  in  the 
morning,  he  says : 

"  Huck,  does  you  reck'n  we  gwyne  to  run  acrost 
any  mo'  kings  on  dis  trip?" 

"  No,"  I  says,  "  I  reckon  not." 

"Well,"  says  he,  "  dat's  all  right,  den.  I  doan' 
mine  one  er  two  kings,  but  dat's  enough.  Dis  one's 
powerful  drunk,  en  de  duke  ain'  much  better." 

I  found  Jim  had  been  trying  to  get  him  to  talk 
French,  so  he  could  hear  what  it  was  like;  but  he  said 
he  had  been  in  this  country  so  long,  and  had  so  much 
trouble,  he'd  forgot  it. 


CHAPTER   XXI. 

IT  was  after  sun-up  now,  but  we  went  right  on  and 
didn't  tie  up.  The  king  and  the  duke  turned  out 
by  and  by  looking  pretty  rusty;  but  after  they'd 
jumped  overboard  and  took  a  swim  it  chippered  them 
up  a  good  deal.  After  breakfast  the  king  he  took  a 
seat  on  the  corner  of  the  raft,  and  pulled  off  his  boots 
and  rolled  up  his  britches,  and  let  his  legs  dangle  in 
the  water,  so  as  to  be  comfortable,  and  lit  his  pipe,  and 
went  to  getting  his  Romeo  and  Juliet  by  heart.  When 
he  had  got  it  pretty  good  him  and  the  duke  begun  to 
practice  it  together.  The  duke  had  to  learn  him  over 
and  over  again  how  to  say  every  speech ;  and  he  made 
him  sigh,  and  put  his  hand  on  his  heart,  and  after  a 
while  he  said  he  done  it  pretty  well;  "  only,"  he  says, 
"you  mustn't  bellow  out  Romeo!  that  way,  like  a 
bull  —  you  must  say  it  soft  and  sick  and  languishy, 
so  —  R-o-o-meo !  that  is  the  idea;  for  Juliet's  a  dear 
sweet  mere  child  of  a  girl,  you  know,  and  she  doesn't 
bray  like  a  jackass." 

Well,  next  they  got  out  a  couple  of  long  swords  that 
the  duke  made  out  of  oak  laths,  and  begun  to  practice 
the  sword  fight  —  the  duke  called  himself  Richard 
III. ;  and  the  way  they  laid  on  and  pranced  around 
the  raft  was  grand  to  see.  But  by  and  by  the  king 
tripped  and  fell  overboard,  and  after  that  they  took  a 
rest,  and  had  a  talk  about  all  kinds  of  adventures 
they'd  had  in  other  times  along  the  river. 

(183) 


184     .  Huckleberry  Finn 

After  dinner  the  duke  says  • 

"Well,  Capet,  we'll  want  to  make  this  a  first-class 
show,  you  know,  so  I  guess  we'll  add  a  little  more  to 
it.  We  want  a  little  something  to  answer  encores 
with,  anyway." 

"What's  onkores,  Bilgewater?" 

The  duke  told  him,  and  then  says: 

"I'll  answer  by  doing  the  Highland  fling  or  the 
sailor's  hornpipe;  and  you  —  well,  let  me  see  —  oh, 
I've  got  it  —  you  can  do  Hamlet's  soliloquy." 

"Hamlet's  which?" 

"  Hamlet's  soliloquy,  you  know ;  the  most  celebrated 
thing  in  Shakespeare.  Ah,  it's  sublime,  sublime !  Al 
ways  fetches  the  house.  I  haven't  got- it  in  the  book 
—  I've  only  got  one  volume  —  but  I  reckon  I  can 
piece  it  out  from  memory.  I'll  just  walk  up  and  down 
a  minute,  and  see  if  I  can  call  it  back  from  recollec 
tion's  vaults." 

So  he  went  to  marching  up  and  down,  thinking,  and 
frowning  horrible  every  now  and  then ;  then  he  would 
hoist  up  his  eyebrows ;  next  he  would  squeeze  his  hand 
on  his  forehead  and  stagger  back  and  kind  of  moan ; 
next  he  would  sigh,  and  next  he'd  let  on  to  drop  a 
tear.  It  was  beautiful  to  see  him.  By  and  by  he  got 
it.  He  told  us  to  give  attention.  Then  he  strikes  a 
most  noble  attitude,  with  one  leg  shoved  forwards,  and 
his  arms  stretched  away  up,  and  his  head  tilted  back, 
looking  up  at  the  sky ;  and  then  he  begins  to  rip  and 
rave  and  grit  his  teeth ;  and  after  that,  all  through  his 
speech,  he  howled,  and  spread  around,  and  swelled  up 
his  chest,  and  just  knocked  the  spots  out  of  any  acting 
ever /see  before.  This  is  the  speech  —  I  learned  it, 
easy  enough,  while  he  was  learning  it  to  the  king: 

To  be,  or  not  to  be;  that  is  the  bare  bodkin 
That  makes  calamity  of  so  long  life; 


Huckleberry  Finn  185 

For  who  would  fardels  bear,  till  Birnam  Wood  do  come  to  Dunsinane, 

But  that  the  fear  of  something  after  death 

Murders  the  innocent  sleep, 

Great  nature's  second  course, 

And  makes  us  rather  sling  the  arrows  of  outrageous  fortune 

Than  fly  to  others  that  we  know  not  of. 

There's  the  respect  must  give  us  pause: 

Wake  Duncan  with  thy  knocking!     1  would  thou  couldst; 

For  who  would  bear  the  whips  and  scorns  of  time, 

The  oppressor's  wrong,  the  proud  man's  contumely, 

The  law's  delay,  and  the  quietus  which  his  pangs  might  take, 

In  the  dead  waste  and  middle  of  the  night,  when  churchyards  yawn 

In  customary  suits  of  solemn  black, 

But    that    the    undiscovered    country    from    whose    bourne    no   traveler 

returns, 

Breathes  forth  contagion  on  the  world, 

And  thus  the  native  hue  of  resolution,  like  the  poor  cat  i*  the  adage, 
Is  sicklied  o'er  with  care, 

And  all  the  clouds  that  lowered  o'er  our  housetops, 
With  this  regard  their  currents  turn  awry, 
And  lose  the  name  of  action. 
'Tis   a  consummation   devoutly    to   be   wished.     But   soft  you,  the    fair 

Ophelia : 

Ope  not  thy  ponderous  and  marble  jaws, 
But  get  thee  to  a  nunnery  —  go  ! 

Well,  the  old  man  he  liked  that  speech,  and  he 
mighty  soon  got  it  so  he  could  do  it  first-rate.  It 
seemed  like  he  was  just  born  for  it;  and  when  he  had 
his  hand  in  and  was  excited,  it  was  perfectly  lovely 
the  way  he  would  rip  and  tear  and  rair  up  behind 
when  he  was  getting  it  off. 

The  first  chance  we  got  the  duke  he  had  some  show 
bills  printed ;  and  after  that,  for  two  or  three  days  as 
we  floated  along,  the  raft  was  a  most  uncommon  lively 
place,  for  there  warn't  nothing  but  sword  fighting  and 
rehearsing — as  the  duke  called  it — going  on  all  the 
time.  One  morning,  when  we  was  pretty  well  down 


186  Huckleberry  Finn 

the  State  of  Arkansaw,  we  come  in  sight  of  a  little 
one-horse  town  in  a  big  bend;  so  we  tied  up  about 
three-quarters  of  a  mile  above  it,  in  the  mouth  of  a 
crick  which  was  shut  in  like  a  tunnel  by  the  cypress 
trees,  and  all  of  us  but  Jim  took  the  canoe  and  went 
down  there  to  see  if  there  was  any  chance  in  that  place 
for  our  show. 

We  struck  it  mighty  lucky ;  there  was  going  to  be  a 
circus  there  that  afternoon,  and  the  country  people  was 
already  beginning  to  come  in,  in  all  kinds  of  old 
shackly  wagons,  and  on  horses.  The  circus  would 
leave  before  night,  so  our  show  would  have  a  pretty 
good  chance.  The  duke  he  hired  the  courthouse,  and 
we  went  around  and  stuck  up  our  bills.  They  read 
like  this: 

Shaksperean   Revival     !     I     ! 

Wonderful  Attraction! 

For  One  Night  Only! 

The  world  renowned  tragedians, 

David  Garrick  the  younger,  of  Drury  Lane  Theatre,  London, 

and 

Edmund  Kean    the  elder,  of   the  Royal   Haymarket  Theatre, 

Whitechapel,  Pudding  Lane,  Piccadilly,  London,  and  the 

Royal  Continental  Theatres,  in  their  sublime 

Shaksperean  Spectacle  entitled 

The  Balcony  Scene 

in 
Romeo  and  Juliet     !     !     ! 

Romeo ,  .Mr.  Garrick 

Juliet Mr.  Kean 

Assisted  by  the  whole  strength  of  the  company! 
New  costumes,  new  scenery,  new  appointments! 

Also: 
The  thrilling,  masterly,  and  blood-curdling 

Broad-sword  conflict 
In  Richard  III.      !      !      ! 

Richard  III Mr.  Garrick 

Richmond Mr.  Kean 


Huckleberry  Finn  187 

Also: 

(by  special  request) 
Hamlet's  Immortal  Soliloquy      !      ! 

By  the  Illustrious  Kean ! 
Done  by  him  300  consecutive  nights  in  Paris! 

For  One  Night  Only, 

On  account  of  imperative  European  engagements! 
Admission  25  cents;  children  and  servants,  10  cents. 

Then  we  went  loafing  around  town.  The  stores  and 
houses  was  most  all  old,  shackly,  dried -up  frame  con 
cerns  that  hadn't  ever  been  painted ;  they  was  set  up 
three  or  four  foot  above  ground  on  stilts,  so  as  to  be 
out  of  reach  of  the  water  when  the  river  was  over 
flowed.  The  houses  had  little  gardens  around  them, 
but  they  didn't  seem  to  raise  hardly  anything  in  them 
but  jimpson-weeds,  and  sunflowers,  and  ash  piles,  and 
old  curled-up  boots  and  shoes,  and  pieces  of  bottles, 
and  rags,  and  played-out  tinware.  The  fences  was 
made  of  different  kinds  of  boards,  nailed  on  at  dif 
ferent  times ;  and  they  leaned  every  which  way,  and 
had  gates  that  didn't  generly  have  but  one  hinge  —  a 
leather  one.  Some  of  the  fences  had  been  white 
washed  some  time  or  another,  but  the  duke  said  it  was 
in  Clumbus'  time,  like  enough.  There  was  generly 
hogs  in  the  garden,  and  people  driving  them  out. 

All  the  stores  was  along  one  street.  They  had 
white  domestic  awnings  in  front,  and  the  country  peo 
ple  hitched  their  horses  to  the  awning-posts.  There 
was  empty  drygoods  boxes  under  the  awnings,  and 
loafers  roosting  on  them  all  day  long,  whittling  them 
with  their  Barlow  knives;  and  chawing  tobacco,  and 
gaping  and  yawning  and  stretching  —  a  mighty  ornery 
lot.  They  generly  had  on  yellow  straw  hats  most  as 
wide  as  an  umbrella,  but  didn't  wear  no  coats  nor 
waistcoats;  they  called  one  another  Bill,  and  Buck, 
and  Hank,  and  Joe,  and  Andy,  and  talked  lazy  and 


188  Huckleberry  Finn 

drawly,  and  used  considerable  many  cuss  words. 
There  was  as  many  as  one  loafer  leaning  up  against 
every  awning-post,  and  he  most  always  had  his  hands 
in  his  britches-pockets,  except  when  he  fetched  them 
out  to  lend  a  chaw  of  tobacco  or  scratch.  What  a 
body  was  hearing  amongst  them  all  the  time  was : 
"  Gimme  a  chaw  'v  tobacker,  Hank." 
'*  Cain't;  I  hain't  got  but  one  chaw  left.  Ask  Bill." 
Maybe  Bill  he  gives  him  a  chaw;  maybe  he  lies  and 
says  he  ain't  got  none.  Some  of  them  kinds  of 
loafers  never  has  a  cent  in  the  world,  nor  a  chaw  of 
tobacco  of  their  own.  They  get  all  their  chawing  by 
borrowing;  they  say  to  a  fellow,  "I  wisht  you'd  len' 
me  a  chaw,  Jack,  I  jist  this  minute  give  Ben  Thompson 
the  last  chaw  I  had  ?> — which  is  a  lie  pretty  much 
every  time;  it  don't  fool  nobody  but  a  stranger;  but 
Jack  ain't  no  stranger,  so  he  says: 

"  You  give  him  a  chaw,  did  you?  So  did  your 
sister's  cat's  grandmother.  You  pay  me  back  the 
chaws  you've  awready  borry'd  oft'n  me.  Lafe  Buckner, 
then  I'll  loan  you  one  or  two  ton  of  it,  and  won't 
charge  you  no  back  intrust,  nuther." 

"  Well,  I  did  pay  you  back  some  of  it  wunst." 
"Yes,   you    did — 'bout  six  chaws.     You   borry'd 
store  tobacker  and  paid  back  nigger-head." 

Store  tobacco  is  flat  black  plug,  but  these  fellows 
mostly  chaws  the  natural  leaf  twisted.  When  they 
borrow  a  chaw  they  don't  generly  cut  it  off  with  a 
knife,  but  set  the  plug  in  between  their  teeth,  and  gnaw 
with  their  teeth  and  tug  at  the  plug  with  their  hands 
till  they  get  it  in  two ;  then  sometimes  the  one  that 
owns  the  tobacco  looks  mournful  at  it  when  it's 
handed  back,  and  says,  sarcastic : 

"  Here,  gimme  the  chaw,  and  you  take  \he  plug." 
All  the  streets  and  lanes  was  just  mud ;   they  warn't 
nothing  else  but  mud  —  mud  as  black  as  tar  and  nigh 


Huckleberry  Finn  189 

about  a  foot  deep  in  some  places,  and  two  or  three 
inches  deep  in  all  the  places.  The  hogs  loafed  and 
grunted  around  every  wheres.  You'd  see  a  muddy 
sow  and  a  litter  of  pigs  come  lazying  along  the  street 
and  whollop  herself  right  down  in  the  way,  where  folks 
had  to  walk  around  her,  and  she'd  stretch  out  and  shut 
her  eyes  and  wave  her  ears  whilst  the  pigs  was  milking 
her,  and  look  as  happy  as  if  she  was  on  salary.  And 
pretty  soon  you'd  hear  a  loafer  sing  out,  "Hi!  so 
boy!  sick  him,  Tige!"  and  away  the  sow  would  go, 
squealing  most  horrible,  with  a  dog  or  two  swinging  to 
each  ear,  and  three  or  four  dozen  more  a-coming;  and 
then  you  would  see  all  the  loafers  get  up  and  watch 
the  thing  out  of  sight,  and  laugh  at  the  fun  and  look 
grateful  for  the  noise.  Then  they'd  settle  back  again 
till  there  was  a  dog  fight.  There  couldn't  anything 
wake  them  up  all  over,  and  make  them  happy  all  over, 
like  a  dog  fight — unless  it  might  be  putting  turpentine 
on  a  stray  dog  and  setting  fire  to  him,  or  tying  a  tin 
pan  to  his  tail  and  see  him  run  himself  to  death. 

On  the  river  front  some  of  the  houses  was  sticking 
out  over  the  bank,  and  they  was  bowed  and  bent,  and 
about  ready  to  tumble  in.  The  people  had  moved  out 
of  them.  The  bank  was  caved  away  under  one  corner 
of  some  others,  and  that  corner  was  hanging  over. 
People  lived  in  them  yet,  but  it  was  dangersome,  be 
cause  sometimes  a  strip  of  land  as  wide  as  a  house 
caves  in  at  a  time.  Sometimes  a  belt  of  land  a  quarter 
of  a  mile  deep  will  start  in  and  cave  along  and  cave 
along  till  it  all  caves  into  the  river  in  one  summer. 
Such  a  town  as  that  has  to  be  always  moving  back, 
and  back,  and  back,  because  the  river's  always  gnawing 
at  it. 

The  nearer  it  got  to  noon  that  day  the  thicker  and 
thicker  was  the  wagons  and  horses  in  the  streets,  and 
more  coining  all  the  time.  Families  fetched  their 


190  Huckleberry  Finn 

dinners  with  them  from  the  country,  and  eat  them  in 
the  wagons.  There  was  considerable  whisky  drinking 
going  on,  and  I  seen  three  fights.  By  and  by  some- 
j—  body  sings  out : 

"  Here  comes  old  Boggs  ! — in  from  the  country  for 
'""liis  little  old  monthly  drunk ;  here  he  comes,  boys!" 

All  the  loafers  looked  glad ;  I  reckoned  they  was 
used  to  having  fun  out  of  Boggs.  One  of  them  says: 

"Wonder  who  he's  a-gwyne  to  chaw  up  this  time. 
If  he'd  a-chawed  up  all  the  men  he's  ben  a-gwyne  to 
chaw  up  in  the  last  twenty  year  he'd  have  considerable 
ruputation  now." 

Another  one  says,  "I  wisht  old  Boggs  'd  threaten 
me,  'cuz  then  I'd  know  I  warn't  gwyne  to  die  for  a 
thousan'  year." 

Boggs  comes  a-tearing  along  on  his  horse,  whooping 
and  yelling  like  an  Injun,  and  singing  out: 

"  Cler  the  track,  thar.  I'm  on  the  waw-path,  and 
the  price  uv  coffins  is  a-gwyne  to  raise." 

He  was  drunk,  and  weaving  about  in  his  saddle ;  he 
was  over  fifty  year  old,  and  had  a  very  red  face. 
Everybody  yelled  at  him  and  laughed  at  him  and  sassed 
him,  and  he  sassed  back,  and  said  he'd  attend  to  them 
and  lay  them  out  in  their  regular  turns,  but  he  couldn't 
wait  now  because  he'd  come  to  town  to  kill  old 
Colonel  Sherburn,  and  his  motto  was,  "  Meat  first, 
and  spoon  vittles  to  top  off  on." 

He  see  me,  and  rode  up  and  says : 

"  Whar'd  you  come  f'm,  boy?  You  prepared  to 
die?" 

Then  he  rode  on.     I  was  scared,  but  a  man  says: 

"He  don't  mean  nothing;  he's  always  a-carryin' 
on  like  that  when  he's  drunk.  He's  the  best  natured- 
est  old  fool  in  Arkansaw  —  never  hurt  nobody,  drunk 
nor  sober." 

Boggs  rocTe  up  before  the  biggest  store  in  town,  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  191 

bent  his  head  down  so  he  could  see  under  the  curtain 
of  the  awning  and  yells : 

"Come  out  here,  Sherburn !  Come  out  and  meet 
the  man  you've  swindled.  You're  the  houn'  I'm  after, 
and  I'm  a-gwyne  to  have  you,  too !" 

And  so  he  went  on,  calling  Sherburn  everything  he 
could  lay  his  tongue  to,  and  the  whole  street  packed 
with  people  listening  and  laughing  and  going  on.  By 
and  by  a  proud-looking  man  about  fifty-five  —  and  he 
was  a  heap  the  best  dressed  man  in  that  town,  too  — 
steps  out  of  the  store,  and  the  crowd  drops  back  on 
each  side  to  let  him  come.  He  says  to  Boggs,  mighty 
ca'm  and  slow  —  he  says: 

"  I'm  tired  of  this,  but  I'll  endure  it  till  one  o'clock. 
Till  one  o'clock,  mind  —  no  longer.  If  you  open  your 
mouth  against  me  only  once  after  that  time  you  can't 
travel  so  far  but  I  will  find  you." 

Then  he  turns  and  goes  in.  The  crowd  looked 
mighty  sober;  nobody  stirred,  and  there  warn't  no 
more  laughing.  Boggs  rode  off  blackguarding  Sher 
burn  as  loud  as  he  could  yell,  all  down  the  street;  and 
pretty  soon  back  he  comes  and  stops  before  the  store, 
still  keeping  it  up.  Some  men  crowded  around  him 
and  tried  to  get  him  to  shut  up,  but  he  wouldn't;  they 
told  him  it  would  be  one  o'clock  in  about  fifteen  min 
utes,  and  so  he  must  go  home  —  he  must  go  right 
away.  But  it  didn't  do  no  good.  He  cussed  away 
with  all  his  might,  and  throwed  his  hat  down  in  the 
mud  and  rode  over  it,  and  pretty  soon  away  he  went 
a-raging  down  the  street  again,  with  his  gray  hair  a- 
flying.  Everybody  that  could  get  a  chance  at  him 
tried  their  best  to  coax  him  off  of  his  horse  so  they 
could  lock  him  up  and  get  him  sober;  but  it  warn't  no 
use  —  up  the  street  he  would  tear  again,  and  give 
Sherburn  another  cussing.  By  and  by  somebody  says : 

"  Go  for  his  daughter  ! —  quick,  go  for  his  daughter; 


192  Huckleberry  Finn 

sometimes  he'll  listen  to  her.  If  anybody  can  persuade 
him,  she  can." 

So  somebody  started  on  a  run.  I  walked  down 
street  a  ways  and  stopped.  In  about  five  or  ten  min 
utes  here  comes  Boggs  again,  but  not  on  his  horse. 
He  was  a-reeling  across  the  street  towards  me,  bare 
headed,  with  a  friend  on  both  sides  of  him  a-holt  of 
his  arms  and  hurrying  him  along.  He  was  quiet,  and 
looked  uneasy;  and  he  warn' t  hanging  back  any,  but 
was  doing  some  of  the  hurrying  himself.  Somebody 
sings  out: 

"Boggs!" 

I  looked  over  there  to  see  who  said  it,  and  it  was 
that  Colonel  Sherburn.  He  was  standing  perfectly 
still  in  the  street,  and  had  a  pistol  raised  in  his  right 
hand  —  not  aiming  it,  but  holding  it  out  with  the  barrel 
tilted  up  towards  the  sky.  The  same  second  I  see  a 
young  girl  coming  on  the  run,  and  two  men  with  her. 
Boggs  and  the'  men  turned  round  to  see  who  called 
him,  and  when  they  see  the  pistol  the  men  jumped 
to  one  side,  and  the  pistol-barrel  come  down  slow 
and  steady  to  a  level  —  both  barrels  cocked.  Boggs 
throws  up  both  of  his  hands  and  says,  "  O  Lord,  don't 
shoot!"  Bang!  goes  the  first  shot,  and  he  staggers 
back,  clawing  at  the  air  —  bang!  goes  the  second  one, 
and  he  tumbles  backwards  on  to  the  ground,  heavy 
and  solid,  with  his  arms  spread  out.  That  young  girl 
screamed  out  and  comes  rushing,  and  down  she  throws 
herself  on  her  father,  crying,  and  saying,  "  Oh,  he's 
killed  him,  he's  killed  him!"  The  crowd  closed  up 
around  them,  and  shouldered  and  jammed  one  another, 
with  their  necks  stretched,  trying  to  see,  and  people 
on  the  inside  trying  to  shove  them  back  and  shouting, 
"  Back,  back!  give  him  air,  give  him  air!" 

Colonel  Sherburn  he  tossed  his  pistol  on  to  the 
ground,  and  turned  around  on  his  heels  and  walked  off.""'] 


Huckleberry  Finn  193 

They  took  Boggs  to  a  little  drug  store,  the  crowd 
pressing  around  just  the  same,  and  the  whole  town 
following,  and  I  rushed  and  got  a  good  place  at  the 
window,  where  I  was  close  to  him  and  could  see  in. 
They  laid  him  on  the  floor  and  put  one  large  Bible 
under  his  head,  and  opened  another  one  and  spread  it 
on  his  breast;  but  they  tore  open  his  shirt  first,  and  I 
seen  where  one  of  the  bullets  went  in.  He  made 
about  a  dozen  long  gasps,  his  breast  lifting  the  Bible 
up  when  he  drawed  in  his  breath,  and  letting  it  down 
again  when  he  breathed  it  out  —  and  after  that  he  laid 
still;  he  was  dead.  Then  they  pulled  his  daughter 
away  from  him,  screaming  and  crying,  and  took  her 
off.  She  was  about  sixteen,  and  very  sweet  and  gentle 
looking,  but  awful  pale  and  scared. 

Well,  pretty  soon  the  whole  town  was  there,  squirm 
ing  and  scrouging  and  pushing  and  shoving  to  get  at 
the  window  and  have  a  look,  but  people  that  had  the 
places  wouldn't  give  them  up,  and  folks  behind  them 
was  saying  all  the  time,  "Say,  now,  you've  looked 
enough,  you  fellows;  'tain't  right  and  'tain't  fair  for 
you  to  stay  thar  all  the  time,  and  never  give  nobody  a 
chance;  other  folks  has  their  rights  as  well  as  you." 

There  was  considerable  jawing  back,  so  I  slid  out, 
thinking  maybe  there  was  going  to  be  trouble.  The 
streets  was  full,  and  everybody  was  excited.  Every 
body  that  seen  the  shooting  was  telling  how  it  hap 
pened,  and  there  was  a  big  crowd  packed  around  each 
one  of  these  fellows,  stretching  their  necks  and  listen 
ing.  One  long,  lanky  man,  with  long  hair  and  a  big 
white  fur  stovepipe  hat  on  the  back  of  his  head,  and  a 
crooked-handled  cane,  marked  out  the  places  on  the 
ground  where  Boggs  stood  and  where  Sherburn  stood, 
and  the  people  following  him  around  from  one  place 
to  t'other  and  watching  everything  he  done,  and  bob 
bing  their  heads  to  show  they  understood,  and  stoop- 
13 


194  Huckleberry  Finn 

ing  a  little  and  resting  their  hands  on  their  thighs  to 
watch  him  mark  the  places  on  the  ground  with  his 
cane ;  and  then  he  stood  up  straight  and  stiff  where 
Sherburn  had  stood,  frowning  and  having  his  hat-brim 
down  over  his  eyes,  and  sung  out,  **  Boggs  !"  and  then 
fetched  his  cane  down  slow  to  a  level,  and  says 
"Bang!"  staggered  backwards,  says  "  Bang !"  again, 
and  fell  down  flat  on  his  back.  The  people  that  had 
seen  the  thing  said  he  done  it  perfect ;  said  it  was  just 
exactly  the  way  it  all  happened.  Then  as  much  as  a 
dozen  people  got  out  their  bottles  and  treated  him. 

Well,  by  and  by  somebody  said  Sherburn  ought  to 
"be  lynched.      In  about  a  minute  everybody  was  saying 
it ;   so  away  they  went,  mad  and  yelling,  and  snatching 
down  every  clothes-line    they  come  to  to  do  the  hang 
ing  with. 


CHAPTER   XXII. 

'"THEY  swarmed  up  towards  Sherburn's  house,  a- 
I  whooping  and  raging  like  Injuns,  and  everything 
had  to  clear  the  way  or  get  run  over  and  tromped  to 
mush,  and  it  was  awful  to  see.  Children  was  heeling 
it  ahead  of  the  mob,  screaming  and  trying  to  get  out 
of  the  way ;  and  every  window  along  the  road  was  full 
of  women's  heads,  and  there  was  nigger  boys  in  every 
tree,  and  bucks  and  wenches  looking  over  every  fence ; 
and  as  soon  as  the  mob  would  get  nearly  to  them  they 
would  break  and  skaddle  back  out  of  reach.  Lots  of 
the  women  and  girls  was  crying  and  taking  on,  scared 
most  to  death. 

They  swarmed  up  in  front  of  Sherburn's  palings  as 
thick  as  they  could  jam  together,  and  you  couldn't 
hear  yourself  think  for  the  noise.  It  was  a  little 
twenty-foot  yard.  Some  sung  out* 'Tear  down  the 
fence !  tear  down  the  fence ! ' '  Then  there  was  a 
racket  of  ripping  and  tearing  and  smashing,  and  down 
she  goes,  and  the  front  wall  of  the  crowd  begins  to 
roll  in  like  a  wave. 

Just  then  Sherburn  steps  out  on  to  the  roof  of  his 
little  front  porch,  with  a  double-barrel  gun  in  his  hand, 
and  takes  his  stand,  perfectly  ca'm  and  deliberate,  not 
saying  a  word.  The  racket  stopped,  and  the  wave 
sucked  back. 

Sherburn  never  said  a  word  —  just  stood  there,  look 
ing  down.  The  stillness  was  awful  creepy  and  uncom- 
*  (195) 


196  Huckleberry  Finn 

fortable.  Sherburn  run  his  eye  slow  along  the  crowd ; 
and  wherever  it  struck  the  people  tried  a  little  to  out- 
gaze  him,  but  they  couldn't ;  they  dropped  their  eyes 
and  looked  sneaky.  Then  pretty  soon  Sherburn  sort 
of  laughed;  not  the  pleasant  kind,  but  the  kind  that 
makes  you  feel  like  when  you  are  eating  bread  that's 
got  sand  in  it. 

Then  he  says,  slow  and  scornful: 

'  The  idea  of  you  lynching  anybody!  It's  amusing. 
The  idea  of  you  thinking  you  had  pluck  enough  to 
lynch  a  man  !  Because  you're  brave  enough  to  tar  and 
feather  poor  friendless  cast-out  women  that  come  along 
here,  did  that  make  you  think  you  had  grit  enough  to 
lay  your  hands  on  a  man  ?  Why,  a  man' s  safe  in  the 
hands  of  ten  thousand  of  your  kind  —  as  long  as  it's 
daytime  and  you're  not  behind  him. 

"Do  I  know  you?  I  know  you  clear  through.  I 
was  born  and  raised  in  the  South,  and  I've  lived  in  the 
North;  so  I  know  the  average  all  around.  The 
average  man's  a  coward.  In  the  North  he  lets  anybody 
walk  over  him  that  wants  to,  and  goes  home  and  prays 
for  a  humble  spirit  to  bear  it.  In  the  South  one  man, 
all  by  himself,  has  stopped  a  stage  full  of  men  in  the 
daytime,  and  robbed  the  lot.  Your  newspapers  call 
you  a  brave  people  so  much  that  you  think  you  are 
braver  than  any  other  people  —  whereas  you're  just  as 
brave,  and  no  braver.  Why  don't  your  juries  hang 
murderers?  Because  they're  afraid  the  man's  friends 
will  shoot  them  in  the  back,  in  the  dark  —  and  it's  just 
what  they  would  do. 

"So  they  always  acquit;  and  then  a  man  goes  in 
the  night,  with  a  hundred  masked  cowards  at  his  back, 
and  lynches  the  rascal.  Your  mistake  is,  that  you 
didn't  bring  a  man  with  you;  that's  one  mistake,  and 
the  other  is  that  you  didn't  come  in  the  dark  and  fetch 
your  masks.  You  brought  part  of  a  man,  — ^  Buck 


Huckleberry  Finn  197 

Harkness,  there  —  and  if  you  hadn't  had  him  to  start 
you,  you'd  a  taken  it  out  in  blowing. 

"You  didn't  want  to  come.  The  average  man 
don't  like  trouble  and  danger.  You  don't  like  trouble 
and  danger.  But  if  only  half  a  man  —  like  Buck 
Harkness,  there  —  shouts  'Lynch  him!  lynch  him!' 
you're  afraid  to  back  down  —  afraid  you'll  be  found 
out  to  be  what  you  are  —  cowards  —  and  so  you  raise 
a  yell,  and  hang  yourselves  on  to  that  half-a-man's 
coat-tail,  and  come  raging  up  here,  swearing  what  big 
things  you're  going  to  do.  The  pitifulest  thing  out  is 
a  mob ;  that's  what  an  army  is  —  a  mob;  they  don't 
fight  with  courage  that's  born  in  them,  but  with  cour 
age  that's  borrowed  from  their  mass,  and  from  their 
officers.  But  a  mob  without  any  man  at  the  head  of 
it  is  beneath  pitifulness.  Now  the  thing  for  you  to  do 
is  to  droop  your  tails  and  go  home  and  crawl  in  a 
hole.  If  any  real  lynching' s  going  to  be  done  it  will 
be  done  in  the  dark,  Southern  fashion ;  and  when  they 
come  they'll  bring  their  masks,  and  fetch  a  man  along. 
Now  leave  —  and  take  your  half-a-man  with  you" — 
tossing  his  gun  up  across  his  left  arm  and  cocking  it 
when  he  says  this. 

The  crowd  washed  back  sudden,  and  then  broke  all 
apart,  and  went  tearing  off  every  which  way,  and  Buck 
Harkness  he  heeled  it  after  them,  looking  tolerable  cheap. 
I  could  a  stayed  if  I  wanted  to,  but  I  didn't  want  to. 

I  went  to  the  circus  and  loafed  around  the  back  side 
till  the  watchman  went  by,  and  then  dived  in  under  the 
tent.  I  had  my  twenty-dollar  gold  piece  and  some 
other  money,  but  I  reckoned  I  better  save  it,  because 
there  ain't  no  telling  how  soon  you  are  going  to  need 
it,  away  from  home  and  amongst  strangers  that  way. 
You  can't  be  too  careful.  I  ain't  opposed  to  spending 
money  on  circuses  when  there  ain't  no  other  way,  but 
there  ain't  no  use  in  wasting  it  on  them. 


198  Huckleberry  Finn 

It  was  a  real  bully  circus.  It  was  the  splendidest 
sight  that  ever  was  when  they  all  come  riding  in,  two 
and  two,  a  gentleman  and  lady,  side  by  side,  the  men 
just  in  their  drawers  and  undershirts,  and  no  shoes  nor 
stirrups,  and  resting  their  hands  on  their  thighs  easy 
and  comfortable  —  there  must  a  been  twenty  of  them 
—  and  every  lady  with  a  lovely  complexion,  and  per 
fectly  beautiful,  and  looking  just  like  a  gang  of  real 
sure-enough  queens,  and  dressed  in  clothes  that  cost 
millions  of  dollars,  and  just  littered  with  diamonds.  It 
was  a  powerful  fine  sight;  I  never  see  anything  so 
lovely.  And  then  one  by  one  they  got  up  and  stood, 
and  went  a-weaving  around  the  ring  so  gentle  and 
wavy  and  graceful,  the  men  looking  ever  so  tall  and  airy 
and  straight,  with  their  heads  bobbing  and  skimming 
along,  away  up  there  under  the  tent-roof,  and  every 
lady's  rose-leafy  dress  flapping  soft  and  silky  around 
her  hips,  and  she  looking  like  the  most  loveliest  parasol. 

And  then  faster  and  faster  they  went,  all  of  them 
dancing,  first  one  foot  out  in  the  air  and  then  the  other, 
the  horses  leaning  more  and  more,  and  the  ringmaster 
going  round  and  round  the  center-pole,  cracking  his 
whip  and  shouting  '*  Hi! — hi!"  and  the  clown  crack 
ing  jokes  behind  him ;  and  by  and  by  all  hands  dropped 
the  reins,  and  every  lady  put  her  knuckles  on  her  hips 
and  every  gentleman  folded  his  arms,  and  then  how 
the  horses  did  lean  over  and  hump  themselves !  And 
so  one  after  the  other  they  all  skipped  off  into  the 
ring,  and  made  the  sweetest  bow  I  ever  see,  and  then 
scampered  out,  and  everybody  clapped  their  hands  and 
went  just  about  wild. 

Well,  all  through  the  circus  they  done  the  most 
astonishing  things ;  and  all  the  time  that  clown  carried 
on  so  it  most  killed  the  people.  The  ringmaster 
couldn't  ever  say  a  word  to  him  but  he  was  back  at 
him  quick  as  a  wink  with  the  funniest  things  a  body 


Huckleberry  Finn  199 

ever  said ;  and  how  he  ever  could  think  of  so  many  of 
them,  and  so  sudden  and  so  pat,  was  what  I  couldn't 
noway  understand.  Why,  I  couldn't  a  thought  of 
them  in  a  year.  And  by  and  by  a  drunk  man  tried  to 
get  into  the  ring — said  he  wanted  to  ride;  said  he 
could  ride  as  well  as  anybody  that  ever  was.  They 
argued  and  tried  to  keep  him  out,  but  he  wouldn't 
listen,  and  the  whole  show  come  to  a  standstill.  Then 
the  people  begun  to  holler  at  him  and  make  fun  of 
him,  and  that  made  him  mad,  and  he  begun  to  rip 
and  tear;  so  that  stirred  up  the  people,  and  a  lot  of 
men  begun  to  pile  down  off  of  the  benches  and  swarm 
towards  the  ring,  saying,  "Knock  him  down!  throw 
him  out!"  and  one  or  two  women  begun  to  scream. 
So,  then,  the  ringmaster  he  made  a  little  speech,  and 
said  he  hoped  there  wouldn't  be  no  disturbance,  and  if 
the  man  would  promise  he  wouldn't  make  no  more 
trouble  he  would  let  him  ride  if  he  thought  he  could 
stay  on  the  horse.  So  everybody  laughed  and  said  all 
right,  and  the  man  got  on.  The  minute  he  was  on, 
the  horse  begun  to  rip  and  tear  and  jump  and  cavort 
around,  with  two  circus  men  hanging  on  to  his  bridle 
trying  to  hold  him,  and  the  drunk  man  hanging  on  to 
his  neck,  and  his  heels  flying  in  the  air  every  jump, 
and  the  whole  crowd  of  people  standing  up  shouting 
and  laughing  till  tears  rolled  down.  And  at  last,  sure 
enough,  all  the  circus  men  could  do,  the  horse  broke 
loose,  and  away  he  went  like  the  very  nation,  round 
and  round  the  ring,  with  that  sot  laying  down  on  him 
and  hanging  to  his  neck,  with  first  one  leg  hanging 
most  to  the  ground  on  one  side,  and  then  t'other  one 
on  t'other  side,  and  the  people  just  crazy.  It  warn't 
funny  to  me,  though;  I  was  all  of  a  tremble  to  see  his 
danger.  But  pretty  soon  he  struggled  up  astraddle 
and  grabbed  the  bridle,  a-reeling  this  way  and  that;  and 
the  next  minute  he  sprung  up  and  dropped  the  bridle 


200  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  stood !  and  the  horse  a-going  like  a  house  afire 
too.  He  just  stood  up  there,  a-sailing  around  as  easy 
and  comfortable  as  if  he  warn't  ever  drunk  in  his  life 
— and  then  he  begun  to  pull  off  his  clothes  and  sling 
them.  He  shed  them  so  thick  they  kind  of  clogged 
up  the  air,  and  altogether  he  shed  seventeen  suits. 
And,  then,  there  he  was,  slim  and  handsome,  and 
dressed  the  gaudiest  and  prettiest  you  ever  saw,  and 
he  lit  into  that  horse  with  his  whip  and  made  him  fairly 
hum  —  and  finally  skipped  off,  and  made  his  bow  and 
danced  off  to  the  dressing-room,  and  everybody  just 
a-howling  with  pleasure  and  astonishment. 

Then  the  ringmaster  he  see  how  he  had  been  fooled, 
and  he  was  the  sickest  ringmaster  you  ever  see,  I 
reckon.  Why,  it  was  one  of  his  own  men!  He  had 
got  up  that  joke  all  out  of  his  own  head,  and  never  let 
on  to  nobody.  Well,  I  felt  sheepish  enough  to  be 
took  in  so,  but  I  wouldn't  a  been  in  that  ringmaster's 
place,  not  for  a  thousand  dollars.  I  don't  know; 
there  may  be  bullier  circuses  than  what  that  one  was, 
but  I  never  struck  them  yet.  Anyways,  it  was  plenty 
good  enough  for  me ;  and  wherever  I  run  across  it,  it 
can  have  all  of  my  custom  every  time. 

Well,  that  night  we  had  our  show;  but  there  warn't 
only  about  twelve  people  there  —  just  enough  to  pay 
expenses.  And  they  laughed  all  the  time,  and  that 
made  the  duke  mad;  and  everybody  left,  anyway, 
before  the  show  was  over,  but  one  boy  which  was 
asleep.  So  the  duke  said  these  Arkansaw  lunkheads 
couldn't  come  up  to  Shakespeare;  what  they  wanted 
was  low  comedy  —  and  maybe  something  ruther  worse 
than  low  comedy,  he  reckoned.  He  said  he  could 
size  their  style.  So  next  morning  he  got  some  big 
sheets  of  wrapping  paper  and  some  black  paint,  and 
drawed  off  some  handbills,  and  stuck  them  up  all  over 
the  village.  The  bills  said  : 


Huckleberry  Finn  201 

AT  THE  COURT  HOUSE! 

FOR   3   NIGHTS  ONLY! 

7 he   World- Renowned  Tragedians 

DAVID  GARRICK  THE  YOUNGER! 

AND 

EDMUND  KEAN  THE  ELDER! 
Of  the  London  and  Continental 

Theatres, 

In  their  Thrilling  Tragedy  of 
THE   KING'S  CAMELEOPARD, 

OR 

THE  ROYAL  NONESUCH   !    !    ! 

Admission  50  cents. 

Then  at  the  bottom  was  the  biggest  line  of  all,  which 
said: 

LADIES  AND  CHILDREN  NOT  ADMITTED. 

"  There,"  says  he,  "  if  that  line  don't  fetch  them,  I 
don't  know  Arkansaw!" 


CHAPTER   XXIII. 

W/ELL,  all  day  him  and  the  king  was  hard  at  it, 
\\f  rigging  up  a  stage  and  a  curtain  and  a  row  of 
candles  for  footlights;  and  that  night  the  house  was 
jam  full  of  men  in  no  time.  When  the  place  couldn't 
hold  no  more,  the  duke  he  quit  tending  door  and  went 
around  the  back  way  and  come  on  to  the  stage  and 
stood  up  before  the  curtain  and  made  a  little  speech, 
and  praised  up  this  tragedy,  and  said  it  was  the  most 
thrillingest  one  that  ever  was ;  and  so  he  went  on  a- 
bragging  about  the  tragedy,  and  about  Edmund  Kean 
the  Elder,  which  was  to  play  the  main  principal  part 
in  it;  and  at  last  when  he'd  got  everybody's  expecta 
tions  up  high  enough,  he  rolled  up  the  curtain,  and 
the  next  minute  the  king  come  a-prancing  out  on  all 
fours,  naked ;  and  he  was  painted  all  over,  ring- 
streaked-and-striped,  all  sorts  of  colors,  as  splendid 
as  a  rainbow.  And  —  but  never  mind  the  rest  of  his 
outfit;  it  was  just  wild,  but  it  was  awful  funny.  The 
people  most  killed  themselves  laughing;  and  when  the 
king  got  done  capering  and  capered  off  behind  the 
scenes,  they  roared  and  clapped  and  stormed  and  haw- 
hawed  till  he  come  back  and  done  it  over  again,  and 
after  that  they  made  him  do  it  another  time.  Well,  it 
would  make  a  cow  laugh  to  see  the  shines  that  old 
idiot  cut. 

Then  the  duke  he  lets  the  curtain  down,  and  bows  to 
the  people,  and   says  the   great  tragedy  will   be   per- 

(202) 


Huckleberry  Finn  203 

formed  only  two  nights  more,  on  accounts  of  pressing 
London  engagements,  where  the  seats  is  all  sold  already 
for  it  in  Drury  Lane ;  and  then  he  makes  them  another 
bow,  and  says  if  he  has  succeeded  in  pleasing  them 
and  instructing  them,  he  will  be  deeply  obleeged  if 
they  will  mention  it  to  their  friends  and  get  them  to 
come  and  see  it. 

Twenty  people  sings  out: 

' '  What,  is  it  over  ?     Is  that  all  f ' 

The  duke  says  yes.  Then  there  was  a  fine  time. 
Everybody  sings  out,  "  Sold!"  and  rose  up  mad,  and 
was  a-going  for  that  stage  and  them  tragedians.  But  a 
big,  fine  looking  man  jumps  up  on  a  bench  and 
shouts : 

4 '  Hold  on  !  Just  a  word ,  gentlemen . ' '  They  stopped 
to  listen.  "We  are  sold  —  mighty  badly  sold.  But 
we  don't  want  to  be  the  laughing  stock  of  this  whole 
town,  I  reckon,  and  never  hear  the  last  of  this  thing  as 
long  as  we  live.  No.  What  we  want  is  to  go  out  of 
here  quiet,  and  talk  this  show  up,  and  sell  the  rest  of 
the  town  !  Then  we'll  all  be  in  the  same  boat.  Ain't 
that  sensible?"  ("You  bet  it  is! — the  jedge  is 
right!"  everybody  sings  out.)  "All  right,  then  — 
not  a  word  about  any  sell.  Go  along  home,  and  ad 
vise  everybody  to  come  and  see  the  tragedy." 

Next  day  you  couldn't  hear  nothing  around  that 
town  but  how  splendid  that  show  was.  House  was 
jammed  again  that  night,  and  we  sold  this  crowd  the 
same  way.  When  me  and  the  king  and  the  duke  got 
home  to  the  raft  we  all  had  a  supper ;  and  by  and  by, 
about  midnight,  they  made  Jim  and  me  back  her  out 
and  float  her  down  the  middle  of  the  river,  and  fetch 
her  in  and  hide  her  about  two  mile  below  town. 

The  third  night  the  house  was  crammed  again  —  and 
they  warn't  new-comers  this  time,  but  people  that  was 
at  the  show  the  other  two  nights.  I  stood  by  the  duke 


204  Huckleberry  Finn 

at  the  door,  and  I  see  that  every  man  that  went  in  had 
his  pockets  bulging,  or  something  muffled  up  under 
his  coat  —  and  I  see  it  warn't  no  perfumery,  neither, 
not  by  a  long  sight.  I  smelt  sickly  eggs  by  the  barrel, 
and  rotten  cabbages,  and  such  things;  and  if  I  know 
the  signs  of  a  dead  cat  being  around,  and  I  bet  I  do, 
there  was  sixty-four  of  them  went  in.  I  shoved  in 
there  for  a  minute,  but  it  was  too  various  for  me ;  I 
couldn't  stand  it.  Well,  when  the  place  couldn't  hold 
no  more  people  the  duke  he  give  a  fellow  a  quarter 
and  told  him  to  tend  door  for  him  a  minute,  and  then 
he  started  around  for  the  stage  door,  I  after  him ;  but 
the  minute  we  turned  the  corner  and  was  in  the  dark 
he  says : 

"  Walk  fast  now  till  you  get  away  from  the  houses, 
and  then  shin  for  the  raft  like  the  dickens  was  after 
you!'1 

I  done  it,  and  he  done  the  same.  We  struck  the 
raft  at  the  same  time,  and  in  less  than  two  seconds  we 
was  gliding  down  stream,  all  dark  and  still,  and  edging 
towards  the  middle  of  the  river,  nobody  saying  a  word. 
I  reckoned  the  poor  king  was  in  for  a  gaudy  time  of  it 
with  the  audience,  but  nothing  of  the  sort;  pretty 
soon  he  crawls  out  from  under  the  wigwam,  and  says: 

"Well,  how'd  the  old  thing  pan  out  this  time, 
duke?"  He  hadn't  been  up-town  at  all. 

We  never  showed  a  light  till  we  was  about  ten  mile 
below  the  village.  Then  we  lit  up  and  had  a  supper, 
and  the  king  and  the  duke  fairly  laughed  their  bones 
loose  over  the  way  they'd  served  them  people.  The 
duke  says : 

"Greenhorns,  flatheads !  /  knew  the  first  house 
would  keep  mum  and  let  the  rest  of  the  town  get  roped 
in;  and  I  knew  they'd  lay  for  us  the  third  night,  and 
consider  it  was  their  turn  now.  Well,  it  is  their  turn, 
and  I'd  give  something  to  know  how  much  they'd  take 


Huckleberry  Finn  205 

for  it.  I  would  just  like  to  know  how  they're  putting 
in  their  opportunity.  They  can  turn  it  into  a  picnic  if 
they  want  to  —  they  brought  plenty  provisions." 

Them  rapscallions  took  in  four  hundred  and  sixty- 
five  dollars  in  that  three  nights.  I  never  see  money 
hauled  in  by  the  wagon-load  like  that  before. 

By  and  by,  when  they  was  asleep  and  snoring,  Jim 
says: 

"  Don't  it  s'prise  you  de  way  dem  kings  carries  on, 
Huck?" 

"No,"  I  says,  "it  don't." 

"Why  don't  it,  Huck?" 

"  Well,  it  don't,  because  it's  in  the  breed.  I  reckon 
they're  all  alike." 

"But,  Huck,  dese  kings  o'  ourn  is  reglar  rapscal 
lions  ;  dat's  jist  what  dey  is ;  dey's  reglar  rapscallions." 

"Well,  that's  what  I'm  a-saying;  all  kings  is 
mostly  rapscallions,  as  fur  as  I  can  make  out." 

"Isdatso?" 

"You  read  about  them  once  —  you'll  see.  Look 
at  Henry  the  Eight;  this  'n  's  a  Sunday-school  Super 
intendent  to  him.  And  look  at  Charles  Second,  and 
Louis  Fourteen,  and  Louis  Fifteen,  and  James  Second, 
and  Edward  Second,  and  Richard  Third,  and  forty 
more;  besides  all  them  Saxon  heptarchies  that  used 
to  rip  around  so  in  old  times  and  raise  Cain.  My, 
you  ought  to  seen  old  Henry  the  Eight  when  he  was 
in  bloom.  He  was  a  blossom.  He  used  to  marry  a 
new  wife  every  day,  and  chop  off  her  head  next  morn 
ing.  And  he  would  do  it  just  as  indifferent  as  if  he 
was  ordering  up  eggs.  4  Fetch  up  Nell  Gwynn,'  he 
says.  They  fetch  her  up.  Next  morning,  *  Chop  off 
her  head  !  '  And  they  chop  it  off.  *  Fetch  up  Jane 
Shore,'  he  says;  and  up  she  comes.  Next  morning, 
1  Chop  off  her  head  '  —  and  they  chop  it  off.  *  Ring 
up  Fair  Rosamun.'  Fair  Rosamun  answers  the  bell. 


206  Huckleberry  Finn 

Next  morning,  '  Chop  off  her  head/  And  he  made 
every  one  of  them  tell  him  a  tale  every  night;  and  he 
kept  that  up  till  he  had  hogged  a  thousand  and  one 
tales  that  way,  and  then  he  put  them  all  in  a  book, 
and  called  it  Domesday  Book  —  which  was  a  good 
name  and  stated  the  case.  You  don't  know  kings, 
Jim,  but  I  know  them;  and  this  old  rip  of  ourn  is  one 
of  the  cleanest  I've  struck  in  history.  Well,  Henry 
he  takes  a  notion  he  wants  to  get  up  some  trouble  with 
this  country.  How  does  he  go  at  it — give  notice? — 
give  the  country  a  show?  No.  All  of  a  sudden  he 
heaves  all  the  tea  in  Boston  Harbor  overboard,  and 
whacks  out  a  declaration  of  independence,  and  dares 
them  to  come  on.  That  was  his  style  —  he  never  give 
anybody  a  chance.  He  had  suspicions  of  his  father, 
the  Duke  of  Wellington.  Well,  what  did  he  do?  Ask 
him  to  show  up?  No  —  drownded  him  in  a  butt  of 
mamsey,  like  a  cat.  S'pose  people  left  money  laying 
around  where  he  was  —  what  did  he  do  ?  He  collared 
it.  S'pose  he  contracted  to  do  a  thing,  and  you  paid 
him,  and  didn't  set  down  there  and  see  that  he  done 
it  —  what  did  he  do  ?  He  always  done  the  other  thing. 
S'pose  he  opened  his  mouth  —  what  then?  If  he 
didn't  shut  it  up  powerful  quick  he'd  lose  a  lie  every 
time.  That's  the  kind  of  a  bug  Henry  was;  and  if 
we'd  a  had  him  along  'stead  of  our  kings  he'd  a  fooled 
that  town  a  heap  worse  than  ourn  done.  I  don't  say 
that  ourn  is  lambs,  because  they  ain't,  when  you  come 
right  down  to  the  cold  facts;  but  they  ain't  nothing  to 
that  old  ram,  anyway.  All  I  say  is,  kings  is  kings, 
and  you  got  to  make  allowances.  Take  them  all 
around,  they're  a  mighty  ornery  lot.  It's  the  way 
they're  raised." 

"  But  dis  one  do  smell  so  like  de  nation,  Huck." 
"  Well,  they  all  do,  Jim.      We  can't  help  the  way  a. 
king  smells;  history  don't  tell  no  way/1 


Huckleberry  Finn  207 

"  Now  de  duke,  he's  a  tolerble  likely  man  in  some 
ways." 

"Yes,  a  duke's  different.  But  not  very  different. 
This  one's  a  middling  hard  lot  for  a  duke.  When 
he's  drunk  there  ain't  no  near-sighted  man  could  tell 
him  from  a  king." 

"  Well,  anyways,  I  doan'  hanker  for  no  mo*  un  um, 
Huck.  Dese  is  all  I  kin  stan'." 

41  It's  the  way  I  feel,  too,  Jim.  But  we've  got  them 
on  our  hands,  and  we  got  to  remember  what  they  are, 
and  make  allowances.  Sometimes  I  wish  we  could 
hear  of  a  country  that's  out  of  kings." 

What  was  the  use  to  tell  Jim  these  warn't  real  kings 
and  dukes?  It  wouldn't  a  done  no  good;  and,  be 
sides,  it  was  just  as  I  said :  you  couldn't  tell  them  from 
the  real  kind. 

I  went  to  sleep,  and  Jim  didn't  call  me  when  it  was 
my  turn.  He  often  done  that.  When  I  waked  up 
just  at  daybreak  he  was  sitting  there  with  his  head 
down  betwixt  his  knees,  moaning  and  mourning  to 
himself.  I  didn't  take  notice  nor  let  on.  I  knowed 
what  it  was  about.  He  was  thinking  about  his  wife 
and  his  children,  away  up  yonder,  and  he  was  low  and 
homesick;  because  he  hadn't  ever  been  away  from 
home  before  in  his  life ;  and  I  do  believe  he  cared  just 
as  much  for  his  people  as  white  folks  does  for  their'n. 
It  don't  seem  natural,  but  I  reckon  it's  so.  He  was 
often  moaning  and  mourning  that  way  nights,  when 
he  judged  I  was  asleep,  and  saying,  "  Po'  little  'Liza- 
beth !  po'  little  Johnny!  it's  mighty  hard;  I  spec'  I 
ain't  ever  gwyne  to  see  you  no  mo',  no  mo'!"  He 
was  a  mighty  good  nigger,  Jim  was. 

But  this  time  I  somehow  got  to  talking  to  him  about 
his  wife  and  young  ones ;   and  by  and  by  he  says : 

;<  What  makes  me  feel  so  bad  dis  time  'uz  bekase  I 
hear  sumpn  over  yonder  on  de  bank  like  a  whack,  er 


208  Huckleberry  Finn 

a  slam,  while  ago,  en  it  mine  me  er  de  time  I  treat  my 
little  'Lizabeth  so  ornery.  She  warn't  on'y  'bout  fo' 
year  ole,  en  she  tuck  de  sk'yarlet  fever,  en  had  a 
powful  rough  spell ;  but  she  got  well,  en  one  day  she 
was  a-stannin'  aroun',  en  I  says  to  her,  I  says: 

'"ShetdedoV 

11  She  never  done  it;  jis'  stood  dah,  kiner  smilin'  up 
at  me.  It  make  me  mad;  en  I  says  agin,  mighty  loud, 
I  says: 

'  '  Doan'  you  hear  me?     Shet  de  do' !' 

"  She  jis  stood  de  same  way,  kiner  smilin'  up.  I 
was  a-bilin'  !  I  says: 

1  'I  lay  I  make  you  mine !' 

"En  wid  dat  I  fetch'  her  a  slap  side  de  head  dat 
sont  her  a-sprawlin'.  Den  I  went  into  de  yuther 
room,  en  'uz  gone  'bout  ten  minutes;  en  when  I 
come  back  dah  was  dat  do'  a-stannin'  open  yit,  en 
dat  chile  stannin'  mos'  right  in  it,  a-lookin'  down  and 
mournin',  en  de  tears  runnin'  down.  My,  but  I  wuz 
mad!  I  was  a-gwyne  for  de  chile,  but  jis'  den  —  it 
was  ado'  dat  open  innerds  —  jis'  den,  'long  come  de 
wind  en  slam  it  to,  behine  de  chile,  ker-btam  ! — en  my 
Ian',  de  chile  never  move'  !  My  breff  mos'  hop  outer 
me;  en  I  feel  so  —  so  —  I  doan1  know  how  I  feel.  I 
crope  out,  all  a-tremblin',  en  crope  aroun'  en  open  de 
do'  easy  en  slow,  en  poke  my  head  in  behine  de  chile, 
sof  en  still,  en  all  uv  a  sudden  I  says  pow  /  jis'  as 
loud  as  I  could  yell.  She  never  budge  !  Oh,  Huck,  I 
bust  out  a-cryin'  en  grab  her  up  in  my  arms,  en  say, 
'Oh,  de  po'  little  thing!  De  Lord  God  Amighty 
f ogive  po'  ole  Jim,  kaze  he  never  gwyne  to  f ogive  his- 
self  as  long's  he  live!'  Oh,  she  was  plumb  deef  en 
dumb,  Huck,  plumb  deef  en  dumb  —  en  I'd  ben  a- 
treat'n  her  so!" 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

NEXT  day,  towards  night,  we  laid  up  under  a  little 
willow  towhead  out  in  the  middle,  where  there 
was  a  village  on  each  side  of  the  river,  and  the  duke 
and  the  king  begun  to  lay  out  a  plan  for  working  them 
towns.  Jim  he  spoke  to  the  duke,  and  said  he  hoped 
it  wouldn't  take  but  a  few  hours,  because  it  got  mighty 
heavy  and  tiresome  to  him  when  he  had  to  lay  all  day 
in  the  wigwam  tied  with  the  rope.  You  see,  when  we 
left  him  all  alone  we  had  to  tie  him,  because  if  any 
body  happened  on  to  him  all  by  himself  and  not  tied 
it  wouldn't  look  much  like  he  was  a  runaway  nigger, 
you  know.  So  the  duke  said  it  was  kind  of  hard  to 
have  to  lay  roped  all  day,  and  he'd  cipher  out  some 
way  to  get  around  it. 

He  was  uncommon  bright,  the  duke  was,  and  he 
soon  struck  it.  He  dressed  Jim  up  in  King  Lear's 
outfit — it  was  a  long  curtain-calico  gown,  and  a  white 
horse-hair  wig  and  whiskers;  and  then  he  took  his 
theater  paint  and  painted  Jim's  face  and  hands  and 
ears  and  neck  all  over  a  dead,  dull,  solid  blue,  like  a 
man  that's  been  drownded  nine  days.  Blamed  if  he 
warn't  the  horriblest  looking  outrage  I  ever  see.  Then 
the  duke  took  and  wrote  out  a  sign  on  a  shingle  so : 

Sick  Arab  —  but  harmless  when  not  out  of  hts  head. 

And  he  nailed  that  shingle  to  a  lath,  and  stood  the 
lath  up  four  or  five  foot  in  front  of  the  wigwam.     Jim 
was  satisfied.     He  said  it  was  a  sight  better  than  lying 
M  (209) 


210  Huckleberry  Finn 

tied  a  couple  of  years  every  day,  and  trembling  all 
over  every  time  there  was  a  sound.  The  duke  told 
him  to  make  himself  free  and  easy,  and  if  anybody 
ever  come  meddling  around,  he  must  hop  out  of  the 
wigwam,  and  carry  on  a  little,  and  fetch  a  howl  or  two 
like  a  wild  beast,  and  he  reckoned  they  would  light  out 
and  leave  him  alone.  Which  was  sound  enough  judg 
ment;  but  you  take  the  average  man,  and  he  wouldn't 
wait  for  him  to  howl.  Why,  he  didn't  only  look  like 
he  was  dead,  he  looked  considerable  more  than  that. 

These  rapscallions  wanted  to  try  the  Nonesuch  again, 
because  there  was  so  much  money  in  it,  but  they 
judged  it  wouldn't  be  safe,  because  maybe  the  news 
might  a  worked  along  down  by  this  time.  They 
couldn't  hit  no  project  that  suited  exactly;  so  at  last 
the  duke  said  he  reckoned  he'd  lay  off  and  work  his 
brains  an  hour  or  two  and  see  if  he  couldn't  put  up 
something  on  the  Arkansaw  village ;  and  the  king  he 
allowed  he  would  drop  over  to  t'other  village  without 
any  plan,  but  just  trust  in  Providence  to  lead  him  the 
profitable  way  —  meaning  the  devil,  I  reckon.  We 
had  all  bought  store  clothes  where  we  stopped  last; 
and  now  the  king  put  his'n  on,  and  he  told  me  to  put 
mine  on.  I  done  it,  of  course.  The  king's  duds  was 
all  black,  and  he  did  look  real  swell  and  starchy.  I 
never  knowed  how  clothes  could  change  a  body  be 
fore.  Why,  before,  he  looked  like  the  orneriest  old 
rip  that  ever  was;  but  now,  when  he'd  take  off  his  new 
white  beaver  and  make  a  bow  and  do  a  smile,  he 
looked  that  grand  and  good  and  pious  that  you'd  say 
he  had  walked  right  out  of  the  ark,  and  maybe  was  old 
Leviticus  himself.  Jim  cleaned  up  the  canoe,  and  I 
got  my  paddle  ready.  There  was  a  big  steamboat  lay 
ing  at  the  shore  away  up  under  the  point,  about  three 
mile  above  the  town  —  been  there  a  couple  of  hours, 
taking  on  freight.  Says  the  king: 


Huckleberry  Finn  211 

"  Seein'  how  I'm  dressed,  I  reckon  maybe  I  better 
arrive  down  from  St.  Louis  or  Cinicinnati,  or  some 
other  big  place.  Go  for  the  steamboat,  Huckleberry; 
we'll  come  down  to  the  village  on  her." 

I  didn't  have  to  be  ordered  twice  to  go  and  take  a 
steamboat  ride.  I  fetched  the  shore  a  half  a  mile 
above  the  village,  and  then  went  scooting  along  the 
bluff  bank  in  the  easy  water.  Pretty  soon  we  come  to 
a  nice  innocent-looking  young  country  jake  setting  on 
a  log  swabbing  the  sweat  off  of  his  face,  for  it  was 
powerful  warm  weather ;  and  he  had  a  couple  of  big 
carpet-bags  by  him. 

*'  Run  her  nose  in  shore,"  says  the  king.  I  done 
it.  "  Wher'  you  bound  for,  young  man?" 

t4  For  the  steamboat;   going  to  Orleans." 

41  Git  aboard,"  says  the  king.  "  Hold  on  a  minute, 
my  servant  '11  he'p  you  with  them  bags.  Jump  out 
and  he'p  the  gentleman,  Adolphus  " — meaning  me,  I 
see. 

I  done  so,  and  then  we  all  three  started  on  again. 
The  young  chap  was  mighty  thankful;  said  it  was 
tough '  work  toting  his  baggage  such  weather.  He 
asked  the  king  where  he  was  going,  and  the  king  told 
him  he'd  come  down  the  river  and  landed  at  the  other 
village  this  morning,  and  now  he  was  going  up  a  few 
mile  to  see  an  old  friend  on  a  farm  up  there.  The 
young  fellow  says : 

"  When  I  first  see  you  I  says  to  myself,  *  It's  Mr. 
Wilks,  sure,  and  he  come  mighty  near  getting  here  in 
time.'  But  then  I  says  again,  '  No,  I  reckon  it  ain't 
him,  or  else  he  wouldn't  be  paddling  up  the  river.' 
You  ain't  him,  are  you?" 

**No,  my  name's  Blodgett — Elexander  Blodgett  — 
Reverend  Elexander  Blodgett,  I  s'pose  I  must  say,  as 
I'm  one  o'  the  Lord's  poor  servants.  But  still  I'm 
jist  as  able  to  be  sorry  for  Mr.  Wilks  for  not  arriving 

N 


212  Huckleberry  Finn 

in  time,  all  the  same,  if  he's  missed  anything  by  it  — 
which  I  hope  he  hasn't." 

'*  Well,  he  don't  miss  any  property  by  it,  because 
he'll  get  that  all  right;  but  he's  missed  seeing  his 
brother  Peter  die  —  which  he  mayn't  mind,  nobody 
can  tell  as  to  that  —  but  his  brother  would  a  give 
anything  in  this  world  to  see  him  before  he  died ; 
never  talked  about  nothing  else  all  these  three  weeks ; 
hadn't  seen  him  since  they  was  boys  together— and 
hadn't  ever  seen  his  brother  William  at  all  —  that's  the 
deef  and  dumb  one  —  William  ain't  more  than  thirty 
or  thirty-five.  Peter  and  George  were  the  only  ones 
that  come  out  here ;  George  was  the  married  brother ; 
him  and  his  wife  both  died  last  year.  Harvey  and 
William's  the  only  ones  that's  left  now;  and,  as  I  was 
saying,  they  haven't  got  here  in  time." 

"  Did  anybody  send  'em  word?" 

"  Oh,  yes;  a  month  or  two  ago,  when  Peter  was 
first  took;  because  Peter  said  then  that  he  sorter  felt 
like  he  warn't  going  to  get  well  this  time.  You  see, 
he  was  pretty  old,  and  George's  g'yirh  was  too-young 
to  be  much  company  for  him,  except  Mary  Jane,  the 
red-headed  one;  and  so  he  was  kinder  lonesome  after 
George  and  his  wife  died,  and  didn't  seem  to  care 
much  to  live.  He  most  desperately  wanted  to  see 
Harvey  —  and  William,  too,  for  that  matter  —  because 
he  was  one  of  them  kind  that  can't  bear  to  make  a 
will.  He  left  a  letter  behind  for  Harvey,  and  said 
he'd  told  in  it  where  his  money  was  hid,  and  how  he 
wanted  the  rest  of  the  property  divided  up  so  George's 
g'yirls  would  be  all  right  —  for  George  didn't  leave 
nothing.  And  that  letter  was  all  they  could  get  him 
to  put  a  pen  to." 

"  Why  do  you  reckon  Harvey  don't  come?  Wher' 
does  he  live?" 

"Oh,   he   lives  in    England  —  Sheffield  —  preaches, 


Huckleberry  Finn  213 

there  —  hasn't  ever  been  in  this  country.  He  hasn't 
had  any  too  much  time  —  and  besides  he  mightn't  a 
got  the  letter  at  all,  you  know." 

"Too  bad,  too  bad  he  couldn't  a  lived  to  see  his 
brothers,  poor  soul.  You  going  to  Orleans,  you  say?" 

"Yes,  but  that  ain't  only  a  part  of  it.  I'm  going 
in  a  ship,  next  Wednesday,  for  Ryo  Janeero,  where 
my  uncle  lives." 

"  It's  a  pretty  long  journey.  But  it'll  be  lovely;  I 
wisht  I  was  a-going.  Is  Mary  Jane  the  oldest?  How 
old  is  the  others?" 

"  Mary  Jane's  nineteen,  Susan's  fifteen,  and  Joanna's 
about  fourteen  —  that's  the  one  that  gives  herself  to 
good  works  and  has  a  hare-lip." 

1 '  Poor  things !  to  be  left  alone  in  the  cold  world 
so." 

"Well,  they  could  be  worse  off.  Old  Peter  had 
friends,  and  they  ain't  going  to  let  them  come  to  no 
harm.  There's  Hobson,  the  Babtis'  preacher;  and 
Deacon  Lot  Hovey,  and  Ben  Rucker,  and  Abner 
Shackleford,  and.Levi  Bell,  the  lawyer;  and  Dr.  Rob 
inson,  and  their  wives,  and  the  widow  Bartley,  and — 
well,  there's  a  lot  of  them ;  but  these  are  the  ones  that 
Peter  was  thickest  with,  and  used  to  write  about  some 
times,  when  he  wrote  home;  so  Harvey  '11  know  where 
to  look  for  friends  when  he  gets  here." 

Well,  the  old  man  went  on  asking  questions  till  he 
just  fairly  emptied  that  young  fellow.  Blamed  if  he 
didn't  inquire  about  everybody  and  everything  in  that 
blessed  town,  and  all  about  the  Wilkses;  and  about 
Peter's  business  —  which  was  a  tanner;  and  about 
George's  —  which  was  a  carpenter;  and  about  Har 
vey's —  which  was  a  dissentering  minister;  and  so  on, 
and  so  on.  Then  he  says: 

"  What  did  you  want  to  walk  all  the  way  up  to  the 
steamboat  for?" 


214  Huckleberry  Finn 

'*  Because  she's  a  big  Orleans  boat,  and  I  was  afeaid 
she  mightn't  stop  there.  When  they're  deep  they 
won't  stop  for  a  hail.  A  Cincinnati  boat  will,  but  this 
is  a  St.  Louis  one.;' 

"  Was  Peter  Wilks  well  off?" 

"Oh,  yes,  pretty  well  off.  He  had  houses  and 
land,  and  it's  reckoned  he  left  three  or  four  thousand 
in  cash  hid  up  som'ers." 

"  When  did  you  say  he  died?" 

"  I  didn't  say,  but  it  was  last  night." 

"Funeral  to-morrow,  likely?" 

"  Yes,  'bout  the  middle  of  the  day." 

"Well,  it's  all  terrible  sad;  but  we've  all  got  to  go, 
one  time  or  another.  So  what  we  want  to  do  is  to  be 
prepared;  then  we're  all  right." 

"Yes,  sir,  it's  the  best  way.  Ma  used  to  always 
say  that." 

When  we  struck  the  boat  she  was  about  done  load 
ing,  and  pretty  soon  she  got  off.  The  king  never  said 
nothing  about  going  aboard,  so  I  lost  my  ride,  after 
all.  When  the  boat  was  gone  the  king  made  me  pad 
dle  up  another  mile  to  a  lonesome  place,  and  then  he 
got  ashore  and  says : 

"  Now  hustle  back,  right  off,  and  fetch  the  duke  up 
here,  and  the  new  carpet-bags.  And  if  he's  gone  over 
to  t'other  side,  go  over  there  and  git  him.  And  tell 
him  to  git  himself  up  regardless.  Shove  along,  now." 

I  see  what  he  was  up  to ;  but  I  never  said  nothing, 
of  course.  When  I  got  back  with  the  duke  we  hid  the 
canoe,  and  then  they  set  down  on  a  log,  and  the  king 
told  him  everything,  just  like  the  young  fellow  had 
said  it  —  every  last  word  of  it.  And  all  the  time  he 
was  a-doing  it  he  tried  to  talk  like  an  Englishman ; 
and  he  done  it  pretty  well,  too,  for  a  slouch.  I  can't 
imitate  him,  and  so  I  ain't  a-going  to  try  to;  but  he 
"eally  done  it  pretty  good.  Then  he  says: 


Huckleberry  Finn  215 

"How  are  you  on  the  deef  and  dumb,  Bilgewater?" 

The  duke  said,  leave  him  alone  for  that;  said  he  had 
played  a  deef  and  dumb  person  on  the  histronic  boards. 
So  then  they  waited  for  a  steamboat. 

About  the  middle  of  the  afternoon  a  couple  of  little 
boats  come  along,  but  they  didn't  come  from  high 
enough  up  the  river;  but  at  last  there  was  a  big  one, 
and  they  hailed  her.  She  sent  out  her  yawl,  and  we 
went  aboard,  and  she  was  from  Cincinnati;  and  when 
they  found  we  only  wanted  to  go  four  or  five  mile 
they  was  booming  mad,  and  gave  us  a.  cussing,  and 
said  they  wouldn't  land  us.  But  the  king  was  ca'm. 
He  says : 

14  If  gentlemen  kin  afford  to  pay  a  dollar  a  mile 
apiece  to  be  took  on  and  put  off  in  a  yawl,  a  steam 
boat  kin  afford  to  carry  'em,  can't  it?" 

So  they  softened  down  and  said  it  was  all  right; 
and  when  we  got  to  the  village  they  yawled  us  ashore. 
About  two  dozen  men  flocked  down  when  they  see  the 
yawl  a-coming,  and  when  the  king  says : 

"  Kin  any  of  you  gentlemen  tell  me  wher'  Mr.  Peter 
Wilks  lives?"  they  give  a  glance  at  one  another,  and 
nodded  their  heads,  as  much  as  to  say,  "What  d'  I 
tell  you?"  Then  one  of  them  says,  kind  of  soft  and 
gentle : 

"  I'm  sorry,  sir,  but  the  best  we  can  do  is  to  tell 
you  where  he  did  live  yesterday  evening." 

Sudden  as  winking  the  ornery  old  cretur  went  all 
to  smash,  and  fell  up  against  the  man,  and  put  his 
chin  on  his  shoulder,  and  cried  down  his  back,  and 
says : 

"Alas,  alas,  our  poor  brother — gone,  and  we  never 
got  to  see  him ;  oh,  it's  too,  too  hard  !" 

Then  he  turns  around,  blubbering,  and  makes  a  lot 
of  idiotic  signs  to  the  duke  on  his  hands,  and  blamed 
if  he  didn't  drop  a  carpet-bag  and  bust  out  a-cryincj. 


216  Huckleberry  Finn 

If  they  warn't  the  beatenest  lot,  them  two  frauds,  that 
ever  I  struck. 

Well,  the  men  gathered  around  and  sympathized 
with  them,  and  said  all  sorts  of  kind  things  to  them, 
and  carried  their  carpet-bags  up  the  hill  for  them,  and 
let  them  lean  on  them  and  cry,  and  told  the  king  all 
about  his  brother's  last  moments,  and  the  king  he  told 
it  all  over  again  on  his  hands  to  the  duke,  and  both  of 
them  took  on  about  that  dead  tanner  like  they'd  lost 
the  twelve  disciples.  Well,  if  ever  I  struck  anything 
like  it,  I'm  a  nigger.  It  was  enough  to  make  a  body 
ashamed  of  the  human  race. 


CHAPTER   XXV. 

THE  news  was  all  over  town  in  two  minutes,  and 
you  could  see  the  people  tearing  down  on  the 
run  from  every  which  way,  some  of  them  putting  on 
their  coats  as  they  come.  Pretty  soon  we  was  in  the 
middle  of  a  crowd,  and  the  noise  of  the  tramping  was 
like  a  soldier  march.  The  windows  and  dooryards  was 
full;  and  every  minute  somebody  would  say,  over  a 
fence : 

"Is  it  them?" 

And  somebody  trotting  along  with  the  gang  would 
answer  back  and  say: 
4  You  bet  it  is."' 

When  we  got  to  the  house  the  street  in  front  of  it 
was  packed,  and  the  three  girls  was  standing  in  the 
door.  Mary  Jane  was  red-headed,  but  that  don't  make 
no  difference,  she  was  most  awful  beautiful,  and  her 
face  and  her  eyes  was  all  lit  up  like  glory,  she  was  so 
glad  her  uncles  was  come.  The  king  he  spread  his 
arms,  and  Mary  Jane  she  jumped  for  them,  and  the 
hare-lip  jumped  for  the  duke,  and  there  they  had  it ! 
Everybody  most,  leastways  women,  cried  for  joy  to 
see  them  meet  again  at  last  and  have  such  good  times. 

Then  the  king  he  hunched  the  duke  private  —  I  see 
him  do  it  —  and  then  he  looked  around  and  see  the 
coffin,  over  in  the  corner  on  two  chairs;  so  then  him 
and  the  duke,  with  a  hand  across  each  other's  shoul 
der,  and  t'other  hand  to  their  eyes,  walked  slow  and 

(217) 


218  Huckleberry  Finn 

solemn  over  there,  everybody  dropping  back  to  give 
them  room,  and  all  the  talk  and  noise  stopping,  people 
saying  ".  Sh  !"  and  all  the  men  taking  their  hats  off  and 
drooping  their  heads,  so  you  could  a  heard  a  pin  fall. 
And  when  they  got  there  they  bent  over  and  looked  in 
the  coffin,  and  took  one  sight,  and  then  they  bust  out 
a-crying  so  you  could  a  heard  them  to  Orleans,  most; 
and  then  they  put  their  arms  around  each  other's 
necks,  and  hung  their  chins  over  each  other's  shoul 
ders;  and  then  for  three  minutes,  or  maybe  four,  I 
never  see  two  men  leak  the  way  they  done.  And, 
mind  you,  everybody  was  doing  the  same;  and  the 
place  was  that  damp  I  never  see  anything  like  it. 
Then  one  of  them  got  on  one  side  of  the  coffin,  and 
t'other  on  t'other  side,  and  they  kneeled  down  and 
rested  their  foreheads  on  the  coffin,  and  let  on  to  pray 
all  to  themselves.  Well,  when  it  come  to  that  it 
worked  the  crowd  like  you  never  see  anything  like  it, 
and  everybody  broke  down  and  went  to  sobbing  right 
out  loud  —  the  poor  girls,  too;  and  every  woman, 
nearly,  went  up  to  the  girls,  without  saying  a  word, 
and  kissed  them,  solemn,  on  the  forehead,  and  then 
put  their  hand  on  their  head,  and  looked  up  towards 
the  sky,  with  the  tears  running  down,  and  then  busted 
out  and  went  off  sobbing  and  swabbing,  and  give  the 
next  woman  a  show.  I  never  see  anything  so  dis 
gusting. 

Well,  by  and  by  the  king  he  gets  up  and  comes  for 
ward  a  little,  and  works  himself  up  and  slobbers  out  a 
speech,  all  full  of  tears  and  flapdoodle  about  its  being 
a  sore  trial  for  him  and  his  poor  brother  to  lose  the 
diseased,  and  to  miss  seeing  diseased  alive  after  the 
long  journey  of  four  thousand  mile,  but  it's  a  trial 
that's  sweetened  and  sanctified  to  us  by  this  clear  sym 
pathy  and  these  holy  tears,  and  so  he  thanks  them  out 
of  his  heart  and  out  of  his  brother's  heart,  because  out 


ALL    FULL    OF    TEARS    AND    FLAPDOODLE 


Huckleberry  Finn  219 

of  their  mouths  they  can't,  words  being  too  weak  and 
cold,  and  all  that  kind  of  rot  and  slush,  till  it  was  just 
sickening;  and  then  he  blubbers  out  a  pious  goody- 
goody  Amen,  and  turns  himself  loose  and  goes  to  cry 
ing  fit  to  bust. 

And  the  minute  the  words  were  out  of  his  mouth 
somebody  over  in  the  crowd  struck  up  the  doxolojer, 
and  everybody  joined  in  with  all  their  might,  and  it 
just  warmed  you  up  and  made  you  feel  as  good  as 
church  letting  out.  Music  is  a  good  thing;  and  after 
all  that  soul-butter  and  hogwash  I  never  see  it  freshen 
up  things  so,  and  sound  so  honest  and  bully. 

Then  the  king  begins  to  work  his  jaw  again,  and 
says  how  him  and  his  nieces  would  be  glad  if  a  few  of 
the  main  principal  friends  of  the  family  would  take 
supper  here  with  them  this  evening,  and  help  set  up 
with  the  ashes  of  the  diseased ;  and  says  if  his  poor 
brother  laying  yonder  could  speak  he  knows  who  he 
would  name,  for  they  was  names  that  was  very  dear  to 
him,  and  mentioned  often  in  his  letters ;  and  so  he  will 
name  the  same,  to  wit,  as  follows,  vizz. :  —  Rev.  Mr. 
Hobson,  and  Deacon  Lot  Hovey,  and  Mr.  Ben  Rucker, 
and  Abner  Shackleford,  and  Levi  Bell,  and  Dr.  Robin 
son,  and  their  wives,  and  the  widow  Bartley. 

Rev.  Hobson  and  Dr.  Robinson  was  down  to  the 
end  of  the  town  a-hunting  together  —  that  is,  I  mean 
the  doctor  was  shipping  a  sick  man  to  t'other  world, 
and  the  preacher  was  pinting  him  right.  Lawyer  Bell 
was  away  up  to  Louisville  on  business.  But  the  rest 
was  on  hand,  and  so  they  all  come  and  shook  hands 
with  the  king  and  thanked  him  and  talked  to  him ;  and 
then  they  shook  hands  with  the  duke  and  didn't  say 
nothing,  but  just  kept  a-smiling  and  bobbing  their 
heads  like  a  passel  of  sapheads  whilst  he  made  all  sorts 
of  signs  with  his  hands  and  said  "  Goo-goo  —  goo-goo- 
goo  "  all  the  time,  like  a  baby  that  can't  talk. 


220  Huckleberry  Finn 

So  the  king  he  blattered  along,  and  managed  to 
inquire  about  pretty  much  everybody  and  dog  in  town, 
by  his  name,  and  mentioned  all  sorts  of  little  things 
that  happened  one  time  or  another  in  the  town,  or  to 
George's  family,  or  to  Peter.  And  he  always  let  on 
that  Peter  wrote  him  the  things ;  but  that  was  a  lie : 
he  got  every  blessed  one  of  them  out  of  that  young 
flathead  that  we  canoed  up  to  the  steamboat. 

Then  Mary  Jane  she  fetched  the  letter  her  father 
left  behind,  and  the  king  he  read  it  out  loud  and  cried 
over  it.  It  give  the  dwelling-house  and  three  thousand 
dollars,  gold,  to  the  girls;  and  it  give  the  tanyard 
(which  was  doing  a  good  business),  along  with  some 
other  houses  and  land  (worth  about  seven  thousand), 
and  three  thousand  dollars  in  gold  to  Harvey  and 
William,  and  told  where  the  six  thousand  cash  was  hid 
down  cellar.  So  these  two  frauds  said  they'd  go  and 
fetch  it  up,  and  have  everything  square  and  above- 
board  ;  and  told  me  to  come  with  a  candle.  We  shut 
the  cellar  door  behind  us,  and  when  they  found  the 
bag  they  spilt  it  out  on  the  floor,  and  it  was  a  lovely 
sight,  all  them  yaller-boys.  My,  the  way  the  king's 
eyes  did  shine !  He  slaps  the  duke  on  the  shoulder 
and  says : 

"  Oh,  this  ain't  bully  nor  noth'n!  Oh,  no,  I  reckon 
not!  Why,  Biljy,  it  beats  the  Nonesuch,  don't  it?" 

The  duke  allowed  it  did.  They  pawed  the  yaller- 
boys,  and  sifted  them  through  their  fingers  and  let 
them  jingle  down  on  the  floor;  and  the  king  says: 

"It  ain't  no  use  talkin' ;  bein'  brothers  to  a  rich 
dead  man  and  representatives  of  furrin  heirs  that's  got 
left  is  the  line  for  you  and  me,  Bilge.  Thish  yer 
comes  of  trust' n  to  Providence.  It's  the  best  way,  in 
the  long  run.  I've  tried  'em  all,  and  ther'  ain't  no 
better  way." 

Most  everybody  would  a  been  satisfied  with  the  pile, 


Hucklebeiry  Finn  221 

and  took  it  on  trust;  but  no,  they  must  count  it.  So 
they  counts  it,  and  it  comes  out  four  hundred  and 
fifteen  dollars  short.  Says  the  king: 

"  Dern  him,  I  wonder  what  he  done  with  that  four 
hundred  and  fifteen  dollars?" 

They  worried  over  that  awhile,  and  ransacked  all 
around  for  it.  Then  the  duke  says: 

"Well,  he  was  a  pretty  sick  man,  and  likely  he 
made  a  mistake  —  I  reckon  that's  the  way  of  it.  The 
best  way's  to  let  it  go,  and  keep  still  about  it.  We 
can  spare  it." 

"  Oh,  shucks,  yes,  we  can  spare  it.  I  don't  k'yer 
noth'n  'bout  that  —  it's  the  count  I'm  thinkin'  about. 
We  want  to  be  awful  square  and  open  and  above-board 
here,  you  know.  We  want  to  lug  this  h-yer  money 
up  stairs  and  count  it  before  everybody  —  then  ther' 
ain't  noth'n  suspicious.  But  when  the  dead  man  says 
ther's  six  thous'n  dollars,  you  know,  we  don't  want 
to—" 

"  Hold  on,"  says  the  duke.  "Le's  make  up  the 
deffisit,"  and  he  begun  to  haul  out  yaller-boys  out  of 
his  pocket. 

"It's  a  most  amaz'n'  good  idea,  duke  —  you  have 
got  a  rattlin'  clever  head  on  you,"  says  the  king. 
"Blest  if  the  old  Nonesuch  ain't  a  heppin'  us  out 
agin,"  and  he  begun  to  haul  out  yaller-jackets  and 
stack  them  up. 

It  most  busted  them,  but  they  made  up  the  six 
thousand  clean  and  clear. 

"  Say,"  says  the  duke,  "  I  got  another  idea.  Le's 
go  up  stairs  and  count  this  money,  and  then  take  and 
give  it  to  the  girls. ' ' 

"  Good  land,  duke,  lemme  hug  you  !  It's  the  most 
dazzling  idea  'at  ever  a  man  struck.  You  have  cert'nly 
got  the  most  astonishin'  head  I  ever  see.  Oh,  this  is 
the  boss  dodge,  ther'  ain't  no  mistake  'bout  it.  Let 


222  Huckleberry  Finn 

'em  fetch  along  their  suspicions  now  if  they  want  to  — 
this  Jll  lay  'em  out." 

When  we  got  up-stairs  everybody  gethered  around 
the  table,  and  the  king  he  counted  it  and  stacked  it  up, 
three  hundred  dollars  in  a  pile  —  twenty  elegant  little 
piles.  Everybody  looked  hungry  at  it,  and  licked  their 
chops.  Then  they  raked  it  into  the  bag  again,  and  I 
see  the  king  begin  to  swell  himself  up  for  another 
speech.  He  says: 

'*  Friends  all,  my  poor  brother  that  lays  yonder  has 
done  generous  by  them  that's  left  behind  in  the  vale  of 
sorrers.  He  has  done  generous  by  these  yer  poor 
little  lambs  that  he  loved  and  sheltered,  and  that's  left 
fatherless  and  motherless.  Yes,  and  we  that  knowed 
him  knows  that  he  would  a  done  more  generous  by  'em 
if  he  hadn't  ben  afeard  o'  woundin'  his  dear  William 
and  me.  Now,  wouldn't  he?  Ther'  ain't  no  question 
'bout  it  in  my  mind.  Well,  then,  what  kind  o'  brothers 
would  it  be  that  'd  stand  in  his  way  at  sech  a  time? 
And  what  kind  o'  uncles  would  it  be  that  'd  rob  —  yes. 
rob  —  sech  poor  sweet  lambs  as  these  'at  he  loved  so  at 
sech  a  time?  If  I  know  William  —  and  I  think  I  do  — 
he  —  well,  I'll  jest  ask  him."  He  turns  around  and 
begins  to  make  a  lot  of  signs  to  the  duke  with  his 
hands,  and  the  duke  he  looks  at  him  stupid  and  leather- 
headed  a  while ;  then  all  of  a  sudden  he  seems  to  catch 
his  meaning,  and  jumps  for  the  king,  goo-gooing  with 
all  his  might  for  joy,  and  hugs  him  about  fifteen  times 
before  he  lets  up.  Then  the  king  says,  "I  knowed 
it;  I  reckon  that  '11  convince  anybody  the  way  he  feels 
about  it.  Here,  Mary  Jane,  Susan,  Joanner,  take  the 
money  —  take  it  all.  It's  the  gift  of  him  that  lays 
yonder,  cold  but  joyful." 

Mary  Jane  she  went  for  him,  Susan  and  the  hare-lip 
went  for  the  duke,  and  then  such  another  hugging  and 
kissing  I  never  see  yet.  And  everybody  crowded  up 


Huckleberry  Finn  223 

with  the  tears  in  their  eyes,  and  most  shook  the  hands 
off  of  them  frauds,  saying  all  the  time: 

*'  You  dear  good  souls! — how  lovely  ! — how  could 
you!" 

Well,  then,  pretty  soon  all  hands  got  to  talking 
about  the  diseased  again,  and  how  good  he  was,  and 
what  a  loss  he  was,  and  all  that;  and  before  long  a  big 
iron-jawed  man  worked  himself  in  there  from  outside, 
and  stood  a-listening  and  looking,  and  not  saying  any 
thing;  and  nobody  saying  anything  to  him  either, 
because  the  king  was  talking  and  they  was  all  busy 
listening.  The  king  was  saying — in  the  middle  of 
something  he'd  started  in  on — 

" — they  bein'  partickler  friends  o'  the  diseased. 
That's  why  they're  invited  here  this  evenin' ;  but  to 
morrow  we  want  all  to  come  —  everybody;  for  he 
respected  everybody,  he  liked  everybody,  and  so  it's 
Pitten  that  his  funeral  orgies  sh'd  be  public." 

And  so  he  went  a-mooning  on  and  on,  liking  to  hear 
himself  talk,  and  every  little  while  he  fetched  in  his 
funeral  orgies  again,  till  the  duke  he  couldn't  stand,  it 
no  more;  so  he  writes  on  a  little  scrap  of  paper, 
"  Obsequies,  you  old  fool,"  and  folds  it  up,  and  goes 
to  goo-gooing  and  reaching  it  over  people's  heads  to 
him.  The  king  he  reads  it  and  puts  it  in  his  pocket, 
and  says: 

11  Poor  William,  afflicted  as  he  is,  his  heart's  aluz 
right.  Asks  me  to  invite  everybody  to  come  to  the 
funeral  —  wants  me  to  make  'em  all  welcome.  But  he 
needn't  a  worried  —  it  was  jest  what  I  was  at." 

Then  he  weaves  along  again,  perfectly  ca'm,  and 
goes  to  dropping  in  his  funeral  orgies  again  every  now 
and  then,  just  like  he  done  before.  And  when  he 
done  it  the  third  time  he  says : 

"I  say  orgies,  not  because  it's  the  common  term, 
because  it  ain't  —  obsequies  bein'  the  common  term  — 


224  Huckleberry  Finn 

but  because  orgies  is  the  right  term.  Obsequies  ain't 
used  in  England  no  more  now — it's  gone  out.  We 
say  orgies  now  in  England.  Orgies  is  better,  because 
it  means  the  thing  you're  after  more  exact.  It's  a 
word  that's  made  up  out'n  the  Greek  orgo,  outside, 
open,  abroad;  and  the  Hebrew jeesum,  to  plant,  cover 
up;  hence  infer.  So,  you  see,  funeral  orgies  is  an 
open  er  public  funeral." 

He  was  the  worst  I  ever  struck.  Well,  the  iron- 
jawed  man  he  laughed  right  in  his  face.  Everybody 
was  shocked.  Everybody  says,  "Why,  doctor  !  "  and 
Abncr  Shackleford  says: 

11  Why,  Robinson,  hain't  you  heard  the  news?  This 
is  Harvey  Wilks." 

The  king  he  smiled  eager,  and  shoved  out  his 
flapper,  and  says : 

"/$•  it  my  poor  brother's  dear  good  friend  and  phy 
sician?  I — " 

"Keep  your  hands  off  of  me!"  says  the  doctor. 
"You  talk  like  an  Englishman,  don't  you?  It's  the 
worst  imitation  I  ever  heard.  You  Peter  Wilks' s 
brother!  You're  a  fraud,  that's  what  you  are!" 

Well,  how  they  all  took  on  !  They  crowded  around 
the  doctor  and  tried  to  quiet  him  down,  and  tried  to 
explain  to  him  and  tell  him  how  Harvey  'd  showed  in 
forty  ways  that  he  was  Harvey,  and  knowed  every 
body  by  name,  and  the  names  of  the  very  dogs,  and 
begged  and  begged  him  not  to  hurt  Harvey's  feelings 
and  the  poor  girl's  feelings,  and  all  that.  But  it  warn't 
no  use ;  he  stormed  right  along,  and  said  any  man  that 
pretended  to  be  an  Englishman  and  couldn't  imitate 
the  lingo  no  better  than  what  he  did  was  a  fraud  and  a 
liar.  The  poor  girls  was  hanging  to  the  king  and  cry 
ing;  and  all  of  a  sudden  the  doctor  ups  and  turns  on 
them.  He  says : 

"I  was  your  father's  friend,  and  I'm  your  friend; 


Huckleberry  Finn  225 

and  I  warn  you  as  a  friend,  and  an  honest  one  that 
wants  to  protect  you  and  keep  you  out  of  harm  and 
trouble,  to  turn  your  backs  on  that  scoundrel  and  have 
nothing  to  do  with  him,  the  ignorant  tramp,  with  his 
idiotic  Greek  and  Hebrew,  as  he  calls  it.  He  is  the 
thinnest  kind  of  an  impostor  —  has  come  here  with  a 
lot  of  empty  names  and  facts  which  he  picked  up 
somewheres,  and  you  take  them  for  proofs,  and  are 
helped  to  fool  yourselves  by  these  foolish  friends  here, 
who  ought  to  know  better.  Mary  Jane  Wilks,  you 
know  me  for  your  friend,  and  for  your  unselfish  friend, 
too.  Now  listen  to  me;  turn  this  pitiful  rascal  out  — 
I  beg  you  to  do  it.  Will  you?" 

Mary  Jane  straightened  herself  up,  and  my,  but  she 
was  handsome  !  She  says : 

"Here  is  my  answer."  She  hove  up  the  bag  of 
money  and  put  it  in  the  king's  hands,  and  says, 
"Take  this  six  thousand  dollars,  and  invest  for  me 
and  my  sisters  any  way  you  want  to,  and  don't  give 
us  no  receipt  for  it." 

Then  she  put  her  arm  around  the  king  on  one  side, 
and  Susan  and  the  hare-lip  done  the  same  on  the 
other.  Everybody  clapped  their  hands  and  stomped 
on  the  floor  like  a  perfect  storm,  whilst  the  king  held 
up  his  head  and  smiled  proud.  The  doctor  says: 

"All  right;  I  wash  my  hands  of  the  matter.  But  I 
warn  you  all  that  a  time  's  coming  when  you're  going 
to  feel  sick  whenever  you  think  of  this  day."  And 
away  he  went. 

"All  right,  doctor,"  says  the  king,  kinder  mocking 
him;  "  we'll  try  and  get  'em  to  send  for  you;"  which 
made  them  all  laugh,  and  they  said  it  was  a  prime 
good  hit. 


15 


CHAPTER   XXVI. 

WELL,  when  they  was  all  gone  the  king  he  asks 
Mary  Jane  how  they  was  off  for  spare  rooms, 
and  she  said  she  had  one  spare  room,  which  would  do 
for  Uncle  William,  and  she'd  give  her  own  room  to 
Uncle  Harvey,  which  was  a  little  bigger,  and  she  would 
turn  into  the  room  with  her  sisters  and  sleep  on  a  cot; 
and  up  garret  was  a  little  cubby,  with  a  pallet  in  it. 
The  king  said  the  cubby  would  do  for  his  valley  — 
meaning  me. 

So  Mary  Jane  took  us  up,  and  she  showed  them 
their  rooms,  which  was  plain  but  nice.  She  said  she'd 
have  her  frocks  and  a  lot  of  other  traps  took  out  of 
her  room  if  they  was  in  Uncle  Harvey's  way,  but  he 
said  they  warn't.  The  frocks  was  hung  along  the  wall, 
and  before  them  was  a  curtain  made  out  of  calico  that 
hung  down  to  the  floor.  There  was  an  old  hair  trunk 
in  one  corner,  and  a  guitar-box  in  another,  and  all 
sorts  of  little  knickknacks  and  jimcracks  around,  like 
girls  brisken  up  a  room  with.  The  king  said  it  was  all 
the  more  homely  and  more  pleasanter  for  these  fixings, 
and  so  don't  disturb  them.  The  duke's  room  was 
pretty  small,  but  plenty  good  enough,  and  so  was  my 
cubby. 

That  night  they  had  a  big  supper,  and  all  them  men 
and  women  was  there,  and  I  stood  behind  the  king  and 
the  duke's  chairs  and  waited  on  them,  and  the  niggers 
waited  on  the  rest.  Mary  Jane  she  set  at  the  head  of 

(226) 


Huckleberry  Finn  227 

the  table,  with  Susan  alongside  of  her,  and  said  how 
bad  the  biscuits  was,  and  how  mean  the  preserves  was, 
and  how  ornery  and  tough  the  fried  chickens  was  — 
and  all  that  kind  of  rot,  the  way  women  always  do  for 
to  force  out  compliments ;  and  the  people  all  knowed 
everything  was  tiptop,  and  said  so  —  said  "How  do 
you  get  biscuits  to  brown  so  nice?"  and  "Where,  for 
the  land's  sake,  did  you  get  these  amaz'n  pickles?" 
and  all  that  kind  of  humbug  talky-talk,  just  the  way 
people  always  does  at  a  supper,  you  know. 

And  when  it  was  all  done  me  and  the  hare-lip  had 
supper  in  the  kitchen  off  of  the  leavings,  whilst  the  others 
was  helping  the  niggers  clean  up  the  things.  The 
hare-lip  she  got  to  pumping  me  about  England,  and 
blest  if  I  didn't  think  the  ice  was  getting  mighty  thin 
sometimes.  She  says: 

"  Did  you  ever  see  the  king?" 

' '  Who  ?  William  Fourth  ?  Well,  I  bet  I  have  —  he 
goes  to  our  church."  I  knowed  he  was  dead  years 
ago,  but  I  never  let  on.  So  when  I  says  he  goes  to 
our  church,  she  says : 

"What— regular?" 

'Yes  —  regular.      His    pew's    right   over    opposite 
ourn  —  on  t'other  side  the  pulpit." 

"  I  thought  he  lived  in  London?" 

"  Well,  he  does.     Where  would  he  live?" 

"  But  I  thought^//  lived  in  Sheffield?" 

I  see  I  was  up  a  stump.  I  had  to  let  on  to  get 
choked  with  a  chicken  bone,  so  as  to  get  time  to  think 
how  to  get  down  again.  Then  I  says: 

"  I  mean  he  goes  to  our  church  regular  when  he's  in 
Sheffield.  That's  only  in  the  summer  time,  when  he 
comes  there  to  take  the  sea  baths." 

;<  Why,  how  you  talk  —  Sheffield  ain't  on  the  sea." 

"Well,  who  said  it  was?" 

"Why,  you  did." 
o 


228  Huckleberry  Finn 

"I  didn't,  nuther." 

44  You  did!" 

"I  didn't." 

44  You  did." 

44 1  never  said  nothing  of  the  kind." 

"Well,  what  did  you  say,  then?" 

44  Said  he  come  to  take  the  sea  baths  —  that's  what  I 
said." 

"  Well,  then,  how's  he  going  to  take  the  sea  baths  if 
it  ain't  on  the  sea?" 

"  Looky  here,"  I  says;  "did  you  ever  see  any 
Congress- water  ?' ' 

44  Yes." 

44  Well,  did  you  have  to  go  to  Congress  to  get 
it?" 

14  Why,  no." 

44  Well,  neither  does  William  Fourth  have  to  go  to 
the  sea  to  get  a  sea  bath." 

44  How  does  he  get  it,  then?" 

44  Gets  it  the  way  people  down  here  gets  Congress- 
water —  in  barrels.  There  in  the  palace  at  Sheffield 
they've  got  furnaces,  and  he  wants  his  water  hot. 
They  can't  bile  that  amount  of  water  away  off  there  at 
the  sea.  They  haven't  got  no  conveniences  for  it." 

44  Oh,  I  see,  now.  You  might  a  said  that  in  the  first 
place  and  saved  time." 

When  she  said  that  I  see  I  was  out  of  the  woods 
again,  and  so  I  was  comfortable  and  glad.  Next,  she 
says: 

44  Do  you  go  to  church,  too?" 

-Yes  — regular." 

44  Where  do  you  set?" 

*4  Why,  in  our  pew." 
4  Wtosepevr?" 

14  Why,  ourn  —  your  Uncle  Harvey's." 

"  His'n?     What  does  he  want  with  a  pew?" 


Huckleberry  Finn  229 

11  Wants  it  to  set  in.  What  did  you  reckon  he  wanted 
with  it?" 

44  Why,  I  thought  he'd  be  in  the  pulpit." 

Rot  him,  I  forgot  he  was  a  preacher.  I  see  I  was 
up  a  stump  again,  so  I  played  another  chicken  bone 
and  got  another  think.  Then  I  says : 

*'  Blame  it,  do  you  suppose  there  ain't  but  one 
preacher  to  a  church?" 

44  Why,  what  do  they  want  with  more?" 

"What! — to  preach  before  a  king?  I  never  did 
see  such  a  girl  as  you.  They  don't  have  no  less  than 
seventeen." 

11  Seventeen!  My  land  !  Why,  I  wouldn't  set  out 
such  a  string  as  that,  not  if  I  never  got  to  glory.  It 
must  take  'em  a  week." 

''Shucks,  they  don't  all  of  'em  preach  the  same 
day  —  only  one  of  'em." 

41  Well,  then,  what  does  the  rest  of  'em  do?" 

41  Oh,  nothing  much.  Loll  around,  pass  the  plate 
—  and  one  thing  or  another.  But  mainly  they  don't 
do  nothing." 

"Well,  then,  what  are  they/<?r  ?" 

44  Why,  they're  for  styk.  Don't  you  know  noth 
ing?" 

44  Well,  I  don't  want  to  know  no  such  foolishness  as 
that.  How  is  servants  treated  in  England?  Do  they 
treat  'em  better  'n  we  treat  our  niggers?" 

"No!  A  servant  ain't  nobody  there.  They  treat 
them  worse  than  dogs." 

"Don't  they  give  'em  holidays,  the  way  we  do, 
Christmas  and  New  Year's  week,  and  Fourth  of  July?" 

44  Oh,  just  listen  !  A  body  could  tell  you  hain't  ever 
been  to  England  by  that.  Why,  Hare-1  —  why,  Joanna, 
they  never  see  a  holiday  from  year's  end  to  year's 
end ;  never  go  to  the  circus,  nor  theater,  nor  nigger 
shows,  nor  nowheres." 


230  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Nor  church?" 

"Nor  church." 

"  "But you  always  went  to  church." 

Well,  I  was  gone  up  again.  I  forgot  I  was  the  old 
man's  servant.  But  next  minute  I  whirled  in  on  a 
kind  of  an  explanation  how  a  valley  was  different  from 
a  common  servant  and  had  to  go  to  church  whether 
he  wanted  to  or  not,  and  set  with  the  family,  on  ac 
count  of  its  being  the  law.  But  I  didn't  do  it  pretty 
good,  and  when  I  got  done  I  see  she  warn't  satisfied. 
She  says : 

"  Honest  injun,  now,  hain't  you  been  telling  me  a 
lot  of  lies?" 

'*  Honest  injun,"  says  I. 

"None  of  it  at  all?" 

"  None  of  it  at  all.     Not  a  lie  in  it,"  says  I. 

"  Lay  your  hand  on  this  book  and  say  it." 

I  see  it  warn't  nothing  but  a  dictionary,  so  I  laid  my 
hand   on  it  and  said  it.     So  then  she  looked  a  little 
better  satisfied,  and  says: 

II  Well,  then,  I'll  believe  some  of  it;  but  I  hope  to 
gracious  if  I'll  believe  the  rest." 

"What  is  it  you  won't  believe,  Joe?"  says  Mary 
Jane,  stepping  in  with  Susan  behind  her.  "  It  ain't 
right  nor  kind  for  you  to  talk  so  to  him,  and  him  a 
stranger  and  so  far  from  his  people.  How  would  you 
like  to  be  treated  so?" 

'  That's  always  your  way,  Maim  —  always  sailing  in 
to  help  somebody  before  they're  hurt.  I  hain't  done 
nothing  to  him.  He's  told  some  stretchers,  I  reckon, 
and  I  said  I  wouldn't  swallow  it  all;  and  that's  every 
bit  and  grain  I  did  say.  I  reckon  he  can  stand  a  little 
thing  like  that,  can't  he?" 

"I  don't  care  whether  'twas  little  or  whether  'twas 
big;  he's  here  in  our  house  and  a  stranger,  and  it 
wasn't  good  of  you  to  say  it.  If  you  was  in  his  place 


Huckleberry  Finn  231 

it  would  make  you  feel  ashamed;  and  so  you  oughtn't 
to  say  a  thing  to  another  person  that  will  make  them 
feel  ashamed." 

"Why,  Maim,  he  said—" 

"It  don't  make  no  difference  what  he  said — that 
ain't  the  thing.  The  thing  is  for  you  to  treat  him 
kind,  and  not  be  saying  things  to  make  him  remember 
he  ain't  in  his  own  country  and  amongst  his  own 
folks." 

I  says  to  myself,  this  is  a  girl  that  I'm  letting  that 
old  reptle  rob  her  of  her  money ! 

Then  Susan  she  waltzed  in;  and  if  you'll  believe 
me,  she  did  give  Hare-lip  hark  from  the  tomb ! 

Says  I  to  myself,  and  this  is  another  one  that  I'm 
letting  him  rob  her  of  her  money ! 

Then  Mary  Jane  she  took  another  inning,  and  went 
in  sweet  and  lovely  again  —  which  was  her  way;  but 
when  she  got  done  there  warn't  hardly  anything  left  o' 
poor  Hare-lip.  So  she  hollered. 

"All  right,  then,"  says  the  other  girls;  "you  just 
ask  his  pardon." 

She  done  it,  too ;  and  she  done  it  beautiful.  She 
done  it  so  beautiful  it  was  good  to  hear ;  and  I  wished 
I  could  tell  her  a  thousand  lies,  so  she  could  do  it 
again. 

I  says  to  myself,  this  is  another  one  that  I'm  letting 
him  rob  her  of  her  money.  And  when  she  got  through 
they  all  jest  laid  theirselves  out  to  make  me  feel  at 
home  and  know  I  was  amongst  friends.  I  felt  so 
ornery  and  low  down  and  mean  that  I  says  to  myself, 
my  mind's  made  up;  I'll  hive  that  money  for  them  or 
bust. 

So  then  I  lit  out  —  for  bed,  I  said,  meaning  some 
time  or  another.  When  I  got  by  myself  I  went  to 
thinking  the  thing  over.  I  says  to  myself,  shall  I  go 
to  that  doctor,  private,  and  blow  on  these  frauds? 


232  Huckleberry  Finn 

No  —  that  won't  do.  He  might  tell  who  told  him; 
then  the  king  and  the  duke  would  make  it  warm  for 
me.  Shall  I  go,  private,  and  tell  Mary  Jane?  Nc  — 
I  dasn't  do  it.  Her  face  would  give  them  a  hint, 
sure;  they've  got  the  money,  and  they'd  slide  right 
out  and  get  away  with  it.  If  she  was  to  fetch  in  help 
I'd  get  mixed  up  in  the  business  before  it  was  done 
with,  I  judge.  No;  there  ain't  no  good  way  but  one. 
I  got  to  steal  that  money,  somehow;  and  I  got  to 
steal  it  some  way  that  they  won't  suspicion  that  I  done 
it.  They've  got  a  good  thing  here,  and  they  ain't 
a-going  to  leave  till  they've  played  this  family  and  this 
town  for  all  they're  worth,  so  I'll  find  a  chance  time 
enough.  I'll  steal  it  and  hide  it;  and  by  and  by, 
when  I'm  away  down  the  river,  I'll  write  a  letter  and 
tell  Mary  Jane  where  it's  hid.  But  I  better  hive  it  to 
night  if  I  can,  because  the  doctor  maybe  hasn't  let  up 
as  much  as  he  lets  on  he  has ;  he  might  scare  them 
out  of  here  yet. 

So,  thinks  I,  I'll  go  and  search  them  rooms.  Up 
stairs  the  hall  was  dark,  but  I  found  the  duke's  room, 
and  started  to  paw  around  it  with  my  hands ;  but  I 
recollected  it  wouldn't  be  much  like  the  king  to  let 
anybody  else  take  care  of  that  money  but  his  own  self ; 
so  then  I  went  to  his  room  and  begun  to  paw  around 
there.  But  I  see  I  couldn't  do  nothing  without  a 
candle,  and  I  dasn't  light  one,  of  course.  So  I  judged 
I'd  got  to  do  the  other  thing  —  lay  for  them  and 
eavesdrop.  About  that  time  I  hears  their  footsteps 
coming,  and  was  going  to  skip  under  the  bed;  I 
reached  for  it,  but  it  wasn't  where  I  thought  it  would 
be;  but  I  touched  the  curtain  that  hid  Mary  Jane's 
frocks,  so  I  jumped  in  behind  that  and  snuggled  in 
amongst  the  gowns,  and  stood  there  perfectly  still. 

They  come  in  and  shut  the  door ;  and  the  first  thing 
the  duke  done  was  to  get  down  and  look  under  the 


Huckleberry  Finn  233 

bed.  Then  I  was  glad  I  hadn't  found  the  bed  when  I 
wanted  it.  And  yet,  you  know,  it's  kind  of  natural  to 
hide  under  the  bed  when  you  are  up  to  anything 
private.  They  sets  down  then,  and  the  king  says: 

"  Well,  what  is  it?  And  cut  it  middlin'  short,  be 
cause  it's  better  for  us  to  be  down  there  a-whoopin' 
up  the  mournin'  than  up  here  givin'  'em  a  chance  to 
talk  us  over." 

44  Well,  this  is  it,  Capet.  I  ain't  easy;  I  ain't  com 
fortable.  That  doctor  lays  on  my  mind.  I  wanted  to 
know  your  plans.  I've  got  a  notion,  and  I  think  it's  a 
sound  one." 

4 'What  is  it,  duke?" 

*  *  That  we  better  glide  out  of  this  before  three  in  the 
morning,  and  clip  it  down  the  river  with  what  we've 
got.  Specially,  seeing  we  got  it  so  easy — given  back 
to  us,  flung  at  our  heads,  as  you  may  say,  when  of 
course  we  allowed  to  have  to  steal  it  back.  I'm  for 
knocking  off  and  lighting  out." 

That  made  me  feel  pretty  bad.  About  an  hour  or 
two  ago  it  would  a  been  a  little  different,  but  now  it 
made  me  feel  bad  and  disappointed.  The  king  rips  out 
and  says : 

"  What!  And  not  sell  out  the  rest  o*  the  property? 
March  off  like  a  passel  of  fools  and  leave  eight  or  nine 
thous'n'  dollars'  worth  o'  property  layin'  around  jest 
sufferin'  to  be  scooped  in? — and  all  good,  salable 
stuff,  too." 

The  duke  he  grumbled ;  said  the  bag  of  gold  was 
enough,  and  he  didn't  want  to  go  no  deeper  —  didn't 
want  to  rob  a  lot  of  orphans  of  everything  they  had. 

4 'Why,  how  you  talk!"  says  the  king.  "We 
sha'n't  rob  'em  of  nothing  at  all  but  jest  this  money. 
The  people  that  buys  the  property  is  the  suffrers; 
because  as  soon  's  it's  found  out  'at  we  didn't  own 
it  —  which  won't  be  long  after  we've  slid  —  the  sale 


234  Huckleberry  Finn 

won't  be  valid,  and  it  '11  all  go  back  to  the  estate. 
These  yer  orphans  '11  git  their  house  back  agin,  and 
that's  enough  ivr  them ;  they're  young  and  spry,  and 
k'n  easy  earn  a  livin'.  They  ain't  a-goin  to  suffer. 
Why,  jest  think  —  there's  thous'n's  and  thous'n's  that 
ain't  nigh  so  well  off.  Bless  you,  they  ain't  got  noth'n' 
to  complain  of." 

Well,  the  king  he  talked  him  blind;  so  at  last  he 
give  in,  and  said  all  right,  but  said  he  believed  it  was 
blamed  foolishness  to  stay,  and  that  doctor  hanging 
over  them.  But  the  king  says : 

"Cuss  the  doctor!  What  do  we  k'yer  for  him  f 
Hain't  we  got  all  the  fools  in  town  on  our  side?  And 
ain't  that  a  big  enough  majority  in  any  town?" 

So  they  got  ready  to  go  down  stairs  again.  The 
duke  says: 

"  I  don't  think  we  put  that  money  in  a  good  place." 

That  cheered  me  up.  I'd  begun  to  think  I  warn't 
going  to  get  a  hint  of  no  kind  .to  help  me.  The  king 
says: 

"Why?" 

<c  Because  Mary  Jane  '11  be  in  mourning  from  this 
out;  and  first  you  know  the  nigger  that  does  up  the 
rooms  will  get  an  order  to  box  these  duds  up  and  put 
'em  away;  and  do  you  reckon  a  nigger  can  run  across 
money  and  not  borrow  some  of  it?" 

*'  Your  head's  level  agin,  duke,"  says  the  king;  and 
he  comes  a-fumbling  under  the  curtain  two  or  three 
foot  from  where  I  was.  I  stuck  tight  to  the  wall  and 
kept  mighty  still,  though  quivery;  and  I  wondered 
what  them  fellows  would  say  to  me  if  they  catched 
me;  and  I  tried  to  think  what  I'd  better  do  if  they  did 
catch  me.  But  the  king  he  got  the  bag  before  I  could 
think  more  than  about  a  half  a  thought,  and  he  never 
suspicioned  1  was  around.  They  took  and  shoved  the 
bag  through  a  rip  in  the  straw  tick  that  was  under  the 


Huckleberry  Finn  255 

feather-bed,  and  crammed  it  in  a  foot  or  two  amongst 
the  straw  and  said  it  was  all  right  now,  because  a 
nigger  only  makes  up  the  feather-bed,  and  don't  turn 
over  the  straw  tick  only  about  twice  a  year,  and  so  it 
warn't  in  no  danger  of  getting  stole  now. 

But  I  knowed  better.  I  had  it  out  of  there  before 
they  was  half-way  down  stairs.  I  groped  along  up  to 
my  cubby,  and  hid  it  there  till  I  could  get  a  chance 
to  do  better.  I  judged  I  better  hide  it  outside  of  the 
house  somewheres,  because  if  they  missed  it  they  would 
give  the  house  a  good  ransacking:  I  knowed  that  very 
well.  Then  I  turned  in,  with  my  clothes  all  on;  but  I 
couldn't  a  gone  to  sleep  if  I'd  a  wanted  to,  I  was  in 
such  a  sweat  to  get  through  with  the  business.  By 
and  by  I  heard  the  king  and  the  duke  come  up ;  so  I 
rolled  off  my  pallet  and  laid  with  my  chin  at  the  top  of 
my  ladder,  and  waited  to  see  if  anything  was  going  to 
happen.  But  nothing  did. 

So  I  held  on  till  all  the  late  sounds  had  quit  and  the 
early  ones  hadn't  begun  yet;  and  then  I  slipped  down 
the  ladder. 


CHAPTER   XXVII. 

I  CREPT  to  their  doors  and  listened ;  they  was  snor 
ing.  So  I  tiptoed  along,  and  got  down  stairs  all 
right.  There  warn't  a  sound  anywheres.  I  peeped 
through  a  crack  of  the  dining-room  door,  and  see  the 
men  that  was  watching  the  corpse  all  sound  asleep  on 
their  chairs.  The  door  was  open  into  the  parlor,  where 
the  corpse  was  laying,  and  there  was  a  candle  in  both 
rooms.  I  passed  along,  and  the  parlor  door  was  open ; 
but  I  see  there  warn't  nobody  in  there  but  the  re 
mainders  of  Peter;  so  I  shoved  on  by;  but  the  front 
door  was  locked,  and  the  key  wasn't  there.  Just  then 
1  heard  somebody  corning  down  the  stairs,  back  behind 
me.  I  run  in  the  parlor  and  took  a  swift  look  around, 
and  the  only  place  I  see  to  hide  the  bag  was  in  the 
coffin.  The  lid  was  shoved  along  about  a  foot,  show 
ing  the  dead  man's  face  down  in  there,  with  a  wet 
cloth  over  it,  and  his  shroud  on.  I  tucked  the  money 
bag  in  under  the  lid,  just  down  beyond  where  his 
hands  was  crossed,  which  made  me  creep,  they  was  so 
cold,  and  then  I  run  back  across  the  room  and  in 
behind  the  door. 

The  person  coming  was  Mary  Jane.  She  went  to 
the  coffin,  very  soft,  and  kneeled  down  and  looked  in; 
then  she  put  up  her  handkerchief,  and  I  see  she  begun 
to  cry,  though  I  couldn't  hear  her,  and  her  back  was 
to  me.  I  slid  out,  and  as  I  passed  the  dining-room  I 
thought  I'd  make  sure  them  watchers  hadn't  seen  me; 

(236) 


Huckleberry  Finn  237 

so  I  looked  through  the  crack,  and  everything  was  all 
right.  They  hadn't  stirred. 

I  slipped  up  to  bed,  feeling  ruther  blue,  on  accounts 
of  the  thing  playing  out  that  way  after  I  had  took  so 
much  trouble  and  run  so  much  resk  about  it.  Says  I, 
if  it  could  stay  where  it  is,  all  right;  because  when  we 
get  down  the  river  a  hundred  mile  or  two  I  could  write 
back  to  Mary  Jane,  and  she  could  dig  him  up  again 
and  get  it;  but  that  ain't  the  thing  that's  going  to 
happen;  the  thing  that's  going  to  happen  is,  the 
money  '11  be  found  when  they  come  to  screw  on  the 
lid.  Then  the  king  '11  get  it  again,  and  it  '11  be  a  long 
day  before  he  gives  anybody  another  chance  to  smouch 
it  from  him.  Of  course  I  wanted  to  slide  down  and 
get  it  out  of  there,  but  I  dasn't  try  it.  Every  minute 
it  was  getting  earlier  now,  and  pretty  soon  some  of 
them  watchers  would  begin  to  stir,  and  I  might  get 
catched  —  catched  with  six  thousand  dollars  in  my 
hands  that  nobody  hadn't  hired  me  to  take  care  of.  I 
don't  wish  to  be  mixed  up  in  no  such  business  as  that, 
I  says  to  myself. 

When  I  got  down  stairs  in  the  morning  the  parlor 
was  shut  up,  and  the  watchers  was  gone.  There  warn't 
nobody  around  but  the  family  and  the  widow  Bartley 
and  our  tribe.  I  watched  their  faces  to  see  if  anything 
had  been  happening,  but  I  couldn't  tell. 

Towards  the  middle  of  the  day  the  undertaker  come 
with  his  man,  and  they  set  the  coffin  in  the  middle  of 
the  room  on  a  couple  of  chairs,  and  then  set  all  our 
chairs  in  rows,  and  borrowed  more  from  the  neighbors 
till  the  hall  and  the  parlor  and  the  dining-room  was 
full.  I  see  the  coffin  lid  was  the  way  it  was  before, 
but  I  dasn't  go  to  look  in  under  it,  with  folks  around. 

Then  the  people  begun  to  flock  in,  and  the  beats 
and  the  girls  took  seats  in  the  front  row  at  the  head  of 
the  coffin,  and  for  a  half  an  hour  the  people  filed 


238  Huckleberry  Finn 

around  slow,  in  single  rank,  and  looked  down  at  the 
dead  man's  face  a  minute,  and  some  dropped  in  a  tear, 
and  it  was  all  very  still  and  solemn,  only  the  girls  and 
the  beats  holding  handkerchiefs  to  their  eyes  and  keep 
ing  their  heads  bent,  and  sobbing  a  little.  There 
warn't  no  other  sound  but  the  scraping  of  the  feet  on 
the  floor  and  blowing  noses  —  because  people  always 
blows  them  more  at  a  funeral  than  they  do  at  other 
places  except  church. 

When  the  place  was  packed  full  the  undertaker  he 
slid  around  in  his  black  gloves  with  his  softy  soother 
ing  ways,  putting  on  the  last  touches,  and  getting 
people  and  things  all  ship-shape  and  comfortable,  and 
making  no  more  sound  than  a  cat.  He  never  spoke ; 
he  moved  people  around,  he  squeezed  in  late  ones,  he 
opened  up  passageways,  and  done  it  with  nods,  and 
signs  with  his  hands.  Then  he  took  his  place  over 
against  the  wall.  He  was  the  softest,  glidingest, 
steal thiest  man  I  ever  see;  and  there  warn't  no  more 
smile  to  him  than  there  is  to  a  ham. 

They  had  borrowed  a  melodeum  —  a  sick  one ;  and 
when  everything  was  ready  a  young  woman  set  down 
and  worked  it,  and  it  was  pretty  skreeky  and  colicky, 
and  everybody  joined  in  and  sung,  and  Peter  was  the 
only  one  that  had  a  good  thing,  according  to  my 
notion.  Then  the  Reverend  Hobson  opened  up,  slow 
and  solemn,  and  begun  to  talk;  and  straight  off  the 
most  outrageous  row  busted  out  in  the  cellar  a  body 
ever  heard ;  it  was  only  one  dog,  but  he  made  a  most 
powerful  racket,  and  he  kept  it  up  right  along;  the 
parson  he  had  to  stand  there,  over  the  coffin,  and  wait 
•—you  couldn't  hear  yourself  think.  It  was  right 
down  awkward,  and  nobody  didn't  seem  to  know  what 
to  do.  But  pretty  soon  they  see  that  long-legged 
undertaker  make  a  sign  to  the  preacher  as  much  as  to 
say,  "Don't  you  worry  —  just  depend  on  me."  Then 


Huckleberry  Finn  239 

he  stooped  down  and  begun  to  glide  along  the  wall, 
just  his  shoulders  showing  over  the  people's  heads. 
So  he  glided  along,  and  the  powwow  and  racket  get 
ting  more  and  more  outrageous  all  the  time ;  and  at 
last,  when  he  had  gone  around  two  sides  of  the  room, 
he  disappears  down  cellar.  Then  in  about  two  seconds 
we  heard  a  whack,  and  the  dog  he  finished  up  with  a 
most  amazing  howl  or  two,  and  then  everything  was 
dead  still,  and  the  parson  begun  his  solemn  talk  where 
he  left  off.  In  a  minute  or  two  here  comes  this  under 
taker's  back  and  shoulders  gliding  along  the  wall 
again;  and  so  he  glided  and  glided  around  three  sides 
of  the  room,  and  then  rose  up,  and  shaded  his  mouth 
with  his  hands,  and  stretched  his  neck  out  towards  the 
preacher,  over  the  people's  heads,  and  says,  in  a  kind 
of  a  coarse  whisper,  "He  had  a  rat!"  Then  he 
drooped  down  and  glided  along  the  wall  again  to  his 
place.  You  could  see  it  was  a  great  satisfaction  to  the 
people,  because  naturally  they  wanted  to  know.  A 
little  thing  like  that  don't  cost  nothing,  and  it's  just  the 
little  things  that  makes  a  man  to  be  looked  up  to  and 
liked.  There  warn't  no  more  popular  man  in  town 
than  what  that  undertaker  was. 

Well,  the  funeral  sermon  was  very  good,  but  pison 
long  and  tiresome ;  and  then  the  king  he  shoved  in  and 
got  off  some  of  his  usual  rubbage,  and  at  last  the  job 
was  through,  and  the  undertaker  begun  to  sneak  up  on 
the  coffin  with  his  screw-driver.  I  was  in  a  sweat 
then,  and  watched  him  pretty  keen.  But  he  never 
meddled  at  all ;  just  slid  the  lid  along  as  soft  as  mush, 
and  screwed  it  down  tight  and  fast.  So  there  I  was ! 
I  didn't  know  whether  the  money  was  in  there  or  not. 
So,  says  I,  s'pose  somebody  has  hogged  that  bag  on 
the  sly? — now  how  do  7  know  whether  to  write  to 
Mary  Jane  or  not?  S'pose  she  dug  him  up  and  didn't 
find  nothing,  what  would  she  think  of  me?  Blame  it, 


240  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  says,  I  might  get  hunted  up  and  jailed ;  I'd  better 
lay  low  and  keep  dark,  and  not  write  at  all;  the  thing's 
awful  mixed  now;  trying  to  better  it,  I've  worsened  it 
a  hundred  times,  and  I  wish  to  goodness  I'd  just  let  it 
alone,  dad  fetch  the  whole  business ! 

They  buried  him,  and  we  come  back  home,  and  I 
went  to  watching  faces  again  —  I  couldn't  help  it,  and 
I  couldn't  rest  easy.  But  nothing  come  of  it;  the 
faces  didn't  tell  me  nothing. 

The  king  he  visited  around  in  the  evening,  and 
sweetened  everybody  up,  and  made  himself  ever  so 
friendly ;  and  he  give  out  the  idea  that  his  congrega 
tion  over  in  England  would  be  in  a  sweat  about  him, 
so  he  must  hurry  and  settle  up  the  estate  right  away 
and  leave  for  home.  He  was  very  sorry  he  was  so 
pushed,  and  so  was  everybody;  they  wished  he  could 
stay  longer,  but  they  said  they  could  see  it  couldn't  be 
done.  And  he  said  of  course  him  and  William  would 
take  the  girls  home  with  them ;  and  that  pleased  every 
body  too,  because  then  the  girls  would  be  well  fixed  and 
amongst  their  own  relations ;  and  it  pleased  the  girls, 
too  —  tickled  them  so  they  clean  forgot  they  ever  had 
a  trouble  in  the  world ;  and  told  him  to  sell  out  as 
quick  as  he  wanted  to,  they  would  be  ready.  Them 
poor  things  was  that  glad  and  happy  it  made  my  heart 
ache  to  see  them  getting  fooled  and  lied  to  so,  but  I 
didn't  see  no  safe  way  for  me  to  chip  in  and  change 
the  general  tune. 

Well,  blamed  if  the  king  didn't  bill  the  house  and 
the  niggers  and  all  the  property  for  auction  straight 
off  —  sale  two  days  after  the  funeral;  but  anybody 
could  buy  private  beforehand  if  they  wanted  to. 

So  the  next  day  after  the  funeral,  along  about  noon 
time,  the  girls'  joy  got  the  first  jolt.  A  couple  of 
nigger  traders  come  along,  and  the  king  sold  them  the 
niggers  reasonable,  for  three-day  drafts  as  they  called 


Huckleberry  Finn  241 

it,  and  away  they  went,  the  two  sons  up  the  river  to 
Memphis,  and  their  mother  down  the  river  to  Orleans. 
I  thought  them  poor  girls  and  them  niggers  would 
break  their  hearts  for  grief;  they  cried  around  each 
other,  and  took  on  so  it  most  made  me  down  sick  to 
see  it.  The  girls  said  they  hadn't  ever  dreamed  of 
seeing  the  family  separated  or  sold  away  from  the 
town.  I  can't  ever  get  it  out  of  my  memory,  the 
sight  of  them  poor  miserable  girls  and  niggers  hanging 
around  each  other's  necks  and  crying;  and  I  reckon  I 
couldn't  a  stood  it  all,  but  would  a  had  to  bust  out 
and  tell  on  our  gang  if.  I  hadn't  knowed  the  sale  warn't 
no  account  and  the  niggers  would  be  back  home  in  a 
week  or  two. 

The  thing  made  a  big  stir  in  the  town,  too,  and  a 
good  many  come  out  flatfooted  and  said  it  was  scandal 
ous  to  separate  the  mother  and  the  children  that  way, 
It  injured  the  frauds  some ;  but  the  old  fool  he  bulled 
right  along,  spite  of  all  the  duke  could  say  or  do,  and 
I  tell  you  the  duke  was  powerful  uneasy. 

Next  day  was  auction  day.  About  broad  day  in  the 
morning  the  king  and  the  duke  come  up  in  the  garret 
and  woke  me  up,  and  I  see  by  their  look  that  there 
was  trouble.  The  king  says: 

"  Was  you  in  my  room  night  before  last?" 

"  No,  your  majesty  " —  which  was  the  way  I  always 
called  him  when  nobody  but  our  gang  warn't  around. 
1  Was  you  in  there  yisterday  er  last  night?" 

"  No,  your  majesty." 

"  Honor  bright,  now  —  no  lies." 

11  Honor  bright,  your  majesty,  I'm  telling  you  the 
truth.  I  hain't  been  a-near  your  room  since  Miss  Mary 
Jane  took  you  and  the  duke  and  showed  it  to  you." 

The  duke  says : 

16  Have  you  seen  anybody  else  go  in  there?" 

11  No,  your  grace,  not  as  I  remember,  I  believe." 
16 


242  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  Stop  and  think." 

I  studied  awhile  and  see  my  chance ;  then  I  says : 

"  Well,  I  see  the  niggers  go  in  there  several  times." 

Both  of  them  gave  a  little  jump,  and  looked  like 
they  hadn't  ever  expected  it,  and  then  like  they  had. 
Then  the  duke  says : 

"What,  allot  them?" 

"  No  —  leastways,  not  all  at  once  —  that  is,  I  don't 
think  I  ever  see  them  all  come  out  at  once  but  just  one 
time." 

44  Hello!     When  was  that?" 

"  It  was  the  day  we  had  the  funeral.  In  the  morn 
ing.  It  warn't  early,  because  I  overslept.  I  was  just 
starting  down  the  ladder,  and  I  see  them." 

"  Well,  go  on,  go  on  !  What  did  they  do?  How'd 
they  act?" 

"They  didn't  do  nothing.  And  they  didn't  act 
anyway  much,  as  fur  as  I  see.  They  tiptoed  away; 
so  I  seen,  easy  enough,  that  they'd  shoved  in  there  to 
do  up  your  majesty's  room,  or  something,  s'posing 
you  was  up;  and  found  you  warn't  up,  and  so  they 
was  hoping  to  slide  out  of  the  way  of  trouble  without 
waking  you  up,  if  they  hadn't  already  waked  you  up." 

"Great  guns,  this  is  a  go!"  says  the  king;  and 
both  of  them  looked  pretty  sick  and  tolerable  silly. 
They  stood  there  a-thinking  and  scratching  their  heads 
a  minute,  and  the  duke  he  bust  into  a  kind  of  a  little 
raspy  chuckle,  and  says : 

*  *  It  does  beat  all  how  neat  the  niggers  played  their 
hand.  They  let  on  to  be  sorry  they  was  going  out  of 
this  region !  And  I  believed  they  was  sorry,  and  so 
did  you,  and  so  did  everybody.  Don't  ever  tell  me 
any  more  that  a  nigger  ain't  got  any  histrionic  talent. 
Why,  the  way  they  played  that  thing  it  would  fool 
anybody.  In  my  opinion,  there's  a  fortune  in  'em.  If 
I  had  capital  and  a  theater,  I  wouldn't  want  a  better 


Huckleberry  Finn  243 

lay-out  than  that  —  and  here  we've  gone  and  sold  'em 
for  a  song.  Yes,  and  ain't  privileged  to  sing  the  song 
yet.  Say,  where  is  that  song  —  that  draft?" 

"  In  the  bank  for  to  be  collected.  Where  would  it 
be?" 

"  Well,  that's  all  right  then,  thank  goodness." 

Says  I,  kind  of  timid-like: 

"  Is  something  gone  wrong?" 

The  king  whirls  on  me  and  rips  out : 

"None  o'  your  business!  You  keep  your  head 
shet,  and  mind  y'r  own  affairs  —  if  you  got  any. 
Long  as  you're  in  this  town  don't  you  forgit  that  — 
you  hear?"  Then  he  says  to  the  duke,  "We  got  to 
jest  swaller  it  and  say  noth'n' :  mum's  the  word  for  us." 

As  they  was  starting  down  the  ladder  the  duke  he 
chuckles  again,  and  says : 

"  Quick  sales  and  small  profits!  It's  a  good  busi 
ness —  yes." 

The  king  snarls  around  on  him  and  says : 

"  I  was  trying  to  do  for  the  best  in  sellin'  'em  out 
so  quick.  If  the  profits  has  turned  out  to  be  none, 
lackin'  considable,  and  none  to  carry,  is  it  my  fault 
any  more'n  it's  yourn?" 

"  Well,  they'd  be  in  this  house  yet  and  we  wouldn't 
if  I  could  a  got  my  advice  listened  to." 

The  king  sassed  back  as  much  as  was  safe  for  him, 
and  then  swapped  around  and  lit  into  me  again.  He 
give  me  down  the  banks  for  not  coming  and  telling 
him  I  see  the  niggers  come  out  of  his  room  acting  that 
way  —  said  any  fool  would  a  knowed  something  was 
up.  And  then  waltzed  in  and  cussed  himself  awhile, 
and  said  it  all  come  of  him  not  laying  late  and  taking 
his  natural  rest  that  morning,  and  he'd  be  blamed  if  he'd 
ever  do  it  again.  So  they  went  off  a-jawing;  and  I 
felt  dreadful  glad  I'd  worked  it  all  off  on  to  the  niggers, 
and  yet  hadn't  done  the  niggers  no  harm  by  it. 


CHAPTER   XXVIII. 

BY  and  by  it  was  getting-up  time.  So  I  come  down 
the  ladder  and  started  for  down-stairs ;  but  as  I 
come  to  the  girls'  room  the  door  was  open,  and  I  see 
Mary  Jane  setting  by  her  old  hair  trunk,  which  was 
open  and  she'd  been  packing  things  in  it — getting 
ready  to  go  to  England.  But  she  had  stopped  now 
with  a  folded  gown  in  her  lap,  and  had  her  face  in  her 
hands,  crying.  I  felt  awful  bad  to  see  it;  of  course 
anybody  would.  I  went  in  there  and  says: 

"  Miss  Mary  Jane,  you  can't  a-bear  to  see  people 
in  trouble,  and  /  can't — most  always.  Tell  me 
about  it." 

So  she  done  it.  And  it  was  the  niggers  —  I  just 
expected  it.  She  said  the  beautiful  trip  to  England 
was  most  about  spoiled  for  her;  she  didn't  know  how 
she  was  ever  going  to  be  happy  there,  knowing  the 
mother  and  the  children  warn't  ever  going  to  see 
each  other  no  more  —  and  then  busted  out  bitterer 
than  ever,  and  flung  up  her  hands,  and  says: 

"  Oh,  dear,  dear,  to  think  they  ain't  ever  going  to 
see  each  other  any  more !" 

"  But  they  will- — and  inside  of  two  weeks — -and  I 
know  it!"  says  I. 

Laws,  it  was  out  before  I  could  think!  And  before 
I  could  budge  she  throws  her  arms  around  my  neck 
and  told  me  to  say  it  again,  say  it  again,  say  it  again  / 

I  see  I  had  spoke  too  sudden  and  said  too  much, 
and  was  in  a  close  place.  I  asked  her  to  let  me  think 

(244) 


Huckleberry  Finn  245 

a  minute;  and  she  set  there,  very  impatient  and  ex 
cited  and  handsome,  but  looking  kind  of  happy  and 
eased-up,  like  a  person  that's  had  a  tooth  pulled  out. 
So  I  went  to  studying  it  out.  I  says  to  myself,  I 
reckon  a  body  that  ups  and  tells  the  truth  when  he  is 
in  a  tight  place  is  taking  considerable  many  resks, 
though  I  ain't  had  no  experience,  and  can't  say  for 
certain;  but  it  looks  so  to  me,  anyway;  and  yet  here's 
a  case  where  I'm  blest  if  it  don't  look  to  me  like  the 
truth  is  better  and  actuly  safer  than  a  lie.  I  must  lay 
it  by  in  my  mind,  and  think  it  over  some  time  or 
other,  it's  so  kind  of  strange  and  unregular.  I  never 
see  nothing  like  it.  Well,  I  says  to  myself  at  last, 
I'm  a-going  to  chance  it;  I'll  up  and  tell  the  truth  this 
time,  though  it  does  seem  most  like  setting  down  on  a 
kag  of  powder  and  touching  it  off  just  to  see  where 
you'll  go  to.  Then  I  says: 

*'  Miss  Mary  Jane,  is  there  any  place  out  of  town  a 
little  ways  where  you  could  go  and  stay  three  or  four 
days?" 

'Yes;   Mr.  Lothrop's.     Why?" 
"  Never  mind  why  yet.      If    I'll  tell  you  how  I  know 
the   niggers   will   see  each  other  again  —  inside  of  two 
weeks  —  here   in   this   house  —  and  prove  how  I  know 
it  —  will  you  go  to  Mr.  Lothrop's  and  stay  four  days?" 
"Four  days!"   she  says;   "  I'll  stay  a  year !" 
"All   right,"    I  says,  "I  don't  want  nothing  more 
out  of  you  than  just  your  word  —  I  druther  have  it  than 
another  man's  kiss-the-Bible."     She  smiled  and   red 
dened  up  very  sweet,  and  I  says,  "  If  you  don't  mind 
it,  I'll  shut  the  door  —  and  bolt  it." 

Then  I  come  back  and  set  down  again,  and  says: 

'*  Don't  you  holler.     Just  set  still  and  take  it  like  a 

man.     I  got  to  tell  the  truth,  and  you  want  to  brace 

up,  Miss  Mary,  because  it's  a  bad  kind,  and  going  to 

be  hard  to  take,  but  there  ain't  no  help  for  it.     These 


246  Huckleberry  Finn 

uncles  of  yourn  ain't  no  uncles  at  all;  they're  a  couple 
of  frauds  —  regular  dead-beats.  There,  now  we're 
over  the  worst  of  it,  you  can  stand  the  rest  middling 
easy." 

It  jolted  her  up  like  everything,  of  course;  but  I 
was  over  the  shoal  water  now,  so  I  went  right  along, 
her  eyes  a-blazing  higher  and  higher  all  the  time,  and 
told  her  every  blame  thing,  from  where  we  first  struck 
that  young  fool  going  up  to  the  steamboat,  clear 
through  to  where  she  flung  herself  on  to  the  king's 
breast  at  the  front  door  and  he  kissed  her  sixteen  or 
seventeen  times  —  and  then  up  she  jumps,  with  her 
face  afire  like  sunset,  and  says : 

41  The  brute!  Come,  don't  waste  a  minute  —  not  a 
second — we'll  have  them  tarred  and  feathered,  and 
flung  in  the  river!" 

Says  I : 

"  Cert'nly.  But  do  you  mean  before  you  go  to  Mr. 
Lothrop's,  or — " 

"Oh,"  she  says,  "what  am  I  thinking  about!" 
she  says,  and  set  right  down  again.  "Don't  mind 
what  I  said  —  please  don't  —  you  won't,  now,  will 
you?"  Laying  her  silky  hand  on  mine  in  that  kind 
of  a  way  that  I  said  I  would  die  first.  "  I  never 
thought,  I  was  so  stirred  up,"  she  says;  "  now  go  on, 
and  I  won't  do  so  any  more.  You  tell  me  what  to  do, 
and  whatever  you  say  I'll  do  it." 

"Well,"  I  says,  "it's  a  rough  gang,  them  two 
frauds,  and  I'm  fixed  so  I  got  to  travel  with  them  a 
while  longer,  whether  I  want  to  or  not  —  I  druther  not 
tell  you  why ;  and  if  you  was  to  blow  on  them  this 
town  would  get  me  out  of  their  claws,  and  7'd  be  all 
right;  but  there'd  be  another  person  that  you  don't 
know  about  who'd  be  in  big  trouble.  Well,  we  got 
to  save  him,  hain't  we?  Of  course.  Well,  then,  we 
won't  blow  on  them." 


Huckleberry  Finn  247 

Saying  them  words  put  a  good  idea  in  my  head.  I 
see  how  maybe  I  could  get  me  and  Jim  rid  of  the 
frauds;  get  them  jailed  here,  and  then  leave.  But  I 
didn't  want  to  run  the  raft  in  the  daytime  without  any 
body  aboard  to  answer  questions  but  me;  so  I  didn't 
want  the  plan  to  begin  working  till  pretty  late  to-night. 
I  says : 

"Miss  Mary  Jane,  I'll  tell' you  what  we'll  do,  and 
you  won't  have  to  stay  at  Mr.  Lothrop's  so  long, 
nuther.  How  fur  is  it?" 

"A  little  short  of  four  miles — -right  out  in  the 
country,  back  here." 

"  Well,  that  '11  answer.  Now  you  go  along  out  there, 
and  lay  low  till  nine  or  half-past  to-night,  and  then  get 
them  to  fetch  you  home  again  —  tell  them  you've 
thought  of  something.-  If  you  get  here  before  eleven 
put  a  candle  in  this  window,  and  if  I  don't  turn  up 
wait  ////  eleven,  and  then  if  I  don't  turn  up  it  means 
I'm  gone,  and  out  of  the  way,  and  safe.  Then  you 
come  out  and  spread  the  news  around,  and  get  these 
beats  jailed." 

"Good,"  she  says,  •'I'll  do  it." 

"And  if  it  just  happens  so  that  I  don't  get  away, 
but  get  took  up  along  with  them,  you  must  up  and  say 
I  told  you  the  whole  thing  beforehand,  and  you  must 
stand  by  me  all  you  can." 

"  Stand  by  you  !  indeed  I  will.  They  sha'n't  touch 
a  hair  of  your  head  !"  she  says,  and  I  see  her  nostrils 
spread  and  her  eyes  snap  when  she  said  it,  too. 

"If  I  get  away  I  sha'n't  be  here,"  I  says,  "to 
prove  these  rapscallions  ain't  your  uncles,  and  I 
couldn't  do  it  if  I  was  here.  I  could  swear  they  was 
beats  and  bummers,  that's  all,  though  that's  worth 
something.  Well,  there's  others  can  do  that  better  than 
what  I  can,  and  they're  people  that  ain't  going  to  be 
doubted  as  quick  as  I'd  be.  I'll  tell  you  how  to  find 


248  Huckleberry  Finn 

them.  Gimme  a  pencil  and  a  piece  of  paper.  There 
—  ''Royal  Nonesuch,  Bricksville .'  Put  it  away,  and 
don't  lose  it.  When  the  court  wants  to  find  out  some 
thing  about  these  two,  let  them  send  up  to  Bricksville 
and  say  they've  got  the  men  that  played  the  Royal 
Nonesuch,  and  ask  for  some  witnesses  —  why,  you'll 
have  that  entire  town  down  here  before  you  can  hardly 
wink,  Miss  Mary.  And  they'll  come  a-biling,  too." 

I  judged  we  had  got  everything  fixed  about  right 
now.  So  I  says  : 

"Just  let  the  auction  go  right  along,  and  don't 
worry.  Nobody  don't  have  to  pay  for  the  things  they 
buy  till  a  whole  day  after  the  auction  on  accounts  of 
the  short  notice,  and  they  ain't  going  out  of  this  till 
they  get  that  money;  and  the  way  we've  fixed  it  the 
sale  ain't  going  to  count,  and  they  ain't  going  to  get 
no  money.  It's  just  like  the  way  it  was  with  the 
niggers  —  it  warn't  no  sale,  and  the  niggers  will  be 
back  before  long.  Why,  they  can't  collect  the  money 
for  the  niggers  yet  —  they're  in  the  worst  kind  of  a 
fix,  Miss  Mary." 

"  WTell,"  she  says,  "I'll  run  down  to  breakfast  now, 
and  then  I'll  start  straight  for  Mr.  Lothrop's." 

"  'Deed,  that  ain't  the  ticket,  Miss  Mary  Jane,"  I 
says,  "  by  no  manner  of  means;  go  before  breakfast." 

"Why?" 

"What  did  you  reckon  I  wanted  you  to  go  at  all 
for,  Miss  Mary?" 

"Well,  I  never  thought  —  and  come  to  think,  I 
don't  know.  What  was  it?" 

"Why,  it's  because  you  ain't  one  of  these  leather- 
face  people.  I  don't  want  no  better  book  than  what 
your  face  is.  A  body  can  set  down  and  read  it  off 
like  coarse  print.  Do  you  reckon  you  can  go  and 
face  your  uncles  when  they  come  to  kiss  you  good- 
morning,  and  never — " 


Huckleberry  Finn  249 

"There,  there,  don't!  Yes,  I'll  go  before  break 
fast —  I'll  be  glad  to.  And  leave  my  sisters  with 
them?" 

"Yes;  never  mind  about  them.  They've  got  to 
stand  it  yet  a  while.  They  might  suspicion  something 
if  all  of  you  was  to  go.  I  don't  want  you  to  see  them, 
nor  your  sisters,  nor  nobody  in  this  town;  if  a  neigh 
bor  was  to  ask  how  is  your  uncles  this  morning  your 
face  would  tell  something.  No,  you  go  right  along, 
Miss  Mary  Jane,  and  I'll  fix  it  with  all  of  them.  I'll 
tell  Miss  Susan  to  give  your  love  to  your  uncles  and 
say  you've  went  away  for  a  few  hours  for  to  get  a 
little  rest  and  change,  or  to  see  a  friend,  and  you'll  be 
back  to-night  or  early  in  the  morning." 

"  Gone  to  see  a  friend  is  all  right,  but  I  won't  have 
my  love  given  to  them." 

"  Well,  then,  it  sha'n't  be."  It  was  well  enough  to 
tell  her  so  —  no  harm  in  it.  It  was  only  a  little  thing 
to  do,  and  no  trouble;  and  it's  the  little  things  that 
smooths  people's  roads  the  most,  down  here  below;  it 
would  make  Mary  Jane  comfortable,  and  it  wouldn't 
cost  nothing.  Then  I  says:  '  There's  one  more  thing 
— -that  bag  of  money." 

"Well,  they've  got  that;  and  it  makes  me  feel 
pretty  silly  to  think  how  they  got  it." 

"  No,  you're  out,  there.     They  hain't  got  it." 

"Why,  who's  got  it?" 

11 1  wish  I  knowed,  but  I  don't.  I  had  it,  because  I 
stole  it  from  them ;  and  I  stole  it  to  give  to  you ;  and 
I  know  where  I  hid  it,  but  I'm  afraid  it  ain't  there  no 
more.  I'm  awful  sorry,  Miss  Mary  Jane,  I'm  just  as 
sorry  as  I  can  be ;  but  I  done  the  best  I  could ;  I  did 
honest.  I  come  nigh  getting  caught,  and  I  had  to 
shove  it  into  the  first  place  I  come  to,  and  run  —  and 
it  warn't  a  good  place." 

"  Oh,  stop  blaming  yourself  —  it's  too  bad  to  do  it, 


250  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  I  won't  allow  it  —  you  couldn't  help  it;  it  wasn't 
your  fault.  Where  did  you  hide  it?" 

I  didn't  want  to  set  her  to  thinking  about  her 
troubles  again;  and  I  couldn't  seem  to  get  rny  mouth 
to  tell  her  what  would  make  her  see  that  corpse  laying 
in  the  coffin  with  that  bag  of  money  on  his  stomach. 
So  for  a  minute  I  didn't  say  nothing;  then  I  says: 

"I'd  ruther  not  tell  you  where  I  put  it,  Miss  Mary 
Jane,  if  you  don't  mind  letting  me  off;  but  I'll  write  it 
for  you  on  a  piece  of  paper,  and  you  can  read  it  along 
the  road  to  Mr.  Lothrop's,  if  you  want  to.  Do  you 
reckon  that  '11  do?" 

44  Oh,  yes." 

So  I  wrote:  '  "  I  put  it  in  the  coffin.  It  was  in 
there  when  you  was  crying  there,  away  in  the  night. 
I  was  behind  the  door,  and  I  was  mighty  sorry  for 
you,  Miss  Mary  Jane." 

It  made  my  eyes  water  a  little  to  remember  her  cry 
ing  there  all  by  herself  in  the  night,  and  them  devils 
laying  there  right  under  her  own  roof,  shaming  her 
and  robbing  her;  and  when  I  folded  it  up  and  give  it 
to  her  I  see  the  water  come  into  her  eyes,  too ;  and 
she  shook  me  by  the  hand,  hard,  and  says: 

"£<?0^-bye.  I'm  going  to  do  everything  just  as 
you've  told  me;  and  if  I  don't  ever  see  you  again,  I 
sha'n't  ever  forget  you,  and  I'll  think  of  you  a  many 
and  a  many  a  time,  and  I'll  pray  for  you,  too  !"— -and 
she  was  gone. 

Pray  for  me !  I  reckoned  if  she  knowed  me  she'd 
take  a  job  that  was  more  nearer  her  size.  But  I  bet 
she  done  it,  just  the  same  —  she  was  just  that  kind. 
She  had  the  grit  to  pray  for  Judus  if  she  took  the 
notion  —  there  warn't  no  back-down  to  her,  I  judge. 
You  may  say  what  you  want  to,  but  in  my  opinion 
she  had  more  sand  in  her  than  any  girl  I  ever  see ;  in 
my  opinion  she  was  just  full  of  sand.  It  sounds  like 


Huckleberry  Finn  251 

flattery,  but  it  ain't  no  flattery.  And  when  it  comes 
to  beauty  —  and  goodness,  too  —  she  lays  over  them 
all.  I  hain't  ever  seen  her  since  that  time  that  I  see 
her  go  out  of  that  door;  no,  I  hain't  ever  seen  her 
since,  but  I  reckon  I've  thought  of  her  a  many  and  a 
many  a  million  times,  and  of  her  saying  she  would 
pray  for  me;  and  if  ever  I'd  a  thought  it  would  do 
any  good  for  me  to  pray  for  her,  blamed  if  I  wouldn't 
a  done  it  or  bust. 

Well,  Mary  Jane  she  lit  out  the  back  way,  I  reckon; 
because  nobody  see  her  go.  When  I  struck  Susan 
and  the  hare-lip,  I  says: 

"What's  the  name  of  them  people  over  on  t'other 
side  of  the  river  that  you  all  goes  to  see  sometimes?'* 
They  says : 

'There's  several;  but  it's  the  Proctors,  mainly. " 

'That's  the  name,"  I  says;  "I  most  forgot  it. 
Well,  Miss  Mary  Jane  she  told  me  to  tell  you  she's 
gone  over  there  in  a  dreadful  hurry  —  one  of  them's 
sick." 

"  Which  one?" 

"I  don't  know;  leastways,  I  kinder  forget;  but  I 
thinks  it's—" 

"  Sakes  alive,  I  hope  it  ain't  Hanner?" 

"I'm  sorry  to  say  it,"  I  says,  "  but  Hanner's  the 
very  one." 

"  My  goodness,  and  she  so  well  only  last  week!  Is 
she  took  bad?" 

"  It  ain't  no  name  for  it.  They  set  up  with  her  all 
night,  Miss  Mary  Jane  said,  and  they  don't  think  she'll 
last  many  hours." 

"  Only  think  of  that,  now!  What's  the  matter  with 
her?" 

I  couldn't  think  of  anything  reasonable,  right  off 
that  way,  so  I  says : 

"Mumps." 


252  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  Mumps  your  granny!  They  don't  set  up  with 
people  that's  got  the  mumps." 

"  They  don't,  don't  they?  You  better  bet  they  do 
with  these  mumps.  These  mumps  is  different.  It's  a 
new  kind,  Miss  Mary  Jane  said." 

"  How's  it  a  new  kind?" 

'*  Because  it's  mixed  up  with  other  things." 

14  What  other  things?" 

'  Well,  measles,  and  whooping-cough,  and  erysiplas, 
and  consumption,  and  yaller  janders,  and  brain-fever, 
and  I  don't  know  what  all." 

"  My  land  !     And  they  call  it  the  mumps  ?  " 
'  That's  what  Miss  Mary  Jane  said." 

"  Well,  what  in  the  nation  do  they  call  it  the  mumps 
for?" 

4<Why,  because  it  is  the  mumps.  That's  what  it 
starts  with." 

"Well,  ther'  ain't  no  sense  in  it.  A  body  might 
stump  his  toe,  and  take  pison,  and  fall  down  the  well, 
and  break  his  neck,  and  bust  his  brains  out,  and  some 
body  come  along  and  ask  what  killed  him,  and  some 
numskull  up  and  say,  *  Why,  he  stumped  his  toe.' 
Would  ther'  be  any  sense  in  that?  No.  And  ther' 
ain't  no  sense  in  this,  nuther.  Is  it  ketching?" 

54  Is  it  ketching?  Why,  how  you  talk.  Is  a  harrow 
catching  —  in  the  dark?  If  you  don't  hitch  on  to  one 
tooth,  you're  bound  to  on  another,  ain't  you?  And 
you  can't  get  away  with  that  tooth  without  fetching 
the  whole  harrow  along,  can  you?  Well,  these  kind 
of  mumps  is  a  kind  of  a  harrow,  as  you  may  say — and 
it  ain't  no  slouch  of  a  harrow,  nuther,  you  come  to 
get  it  hitched  on  good." 

"Well,  it's  awful,  /  think,"  says  the  hare-lip. 
11  I'll  go  to  Uncle  Harvey  and—" 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  says,  "  I  would.  Of  course  I  would. 
I  wouldn't  lose  no  time." 


Huckleberry  Finn  253 

"Well,  why  wouldn't  you?" 

"Just  look  at  it  a  minute,  and  maybe  you  can  see. 
Hain't  your  uncles  obleegd  to  get  along  home  to  Eng 
land  as  fast  as  they  can?  And  do  you  reckon  they'd 
be  mean  enough  to  go  off  and  leave  you  to  go  all  that 
journey  by  yourselves?  You  know  they'll  wait  for 
you.  So  fur,  so  good.  Your  uncle  Harvey's  a 
preacher,  ain't  he?  Very  well,  then;  is  a  preacher 
going  to  deceive  a  steamboat  clerk?  is  he  going  to 
deceive  a  ship  clerk  ?  —  so  as  to  get  them  to  let  Miss 
Mary  Jane  go  aboard?  Now  you  know  he  ain't. 
What  will  he  do,  then?  Why,  he'll  say,  '  It's  a  great 
pity,  but  my  church  matters  has  got  to  get  along  the 
best  way  they  can ;  for  my  niece  has  been  exposed  to 
the  dreadful  pluribus-unum  mumps,  and  so  it's  my 
bounden  duty  to  set  down  here  and  wait  the  three 
months  it  takes  to  show  on  her  if  she's  got  it.'  But 
never  mind,  if  you  think  it's  best  to  tell  your  uncle 
Harvey—" 

"  Shucks,  and  stay  fooling  around  here  when  we 
could  all  be  having  good  times  in  England  whilst  we 
was  waiting  to  find  out  whether  Mary  Jane's  got  it  or 
not?  Why,  you  talk  like  a  muggins." 

"Well,  anyway,  maybe  you'd  better  tell  some  of 
the  neighbors." 

"  Listen  at  that,  now.  You  do  beat  all  for  natural 
stupidness.  Can't  you  see  that  they* d  go  and  tell? 
Ther'  ain't  no  way  but  just  to  not  tell  anybody  at  all." 

"Well,  maybe  you're  right  —  yes,  I  judge  you  are 
right." 

"  But  I  reckon  we  ought  to  tell  Uncle  Harvey  she's 
gone  out  a  while,  anyway,  so  he  won't  be  uneasy 
about  her?" 

4  Yes,  Miss  Mary  Jane  she  wanted  you  to  do  that. 
She  says,  '  Tell  them  to  give  Uncle  Harvey  and 
William  my  love  and  a  kiss,  and  say  I've  run  over  the 


254  Huckleberry  Finn 

river  to  see  Mr.' — Mr. —  what  is  the  name  of  that 
rich  family  your  uncle  Peter  used  to  think  so  much 
of? — I  mean  the  one  that — " 

"  Why,  you  must  mean  the  Apthorps,  ain't  it?" 

"Of  course;  bother  them  kind  of  names,  a  body 
can't  ever  seem  to  remember  them,  half  the  time, 
somehow.  Yes,  she  said,  say  she  has  run  over  for  to 
ask  the  Apthorps  to  be  sure  and  come  to  the  auction 
and  buy  this  house,  because  she  allowed  her  uncle 
Peter  would  ruther  they  had  it  than  anybody  else ; 
and  she's  going  to  stick  to  them  till  they  say  they'll 
come,  and  then,  if  she  ain't  too  tired,  she's  coming 
home;  and  if  she  is,  she'll  be  home  in  the  morning 
anyway.  She  said,  don't  say  nothing  about  the  Proc 
tors,  but  only  about  the  Apthorps  —  which  '11  be  per 
fectly  true,  because  she  is  going  there  to  speak  about 
their  buying  the  house ;  I  know  it,  because  she  told 
me  so  herself." 

"All  right,"  they  said,  and  cleared  out  to  lay  for 
their  uncles,  and  give  them  the  love  and  the  kisses, 
and  tell  them  the  message. 

Everything  was  all  right  now.  The  girls  wouldn't 
say  nothing  because  they  wanted  to  go  to  England ; 
and  the  king  and  the  duke  would  ruther  Mary  Jane  was 
off  working  for  the  auction  than  around  in  reach  of 
Doctor  Robinson.  I  felt  very  good ;  I  judged  I  had 
done  it  pretty  neat — I  reckoned  Tom  Sawyer  couldn't 
a  done  it  no  neater  himself.  Of  course  he  would  a 
throwed  more  style  into  it,  but  I  can't  do  that  very 
handy,  not  being  brung  up  to  it. 

Wei),  they  held  the  auction  in  the  public  square, 
along  towards  the  end  of  the  afternoon,  and  it  strung 
along,  and  strung  along,  and  the  old  man  he  was  on 
hand  and  looking  his  level  pisonest,  up  there  longside 
of  the  auctioneer,  and  chipping  in  a  little  Scripture 
now  and  then,  or  a  little  goody-goody  saying  of  some 


Huckleberry  Finn  255 

kind,  and  the  duke  he  was  around  goo-gooing  for  sym 
pathy  all  he  knowed  how,  and  just  spreading  himself 
generly. 

But  by  and  by  the  thing  dragged  through,  and 
everything  was  sold  —  everything  but  a  little  old  trifling 
lot  in  the  graveyard.  So  they'd  got  to  work  that  off 
—  I  never  see  such  a  girafft  as  the  king  was  for  want 
ing  to  swallow  everything.  Well,  whilst  they  was  at  it 
a  steamboat  landed,  and  in  about  two  minutes  up 
comes  a  crowd  a-whooping  and  yelling  and  laughing 
and  carrying  on,  and  singing  out: 

"Here's  your  opposition  line!  here's  your  two  sets 
o'  heirs  to  old  Peter  Wilks  —  and  you  pays  your 
money  and  you  takes  your  choice!" 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

THEY  was  fetching  a  very  nice-looking  old  gentle 
man  along,  and  a  nice-looking  younger  one,  with 
his  right  arm  in  a  sling.  And,  my  souls,  how  the 
people  yelled  and  laughed,  and  kept  it  up.  But  I  didn't 
see  no  joke  about  it,  and  I  judged  it  would  strain  the 
duke  and  the  king  some  to  see  any.  I  reckoned 
they'd  turn  pale.  But  no,  nary  a  pale  did  they  turn. 
The  duke  he  never  let  on  he  suspicioned  what  was 
up,  but  just  went  a  goo-gooing  around,  happy  and 
satisfied,  like  a  jug  that's  googling  out  buttermilk; 
and  as  for  the  king,  he  just  gazed  and  gazed  down 
sorrowful  on  them  new-comers  like  it  give  him  the 
stomach-ache  in  his  very  heart  to  think  there  could  be 
such  frauds  and  rascals  in  the  world.  Oh,  he  done  it 
admirable.  Lots  of  the  principal  people  gethered 
around  the  king,  to  let  him  see  they  was  on  his  side. 
That  old  gentleman  that  had  just  come  looked  all  puz 
zled  to  death.  Pretty  soon  he  begun  to  speak,  and  I 
see  straight  off  he  pronounced  like  an  Englishman  — 
not  the  king's  way,  though  the  king's  was  pretty  good 
for  an  imitation.  I  can't  give  the  old  gent's  words, 
nor  I  can't  imitate  him ;  but  he  turned  around  to  the 
crowd,  and  says,  about  like  this: 

'This  is  a  surprise  to  me  which  I  wasn't  looking 
for;  and  I'll  acknowledge,  candid  and  frank,  I  ain't 
very  well  fixed  to  meet  it  and  answer  it;  for  my 
brother  and  me  has  had  misfortunes;  he's  broke  his 

(256) 


Huckleberry  Finn  257 

arm,  and  our  baggage  got  put  off  at  a  town  above  here 
last  night  in  the  night  by  a  mistake.  I  am  Peter 
Wilks'  brother  Harvey,  and  this  is  his  brother  William, 
which  can't  hear  nor  speak — and  can't  even  make 
signs  to  amount  to  much,  now't  he's  only  got  one 
hand  to  work  them  with.  We  are  who  we  say  we  are; 
and  in  a  day  or  two,  when  I  get  the  baggage,  I  can 
prove  it.  But  up  till  then  I  won't  say  nothing  more, 
but  go  to  the  hotel  and  wait." 

So  him  and  the  new  dummy  started  off ;  and  the  king 
he  laughs,  and  blethers  out: 

"  Broke  his  arm  —  very  likely,  ain't  it? — and  very 
convenient,  too,  for  a  fraud  that's  got  to  make  signs, 
and  ain't  learnt  how.  Lost  their  baggage!  That's 
mighty  good  ! —  and  mighty  ingenious  —  under  the 
circumstances  /' ' 

So  he  laughed  again ;  and  so  did  everybody  else, 
except  three  or  four,  or  maybe  half  a  dozen.  One  of 
these  was  that  doctor;  another  one  was  a  sharp- 
looking  gentleman,  with  a  carpet-bag  of  the  old- 
fashioned  kind  made  out  of  carpet-stuff,  that  had  just 
come  off  of  the  steamboat  and  was  talking  to  him  in  a 
low  voice,  and  glancing  towards  the  king  now  and  then 
and  nodding  their  heads  —  it  was  Levi  Bell,  the  lawyer 
that  was  gone  up  to  Louisville;  and  another  one  was 
a  big  rough  husky  that  come  along  and  listened  to 
all  the  old  gentleman  said,  and  was  listening  to  the 
king  now.  And  when  the  king  got  done  this  husky 
up  and  says : 

'*  Say,  looky  here ;  if  you  are  Harvey  Wilks,  when'd 
you  come  to  this  town?" 

"  The  day  before  the  funeral,  friend,"  says  the  king. 

'*  But  what  time  o'  play?" 

"  In  the  evenin' —  'bout  an  hour  er  two  before  sun 
down." 

41 How' 'd you  come?" 
17 


258  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  I  come  down  on  the  Susan  Powell  from  Cincin 
nati." 

"Well,  then,  how'd  you  come  to  be  up  at  the  Pint 
in  the  mornin' — in  a  canoe?" 

"  I  warn't  up  at  the  Pint  in  the  morninV 

"It's  a  lie." 

Several  of  them  jumped  for  him  and  begged  him  not 
to  talk  that  way  to  an  old  man  and  a  preacher. 

"  Preacher  be  hanged,  he's  a  fraud  and  a  liar.  He 
was  up  at  the  Pint  that  mornin'.  I  live  up  there,  don't 
I?  Well,  I  was  up  there,  and  he  was  up  there.  I  see 
him  there.  He  come  in  a  canoe,  along  with  Tim 
Collins  and  a  boy." 

The  doctor  he  up  and  says : 

* '  Would  you  know  the  boy  again  if  you  was  to  see 
him,  Hines?" 

"I  reckon  I  would,  but  I  don't  know.  Why, 
yonder  he  is,  now.  I  know  him  perfectly  easy." 

It  was  me  he  pointed  at.     The  doctor  says : 

"  Neighbors,  I  don't  know  whether  the  new  couple 
is  frauds  or  not;  but  if  these  two  ain't  frauds,  I  am  an 
idiot,  that's  all.  I  think  it's  our  duty  to  see  that  they 
don't  get  away  from  here  till  we've  looked  into  this 
thing.  Come  along,  Hines;  come  along,  the  rest  of 
you.  We'll  take  these  fellows  to  the  tavern  and 
affront  them  with  t'other  couple,  and  I  reckon  we'll 
find  out  something  before  we  get  through." 

It  was  nuts  for  the  crowd,  though  maybe  not  for 
the  king's  friends;  so  we  all  started.  It  was  about 
sundown.  The  doctor  he  led  me  along  by  the  hand, 
and  was  plenty  kind  enough,  but  he  never  let  go  my 
hand. 

We  all  got  in  a  big  room  in  the  hotel,  and  lit  up 
some  candles,  and  fetched  in  the  new  couple.  First, 
the  doctor  says : 

"  I  4pn't  wish  to  be  too  hard  on  these  two  men,  but 


Huckleberry  Finn  259 

7  think  they're  frauds,  and  they  may  have  complices 
that  we  don't  know  nothing  about.  If  they  have, 
won't  the  complices  get  away  with  that  bag  of  gold 
Peter  Wilks  left?  It  ain't  unlikely.  If  these  men 
ain't  frauds,  they  won't  object  to  sending  for  that 
money  and  letting  us  keep  it  till  they  prove  they're 
all  right  —  ain't  that  so?" 

Everybody  agreed  to  that.  So  I  judged  they  had 
our  gang  in  a  pretty  tight  place  right  at  the  outstart. 
But  the  king  he  only  looked  sorrowful,  and  says: 

"  Gentlemen,  I  wish  the  money  was  there,  for  I 
ain't  got  no  disposition  to  throw  anything  in  the  way 
of  a  fair,  open,  out-and-out  investigation  o'  this 
misable  business;  but,  alas,  the  money  ain't  there; 
you  k'n  send  and  see,  if  you  want  to." 

"Where  is  it,  then?" 

"  Well,  when  my  niece  give  it  to  me  to  keep  for  her 
I  took  and  hid  it  inside  o'  the  straw  tick  o'  my  bed, 
not  wishin'  to  bank  it  for  the  few  days  we'd  be  here, 
and  considerin'  the  bed  a  safe  place,  we  not  bein'  used 
to  niggers,  and  suppos'n'  'em  honest,  like  servants  in 
England.  The  niggers  stole  it  the  very  next  mornin' 
after  I  had  went  down  stairs;  and  when  I  sold  'em  I 
hadn't  missed  the  money  yit,  so  they  got  clean  away 
with  it.  My  servant  here  k'n  tell  you  'bout  it,  gentle 
men." 

The  doctor  and  several  said  ' '  Shucks ! ' '  and  I  see 
nobody  didn't  altogether  believe  him.  One  man  asked 
me  if  I  see  the  niggers  steal  it.  I  said  no,  but  I  see 
them  sneaking  out  of  the  room  and  hustling  away,  and 
I  never  thought  nothing,  only  I  reckoned  they  was 
afraid  they  had  waked  up  my  master  and  was  trying  to 
get  away  before  he  made  trouble  with  them.  That 
was  all  they  asked  me.  Then  the  doctor  whirls  on  me 
and  says: 

English,  too?'1 


260  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  says  yes;  and  him  and  some  others  laughed,  and 
said,  "Stuff!" 

Well,  then  they  sailed  in  on  the  general  investiga 
tion,  and  there  we  had  it,  up  and  down,  hour  in,  hour 
out,  and  nobody  never  said  a  word  about  supper,  nor 
ever  seemed  to  think  about  it  —  and  so  they  kept  it 
up,  and  kept  it  up ;  and  it  was  the  worst  mixed-up 
thing  you  ever  see.  They  made  the  king  tell  his  yarn, 
and  they  made  the  old  gentleman  tell  his'n;  and  any 
body  but  a  lot  of  prejudiced  chuckleheads  would  a  seen 
that  the  old  gentleman  was  spinning  truth  and  t'other 
one  lies.  And  by  and  by  they  had  me  up  to  tell  what 
I  knowed.  The  king  he  give  me  a  left-handed  look 
out  of  the  corner  of  his  eye,  and  so  I  knowed  enough 
to  talk  on  the  right  side.  I  begun  to  tell  about 
Sheffield,  and  how  we  lived  there,  and  all  about  the 
English  Wilkses,  and  so  on;  but  I  didn't  get  pretty 
fur  till  the  doctor  begun  to  laugh ;  and  Levi  Bell,  the 
lawyer,  says: 

"  Set  down,  my  boy;  I  wouldn't  strain  myself  if  I 
was  you.  I  reckon  you  ain't  used  to  lying,  it  don't 
seem  to  come  handy;  what  you  want  is  practice.  You 
do  it  pretty  awkward." 

I  didn't  care  nothing  for  the  compliment,  but  I  was 
glad  to  be  let  off,  anyway. 

The  doctor  he  started  to  say  something,  and  turns 
and  says: 

II  If  you'd  been  in  town  at  first,  Levi  Bell — " 

The  king  broke  in  arid  reached  out  his  hand,  and 
says: 

"Why,  is  this  my  poor  dead  brother's  old  friend 
that  he's  wrote  so  often  about?" 

The  lawyer  and  him  shook  hands,  and  the  lawyer 
smiled  and  looked  pleased,  and  they  talked  right  along 
awhile,  and  then  got  to  one  side  and  talked  low ;  and 
at  last  the  lawyer  speaks  up  and  says : 


Huckleberry  Finn  26l 


•  i 


That  '11  fix  it.  I'll  take  the  order  and  send  it, 
along  with  your  brother's,  and  then  they'll  know  it's 
all  right." 

So  they  got  some  paper  and  a  pen,  and  the  king  he 
set  down  and  twisted  his  head  to  one  side,  and  chawed 
his  tongue,  and  scrawled  off  something;  and  then  they 
give  the  pen  to  the  duke  —  and  then  for  the  first  time 
the  duke  looked  sick.  But  he  took  the  pen  and  wrote. 
So  then  the  lawyer  turns  to  the  new  old  gentleman  and 
says: 

*  You  and  your  brother  please  write  a  line  or  two 
and  sign  your  names." 

The  old  gentleman  wrote,  but  nobody  couldn't  read 
it.  The  lawyer  looked  powerful  astonished,  and  says: 

11  Well,  it  beats  me —  and  snaked  a  lot  of  old  letters 
out  of  his  pocket,  and  examined  them,  and  then  ex 
amined  the  old  man's  writing,  and  then  them  again; 
and  then  says :  ' '  These  old  letters  is.  from  Harvey 
Wilks;  and  here's  these  two  handwritings,  and  any 
body  can  see  fftey  didn't  write  them"  (the  king  and 
the  duke  looked  sold  and  foolish,  I  tell  you,  to  see 
how  the  lawyer  had  took  them  in),  "  and  here's  this  old 
gentleman's  hand  writing,  and  anybody  can  tell,  easy 
enough,  he  didn't  write  them  —  fact  is,  the  scratches 
he  makes  ain't  properly  writing  at  all.  Now,  here's 
some  letters  from — " 

The  new  old  gentleman  says : 

"If  you  please,  let  me  explain.  Nobody  can  read 
my  hand  but  my  brother  there  —  so  he  copies  for  me. 
It's  his  hand  you've  got  there,  not  mine." 

"  Well!"  says  the  lawyer,  "this  is  a  state  of 
things.  I've  got  some  of  William's  letters,  too;  so  if 
you'll  get  him  to  write  a  line  or  so  we  can  com — " 

'*  He  can't  write  with  his  left  hand,"  says  the  old 
gentleman.  "If  he  could  use  his  right  hand,  you 
would  see  that  he  wrote  his  own  letters  and  mine 


262  Huckleberry  Finn 

too.  Look  at  both,  please-— they're  by  the  same 
hand." 

The  lawyer  done  it,  and  says : 

"  I  believe  it's  so  —  and  if  it  ain't  so,  there's  a  heap 
stronger  resemblance  than  I'd  noticed  before,  anyway. 
Well,  well,  well !  I  thought  we  was  right  on  the  track 
of  a  slution,  but  it's  gone  to  grass,  partly.  But  any 
way,  one  thing  is  proved  —  these  two  ain't  either  of 
'em  Wilkses  " — and  he  wagged  his  head  towards  the 
king  and  the  duke. 

Well,  what  do  you  think?  That  muleheaded  old 
fool  wouldn't  give  in  then  !  Indeed  he  wouldn't. 
Said  it  warn't  no  fair  test.  Said  his  brother  William 
was  the  cussedest  joker  in  the  world,  and  hadn't  tried 
to  write  —  he  see  William  was  going  to  play  one  of  his 
jokes  the  minute  he  put  the  pen  to  paper.  And  so  he 
warmed  up  and  went  warbling  right  along  till  he  was 
actuly  beginning  to  believe  what  he  was  saying  him 
self ;  but  pretty  soon  the  new  gentleman  broke  in,  and 
says: 

"I've  thought  of  something.  Is  there  anybody 
here  that  helped  to  lay  out  my  br  —  helped  to  lay  out 
the  late  Peter  Wilks  for  burying?" 

"  Yes,"  says  somebody,  "  me  and  Ab  Turner  done 
it.  We're  both  here." 

Then  the  old  man  turns  towards  the  king,  and 
says: 

"  Peraps  this  gentleman  can  tell  me  what  was 
tattooed  on  his  breast?" 

Blamed  if  the  king  didn't  have  to  brace  up  mighty 
quick,  or  he'd  a  squshed  down  like  a  bluff  bank  that 
the  river  has  cut  under,  it  took  him  so  sudden;  and, 
mind  you,  it  was  a  thing  that  was  calculated  to  make 
most  anybody  sqush  to  get  fetched  such  a  solid  one  as 
that  without  any  notice,  because  how  was  he  going  to 
know  what  was  tattooed  on  the  man?  He  whitened  a 


Huckleberry  Finn  263 

little;  he  couldn't  help  it;  and  it  was  mighty  still  in 
there,  and  everybody  bending  a  little  forwards  and 
gazing  at  him.  Says  I  to  myself,  Now  he'll  throw  up 
the  sponge  —  there  ain't  no  more  use.  Well,  did  he? 
A  body  can't  hardly  believe  it,  but  he  didn't.  I 
reckon  he  thought  he'd  keep  the  thing  up  till  he  tired 
them  people  out,  so  they'd  thin  out,  and  him  and  the 
duke  could  break  loose  and  get  away.  Anyway,  he 
set  there,  and  pretty  soon  he  begun  to  smile,  and  says : 

"Mf!  It's  a  very  tough  question,  ain't  it!  Yes, 
sir,  I  k'n  tell  you  what's  tattooed  on  his  breast.  It's 
jest  a  small,  thin,  blue  arrow  —  that's  what  it  is;  and 
if  you  don't  look  clost,  you  can't  see  it.  Now  what 
do  you  say  —  hey?" 

Well,  /never  see  anything  like  that  old  blister  for 
clean  out-and-out  cheek. 

The  new  old  gentleman  turns  brisk  towards  Ab 
Turner  and  his  pard,  and  his  eye  lights  up  like  he 
judged  he'd  got  the  king  this  time,  and  says: 

'There  —  you've  heard  what  he  said!     Was  there 
any  such  mark  on  Peter  Wilks'  breast?" 

Both  of  them  spoke  up  and  says : 

"  We  didn't  see  no  such  mark." 

"Good!"  says  the  old  gentleman.  "Now,  what 
you  did  see  on  his  breast  was  a  small  dim  P,  and  a  B 
(which  is  an  initial  he  dropped  when  he  was  young) , 
and  a  W,  with  dashes  between  them,  so:  P — B  — 
W" — and  he  marked  them  that  way  on  a  piece  of 
paper.  "  Come,  ain't  that  what  you  saw?" 

Both  of  them  spoke  up  again,  and  says: 

"  No,  we  didn't.     We  never  seen  any  marks  at  all." 

Well,  everybody  was  in  a  state  of  mind  now,  and 
they  sings  out: 

"The  whole  bilin*  of  'm  's  frauds!  Le's  duck 
'em!  le's  drown  'em!  le's  ride  'em  on  a  rail!"  and 
everybody  was  whooping  at  once,  and  there  was  a  rat- 


264  Huckleberry  Finn 

tling  powwow.  But  the  lawyer  he  jumps  on  the  table 
and  yells,  and  says : 

'*  Gentlemen  —  gentlemen  !  Hear  me  just  a  word  — 
just  a  single  word  —  if  you  PLEASE!  There's  one  way 
yet  —  let's  go  and  dig  up  the  corpse  and  look." 

That  took  them. 

"  Hooray !"  they  all  shouted,  and  was  starting  right 
off;  but  the  lawyer  and  the  doctor  sung  out: 

"  Hold  on,  hold  on !  Collar  all  these  four  men  and 
the  boy,  and  fetch  them  along,  too!" 

"  We'll  do  it!"  they  all  shouted;  "  and  if  we  don't 
find  them  marks  we'll  lynch  the  whole  gang!" 

I  was  scared,  now,  I  tell  you.  But  there  warn't  no 
getting  away,  you  know.  They  gripped  us  all,  and 
marched  us  right  along,  straight  for  the  graveyard, 
which  was  a  mile  and  a  half  down  the  river,  and  the 
whole  town  at  our  heels,  for  we  made  noise  enough, 
and  it  was  only  nine  in  the  evening. 

As  we  went  by  our  house  I  wished  I  hadn't  sent 
Mary  Jane  out  of  town ;  because  now  if  I  could  tip  her 
the  wink  she'd  light  out  and  save  me,  and  blow  on  our 
dead-beats. 

Well,  we  swarmed  along  down  the  river  road,  just 
carrying  on  like  wildcats ;  and  to  make  it  more  scary 
the  sky  was  darking  up,  and  the  lightning  beginning  to 
wink  and  flitter,  and  the  wind  to  shiver  amongst  the 
leaves.  This  was  the  most  awful  trouble  and  most 
dangersome  I  ever  was  in ;  and  I  was  kinder  stunned ; 
everything  was  going  so  different  from  what  I  had 
allowed  for ;  stead  of  being  fixed  so  I  could  take  my 
own  time  if  I  wanted  to,  and  see  all  the  fun,  and  have 
Mary  Jane  at  my  back  to  save  me  and  set  me  free 
when  the  close-fit  come,  here  was  nothing  in  the 
world  betwixt  me  and  sudden  death  but  just  them 
tattoo-marks.  If  they  didn't  find  them  — 

I  couldn't  bear  to  think  about  it;  and  yet,  some- 


Huckleberry  Finn  265 

how,  I  couldn't  think  about  nothing  else.  It  got 
darker  and  darker,  and  it  was  a  beautiful  time  to  give 
the  crowd  the  slip ;  but  that  big  husky  had  me  by  the 
wrist  —  Hines  —  and  a  body  might  as  well  try  to  give 
Goliar  the  slip.  He  dragged  me  right  along,  he  was  so 
excited,  and  I  had  to  run  to  keep  up. 

When  they  got  there  they  swarmed  into  the  grave 
yard  and  washed  over  it  like  an  overflow.  And  when 
they  got  to  the  grave  they  found  they  had  about  a 
hundred  times  as  many  shovels  as  they  wanted,  but 
nobody  hadn't  thought  to  fetch  a  lantern.  But  they 
sailed  into  digging  anyway  by  the  flicker  of  the  light 
ning,  and  sent  a  man  to  the  nearest  house,  a  half  a 
mile  off,  to  borrow  one. 

So  they  dug  and  dug  like  everything;  and  it  got 
awful  dark,  and  the  rain  started,  and  the  wind  swished 
and  swushed  along,  and  the  lightning  come  brisker  and 
brisker,  and  the  thunder  boomed;  but  them  people 
never  took  no  notice  of  it,  they  was  so  full  of  this 
business;  and  one  minute  you  could  see  everything 
and  every  face  in  that  big  crowd,  and  the  shovelfuls  of 
dirt  sailing  up  out  of  the  grave,  and  the  next  second 
the  dark  wiped  it  all  out,  and  you  couldn't  see  nothing 
at  all. 

At  last  they  got  out  the  coffin  and  begun  to  unscrew 
the  lid,  and  then  such  another  crowding  and  shoulder 
ing  and  shoving  as  there  was,  to  scrouge  in  and  get  a 
sight,  you  never  see;  and  in  the  dark,  that  way,  it  was 
awful.  Hines  he  hurt  my  wrist  dreadful  pulling  and 
tugging  so,  and  I  reckon  he  clean  forgot  I  was  in  the 
world,  he  was  so  excited  and  panting. 

All  of  a  sudden  the  lightning  let  go  a  perfect  sluice 
of  white  glare,  and  somebody  sings  out: 

"  By  the  living  jingo,  here's  the  bag  of  gold  on  his 
breast!" 

Hines  let  out  a  whoop,   like  everybody  else,   and 


266  Huckleberry  Finn 

dropped  my  wrist  and  give  a  big  surge  to  bust  his  way 
in  and  get  a  look,  and  the  way  I  lit  out  and  shinned 
for  the  road  in  the  dark  there  ain't  nobody  can  tell. 

I  had  the  road  all  to  myself,  and  I  fairly  flew  — 
leastways,  I  had  it  all  to  myself  except  the  solid  dark, 
and  the  now-and-then  glares,  and  the  buzzing  of  the 
rain,  and  the  thrashing  of  the  wind,  and  the  splitting 
of  the  thunder;  and  sure  as  you  are  born  I  did  clip  it 
along ! 

When  I  struck  the  town  I  see  there  warn't  nobody 
out  in  the  storm,  so  I  never  hunted  for  no  back  streets, 
but  humped  it  straight  through  the  main  one;  and 
when  I  begun  to  get  towards  our  house  I  aimed  my 
eye  and  set  it.  No  light  there ;  the  house  all  dark  — 
which  made  me  feel  sorry  and  disappointed,  I  didn't 
know  why.  But  at  last,  just  as  I  was  sailing  by,  flash 
comes  the  light  in  Mary  Jane's  window !  and  my  heart 
swelled  up  sudden,  like  to  bust;  and  the  same  second 
the  house  and  all  was  behind  me  in  the  dark,  and 
wasn't  ever  going  to  be  before  me  no  more  in  this 
world.  She  was  the  best  girl  I  ever  see,  and  had  the 
most  sand. 

The  minute  I  was  far  enough  above  the  town  to  see 
I  could  make  the  towhead,  I  begun  to  look  sharp  for 
a  boat  to  borrow,  and  the  first  time  the  lightning 
showed  me  one  that  wasn't  chained  I  snatched  it  and 
shoved.  It  was  a  canoe,  and  warn't  fastened  with 
nothing  but  a  rope.  The  towhead  was  a  rattling  big 
distance  off,  away  out  there  in  the  middle  of  the  river, 
but  I  didn't  lose  no  time;  and  when  I  struck  the  raft 
at  last  I  was  so  fagged  I  would  a  just  laid  down  to 
blow  and  gasp  if  I  could  afforded  it.  But  I  didn't. 
As  I  sprung  aboard  I  sung  out: 

"  Out  with  you,  Jim,  and  set  her  loose!  Glory  be 
to  goodness,  we're  shut  of  them  !" 

Jim  lit  out,  and  was  a-coming  for  me  with  both  arms 


Huckleberry  Finn  267 

spread,  he  was  so  full  of  joy;  but  when  I  glimpsed 
him  in  the  lightning  my  heart  shot  up  in  my  mouth 
and  I  went  overboard  backwards ;  for  I  forgot  he  was 
old  King  Lear  and  a  drownded  A-rab  all  in  one,  and  it 
most  scared  the  livers  and  lights  out  of  me.  But  Jim 
fished  me  out,  and  was  going  to  hug  me  and  bless  me, 
and  so  on,  he  was  so  glad  I  was  back  and  we  was  shut 
of  the  king  and  the  duke,  but  I  says : 

*:  Not  now;  have  it  for  breakfast,  have  it  for  break 
fast  !  Cut  loose  and  let  her  slide  !" 

So  in  two  seconds  away  we  went  a-sliding  down  the 
river,  and  it  did  seem  so  good  to  be  free  again  and  all 
by  ourselves  on  the  big  river,  and  nobody  to  bother 
us.  I  had  to  skip  around  a  bit,  and  jump  up  and 
crack  my  heels  a  few  times  —  I  couldn't  help  it;  but 
about  the  third  crack  I  noticed  a  sound  that  I  knowed 
mighty  well,  and  held  my  breath  and  listened  and 
waited;  and  sure  enough,  when  the  next  flash  busted 
out  over  the  water,  here  they  come !  —  and  just  a- 
laying  to  their  oars  and  making  their  skiff  hum !  It 
was  the  king  and  the  duke. 

So  I  wilted  right  down  on  to  the  planks  then,  and 
give  up ;  and  it  was  all  I  could  do  to  keep  from  crying. 


CHAPTER   XXX. 

WHEN  they  got  aboard  the  king  went  for  me,  and 
shook  me  by  the  collar,  and  says : 
'  Tryin'    to    give   us   the   slip,  was  ye,   you   pup! 
Tired  of  our  company,  hey?" 

I  says: 

"  No,  your  majesty,  we  warn't — please  don't,  your 
majesty ! ' ' 

"  Quick,  then,  and  tell  us  what  was  your  idea,  or 
I'll  shake  the  insides  out  o'  you  !" 

"  Honest,  I'll  tell  you  everything  just  as  it  hap 
pened,  your  majesty.  The  man  that  had  a-holt  of  me 
was  very  good  to  me,  and  kept  saying  he  had  a  boy 
about  as  big  as  me  that  died  last  year,  and  he  was 
sorry  to  see  a  boy  in  such  a  dangerous  fix ;  and  when 
they  was  all  took  by  surprise  by  finding  the  gold,  and 
made  a  rush  for  the  coffin,  he  lets  go  of  me  and  whis 
pers,  'Heel  it  now,  or  they'll  hang  ye,  sure!'  and  I 
lit  out.  It  didn't  seem  no  good  for  me  to  stay  —  / 
couldn't  do  nothing,  and  I  didn't  want  to  be  hung  if 
I  could  get  away.  So  I  never  stopped  running  till  I 
found  the  canoe ;  and  when  I  got  here  I  told  Jim  to 
hurry,  or  they'd  catch  me  and  hang  me  yet,  and  said  I 
was  afeard  you  and  the  duke  wasn't  alive  now,  and 
I  was  awful  sorry,  and  so  was  Jim,  and  was  awful  glad 
when  we  see  you  coming;  you  may  ask  Jim  if  I 
didn't." 

(268) 


Huckleberry  Finn  269 

Jim  said  it  was  so ;  and  the  king  told  him  to  shut 
up,  and  said,  "Oh,  yes,  it's  mighty  likely!"  and 
shook  me  up  again,  and  said  he  reckoned  he'd  drownd 
me.  But  the  duke  says: 

"  Leggo  the  boy,  you  old  idiot !  Would  yoii  a  done 
any  different?  Did  you  inquire  around  for  him  when 
you  got  loose?  /don't  remember  it." 

So  the  king  let  go  of  me,  and  begun  to  cuss  that 
town  and  everybody  in  it.  But  the  duke  says : 

"You  better  a  blame'  sight  give,  yourself  a  good 
cussing,  for  you're  the  one  that's  entitled  to  it  most. 
You  hain't  done  a  thing  from  the  start  that  had  any 
sense  in  it,  except  coming  out  so  cool  and  cheeky  with 
that  imaginary  blue-arrow  mark.  That  was  bright  — 
it  was  right  down  bully;  and  it  was  the  thing  that 
saved  us.  For  if  it  hadn't  been  for  that  they'd  a  jailed 
us  till  them  Englishmen's  baggage  come  —  and  then  — 
the  penitentiary,  you  bet!  But  that  trick  took  'em  to 
the  graveyard,  and  the  gold  done  us  a  still  bigger 
kindness;  for  if  the  excited  fools  hadn't  let  go  all 
holts  and  made  that  rush  to  get  a  look  we'd  a  slept  in 
our  cravats  to-night  —  cravats  warranted  to  wear,  too 
—  longer  than  wed  need  'em." 

They  was  still  a  minute  —  thinking;  then  the  king 
says,  kind  of  absent-minded  like : 

"  Mf !     And  we  reckoned  the  niggers  stole  it!" 

That  made  me  squirm  ! 

"Yes,"  says  the  duke,  kinder  slow  and  deliberate 
and  sarcastic,  "  we  did." 

After  about  a  half  a  minute  the  king  drawls  out: 

"Leastways,  /did." 

The  duke  says,  the  same  way: 

"  On  the  contrary,  /  did." 

The  king  kind  of  ruffles  up,  and  says: 

"  Looky  here,  Bilgevvater,  what'r  you  refernV  to?" 

The  duke  says,  pretty  brisk: 


270  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  When  it  comes  to  that,  maybe  you'll  let  me  ask, 
what  was  you  referring  to?" 

"Shucks!"  says  the  king,  very  sarcastic;  "but  / 
don't  know  —  maybe  you  was  asleep,  and  didn't  know 
what  you  was  about." 

The  duke  bristles  up  now,  and  says : 

"  Oh,  let  up  on  this  cussed  nonsense;  do  you  take 
me  for  a  blame'  fool?  Don't  you  reckon  /  know  who 
hid  that  money  in  that  coffin?" 

44  Yes,  sir!  I  know  you  do  know,  because  you  done 
it  yourself!" 

44  It's  a  lie!" — and  the  duke  went  for  him.  The 
king  sings  out: 

44  Take  y'r  hands  off! — leggo  my  throat! — I  take  it 
all  back!"' 

The  duke  says : 

44  Well,  you  just  own  up,  first,  that  you  did  hide 
that  money  there,  intending  to  give  me  the  slip  one  of 
these  days,  and  come  back  and  dig  it  up,  and  have  it 
all  to  yourself." 

"Wait  jest  a  minute,  duke  —  answer  me  this  one 
question,  honest  and  fair;  if  you  didn't  put  the  money 
there,  say  it,  and  I'll  b'lieve  you,  and  take  back  every 
thing  I  said." 

4 'You  old  scoundrel,  I  didn't,  and  you  know  I 
didn't.  There,  now!" 

"Well,  then,  I  b'lieve  you.  But  answer  me  only 
jest  this  one  more — now  don't  git  mad;  didn't  you 
have  it  in  your  mind  to  hook  the  money  and  hide  it?" 

The  duke  never  said  nothing  for  a  little  bit ;  then  he 
says: 

"  Well,  I  don't  care  if  I  did,  I  didn't  do  it,  anyway. 
But  you  not  only  had  it  in  mind  to  do  it,  but  you 
done  it." 

44 1  wisht  I  never  die  if  I  done  it,  duke,  and  that's 
honest,  I  won't  say  I  warn't  goin'  to.  d.o  it,  because  { 


Huckleberry  Finn  271 

was  ;  but  you  —  I  mean  somebody  —  got  in  ahead  o* 
me." 

"  It's  a  lie!  You  done  it,  and  you  got  to  say  you 
done  it,  or — " 

The  king  began  to  gurgle,  and  then  he  gasps  out: 

44  'Nough!—  I  own  up!" 

I  was  very  glad  to  hear  him  say  that ;  it  made  me 
feel  much  more  easier  than  what  I  was  feeling  before. 
So  the  duke  took  his  hands  off  and  says : 

44  If  you  ever  deny  it  again  I'll  drown  you.  It's 
well  for  you  to  set  there  and  blubber  like  a  baby  —  it's 
fitten  for  you,  after  the  way  you've  acted.  I  never 
see  such  an  old  ostrich  for  wanting  to  gobble  every 
thing —  and  I  a-trusting  you  all  the  time,  like  you  was 
my  own  father.  You  ought  to  been  ashamed  of  your 
self  to  stand  by  and  hear  it  saddled  on  to  a  lot  of  poor 
niggers,  and  you  never  say  a  word  for  'em.  It  makes 
me  feel  ridiculous  to  think  I  was  soft  enough  to  believe 
that  rubbage.  Cuss  you,  I  can  see  now  why  you  was 
so  anxious  to  make  up  the  deffisit  —  you  wanted  tc 
get  what  money  I'd  got  out  of  the  Nonesuch  and  one 
thing  or  another,  and  scoop  it  all  I" 

The  king  says,  timid,  and  still  a-snuffling: 

"Why,  duke,  it  was  you  that  said  make  up  the 
deffisit;  it  warn't  me." 

44  Dry  up!  I  don't  want  to  hear  no  more  out  of 
you  !"  says  the  duke.  44  And  now  you  see  what  you 
got  by  it.  They've  got  all  their  own  money  back,  and 
all  of  ourn  but  a  shekel  or  two  besides.  G'long  to  bed, 
and  don't  you  deffersit  me  no  more  deffersits,  long  's 
you  live  ! ' ' 

So  the  king  sneaked  into  the  wigwam  and  took  to 
his  bottle  for  comfort,  and  before  long  the  duke  tackled 
his  bottle ;  and  so  in  about  a  half  an  hour  they  was  as 
thick  as  thieves  again,  and  the  tighter  they  got  the 
lovinger  they  got,  and  went  off  a-snoring  in  each 


272  Huckleberry  Finn 

other's  arms.  They  both  got  powerful  mellow,  but  I 
noticed  the  king  didn't  get  mellow  enough  to  forget  to 
remember  to  not  deny  about  hiding  the  money-bag 
again.  That  made  me  feel  easy  and  satisfied.  Of 
course  when  they  got  to  snoring  we  had  a  long  gabble, 
and  I  told  Jim  everything. 


CHAPTER   XXXI. 

WE  dasn't  stop  again  at  any  town  for  days  and 
days;  kept  right  along  down  the  river.  We 
was  down  south  in  the  warm  weather  now,  and  a 
mighty  long  ways  from  home.  We  begun  to  come  to 
trees  with  Spanish  moss  on  them,  hanging  down  from 
the  limbs  like  long,  gray  beards.  It  was  the  first  I 
ever  see  it  growing,  and  it  made  the  woods  look  solemn 
and  dismal.  So  now  the  frauds  reckoned  they  was  out 
of  danger,  and  they  begun  to  work  the  villages  again. 

First  they  done  a  lecture  on  temperance;  but  they 
didn't  make  enough  for  them  both  to  get  drunk  on. 
Then  in  another  village  they  started  a  dancing-school ; 
but  they  didn't  know  no  more  how  to  dance  than  a 
kangaroo  does ;  so  the  first  prance  they  made  the 
general  public  jumped  in  and  pranced  them  out  of 
town.  Another  time  they  tried  to  go  at  yellocution ; 
but  they  didn't  yellocute  long  till  the  audience  got  up 
and  give  them  a  solid  good  cussing,  and  made  them 
skip  out.  They  tackled  missionarying,  and  mesmeriz 
ing,  and  doctoring,  and  telling  fortunes,  and  a  little  of 
everything;  but  they  couldn't  seem  to  have  no  luck. 
So  at  last  they  got  just  about  dead  broke,  and  laid 
around  the  raft  as  she  floated  along,  thinking  and 
thinking,  and  never  saying  nothing,  by  the  half  a  day 
at  a  time,  and  dreadful  blue  and  desperate. 

And  at  last  they  took  a  change  and  begun  to  lay 
their  heads  together  in  the  wigwam  and  talk  low  and 
18  (273) 


274  Huckleberry  Finn 

confidential  two  or  three  hours  at  a  time.  Jim  and  me 
got  uneasy.  We  didn't  like  the  look  of  it.  We  judged 
they  was  studying  up  some  kind  of  worse  deviltry  than 
ever.  We  turned  it  over  and  over,  and  at  last  we  made 
up  our  minds  they  was  going  to  break  into  somebody's 
house  or  store,  or  was  going  into  the  counterfeit- 
money  business,  or  something.  So  then  we  was  pretty 
scared,  and  made  up  an  agreement  that  we  wouldn't 
have  nothing  in  the  world  to  do  with  such  actions,  and 
if  we  ever  got  the  least  show  we  would  give  them  the 
cold  shake  and  clear  out  and  leave  them  behind. 
Well,  early  one  morning  we  hid  the  raft  in  a  good, 
safe  place  about  two  mile  below  a  little  bit  of  a  shabby 
village  named  Pikesville,  and  the  king  he  went  ashore 
and  told  us  all  to  stay  hid  whilst  he  went  up  to  town 
and  smelt  around  to  see  if  anybody  had  got  any  wind 
of  the  Royal  Nonesuch  there  yet.  ("  House  to  rob, 
you  mean"  says  I  to  myself;  "and  when  you  get 
through  robbing  it  you'll  come  back  here  and  wonder 
what  has  become  of  me  and  Jim  and  the  raft  —  and 
you'll  have  to  take  it  out  in  wondering.")  And  he 
said  if  he  warn't  back  by  midday  the  duke  and  me 
would  know  it  was  all  right,  and  we  was  to  come  along. 
So  we  stayed  where  we  was.  The  duke  he  fretted 
and  sweated  around,  and  was  in  a  mighty  sour  way. 
He  scolded  us  for  everything,  and  we  couldn't  seem  to 
do  nothing  right;  he  found  fault  with  every  little 
thing.  Something  was  a-brewing,  sure.  I  was  good 
and  glad  when  midday  come  and  no  king;  we  could 
have  a  change,  anyway  —  and  maybe  a  chance  for  the 
chance  on  top  of  it.  So  me  and  the  duke  went  up  to 
the  village,  and  hunted  around  there  for  the  king,  and 
by  and  by  we  found  him  in  the  back  room  of  a  little 
low  doggery,  very  tight,  and  a  lot  of  loafers  bullyrag 
ging  him  for  sport,  and  he  a-cussing  and  a-threatening 
with  all  his  might,  and  so  tight  he  couldn't  walk,  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  275 

couldn't  do  nothing  to  them.  The  duke  he  begun  to 
abuse  him  for  an  old  fool,  and  the  king  begun  to  sass 
back,  and  the  minute  they  was  fairly  at  it  I  lit  out  and 
shook  the  reefs  out  of  my  hind  legs,  and  spun  down 
the  river  road  like  a  deer,  for  I  see  our  chance ;  and  I 
made  up  my  mind  that  it  would  be  a  long  day  before 
they  ever  see  me  and  Jim  again.  I  got  down  there  all 
out  of  breath  but  loaded  up  with  joy,  and  sung  out : 

"  Set  her  loose,  Jim;  we're  all  right  now!" 

But  there  warn't  no  answer,  and  nobody  come  out 
of  the  wigwam.  Jim  was  gone!  I  set  up  a  shout — - 
and  then  another  —  and  then  another  one;  and  run 
this  way  and  that  in  the  woods,  whooping  and  screech 
ing;  but  it  warn't  no  use  —  old  Jim  was  gone.  Then 
I  set  down  and  cried;  I  couldn't  help  it.  But  I 
couldn't  set  still  long.  Pretty  soon  I  went  out  on  the 
road,  trying  to  think  what  I  better  do,  and  I  run  across 
a  boy  walking,  and  asked  him  if  he'd  seen  a  strange 
nigger  dressed  so  and  so,  and  he  says: 

41  Yes." 

4 'Whereabouts?"   says  I. 

"Down  to  Silas  Phelps'  place,  two  mile  below 
here.  He's  a  runaway  nigger,  and  they've  got  him. 
Was  you  looking  for  him?" 

"You  bet  I  ain't!  I  run  across  him  in  the  woods 
about  an  hour  or  two  ago,  and  he  said  if  I  hollered 
he'd  cut  my  livers  out  —  and  told  me  to  lay  down  and 
stay  where  I  was ;  and  I  done  it.  Been  there  ever 
since;  afeard  to  come  out." 

11  Well,"  he  says,  "  you  needn't  be  afeard  no  more, 
becuz  they've  got  him.  He  run  off  f'm  down  South, 
som'ers." 

14  It's  a  good  job  they  got  him." 

"Well,  I  reckon!  There's  two  hunderd  dollars  re 
ward  on  him.  It's  like  picking  up  money  out'n  the 
road." 


276  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Yes,  it  is  —  and  /could  a  had  it  if  I'd  been  big 
enough;  I  see  him  first.  Who  nailed  him?" 

*  *  It  was  an  old  fellow  —  a  stranger  —  and  he  sold 
out  his  chance  in  him  for  forty  dollars,  becuz  he's  got 
to  go  up  the  river  and  can't  wait.  Think  o'  that, 
now  !  You  bet  I'd  wait,  if  it  was  seven  year/' 

"  That's  me,  every  time,'*  says  I.  "  But  maybe  his 
chance  ain't  worth  no  more  than  that,  if  he'll  sell  it  so 
cheap.  Maybe  there's  something  ain't  straight  about 
it." 

"  But  it  is,  though  —  straight  as  a  string.  I  see  the 
handbill  myself.  It  tells  all  about  him,  to  a  dot — • 
paints  him  like  a  picture,  and  tells  the  plantation  he's 
frum,  below  "Newr/eans.  No-sirree-&?#,  they  ain't  no 
trouble  'bout  that  speculation,  you  bet  you.  Say, 
gimme  a  chaw  tobacker,  won't  ye?" 

I  didn't  have  none,  so  he  left.  I  went  to  the  raft, 
and  set  down  in  the  wigwam  to  think.  But  I  couldn't 
come  to  nothing.  I  thought  till  I  wore  my  head  sore, 
but  I  couldn't  see  no  way  out  of  the  trouble.  After 
all  this  long  journey,  and  after  all  we'd  done  for  them 
scoundrels,  here  it  was  all  come  to  nothing,  everything 
all  busted  up  and  ruined,  because  they  could  have  the 
heart  to  serve  Jim  such  a  trick  as  that,  and  make  him 
a  slave  again  all  his  life,  and  amongst  strangers,  too, 
for  forty  dirty  dollars. 

Once  I  said  to  myself  it  would  be  a  thousand  times 
better  for  Jim  to  be  a  slave  at  home  where  his  family 
was,  as  long  as  he'd  got  to  be  a  slave,  and  so  I'd  better 
write  a  letter  to  Tom  Sawyer  and  tell  him  to  tell  Miss 
Watson  where  he  was.  But  I  soon  give  up  that  notion 
for  two  things:  she'd  be  mad  and  disgusted  at  his 
rascality  and  ungratefulness  for  leaving  her,  and  so 
she'd  sell  him  straight  down  the  river  again;  and  if 
she  didn't,  everybody  naturally  despises  an  ungrateful 
nigger,  and  they'd  make  Jim  feel  it  all  the  time,  and  so 


Huckleberry  Finn  277 

he'd  feel  ornery  and  disgraced.  And  then  think  of 
me  !  It  would  get  all  around  that  Huck  Finn  helped  a 
nigger  to  get  his  freedom;  and  if  I  was  ever  to  see 
anybody  from  that  town  again  I'd  be  ready  to  get 
down  and  lick  his  boots  for  shame.  That's  just  the 
way:  a  person  does  a  low-down  thing,  and  then  he 
don't  want  to  take  no  consequences  of  it.  Thinks  as 
long  as  he  can  hide,  it  ain't  no  disgrace.  That  was 
my  fix  exactly.  The  more  I  studied  about  this  the 
more  my  conscience  went  to  grinding  me,  and  the 
more  wicked  and  low-down  and  ornery  I  got  to  feel 
ing.  And  at  last,  when  it  hit  me  all  of  a  sudden  that 
here  was  the  plain  hand  of  Providence  slapping  me  in 
the  face  and  letting  me  know  my  wickedness  was  being 
watched  all  the  time  from  up  there  in  heaven,  whilst  I 
was  stealing  a  poor  old  woman's  nigger  that  hadn't 
ever  done  me  no  harm,  and  now  was  showing  me 
there's  One  that's  always  on  the  lookout,  and  ain't  a- 
going  to  allow  no  such  miserable  doings  to  go  only 
just  so  fur  and  no  further,  I  most  dropped  in  my 
tracks  I  was  so  scared.  Well,  I  tried  the  best  I  could 
to  kinder  soften  it  up  somehow  for  myself  by  saying  I 
was  brung  up  wicked,  and  so  I  warn't  so  much  to 
blame;  but  something  inside  of  me  kept  saying, 
4  There  was  the  Sunday-school,  you  could  a  gone  to 
it;  and  if  you'd  a  done  it  they'd  a  learnt  you  there 
that  people  that  acts  as  I'd  been  acting  about  that 
nigger  goes  to  everlasting  fire.'* 

It  made  me  shiver.  And  I  about  made  up  my  mind 
to  pray,  and  see  if  I  couldn't  try  to  quit  being  the  kind 
of  a  boy  I  was  and  be  better.  So  I  kneeled  down. 
But  the  words  wouldn't  come.  Why  wouldn't  they? 
It  warn't  no  use  to  try  and  hide  it  from  Him.  Nor 
from  me,  neither,  I  knowed  very  well  why  they 
wouldn't  come.  It  was  because  my  heart  warn't  right; 
it  was  because  I  warn't  square;  it  was  because  I  was 


278  Huckleberry  Finn 

playing  double.  I  was  letting  on  to  give  up  sin,  but 
away  inside  of  me  I  was  holding  on  to  the  biggest  one 
of  all.  I  was  trying  to  make  my  mouth  say  I  would 
do  the  right  thing  and  the  clean  thing,  and  go  and  write 
to  that  nigger's  owner  and  tell  where  he  was;  but  deep 
down  in  me  I  knowed  it  was  a  lie,  and  He  knowed  it. 
You  can't  pray  a  lie  —  I  found  that  out. 

So  I  was  full  of  trouble,  full  as  I  could  be;  and 
didn't  know  what  to  do.  At  last  I  had  an  idea;  and  I 
says,  I'll  go  and  write  the  letter  —  and  then  see  if  I  can 
pray.  Why,  it  was  astonishing,  the  way  I  felt  as  light 
as  a  feather  right  straight  off,  and  my  troubles  all 
gone.  So  I  got  a  piece  of  paper  and  a  pencil,  all 
glad  and  excited,  and  set  down  and  wrote: 

Miss  Watson,  your  runaway  nigger  Jim  is  down  here  two  mile  below 
Pikesville,  and  Mr.  Phelps  has  got  him  and  he  will  give  him  up  for  the 
reward  if  you  send. 

HUCK  FINN. 

I  felt  good  and  all  washed  clean  of  sin  for  the  first 
time  I  had  ever  felt  so  in  my  life,  and  I  knowed  I 
could  pray  now.  But  I  didn't  do  it  straight  off,  but 
laid  the  paper  down  and  set  there  thinking — -thinking 
how  good  it  was  all  this  happened  so,  and  how  near  I 
come  to  being  lost  and  going  to  hell.  And  went  on 
thinking.  And  got  to  thinking  over  our  trip  down  the 
river;  and  I  see  Jim  before  me  all  the  time:  in  the 
day  and  in  the  night-time,  sometimes  moonlight,  some 
times  storms,  and  we  a-floating  along,  talking  and 
singing  and  laughing.  But  somehow  I  couldn't  seem 
to  strike  no  places  to  harden  me  against  him,  but  only 
the  other  kind.  I'd  see  him  standing  my  watch  on  top 
of  his'n,  'stead  of  calling  me,  so  I  could  go  on  sleep 
ing;  and  see  him  how  glad  he  was  when  I  come  back 
out  of  the  fog;  and  when  I  come  to  him  again  in  the 
swamp,  up  there  where  the  feud  was;  and  such-like 


Huckleberry  Finn  279 

times;  and  would  always  call  me  honey,  and  pet  me, 
and  do  everything  he  could  think  of  for  me,  and  how 
good  he  always  was;  and  at  last  I  struck  the  time  I 
saved  him  by  telling  the  men  we  had  small-pox  aboard, 
and  he  was  so  grateful,  and  said  I  was  the  best  friend 
old  Jim  ever  had  in  the  world,  and  the  only  one  he's 
got  now;  and  then  I  happened  to  look  around  and  see 
that  paper. 

It  was  a  close  place.  I  took  it  up,  and  held  it  in 
my  hand.  I  was  a-trembling,  because  I'd  got  to  de 
cide,  forever,  betwixt  two  things,  and  I  knowed  it.  I 
studied  a  minute,  sort  of  holding  my  breath,  and  then 
says  to  myself: 

"  All  right,  then,  I'll  go  to  hell  "—  and  tore  it  up. 

It  was  awful  thoughts  and  awful  words,  but  they  was 
said.  And  I  let  them  stay  said;  and  never  thought  no 
more  about  reforming.  I  shoved  the  whole  thing  out 
of  my  head,  and  said  I  would  take  up  wickedness 
again,  which  was  in  my  line,  being  brung  up  to  it,  and 
the  other  warn't.  And  for  a  starter  I  would  go  to 
work  and  steal  Jim  out  of  slavery  again ;  and  if  I  could 
think  up  anything  worse,  I  would  do  that,  too;  be 
cause  as  long  as  I  was  in,  and  in  for  good,  I  might  as 
well  go  the  whole  hog. 

Then  I  set  to  thinking  over  how  to  get  at  it,  and 
turned  over  some  considerable  many  ways  in  my  mind ; 
and  at  last  fixed  up  a  plan  that  suited  me.  So  then  I 
took  the  bearings  of  a  woody  island  that  was  down 
the  river  a  piece,  and  as  soon  as  it  was  fairly  dark  I 
crept  out  with  my  raft  and  went  for  it,  and  hid  it 
there,  and  then  turned  in.  I  slept  the  night  through, 
and  got  up  before  it  was  light,  and  had  my  breakfast, 
and  put  on  my  store  clothes,  and  tied  up  some  others 
and  one  thing  or  another  in  a  bundle,  and  took  the 
canoe  and  cleared  for  shore.  I  landed  below  where  I 
judged  was  Phelps's  place,  and  hid  my  bundle  in  the 


280  Huckleberry  Finn 

woods,  and  then  filled  up  the  canoe  with  water,  and 
loaded  rocks  into  her  and  sunk  her  where  I  could  find 
her  again  when  I  wanted  her,  about  a  quarter  of  a 
mile  below  a  little  steam  sawmill  that  was  on  the  bank. 

Then  I  struck  up  the  road,  and  when  I  passed  the 
mill  I  see  a  sign  on  it,  "  Phelps's  Sawmill,"  and  when 
I  come  to  the  farm-houses,  two  or  three  hundred  yards 
further  along,  I  kept  my  eyes  peeled,  but  didn't  see 
nobody  around,  though  it  was  good  daylight  now. 
But  I  didn't  mind,  because  I  didn't  want  to  see  nobody 
just  yet — I  only  wanted  to  get  the  lay  of  the  land. 
According  to  my  plan,  I  was  going  to  turn  up  there 
from  the  village,  not  from  below.  So  I  just  took  a 
look,  and  shoved  along,  straight  for  town.  Well,  the 
very  first  man  I  see  when  I  got  there  was  the  duke. 
He  was  sticking  up  a  bill  for  the  Royal  Nonesuch  — 
three-night  performance  —  like  that  other  time.  They 
had  the  cheek,  them  frauds !  I  was  right  on  him  be 
fore  I  could  shirk.  He  looked  astonished,  and  says: 

"Hel-/<?/  Where'd  you  come  from?1'  Then  he 
says,  kind  of  glad  and  eager,  "Where's  the  raft?  — 
got  her  in  a  good  place?" 

I  says: 

"Why,  that's  just  what  I  was  going  to  ask  your 
grace." 

Then  he  didn't  look  so  joyful,  and  says: 

"  What  was  your  idea  for  asking  me  ?"   he  says. 

"Well,"  I  says,  "when  I  see  the  king  in  that  dog 
gery  yesterday  I  says  to  myself,  we  can't  get  him 
home  for  hours,  till  he's  soberer;  so  I  went  a-loafing 
around  town  to  put  in  the  time  and  wait.  A  man  up 
and  offered  me  ten  cents  to  help  him  pull  a  skiff  over 
the  river  and  back  to  fetch  a  sheep,  and  so  I  went 
along;  but  when  we  was  dragging  him  to  the  boat,  and 
the  man  left  me  a-holt  of  the  rope  and  went  behind 
him  to  shove  him  along,  he  was  too  strong  for  me  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  281 

jerked  loose  and  run,  and  we  after  him.  We  didn't 
have  no  dog,  and  so  we  had  to  chase  him  all  over  the 
country  till  we  tired  him  out.  We  never  got  him  till 
dark;  then  we  fetched  him  over,  and  I  started  down 
for  the  raft.  When  I  got  there  and  see  it  was  gone,  I 
says  to  myself,  '  They've  got  into  trouble  and  had  to 
leave;  and  they've  took  my  nigger,  which  is  the  only 
nigger  I've  got  in  the  world,  and  now  I'm  in  a  strange 
country,  and  ain't  got  no  property  no  more,  nor  noth 
ing,  and  no  way  to  make  my  living ; '  so  I  set  down 
and  cried.  I  slept  in  the  woods  all  night.  But  what 
did  become  of  the  raft,  then  ?  —  and  Jim  —  poor  Jim  ! ' ' 

"  Blamed  if  /know  —  that  is,  what's  become  of  the 
raft.  That  old  fool  had  made  a  trade  and  got  forty 
dollars,  and  when  we  found  him  in  the  doggery  the 
loafers  had  matched  half-dollars  with  him  and  got 
every  cent  but  what  he'd  spent  for  whisky;  and  when 
I  got  him  home  late  last  night  and  found  the  raft  gone, 
we  said,  '  That  little  rascal  has  stole  our  raft  and  shook 
us,  and  run  off  down  the  river.'  ' 

"  I  wouldn't  shake  my  nigger,  would  I?  —  the  only 
nigger  I  had  in  the  world,  and  the  only  property." 

"  We  never  thought  of  that.  Fact  is,  I  reckon  we'd 
come  to  consider  him  our  nigger;  yes,  we  did  consider 
him  so  —  goodness  knows  we  had  trouble  enough  for 
him.  So  when  we  see  the  raft  was  gone  and  we  flat 
broke,  there  warn't  anything  for  it  but  to  try  the 
Royal  Nonesuch  another  shake.  And  I've  pegged 
along  ever  since,  dry  as  a  powder-horn.  Where's  that 
ten  cents?  Give  it  here." 

I  had  considerable  money,  so  I  give  him  ten  cents, 
but  begged  him  to  spend  it  for  something  to  eat,  and 
give  me  some,  because  it  was  all  the  money  I  had,  and 
1  hadn't  had  nothing  to  eat  since  yesterday.  He  never 
said  nothing.  The  next  minute  he  whirls  on  me  and 
says: 


282  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Do  you  reckon  that  nigger  would  blow  on  us? 
We'd  skin  him  if  he  done  that!" 

"  How  can  he  blow?     Hain't  he  run  off?" 

"No!  That  old  fool  sold  him,  and  never  divided 
with  me,  and  the  money's  gone." 

11  Sold  him?"  I  says,  and  begun  to  cry;  "  why,  he 
was  my  nigger,  and  that  was  my  money.  Where  is 
he?  —  I  want  my  nigger." 

"Well,  you  can't  get  your  nigger,  that's  all  —  so 
dry  up  your  blubbering.  Looky  here  —  do  you  think 
you' d  venture  to  blow  on  us?  Blamed  if  I  think  I'd 
trust  you.  Why,  if  you  was  to  blow  on  us — " 

He  stopped,  but  I  never  see  the  duke  look  so  ugly  out 
of  his  eyes  before.  I  went  on  a-whimpering,  and  says  : 

"  I  don't  want  to  blow  on  nobody;  and  I  ain't  got 
no  time  to  blow,  nohow.  I  got  to  turn  out  and  find 
my  nigger." 

He  looked  kinder  bothered,  and  stood  there  with  his 
bills  fluttering  on  his  arm,  thinking,  and  wrinkling  up 
his  forehead.  At  last  he  says : 

"I'll  tell  you  something.  We  got  to  be  here  three 
days.  If  you'll  promise  you  won't  blow,  and  won't 
let  the  nigger  blow,  I'll  tell  you  where  to  find  him." 

So  I  promised,  and  he  says: 

"  A  farmer  by  the  name  of  Silas  Ph "  and  then 

he  stopped.  You  see,  he  started  to  tell  me  the  truth; 
but  when  he  stopped  that  way,  and  begun  to  study  and 
think  again,  I  reckoned  he  was  changing  his  mind. 
And  so  he  was.  He  wouldn't  trust  me;  he  wanted  to 
make  sure  of  having  me  out  of  the  way  the  whole 
three  days.  So  pretty  soon  he  says : 

"  The  man  that  bought  him  is  named  Abram  Foster 
—  Abram  G.  Foster  —  and  he  lives  forty  mile  back 
here  in  the  country,  on  the  road  to  Lafayette." 

"  All  right,"  I  says,  "  I  can  walk  it  in  three  days. 
And  I'll  start  this  very  afternoon." 


Huckleberry  Finn  283 

"No  you  wont,  you'll  start  now;  and  don't  you 
lose  any  time  about  it,  neither,  nor  do  any  gabbling  by 
the  way.  Just  keep  a  tight  tongue  in  your  head  and 
move  right  along,  and  then  you  won't  get  into  trouble 
with  us,  d'ye  hear?" 

That  was  the  order  I  wanted,  and  that  was  the  one  I 
played  for.  I  wanted  to  be  left  free  to  work  my  plans. 

"So  clear  out,"  he  says;  **  and  you  can  tell  Mr. 
Foster  whatever  you  want  to.  Maybe  you  can  get 
him  to  believe  that  Jim  is  your  nigger  —  some  idiots 
don't  require  documents  —  leastways  I've  heard  there's 
such  down  South  here.  And  when  you  tell  him  the 
handbill  and  the  reward's  bogus,  maybe  he'll  believe 
you  when  you  explain  to  him  what  the  idea  was  for 
getting  'em  out.  Go  'long  now,  and  tell  him  anything 
you  want  to ;  but  mind  you  don't  work  your  jaw  any 
between  here  and  there." 

So  I  left,  and  struck  for  the  back  country.  I  didn't 
look  around,  but  I  kinder  felt  like  he  was  watching  me. 
But  I  knowed  I  could  tire  him  out  at  that.  I  went 
straight  out  in  the  country  as  much  as  a  mile  before  I 
stopped ;  then  I  doubled  back  through  the  woods 
towards  Phelps'.  I  reckoned  I  better  start  in  on  my 
plan  straight  off  without  fooling  around,  because  I 
wanted  to  stop  Jim's  mouth  till  these  fellows  could  get 
away.  I  didn't  want  no  trouble  with  their  kind.  I'd 
seen  all  I  wanted  to  of  them,  and  wanted  to  get  entirely 
shut  of  them. 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 

WHEN  I  got  there  it  was  all  still  and  Sunday-like, 
and  hot  and  sunshiny ;  the  hands  was  gone  to 
the  fields ;  and  there  was  them  kind  of  faint  dronings 
of  bugs  and  flies  in  the  air  that  makes  it  seem  so  lone 
some  and  like  everybody's  dead  and  gone;  and  if  a 
breeze  fans  along  and  quivers  the  leaves  it  makes  you 
feel  mournful,  because  you  feel  like  it's  spirits  whisper 
ing —  spirits  that's  been  dead  ever  so  many  years  — 
and  you  always  think  they're  talking  about  you.  As  a 
general  thing  it  makes  a  body  wish  he  was  dead,  too, 
and  done  with  it  all. 

Phelps'  was  one  of  these  little  one-horse  cotton  plan 
tations,  and  they  all  look  alike.  A  rail  fence  round  a 
two-acre  yard ;  a  stile  made  out  of  logs  sawed  off  and 
up-ended  in  steps,  like  barrels  of  a  different  length,  to 
climb  over  the  fence  with,  and  for  the  women  to  stand 
on  when  they  are  going  to  jump  on  to  a  horse ;  some 
sickly  grass-patches  in  the  big  yard,  but  mostly  it  was 
bare  and  smooth,  like  an  old  hat  with  the  nap  rubbed 
off;  big  double  log-house  for  the  white  folks  —  hewed 
logs,  with  the  chinks  stopped  up  with  mud  or  mortar, 
and  these  mud-stripes  been  whitewashed  some  time  or 
another;  round-log  kitchen,  with  a  big  broad,  open 
but  roofed  passage  joining  it  to  the  house ;  log  smoke 
house  back  of  the  kitchen  ;  three  little  log  nigger-cabins 
in  a  row  t'other  side  the  smoke-house;  one  little  hut 
all  by  itself  away  down  against  the  back  fence,  and 

(284) 


Huckleberry  Finn  285 

some  outbuildings  down  a  piece  the  other  side ;  ash- 
hopper  anrj  big  kettle  to  bile  soap  in  by  the  little  hut ; 
bench  by  the  kitchen  door,  with  bucket  of  water  and  a 
gourd;  hound  asleep  there  in  the  sun;  more  hounds 
asleep  round  about ;  about  three  shade  trees  away  off 
in  a  corner;  some  currant  bushes  and  gooseberry 
bushes  in  one  place  by  the  fence ;  outside  of  the  fence 
a  garden  and  a  watermelon  patch;  then  the  cotton 
fields  begins,  and  after  the  fields  the  woods. 

I  went  around  and  dumb  over  the  back  stile  by  the 
ash-hopper,  and  started  for  the  kitchen.  When  I  got 
a  little  ways  I  head  the  dim  hum  of  a  spinning-wheel 
wailing  along  up  and  sinking  along  down  again;  and 
then  I  knowed  for  certain  I  wished  I  was  dead  —  for 
that  is  the  lonesomest  sound  in  the  whole  world. 

I  went  right  along,  not  fixing  up  any  particular  plan, 
but  just  trusting  to  Providence  to  put  the  right  words 
in  my  mouth  when  the  time  come;  for  I'd  noticed  that 
Providence  always  did  put  the  right  words  in  my  mouth 
if  I  left  it  alone. 

When  I  got  half-way,  first  one  hound  and  then 
another  got  up  and  went  for  me,  and  of  course  I 
stopped  and  faced  them,  and  kept  still.  And  such 
another  powwow  as  they  made !  In  a  quarter  of  a 
minute  I  was  a  kind  of  a  hub  of  a  wheel,  as  you  may 
say  —  spokes  made  out  of  dogs  —  circle  of  fifteen 
of  them  packed  together  around  me,  with  their  necks 
and  noses  stretched  up  towards  me,  a-barking  and 
howling ;  and  more  a-coming ;  you  could  see  them  sail 
ing  over  fences  and  around  corners  from  everywheres. 

A  nigger  woman  come  tearing  out  of  the  kitchen  with 
a  rolling-pin  in  her  hand,  singing  out,  "Begone!  you 
Tige  !  you  Spot !  begone  sah ! ' '  and  she  fetched  first 
one  and  then  another  of  them  a  clip  and  sent  them 
howling,  and  then  the  rest  followed;  and  the  next 
second  half  of  them  come  back,  wagging  their  tails 


286  Huckleberry  Finn 

around  me,  and  making  friends  with  me.  There  ain't 
no  harm  in  a  hound,  nohow. 

And  behind  the  woman  comes  a  little  nigger  girl  and 
two  little  nigger  boys  without  anything  on  but  tow-linen 
shirts,  and  they  hung  on  to  their  mother's  gown,  and 
peeped  out  from  behind  her  at  me,  bashful,  the  way 
they  always  do.  And  here  comes  the  white  woman 
running  from  the  house,  about  forty-five  or  fifty  year 
old,  bareheaded,  and  her  spinning-stick  in  her  hand; 
and  behind  her  comes  her  little  white  children,  acting 
the  same  way  the  little  niggers  was  going.  She  was 
smiling  all  over  so  she  could  hardly  stand  —  and  says : 

"It'sjtfz/,  at  last! — am' tit?" 

I  out  with  a  "  Yes'm  "  before  I  thought. 

She  grabbed  me  and  hugged  me  tight;  and  then 
gripped  me  by  both  hands  and  shook  and  shook ;  and 
the  tears  come  in  her  eyes,  and  run  down  over;  and 
she  couldn't  seem  to  hug  and  shake  enough,  and  kept 
saying,  "  You  don't  look  as  much  like  your  mother  as 
I  reckoned  you  would;  but  law  sakes,  I  don't  care  for 
that,  I'm  so  glad  to  see  you  !  Dear,  dear,  it  does  seem 
like  I  could  eat  you  up !  Children,  it's  your  cousin 
Tom! — tell  him  howdy." 

But  they  ducked  their  heads,  and  put  their  fingers  in 
their  mouths,  and  hid  behind  her.  So  she  run  on : 

"  Lize,  hurry  up  and  get  him  a  hot  breakfast  right 
away  —  or  did  you  get  your  breakfast  on  the  boat?" 

I  said  I  had  got  it  on  the  boat.  So  then  she  started 
for  the  house,  leading  me  by  the  hand,  and  the  children 
tagging  after.  When  we  got  there  she  set  me  down  in 
a  split-bottomed  chair,  and  set  herself  down  on  a  little 
low  stool  in  front  of  me,  holding  both  of  my  hands, 
and  says: 

"  Now  I  can  have  a  good  look  at  you;  and,  laws-a- 
me,  I've  been  hungry  for  it  a  many  and  a  many  a  time, 
all  these  long  years,  and  it's  come  at  last!  We  been 


Huckleberry  Finn  287 

expecting  you  a  couple  of  days  and  more.     What  kep' 
you? — boat  get  aground?" 
'Yes'm  —  she—  " 

"  Don't  say  yes'm  —  say  Aunt  Sally.  Where'd  she 
get  aground?" 

I  didn't  rightly  know  what  to  say,  because  I  didn't 
know  whether  the  boat  would  be  coming  up  the  river 
or  down.  But  I  go  a  good  deal  on  instinct;  and  my 
instinct  said  she  would  be  coming  up  —  from  down 
towards  Orleans.  That  didn't  help  me  much,  though; 
for  I  didn't  know  the  names  of  bars  down  that  way.  I 
see  Td  got  to  invent  a  bar,  or  forget  the  name  of  the 
one  we  got  aground  on  —  or —  Now  I  struck  an  idea, 
and  fetched  it  out: 

"  It  warn't  the  grounding  —  that  didn't  keep  us  back 
but  a  little.  We  blowed  out  a  cylinder-head." 

"  Good  gracious  !   anybody  hurt?" 

"No'm.     Killed  a  nigger." 

"Well,  it's  lucky;  because  sometimes  people  do  get 
hurt.  Two  years  ago  last  Christmas  your  uncle  Silas 
was  coming  up  from  Newrleans  on  the  old  Lally  Rook, 
and  she  blowed  out  a  cylinder-head  and  crippled  a  man. 
And  I  think  he  died  afterwards.  He  was  a  Baptist. 
Your  uncle  Silas  knowed  a  family  in  Baton  Rouge 
that  knowed  his  people  very  well.  Yes,  I  remember 
now,  he  did  die.  Mortification  set  in,  and  they  had  to 
amputate  him.  But  it  didn't  save  him.  Yes,  it  was 
mortification  —  that  was  it.  He  turned  blue  all  over, 
and  died  in  the  hope  of  a  glorious  resurrection.  They 
say  he  was  a  sight  to  look  at.  Your  uncle's  been  up 
to  the  town  every  day  to  fetch  you.  And  he's  gone 
again,  not  more'n  an  hour  ago;  he'll  be  back  any 
minute  now.  You  must  a  met  him  on  the  road,  didn't 
you? — oldish  man,  with  a — " 

"No,  I  didn't  see  nobody,  Aunt  Sally.  The  boat 
landed  just  at  daylight,  and  I  left  my  baggage  on  the 


288  Huckleberry  Finn 

wharf-boat  and  went  looking  around  the  town  and  out 
a  piece  in  the  country,  to  put  in  the  time  and  not  get 
here  too  soon ;  and  so  I  come  down  the  back  way. ' ' 

"  Who'd  you  give  the  baggage  to?" 

41  Nobody." 

4 'Why,  child,  it  '11  be  stole!" 

"  Not  where  /hid  it  I  reckon  it  won't,"  I  says. 

"  How'd  you  get  your  breakfast  so  early  on  the 
boat?" 

It  was  kinder  thin  ice,  but  I  says: 
'The  captain  see  me  standing  around,  and  told  me 
I  better  have  something  to  eat  before  I  went  ashore ; 
so  he  took  me  in  the  texas  to  the  officers'  lunch,  and 
give  me  all  I  wanted." 

I  was  getting  so  uneasy  I  couldn't  listen  good.  I 
had  my  mind  on  the  children  all  the  time ;  I  wanted  to 
get  them  out  to  one  side  and  pump  them  a  little,  and 
find  out  who  I  was.  But  I  couldn't  get  no  show,  Mrs. 
Phelps  kept  it  up  and  run  on  so.  Pretty  soon  she  made 
the  cold  chills  streak  all  down  my  back,  because  she 
says: 

"But  here  we're  a-running  on  this  way,  and  you 
hain't  told  me  a  word  about  Sis,  nor  any  of  them. 
Now  I'll  rest  my  works  a  little,  and  you  start  up  yourn ; 
just  tell  me  everything — tell  me  all  about  'm  all  — 
every  one  of  'm;  and  how  they  are,  and  what  they're 
doing,  and  what  they  told  you  to  tell  me ;  and  every 
last  thing  you  can  think  of." 

Well,  I  see  I  was  up  a  stump  —  and  up  it  good. 
Providence  had  stood  by  me  this  fur  all  right,  but  I 
was  hard  and  tight  aground  now.  I  see  it  warn't  a  bit 
of  use  to  try  to  go  ahead  —  I'd^v/to  throw  up  my 
hand.  So  I  says  to  myself,  here's  another  place  where 
I  got  to  resk  the  truth.  I  opened  my  mouth  to  begin; 
but  she  grabbed  me  and  hustled  me  in  behind  the  bed, 
and  says: 


Huckleberry  Finn  289 

"  Here  he  comes  !  Stick  your  head  down  lower  — 
there,  that'll  do;  you  can't  be  seen  now.  Don't  you 
let  on  you're  here.  I'll  play  a  joke  on  him.  Children, 
don't  you  say  a  word/' 

I  see  I  was  in  a  fix  now.  But  it  warn't  no  use  to 
worry;  there  warn't  nothing  to  do  but  just  hold  still, 
and  try  and  be  ready  to  stand  from  under  when  the 
lightning  struck. 

I  had  just  one  little  glimpse  of  the  old  gentleman 
when  he  come  in;  then  the  bed  hid  him.  Mrs.  Phelps 
she  jumps  for  him,  and  says: 

"Has  he  come?" 

"  No,"  says  her  husband. 

"  Good-ness  gracious!"  she  says,  "what  in  the 
world  can  have  become  of  him?" 

"  I  can't  imagine,"  says  the  old  gentleman;  "and 
I  must  say  it  makes  me  dreadful  uneasy." 

' '  Uneasy  ! ' '  she  says ;  "I'm  ready  to  go  distracted  ! 
He  must  a  come;  and  you've  missed  him  along  the 
road.  I  know  it's  so  —  something  tells  me  so." 

"  Why,  Sally,  I  couldnt  miss  him  along  the  road  — 
you  know  that." 

"  But  oh,  dear,  dear,  what  will  Sis  say !  He  must  a 
come  !  You  must  a  missed  him.  He — " 

"  Oh,  don't  distress  me  any  more'n  I'm  already  dis 
tressed.  I  don't  know  what  in  the  world  to  make  of  it. 
I'm  at  my  wit's  end,  and  I  don't  mind  acknowledging 
't  I'm  right  down  scared.  But  there's  no  hope  that 
he's  come;  for  he  couldn't  come  and  me  miss  him. 
Sally,  it's  terrible  —  just  terrible  —  something's  hap 
pened  to  the  boat,  sure!" 

l<  Why,  Silas  !  Look  yonder  ! —  up  the  road  ! —  ain't 
that  somebody  coming?" 

He  sprung  to  the  window  at  the  head  of  the  bed, 
and  that  give  Mrs.  Phelps  the  chance  she  wanted.  She 
stooped  down  quick  at  the  foot  of  the  bed  and  give  me 
19 


290  Huckleberry  Finn 

a  pull,  and  out  I  come ;  and  when  he  turned  back 
from  the  window  there  she  stood,  a-beaming  and  a-smil- 
ing  like  a  house  afire,  and  I  standing  pretty  meek  and 
sweaty  alongside.  The  old  gentleman  stared,  and 
says: 

4 'Why,  who's  that?" 

"Who  do  you  reckon  't  is?" 

"  I  hain't  no  idea.     Who  is  it?" 

"  It's  Tom  Sawyer  /  " 

By  jings,  I  most  slumped  through  the  floor!  But 
there  warn't  no  time  to  swap  knives;  the  old  man 
grabbed  me  by  the  hand  and  shook,  and  kept  on  shak 
ing  ;  and  all  the  time  how  the  woman  did  dance  around 
and  laugh  and  cry;  and  then  how  they  both  did  fire  off 
questions  about  Sid,  and  Mary,  and  the  rest  of  the 
tribe. 

But  if  they  was  joyful,  it  warn't  nothing  to  what  I 
was ;  for  it  was  like  being  born  again,  I  was  so  glad  to 
find  out  who  I  was.  Well,  they  froze  to  me  for  two 
hours;  and  at  last,  when  my  chin  was  so  tired  it 
couldn't  hardly  go  any  more,  I  had  told  them  more 
about  my  family  —  I  mean  the  Sawyer  family  —  than 
ever  happened  to  any  six  Sawyer  families.  And  I  ex 
plained  all  about  how  we  blowed  out  a  cylinder-head  at 
the  mouth  of  White  River,  and  it  took  us  three  days  to 
fix  it.  Which  was  all  right,  and  worked  first-rate ;  be 
cause  they  didn't  know  but  what  it  would  take  three 
days  to  fix  it.  If  I'd  a  called  it  a  bolthead  it  would  a 
done  just  as  well. 

Now  I  was  feeling  pretty  comfortable  all  down  one 
side,  and  pretty  uncomfortable  all  up  the  other.  Be 
ing  Tom  Sawyer  was  easy  and  comfortable,  and  it 
stayed  easy  and  comfortable  till  by  and  by  I  hear  a 
steamboat  coughing  along  down  the  river.  Then  I 
says  to  myself,  s'pose  Tom  Sawyer  comes  down  on  that 
boat?  And  s'pose  he  steps  in  here  any  minute,  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  291 

sings  out  my  name  before  I  can  throw  him  a  wink  to 
keep  quiet? 

Well,  I  couldn't  have  it  that  way;  it  wouldn't  do  at 
all.  I  must  go  up  the  road  and  waylay  him.  So  I 
told  the  folks  I  reckoned  I  would  go  up  to  the  town 
and  fetch  down  my  baggage.  The  old  gentleman  was 
for  going  along  with  me,  but  I  said  no,  I  could  drive 
the  horse  myself,  and  I  druther  he  wouldn't  take  no 
trouble  about  me. 


CHAPTER   XXXIII. 

SO  I  started  for  town  in  the  wagon,  and  when  I  was 
half-way  I  see  a  wagon  coming,  and  sure  enough  it 
was  Tom  Sawyer,  and  I  stopped  and  waited  till  he  come 
along.  I  says  "  Hold  on!"  and  it  stopped  alongside, 
and  his  mouth  opened  up  like  a  trunk,  and  stayed  so ; 
and  he  swallowed  two  or  three  times  like  a  person  that's 
got  a  dry  throat,  and  then  says : 

"  I  hain't  ever  done  you  no  harm.  You  know  that. 
So,  then,  what  you  want  to  come  back  and  ha'nt  me 
for?" 

I  says: 

"  I  hain't  come  back  — I  hain't  been^tf^." 

When  he  heard  my  voice  it  righted  him  up  some,  but 
he  warn't  quite  satisfied  yet.  He  says: 

"  Don't  you  play  nothing  on  me,  because  I  wouldn't 
on  you.  Honest  injun,  you  ain't  a  ghost?" 

**  Honest  injun,  I  ain't,"  I  says. 

"Well  —  I  —  I  —  well,  that  ought  to  settle  it,  of 
course;  but  I  can't  somehow  seem  to  understand  it  no 
way.  Looky  here,  warn't  you  ever  murdered  at  all  ?  " 

"No.  I  warn't  ever  murdered  at  all  —  I  played  it 
on  them.  You  come  in  here  and  feel  of  me  if  you 
don't  believe  me." 

So  he  done  it ;  and  it  satisfied  him ;  and  he  was  that 
glad  to  see  me  again  he  didn't  know  what  to  do.  And 
he  wanted  to  know  all  about  it  right  off,  because  it  was 
a  grand  adventure,  and  mysterious,  and  so  it  hit  him 

(292! 


Huckleberry  Finn  293 

where  he  lived.  But  I  said,  leave  it  alone  till  by  and 
by ;  and  told  his  driver  to  wait,  and  we  drove  off  a  little 
piece,  and  I  told  him  the  kind  of  a  fix  I  was  in,  and  what 
did  he  reckon  we  better  do?  He  said,  let  him  alone  a 
minute,  and  don't  disturb  him.  So  he  thought  and 
thought,  and  pretty  soon  he  says : 

"It's  all  right;  I've  got  it.  Take  my  trunk  in  your 
wagon,  and  let  on  it's  your'n;  and  you  turn  back  and 
fool  along  slow,  so  as  to  get  to  the  house  about  the 
time  you  ought  to;  and  I'll  go  towards  town  a  piece, 
and  take  a  fresh  start,  and  get  there  a  quarter  or  a  half 
an  hour  after  you;  and  you  needn't  let  on  to  know 
me  at  first." 

I  says: 

" All  right;  but  wait  a  minute.  There's  one  more 
thing  —  a  thing  that  nobody  den't  know  but  me.  And 
that  is,  there's  a  nigger  here  that  I'm  a-trying  to  steal 
out  of  slavery,  and  his  name  \sjim  —  old  Miss  Wat 
son's  Jim." 

He  says: 

"What!     Why,  Jim  is— " 

He  stopped  and  went  to  studying.     I  says : 

"  /  know  what  you'll  say.  You'll  say  it's  dirty,  low- 
down  business ;  but  what  if  it  is?  /'m  low  down;  and 
I'm  a-going  to  steal  him,  and  I  want  you  keep  mum 
and  not  let  on.  Will  you?" 

His  eye  lit  up,  and  he  says: 

"I'11/^you  steal  him!" 

Well,  I  let  go  all  holts  then,  like  I  was  shot.  It 
was  the  most  astonishing  speech  I  ever  heard  —  and 
I'm  bound  to  say  Tom  Sawyer  fell  considerable  in  my 
estimation.  Only  I  couldn't  believe  it.  Tom  Sawyer  a 
nigger-stonier! 

"Oh,  shucks!"   I  says;   "  you're  joking." 

"I  ain't  joking,  either." 

"  Well,  then,"  I  says,  "  joking  or  no  joking,  if  you 


294  Huckleberry  Finn 

hear  anything  said  about  a  runaway  nigger,  don't  for 
get  to  remember  that  you  don't  know  nothing  about 
him,  and  /don't  know  nothing  about  him." 

Then  we  took  the  trunk  and  put  it  in  my  wagon,  and 
he  drove  off  his  way  and  I  drove  mine.  But  of  course 
I  forgot  all  about  driving  slow  on  accounts  of  being  glad 
and  full  of  thinking;  so  I  got  home  a  heap  too  quick 
for  that  length  of  a  trip.  The  old  gentleman  was  at 
the  door,  and  he  says : 

;'Why,  this  is  wonderful!  Whoever  would  a 
thought  it  was  in  that  mare  to  do  it?  I  wish  we'd 
a  timed  her.  And  she  hain't  sweated  a  hair  —  not  a 
hair.  It's  wonderful.  Why,  I  wouldn't  take  a  hundred 
dollars  for  that  horse  now — I  wouldn't,  honest;  and 
yet  I'd  a  sold  her  for  fifteen  before,  and  thought  'twas 
all  she  was  worth." 

That's  all  he  said.  He  was  the  innocentest,  best  old 
soul  I  ever  see.  But  it  warn't  surprising;  because  he 
warn't  only  just  a  farmer,  he  was  a  preacher,  too,  and 
had  a  little  one-horse  log  church  down  back  of  the 
plantation,  which  he  built  it  himself  at  his  own  expense, 
for  a  church  and  schoolhouse,  and  never  charged  noth 
ing  for  his  preaching,  and  it  was  worth  it,  too.  There 
was  plenty  other  farmer-preachers  like  that,  and  done 
the  same  way,  down  South. 

In  about  half  an  hour  Tom's  wagon  drove  up  to  the 
front  stile,  and  Aunt  Sally  she  see  it  through  the  win 
dow,  because  it  was  only  about  fifty  yards,  and  says: 

"Why,  there's  somebody  come!  I  wonder  who 
'tis?  Why,  I  do  believe  it's  a  stranger.  Jimmy" 
(that's  one  of  the  children)'  *'  run  and  tell  Lize  to  put 
on  another  plate  for  dinner." 

Everybody  made  a  rush  for  the  front  door,  because, 
of  course,  a  stranger  don't  come  every  year,  and  so  he 
lays  over  the  yaller-fever,  for  interest,  when  he  does 
come.  Tom  was  over  the  stile  and  starting  for  the 


Huckleberry  Finn  295 

house;  the  wagon  was  spinning  up  the  road  for  the 
village,  and  we  was  all  bunched  in  the  front  door.  Tom 
had  his  store  clothes  on,  and  an  audience  —  and  that 
was  always  nuts  for  Tom  Sawyer.  In  them  circum 
stances  it  warn't  no  trouble  to  him  to  throw  in  an 
amount  of  style  that  was  suitable.  He  warn't  a  boy  to 
meeky  along  up  that  yard  like  a  sheep;  no,  he  come 
ca'm  and  important,  like  the  ram.  When  he  got  a-front 
of  us  he  lifts  his  hat  ever  so  gracious  and  dainty,  like  it 
was  the  lid  of  a  box  that  had  butterflies  asleep  in  it  and 
he  didn't  want  to  disturb  them,  and  says: 

"  Mr.  Archibald  Nichols,  I  presume?" 

"  No,  my  boy,"  says  the  old  gentleman,  "  I'm  sorry 
to  say  'tyour  driver  has  deceived  you;  Nichols's  place 
is  down  a  matter  of  three  mile  more.  Come  in,  come 
in." 

Tom  he  took  a  look  back  over  his  shoulder,  and  says, 
"Too  late  — he's  out  of  sight." 

*  Yes,  he's  gone,  my  son,  and  you  must  come  in 
and  eat  your  dinner  with  us;  and  then  we'll  hitch  up 
and  take  you  down  to  Nichols's." 

"  Oh,  I  cant  make  you  so  much  trouble;  I  couldn't 
think  of  it.  I'll  walk  —  I  don't  mind  the  distance." 

"  But  we  won't  let  you  walk  —  it  wouldn't  be  South 
ern  hospitality  to  do  it.  Come  right  in." 

"Oh,  do"  says  Aunt  Sally;  "it  ain't  a  bit  of 
trouble  to  us,  not  a  bit  in  the  world.  You  must  stay. 
It's  a  long,  dusty  three  mile,  and  we  can't  let  you  walk. 
And,  besides,  I've  already  told  'em  to  put  on  another 
plate  when  I  see  you  coming;  so  you  mustn't  disap 
point  us.  Come  right  in  and  make  yourself  at  home." 

So  Tom  he  thanked  them  very  hearty  and  handsome, 
and  let  himself  be  persuaded,  and  come  in;  and  when 
he  was  in  he  said  he  was  a  stranger  from  Hicksville, 
Ohio,  and  his  name  was  William  Thompson  —  and  he 
made  another  bow. 


296  Huckleberry  Finn 

Well,  he  run  on,  and  on,  and  on,  making  up  stuff 
about  Hicksville  and  everybody  in  it  he  could  invent, 
and  I  getting  a  little  nervious,  and  wondering  how  this 
was  going  to  help  me  out  of  my  scrape ;  and  at  last, 
still  talking  along,  he  reached  over  and  kissed  Aunt 
Sally  right  on  the  mouth,  and  then  settled  back  again 
in  his  chair  comfortable,  and  was  going  on  talking;  but 
she  jumped  up  and  wiped  it  off  with  the  back  of  her 
hand,  and  says: 

'  You  owdacious  puppy!" 

He  looked  kind  of  hurt,  and  says : 

11  I'm  surprised  at  you,  m'am." 

"  You're  s'rp —  Why,  what  do  you  reckon  /  am? 
I've  a  good  notion  to  take  and —  Say,  what  do  you 
mean  by  kissing  me?" 

He  looked  kind  of  humble,  and  says: 

"I  didn't  mean  nothing,  m'am.  I  didn't  mean  no 
harm.  I  —  I  —  thought  you'd  like  it." 

"  Why,  you  born  fool !"  She  took  up  the  spinning 
stick,  and  it  looked  like  it  was  all  she  could  do  to  keep 
from  giving  him  a  crack  with  it.  ' '  What  made  you 
think  I'd  like  it?" 

44  Well,  I  don't  know.  Only,  they  —  they  —  told 
me  you  would." 

"  They  told  you  I  would.  Whoever  told  you's 
another  lunatic.  I  never  heard  the  beat  of  it.  Who's 
they?" 

"  Why,  everybody.     They  all  said  so,  m'am." 

It  was  all  she  could  do  to  hold  in;  and  her  eyes 
snapped,  and  her  fingers  worked  like  she  wanted  to 
scratch  him  ;  and  she  says : 

"  Who's  '  everybody  '?  Out  with  their  names,  or 
ther'll  be  an  idiot  short." 

He  got  up  and  looked  distressed,  and  fumbled  his 
hat,  and  says: 

"  I'm  sorry,  and  I  warn't  expecting  it.     They  told 


Huckleberry  Finn  297 

me  to.  They  all  told  me  to.  They  all  said,  kiss  her; 
and  said  she'd  like  it.  They  all  said  it  —  every  one  of 
them.  But  I'm  sorry,  m'am,  and  I  won't  do  it  no 
more  —  I  won't,  honest." 

"You  won't,  won't  you?  Well,  I  sh'd  reckon  you 
won't!" 

"  No'm,  I'm  honest  about  it;  I  won't  ever  do  it 
again  —  till  you  ask  me." 

11  Till  I  ask  you  !  Well,  I  never  see  the  beat  of  it  in 
my  born  days  !  I  lay  you'll  be  the  Methusalem-num- 
skull  of  creation  before  ever  /  ask  you  —  or  the  likes  of 
you." 

44  Well,"  he  says,  '*  it  does  surprise  me  so.  I  can't 
make  it  out,  somehow.  They  said  you  would,  and  I 
thought  you  would.  But — "  He  stopped  and  looked 
around  slow,  like  he  wished  he  could  run  across  a 
friendly  eye  somewheres,  and  fetched  up  on  the  old 
gentleman's,  and  says,  "  Didn't  you  think  she'd  like 
me  to  kiss  her,  sir?" 

44  Why,  no;   I— I— well,  no,  I  b'lieve  I  didn't." 

Then  he  looks  on  around  the  same  way  to  me,  and 
says: 

44  Tom,  didn't  you  think  Aunt  Sally  Jd  open  out  her 
arms  and  say,  *  Sid  Sawyer — '  ' 

44  My  land  !"  she  says,  breaking  in  and  jumping  for 
him,  44you  impudent  young  rascal,  to  fool  a  body 
so — "  and  was  going  to  hug  him,  but  he  fended  her 
off,  and  says: 

44  No,  not  till  you've  asked  me  first." 

So  she  didn't  lose  no  time,  but  asked  him;  and 
hngged  him  and  kissed  him  over  and  over  again,  and 
then  turned  him  over  to  the  old  man,  and  he  took  what 
was  left.  And  after  they  got  a  little  quiet  again  she  says : 

14  Why,  dear  me,  I  never  see  such  a  surprise.  We 
warn't  looking  for  you  at  all,  but  only  Tom.  Sis  never 
wrote  to  me  about  anybody  coming  but  him." 


298  Huckleberry  Finn 

"It's  because  it  warn't  intended  for  any  of  us  to 
come  but  Tom,"  he  says;  "  but  I  begged  and  begged, 
and  at  the  last  minute  she  let  me  come,  too;  so,  com 
ing  down  the  river,  me  and  Tom  thought  it  would  be 
a  first-rate  surprise  for  him  to  come  here  to  the  house 
first,  and  for  me  to  by  and  by  tag  along  and  drop  in, 
and  let  on  to  be  a  stranger.  But  it  was  a  mistake, 
Aunt  Sally.  This  ain't  no  healthy  place  for  a  stranger 
to  come." 

"No  —  not  impudent  whelps,  Sid.  You  ought  to 
had  your  jaws  boxed;  I  hain't  been  so  put  out  since  I 
don't  know  when.  But  I  don't  care,  I  don't  mind 
the  terms  —  I'd  be  willing  to  stand  a  thousand  such 
jokes  to  have  you  here.  Well,  to  think  of  that  per 
formance  !  I  don't  deny  it,  I  was  most  putrified  with 
astonishment  when  you  give  me  that  smack." 

We  had  dinner  out  in  that  broad  open  passage  be 
twixt  the  house  and  the  kitchen ;  and  there  was  things 
enough  on  that  table  for  seven  families  —  and  all  hot, 
too;  none  of  your  flabby,  tough  meat  that's  laid  in  a 
cupboard  in  a  damp  cellar  all  night  and  tastes  like  a 
hunk  of  old  cold  cannibal  in  the  morning.  Uncle 
Silas  he  asked  a  pretty  long  blessing  over  it,  but  it  was 
worth  it ;  and  it  didn't  cool  it  a  bit,  neither,  the  way 
I've  seen  them  kind  of  interruptions  do  lots  of  times. 

There  was  a  considerable  good  deal  of  talk  all  the 
afternoon,  and  me  and  Tom  was  on  the  lookout  all  the 
time ;  but  it  warn't  no  use,  they  didn't  happen  to  say 
nothing  about  any  runaway  nigger,  and  we  was  afraid 
to  try  to  work  up  to  it.  But  at  supper,  at  night,  one 
of  the  little  boys  says : 

"  Pa,  mayn't  Tom  and  Sid  and  me  go  to  the  show?" 

"  No,"  says  the  old  man,  "  I  reckon  there  ain't  go 
ing  to  be  any;  and  you  couldn't  go  if  there  was;  be 
cause  the  runaway  nigger  told  Burton  and  me  all  about 
that  scandalous  show,  and  Burton  said  he  would  tell  the 


Huckleberry  Finn  299 

people ;  so  I  reckon  they've  drove  the  owdacious  loaf 
ers  out  of  town  before  this  time." 

So  there  it  was  ! — but  /  couldn't  help  it.  Tom  and 
me  was  to  sleep  in  the  same  room  and  bed;  so,  being 
tired,  we  bid  good-night  and  went  up  to  bed  right  after 
supper,  and  clumb  out  of  the  window  and  down  the 
lightning-rod,  and  shoved  for  the  town;  for  I  didn't 
believe  anybody  was  going  to  give  the  king  and  the 
duke  a  hint,  and  so  if  I  didn't  hurry  up  and  give  them 
one  they'd  get  into  trouble  sure. 

On  the  road  Tom  he  told  me  all  about  how  it  was 
reckoned  I  was  murdered,  and  how  pap  disappeared 
pretty  soon,  and  didn't  come  back  no  more,  and  what 
a  stir  there  was  when  Jim  run  away ;  and  I  told  Tom 
all  about  our  Royal  Nonesuch  rapscallions,  and  as 
much  of  the  raft  voyage  as  I  had  time  to ;  and  as  we 
struck  into  the  town  and  up  through  the  middle  of  it  — 
it  was  as  much  as  half-after  eight  then  —  here  comes  a 
raging  rush  of  people  with  torches,  and  an  awful 
whooping  and  yelling,  and  banging  tin  pans  and  blow 
ing  horns ;  and  we  jumped  to  one  side  to  let  them  go 
by ;  and  as  they  went  by  I  see  they  had  the  king  and 
the  duke  astraddle  of  a  rail  —  that  is,  I  knowed  it  was 
the  king  and  the  duke,  though  they  was  all  over  tar  and 
feathers,  and  didn't  look  like  nothing  in  the  world  that 
was  human  —  just  looked  like  a  couple  of  monstrous 
big  soldier-plumes.  Well,  it  made  me  sick  to  see  it; 
and  I  was  sorry  for  them  poor  pitiful  rascals,  it  seemed 
like  I  couldn't  ever  feel  any  hardness  against  them  any 
more  in  the  world.  It  was  a  dreadful  thing  to  see. 
Human  beings  can  be  awful  cruel  to  one  another. 

We  see  we  was  too  late  —  couldn't  do  no  good.  We 
asked  some  stragglers  about  it,  and  they  said  everybody 
went  to  the  show  looking  very  innocent;  and  laid 
low  and  kept  dark  till  the  poor  old  king  was  in  the 
middle  of  his  cavortings  on  the  stage;  then  somebody 


300  Huckleberry  Finn 

give   a  signal,   and   the  house  rose  up   and  went  for 
them. 

So  we  poked  along  back  home,  and  I  warn't  feeling 
so  brash  as  I  was  before,  but  kind  of  ornery,  and 
humble,  and  to  blame,  somehow  —  though  /  hadn't 
done  nothing.  But  that's  always  the  way;  it  don't 
make  no  difference  whether  you  do  right  or  wrong,  a 
person's  conscience  ain't  got  no  sense,  and  just  goes  for 
him  anyway.  If  I  had  a  yaller  dog  that  didn't  know 
no  more  than  a  person's  conscience  does  I  would  pison 
him.  It  takes  up  more  room  than  all  the  rest  of  a 
person's  insides,  and  yet  ain't  no  good,  nohow.  Tom 
Sawyer  he  says  the  same. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

WE  stopped  talking,  and  got  to  thinking.  By  and  by 
Tom  says: 

"  Looky  here,  Huck,  what  fools  we  are  to  not  think 
of  it  before  !  I  bet  I  know  where  Jim  is." 

'4No!     Where?" 

"  In  that  hut  down  by  the  ash-hopper.  Why,  looky 
here.  When  we  was  at  dinner,  didn't  you  see  a  nigger 
man  go  in  there  with  some  vittles?" 

"Yes." 

"  What  did  you  think  the  vittles  was  for?" 

"For  a  dog." 

'•  So  'd  I.     Well,  it  wasn't  for  a  dog." 

"Why?" 

"  Because  part  of  it  was  watermelon." 

''So  it  was  —  I  noticed  it.  Well,  it  does  beat  all 
that  I  never  thought  about  a  dog  not  eating  water 
melon.  It  shows  how  a  body  can  see  and  don't  see  at 
the  same  time." 

"Well,  the  nigger  unlocked  the  padlock  when  he 
went  in,  and  he  locked  it  again  when  he  came  out.  He 
fetched  uncle  a  key  about  the  time  we  got  up  from 
table  —  same  key,  I  bet.  Watermelon  shows  man, 
lock  shows  prisoner;  and  it  ain't  likely  there's  two 
prisoners  on  such  a  little  plantation,  and  where  the 
people's  all  so  kind  and  good.  Jim's  the  prisoner. 
All  right — I'm  glad  we  found  it  out  detective  fashion; 
I  wouldn't  give  shucks  for  any  other  way.  Now  you 
work  your  mind  and  study  out  a  plan  to  steal  Jim,  and 

(301) 


302  Huckleberry  Finn 

I  will  study  out  one,  too ;  and  we'll  take  the  one  we. 
like  the  best." 

What  a  head  for  just  a  boy  to  have  !  If  I  had  Tom 
Sawyer's  head  I  wouldn't  trade  it  off  to  be  a  duke,  nor 
mate  of  a  steamboat,  nor  clown  in  a  circus,  nor  nothing 
I  can  think  of.  I  went  to  thinking  out  a  plan,  but  only 
just  to  be  doing  something ;  I  knowed  very  well  where 
the  right  plan  was  going  to  come  from.  Pretty  soon 
Tom  says: 

"Ready?" 

"Yes,"  I  says. 

"  All  right  —  bring  it  out." 

"  My  plan  is  this,"  I  says.  "  We  can  easy  find  out 
if  it's  Jim  in  there.  Then  get  up  my  canoe  to-morrow 
night,  and  fetch  my  raft  over  from  the  island.  Then 
the  first  dark  night  that  comes  steal  the  key  out  of  the 
old  man's  britches  after  he  goes  to  bed,  and  shove  off 
down  the  river  on  the  raft  with  Jim,  hiding  daytimes 
and  running  nights,  the  way  me  and  Jim  used  to  do  be 
fore.  Wouldn't  that  plan  work?" 

"Work?  Why,  cert'nly  it  would  work,  like  rats 
a-fighting.  But  it's  too  blame'  simple;  there  ain't 
nothing  to  it.  What's  the  good  of  a  plan  that  ain't  no 
more  trouble  than  that?  It's  as  mild  as  goose-milk. 
Why,  Huck,  it  wouldn't  make  no  more  talk  than  break 
ing  into  a  soap  factory." 

I  never  said  nothing,  because  I  warn't  expecting  noth 
ing  different;  but  I  knowed  mighty  well  that  whenever 
he  got  his  plan  ready  it  wouldn't  have  none  of  them 
objections  to  it. 

And  it  didn't.  He  told  me  what  it  was,  and  I  see  in 
a  minute  it  was  worth  fifteen  of  mine  for  style,  and 
would  make  Jim  just  as  free  a  man  as  mine  would,  and 
maybe  get  us  all  killed  besides.  So  I  was  satisfied,  and 
said  we  would  waltz  in  on  it.  I  needn't  tell  what  it 
was  here,  because  I  knowed  it  v/ouldn't  stay  the  way  it 


Huckleberry  Finn  303 

was.  I  knowed  he  would  be  changing  it  around  every 
which  way  as  we  went  along,  and  heaving  in  new  bull- 
i nesses  wherever  he  got  a  chance.  And  that  is  what 
he  done. 

Well,  one  thing  was  dead  sure,  and  that  was  that  Tom 
Sawyer  was  in  earnest,  and  was  actuly  going  to  help 
steal  that  nigger  out  of  slavery.  That  was  the  thing 
that  was  too  many  for  me.  Here  was  a  boy  that  was 
respectable  and  well  brung  up ;  and  had  a  character  to 
lose ;  and  folks  at  home  that  had  characters ;  and  he 
was  bright  and  not  leather-headed ;  and  knowing  and 
not  ignorant;  and  not  mean,  but  kind;  and  yet  here 
he  was,  without  any  more  pride,  or  Tightness,  or  feel 
ing,  than  to  stoop  to  this  business,  and  make  himself  a 
shame,  and  his  family  a  shame,  before  everybody.  I 
couldnt  understand  it  no  way  at  all.  It  was  outra 
geous,  and  I  knowed  I  ought  to  just  up  and  tell  him  so ; 
and  so  be  his  true  friend,  and  let  him  quit  the  thing 
right  where  he  was  and  save  himself.  And  I  did  start 
to  tell  him;  but  he  shut  me  up,  and  says: 

"  Don't  you  reckon  I  know  what  I'm  about?  Don't 
I  generly  know  what  I'm  about?" 

'Yes." 

"  Didn't  I  say  I  was  going  to  help  steal  the  nigger?" 

41  Yes." 

"Well,  then." 

That's  all  he  said,  and  that's  all  I  said.  It  warn't  no 
use  to  say  any  more;  because  when  he  said  he'd  do  a 
thing,  he  always  done  it.  But  7  couldn't  make  out 
how  he  was  willing  to  go  into  this  thing;  so  I  just  let  it 
go,  and  never  bothered  no  more  about  it.  If  he  was 
bound  to  have  it  so,  /couldn't  help  it. 

When  we  got  home  the  house  was  all  dark  and  still ; 
so  we  went  on  down  to  the  hut  by  the  ash-hopper  for 
to  examine  it.  We  went  through  the  yard  so  as  to  see 
what  the  hounds  would  do.  They  knowed  us,  and 


304  Huckleberry  Finn 

didn't  make  no  more  noise  than  country  dogs  is  always 
doing  when  anything  comes  by  in  the  night.  When 
we  got  to  the  cabin  we  took  a  look  at  the  front  and  the 
two  sides;  and  on  the  side  I  warn't  acquainted  with  — 
which  was  the  north  side  —  we  found  a  square  window- 
hole,  up  tolerable  high,  with  just  one  stout  board  nailed 
across  it.  I  says : 

"  Here's  the  ticket.  This  hole's  big  enough  for  Jim 
to  get  through  if  we  wrench  off  the  board." 

Tom  says: 

"  It's  as  simple  as  tit-tat-toe,  three-in-a-row,  and  as 
easy  as  playing  hooky.  I  should  hope  we  can  find  a 
way  that's  a  little  more  complicated  than  that,  Huck 
Finn." 

"  Well,  then,"  I  says,  "  how  '11  it  do  to  saw  him  out, 
the  way  I  done  before  I  was  murdered  that  time?" 

"  That's  more  like"  he  says.  "  It's  real  mysterious, 
and  troublesome,  and  good,"  he  says;  "  but  I  bet  we 
can  find  a  way  that's  twice  as  long.  There  ain't  no 
hurry;  le's  keep  on  looking  around." 

Betwixt  the  hut  and  the  fence,  on  the  back  side,  was 
a  lean-to  that  joined  the  hut  at  the  eaves,  and  was  made 
out  of  plank.  It  was  as  long  as  the  hut,  but  narrow 
—  only  about  six  foot  wide.  The  door  to  it  was  at  the 
south  end,  and  was  padlocked.  Tom  he  went  to  the 
soap-kettle  and  searched  around,  and  fetched  back  the 
iron  thing  they  lift  the  lid  with ;  so  he  took  it  and 
prized  out  one  of  the  staples.  The  chain  fell  down, 
and  we  opened  the  door  and  went  in,  and  shut  it,  and 
struck  a  match,  and  see  the  shed  was  only  built  against 
a  cabin  and  hadn't  no  connection  with  it;  and  there 
warn't  no  floor  to  the  shed,  nor  nothing  in  it  but  some 
old  rusty  played-out  hoes  and  spades  and  picks  and 
a  crippled  plow.  The  match  went  out,  and  so  did  we, 
and  shoved  in  the  staple  again,  and  the  door  was  locked 
as  good  as  ever.  Tom  was  joyful.  He  says: 


Huckleberry  Finn  305 

"Now  we're  all  right.  We'll  dig  him  out.  It  '11 
take  about  a  week  ! ' ' 

Then  we  started  for  the  house,  and  I  went  in  the 
back  door  —  you  only  have  to  pull  a  buckskin  latch- 
string,  they  don't  fasten  the  doors  —  but  that  warn't 
romantical  enough  for  Tom  Sawyer ;  no  way  would  do 
him  but  he  must  climb  up  the  lightning-rod.  But  after 
he  got  up  half  way  about  three  times,  and  missed  fire 
and  fell  every  time,  and  the  last  time  most  busted  his 
brains  out,  he  thought  he'd  got  to  give  it  up ;  but  after 
he  was  rested  he  allowed  he  would  give  her  one  more 
turn  for  luck,  and  this  time  he  made  the  trip. 

In  the  morning  we  was  up  at  break  of  day,  and  down 
to  the  nigger  cabins  to  pet  the  dogs  and  make  friends 
with  the  nigger  that  fed  Jim  —  if  it  was  Jim  that  was 
being  fed.  The  niggers  was  just  getting  through  break 
fast  and  starting  for  the  fields ;  and  Jim's  nigger  was 
piling  up  a  tin  pan  with  bread  and  meat  and  things ; 
and  whilst  the  others  was  leaving,  the  key  come  from 
the  house. 

This  nigger  had  a  good-natured,  chuckle-headed  face, 
and  his  wool  was  all  tied  up  in  little  bunches  with 
thread.  That  was  to  keep  witches  off.  He  said  the 
witches  was  pestering  him  awful  these  nights,  and  mak 
ing  him  see  all  kinds  of  strange  things,  and  hear  all  kinds 
of  strange  words  and  noises,  and  he  didn't  believe  he 
was  ever  witched  so  long  before  in  his  life.  He  got 
so  worked  up,  and  got  to  running  on  so  about  his 
troubles,  he  forgot  all  about  what  he'd  been  a-going  to 
do.  So  Tom  says: 

"  What's  the  vittles  for?     Going  to  feed  the  dogs?" 

The  nigger  kind  of  smiled  around  graduly  over  his 
face,  like  when  you  heave  a  brickbat  in  a  mud-puddle, 
and  he  says: 

'  Yes,  Mars  Sid,  a  dog.     Cur'us  dog,  too.     Does 
you  want  to  go  en  look  at  'im?" 
20 


306  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Yes." 

I  hunched  Tom,  and  whispers: 

"You  going,  right  here  in  the  daybreak?  That 
warn't  the  plan." 

"  No,  it  warn't;  but  it's  the  plan  now?' 

So,  drat  him,  we  went  along,  but  I  didn't  like  it 
much.  When  we  got  in  we  couldn't  hardly  see  any 
thing,  it  was  so  dark;  but  Jim  was  there,  sure  enough, 
and  could  see  us ;  and  he  sings  out : 

1 '  Why,  Huck  !   En  good  Ian!  ain'  dat  Misto  Tom  ?  " 

I  just  knowed  how  it  would  be ;  I  just  expected  it. 
/  didn't  know  nothing  to  do;  and  if  I  had  I  couldn't 
a  done  it,  because  that  nigger  busted  in  and  says : 

'  *  Why,  de  gracious  sakes !  do  he  know  you  genl- 
men?" 

We  could  see  pretty  well  now.  Tom  he  looked  at 
the  nigger,  steady  and  kind  of  wondering,  and  says : 

"  Does  who  know  us?" 

"Why,  dis-yer  runaway  nigger." 

"I  don't  reckon  he  does;  but  what  put  that  into 
your  head?" 

"  What  put  it  dar?  Didn'  he  jis'  dis  minute  sing 
out  like  he  knowed  you?" 

Tom  says,  in  a  puzzled-up  kind  of  way: 

"Well,  that's  mighty  curious.  \Vho  sung  out? 
When  did  he  sing  out?  What  did  he  sing  out?" 
And  turns  to  me,  perfectly  ca'm,  and  says,  "Did 
you  hear  anybody  sing  out?" 

Of  course  there  warn't  nothing  to  be  said  but  the  one 
thing;  so  I  says: 

"  No ;  /ain't  heard  nobody  say  nothing." 

Then  he  turns  to  Jim,  and  looks  him  over  like  he 
never  see  him  before,  and  says : 

"  Did  you  sing  out?" 

"No,  sah,"  says  Jim;  "/hain'tsaid  nothing,  sah." 

"Not  a  word?" 


Huckleberry  Finn  307 

"  No,  sah,  I  hain't  said  a  word." 

11  Did  you  ever  see  us  before?" 

4 'No,  sah;   not  as  /  knows  on." 

So  Tom  turns  to  the  nigger,  which  was  looking  wild 
and  distressed,  and  says,  kind  of  severe: 

"  What  do  you  reckon's  the  matter  with  you,  any 
way?  What  made  you  think  somebody  sung  out?" 

44  Oh,  it's  de  dad-blame'  witches,  sah,  en  I  wisht  I 
was  dead,  I  do.  Dey's  awluz  at  it,  sah,  en  dey  do 
mos'  kill  me,  dey  sk'yers  me  so.  Please  to  don't  tell 
nobody  'bout  it  sah,  er  ole  Mars  Silas  he'll  scole  me; 
'kase  he  say  dey  ain't  no  witches.  I  jis'  wish  to  good 
ness  he  was  heah  now  —  den  what  would  he  say !  I 
jis'  bet  he  couldn'  fine  no  way  to  git  aroun'  it  dis  time. 
But  it's  awluz  jis'  so;  people  dat's  sot,  stays  sot;  dey 
won't  look  into  noth'n'en  fine  it  out  f'r  deyselves,  en 
whenj<?&  fine  it  out  en  tell  um  'bout  it,  dey  doan' 
b'lieve  you." 

Tom  give  him  a  dime,  and  said  we  wouldn't  tell  no 
body  ;  and  told  him  to  buy  some  more  thread  to  tie  up 
his  wool  with;  and  then  looks  at  Jim,  and  says: 

"  I  wonder  if  Uncle  Silas  is  going  to  hang  this  nigger. 
If  I  was  to  catch  a  nigger  that  was  ungrateful  enough 
to  run  away,  /  wouldn't  give  him  up,  I'd  hang  him." 
And  whilst  the  nigger  stepped  to  the  door  to  look  at 
the  dime  and  bite  it  to  see  if  it  was  good,  he  whispers 
to  Jim  and  says : 

"  Don't  ever  let  on  to  know  us.  And  if  you  hear 
any  digging  going  on  nights,  it's  us;  we're  going  to 
set  you  free." 

Jim  only  had  time  to  grab  us  by  the  hand  and  squeeze 
it;  then  the  nigger  come  back,  and  we  said  we'd 
come  again  some  time  if  the  nigger  wanted  us  to ;  and 
he  said  he  would,  more  particular  if  it  was  dark,  be 
cause  the  witches  went  for  him  mostly  in  the  dark,  and 
it  was  good  to  have  folks  around  then. 
T 


CHAPTER   XXXV. 

IT  would  be  most  an  hour  yet  till  breakfast,  so  we  left 
and  struck  down  into  the  woods ;  because  Tom  said 
we  got  to  have  some  light  to  see  how  to  dig  by,  and  a 
lantern  makes  too  much,  and  might  get  us  into  trouble; 
what  we  must  have  was  a  lot  of  them  rotten  chunks 
that's  called  fox-fire,  and  just  makes  a  soft  kind  of  a 
glow  when  you  lay  them  in  a  dark  place.  We  fetched 
an  armful  and  hid  it  in  the  weeds,  and  set  down  to  rest, 
and  Tom  says,  kind  of  dissatisfied: 

"Blame  it,  this  whole  thing  is  just  as  easy  and 
awkward  as  it  can  be.  And  so  it  makes  it  so  rotten 
difficult  to  get  up  a  difficult  plan.  There  ain't  no  watch 
man  to  be  drugged  —  now  there  ought  to  be  a  watch 
man.  There  ain't  even  a  dog  to  give  a  sleeping-mix 
ture  to.  And  there's  Jim  chained  by  one  leg,  with  a 
ten-foot  chain,  to  the  leg  of  his  bed:  why,  all  you  got 
to  do  is  to  lift  up  the  bedstead  and  slip  off  the  chain. 
And  Uncle  Silas  he  trusts  everybody ;  sends  the  key 
to  the  punkin-headed  nigger,  and  don't  send  nobody  to 
watch  the  nigger.  Jim  could  a  got  out  of  that  window- 
hole  before  this,  only  there  wouldn't  be  no  use  trying 
to  travel  with  a  ten-foot  chain  on  his  leg.  Why,  drat 
it,  Huck,  it's  the  stupidest  arrangement  I  ever  see. 
You  got  to  invent  all  the  difficulties.  Well,  we  can't 
help  it ;  we  got  to  do  the  best  we  can  with  the  materials 
we've  got.  Anyhow,  there's  one  thing  —  there's  more 

(308) 


Huckleberry  Finn  309 

honor  in  getting  him  out  through  a  lot  of  difficulties 
and  dangers,  where  there  warn't  one  of  them  furnished 
to  you  by  the  people  who  it  was  their  duty  to  furnish 
them,  and  you  had  to  contrive  them  all  out  of  your 
own  head.  Now  look  at  just  that  one  thing  of  the 
lantern.  When  you  come  down  to  the  cold  facts,  we 
simply  got  to  let  on  that  a  lantern's  resky.  Why,  we 
could  work  with  a  torchlight  procession  if  we  wanted 
to,  /  believe.  Now,  whilst  I  think  of  it,  we  got  to 
hunt  up  something  to  make  a  saw  out  of  the  first 
chance  we  get." 

11  What  do  we  want  of  a  saw?" 

"What  do  we  want  of  a  saw?  Hain't  we  got  to 
saw  the  leg  of  Jim's  bed  off,  so  as  to  get  the  chain 
loose?" 

"  Why,  you  just  said  a  body  could  lift  up  the  bed 
stead  and  slip  the  chain  off." 

"  Well,  if  that  ain't  just  like  you,  Huck  Finn.  You 
can  get  up  the  infant-schooliest  ways  of  going  at  a 
thing.  Why,  hain't  you  ever  read  any  books  at  all? 
—  Baron  Trenck,  nor  Casanova,  nor  Benvenuto  Chel- 
leeny,  nor  Henri  IV.,  nor  none  of  them  heroes?  Who 
ever  heard  of  getting  a  prisoner  loose  in  such  an  old- 
maidy  way  as  that  ?  No ;  the  way  all  the  best  authori 
ties  does  is  to  saw  the  bed-leg  in  two,  and  leave  it  just 
so,  and  swallow  the  sawdust,  so  it  can't  be  found,  and 
put  some  dirt  and  grease  around  the  sawed  place  so  the 
very  keenest  seneskal  can't  see  no  sign  of  it's  being 
sawed,  and  thinks  the  bed-leg  is  perfectly  sound.  Then, 
the  night  you're  ready,  fetch  the  leg  a  kick,  down  she 
goes;  slip  off  your  chain,  and  there  you  are.  Nothing 
to  do  but  hitch  your  rope  ladder  to  the  battlements,  shin 
down  it,  break  your  leg  in  the  moat — because  a  rope 
ladder  is  nineteen  foot  too  short,  you  know — and  there's 
your  horses  and  your  trusty  vassles,  and  they  scoop 
you  up  and  fling  you  across  a  saddle,  and  away  you  go 


310  Huckleberry  Finn 

to  your  native  Langudoc,  or  Navarre,  or  wherever  it  is. 
It's  gaudy,  Huck.  I  wish  there  was  a  moat  to  this 
cabin.  If  we  get  time,  the  night  of  the  escape, 
we'll  dig  one." 

I  says: 

"  What  do  we  want  of  a  moat  when  we're  going  to 
snake  him  out  from  under  the  cabin?" 

But  he  never  heard  me.  He  had  forgot  me  and 
everything  else.  He  had  his  chin  in  his  hand,  thinking. 
Pretty  soon  he  sighs  and  shakes  his  head ;  then  sighs 
again,  and  says: 

"No,  it  wouldn't  do  —  there  ain't  necessity  enough 
for  it." 

"  For  what?"  I  says. 

14  Why,  to  saw  Jim's  leg  off,"  he  says. 

"  Good  land  !"  I  says;  "  why,  there  ain't  no  neces 
sity  for  it.  And  what  would  you  want  to  saw  his  leg 
off  for,  anyway?" 

"Well,  some  of  the  best  authorities  has  done  it. 
They  couldn't  get  the  chain  off,  so  they  just  cut  their 
hand  off  and  shoved.  And  a  leg  would  be  better  still. 
But  we  got  to  let  that  go.  There  ain't  necessity 
enough  in  this  case;  and,  besides,  Jim's  a  nigger,  and 
wouldn't  understand  the  reasons  for  it,  and  how  it's  the 
custom  in  Europe;  so  we'll  let  it  go.  But  there's  one 
thing  —  he  can  have  a  rope  ladder;  we  can  tear  up  our 
sheets  and  make  him  a  rope  ladder  easy  enough.  And 
we  can  send  it  to  him  in  a  pie;  it's  mostly  done  that 
way.  And  I've  et  worse  pies." 

"  Why,  Tom  Sawyer,  how  you  talk/'  I  says;  "  Jim 
ain't  got  no  use  for  a  rope  ladder." 

"  He  has  got  use  for  it.  How  you  talk,  you  better 
say;  you  don't  know  nothing  about  it.  He's^/  to 
have  a  rope  ladder;  they  all  do." 

"  What  in  the  nation  can  he  do  with  it?" 

"Do  with  it?     He  can  hide  it  in  his  bed,  can't  he? 


Huckleberry  Finn  311 

That's  what  they  all  do;  and  he's  got  to,  too. 
Huck,  you  don't  ever  seem  to  want  to  do  anything 
that's  regular;  you  want  to  be  starting  something  fresh 
all  the  time.  S'pose  he  dorit  do  nothing  with  it?  ain't 
it  there  in  his  bed,  for  a  clew,  after  he's  gone?  and 
don't  you  reckon  they'll  want  clews?  Of  course  they 
will.  And  you  wouldn't  leave  them  any?  That  would 
be  a  pretty  howdy-do,  wouldn't  it!  I  never  heard  of 
such  a  thing." 

"  Well,"  I  says,  "  if  it's  in  the  regulations,  and  he's 
got  to  have  it,  all  right,  let  him  have  it;  because  I 
don't  wish  to  go  back  on  no  regulations;  but  there's 
one  thing,  Tom  Sawyer — if  we  go  to  tearing  up  our 
sheets  to  make  Jim  a  rope  ladder,  we're  going  to  get 
into  trouble  with  Aunt  Sally,  just  as  sure  as  you're 
born.  Now,  the  way  I  look  at  it,  a  hickry-bark  ladder 
don't  cost  nothing,  and  don't  waste  nothing,  and  is 
just  as  good  to  load  up  a  pie  with,  and  hide  in  a  straw 
tick,  as  any  rag  ladder  you  can  start;  and  as  for  Jim, 
he  ain't  had  no  experience,  and  so  he  don't  care  what 
kind  of  a—" 

44  Oh,  shucks,  Huck  Finn,  if  I  was  as  ignorant  as 
you  I'd  keep  still  —  that's  what  I'd  do.  Who  ever 
heard  of  a  state  prisoner  escaping  by  a  hickry-bark 
ladder?  Why,  it's  perfectly  ridiculous." 

"  Well,  all  right,  Tom,  fix  it  your  own  way;  but  if 
you'll  take  my  advice,  you'll  let  me  borrow  a  sheet  off 
of  the  clothesline." 

Pie  said  that  would  do.  And  that  gave  him  another 
idea,  and  he  says: 

44  Borrow  a  shirt,  too." 
44  What  do  we  want  of  a  shirt,  Tom?" 
;<  Want  it  for  Jim  to  keep  a  journal  on." 
44  Journal  your  granny  — -Jim  can't  write." 
14  S'pose  he  cant  write  —  he    can   make  marks    on 
the    shirt,  can't   he,  if   we    make  him   a   pen    out  of 


312  Huckleberry  Finn 

an  old  pewter  spoon  or  a  piece  of  an  old  iron  barrel- 
hoop?" 

"  Why,  Tom,  we  can  pull  a  feather  out  of  a  goose 
and  make  him  a  better  one;  and  quicker,  too." 

"Prisoners  don't  have  geese  running  around  the 
donjon-keep  to  pull  pens  out  of,  you  muggins.  They 
always  make  their  pens  out  of  the  hardest,  toughest, 
troublesomest  piece  of  old  brass  candlestick  or  some 
thing  like  that  they  can  get  their  hands  on ;  and  it 
takes  them  weeks  and  weeks  and  months  and  months 
to  file  it  out,  too,  because  they've  got  to  do  it  by  rub 
bing  it  on  the  wall.  They  wouldn't  use  a  goose-quill  if 
they  had  it.  It  ain't  regular." 

11  Well,  then,  what' 11  we  make  him  the  ink  out  of?" 

"Many  makes  it  out  of  iron-rust  and  tears;  but 
that's  the  common  sort  and  women;  the  best  authori 
ties  uses  their  own  blood.  Jim  can  do  that;  and  when 
he  wants  to  send  any  little  common  ordinary  mysterious 
message  to  let  the  world  know  where  he's  captivated, 
he  can  write  it  on  the  bottom  of  a  tin  plate  with  a  fork 
and  throw  it  out  of  the  window.  The  Iron  Mask 
always  done  that,  and  it's  a  blame'  good  way,  too." 

"Jim  ain't  got  no  tin  plates.  They  feed  him  in  a 
pan." 

"That  ain't  nothing;    we  can  get  him  some." 

"  Can't  nobody  read  his  plates." 

"  That  ain't  got  anything  to  do  with  it,  Huck  Finn. 
All  hes  got  to  do  is  to  write  on  the  plate  and  throw 
it  out.  You  don't  have  to  be  able  to  read  it.  Why, 
half  the  time  you  can't  read  anything  a  prisoner  writes 
on  a  tin  plate,  or  anywhere  else." 

"  Well,  then,  what's  the  sense  in  wasting  the  plates?" 

"  Why,  blame  it  all,  it  ain't  the  prisoner 's  plates." 

*'  But  it's  somebody's  plates,  ain't  it?" 

"Well,  spos'n  it  is?  What  does  the  prisoner  care 
whose — " 


Huckleberry  Finn  313 

He  broke  off  there,  because  we  heard  the  breakfast- 
horn  blowing.  So  we  cleared  out  for  the  house. 

Along  during  the  morning  I  borrowed  a  sheet  and  a 
white  shirt  off  of  the  clothes-line ;  and  I  found  an  old 
sack  and  put  them  in  it,  and  we  went  down  and  got  the 
fox-fire,  and  put  that  in  too.  I  called  it  borrowing, 
because  that  was  what  pap  always  called  it ;  but  Tom 
said  it  warn't  borrowing,  it  was  stealing.  He  said  we 
was  representing  prisoners ;  and  prisoners  don't  care 
how  they  get  a  thing  so  they  get  it,  and  nobody  don't 
blame  them  for  it,  either.  It  ain't  no  crime  in  a 
prisoner  to  steal  the  thing  he  needs  to  get  away  with, 
Tom  said;  it's  his  right;  and  so,  as  long  as  we  was 
representing  a  prisoner,  we  had  a  perfect  right  to  steal 
anything  on  this  place  we  had  the  least  use  for  to  get 
ourselves  out  of  prison  with.  He  said  if  we  warn't 
prisoners  it  would  be  a  very  different  thing,  and  nobody 
but  a  mean,  ornery  person  would  steal  when  he  warn't 
a  prisoner.  So  we  allowed  we  would  steal  every 
thing  there  was  that  come  handy.  And  yet  he  made 
a  mighty  fuss,  one  day,  after  that,  when  I  stole  a 
watermelon  out  of  the  nigger-patch  and  eat  it ;  and  he 
made  me  go  and  give  the  niggers  a  dime  without  telling 
them  what  it  was  for.  Tom  said  that  what  he  meant 
was,  we  could  steal  anything  we  needed.  Well,  I  says, 
I  needed  the  watermelon.  But  he  said  I  didn't  need  it 
to  get  out  of  prison  with;  there's  where  the  difference 
was.  He  said  if  I'd  a  wanted  it  to  hide  a  knife  in,  and 
smuggle  it  to  Jim  to  kill  the  seneskal  with,  it  would  a 
been  all  right.  So  I  let  it  go  at  that,  though  I  couldn't 
see  no  advantage  in  my  representing  a  prisoner  if  I  got 
to  set  down  and  chaw  over  a  lot  of  gold-leaf  distinctions 
like  that  every  time  I  see  a  chance  to  hog  a  watermelon. 

Well,  as  I  was  saying,  we  waited  that  morning  till 
everybody  was  settled  down  to  business,  and  nobody 
in  sight  around  the  yard ;  then  Tom  he  carried  the 


314  Huckleberry  Finn 

sack  into  the  lean-to  whilst  I  stood  off  a  piece  to  keep 
watch.  By  and  by  he  come  out,  and  we  went  and  set 
down  on  the  woodpile  to  talk.  He  says : 

"  Everything's  all  right  now  except  tools;  and  that's 
easy  fixed." 

4 'Tools?"   I  says. 

"Yes." 

"Tools  for  what?" 

11  Why,  to  dig  with.  We  ain't  a-going  to  gnaw  him 
out,  are  we?" 

"  Ain't  them  old  crippled  picks  and  things  in  there 
good  enough  to  dig  a  nigger  out  with?"  I  says. 

He  turns  on  me,  looking  pitying  enough  to  make  a 
body  cry,  and  says : 

"  Huck  Finn,  did  you  ever  hear  of  a  prisoner  having 
picks  and  shovels,  and  all  the  modern  conveniences  in 
his  wardrobe  to  dig  himself  out  with?  Now  I  want  to 
ask  you  —  if  you  got  any  reasonableness  in  you  at  all 
—  what  kind  of  a  show  would  that  give  him  to  be  a 
hero?  Why,  they  might  as  well  lend  him  the  key  and 
done  with  it.  Picks  and  shovels  —  why,  they  wouldn't 
furnish  'em  to  a  king." 

"  Well,  then,"  I  says,  "if  we  don't  want  the  picks 
and  shovels,  what  do  we  want?" 

"  A  couple  of  case-knives." 

"  To  dig  the  foundations  out  from  under  that  cabin 
with?" 

"Yes." 

"  Confound  it,  it's  foolish,  Tom." 

"  It  don't  make  no  difference  how  foolish  it  is,  it's 
the  right  way  —  and  it's  the  regular  way.  And  there 
ain't  no  ot/terway,  that  ever  7  heard  of,  and  I've  read 
all  the  books  that  gives  any  information  about  these 
things.  They  always  dig  out  with  a  case-knife  —  and 
not  through  dirt,  mind  you ;  generly  it's  through  solid 
rock.  And  it  takes  them  weeks  and  weeks  and  weeks, 


Huckleberry  Finn  315 

and  for  ever  and  ever.  Why,  look  at  one  of  them 
prisoners  in  the  bottom  dungeon  of  the  Castle  Deef,  in 
the  harbor  of  Marseilles,  that  dug  himself  out  that  way ; 
how  long  was  he  at  it,  you  reckon?" 

"I  don't  know." 

"Well,  guess." 

"  I  don't  know.     A  month  and  a  half." 

''Thirty-seven  year — and  he  come  out  in  China. 
That's  the  kind.  I  wish  the  bottom  of  this  fortress 
was  solid  rock." 

"  Jim  don't  know  nobody  in  China." 

"  What' sthat  got  to  do  with  it?  Neither  did  that 
other  fellow.  But  you're  always  a-wandering  off  on  a 
side  issue.  Why  can't  you  stick  to  the  main  point?" 

"All  right  —  /don't  care  where  he  comes  out,  so  he 
comes  out;  and  Jim  don't,  either,  I  reckon.  But 
there's  one  thing,  anyway  —  Jim's  too  old  to  be  dug 
out  with  a  case-knife.  He  won't  last." 

"  Yes  he  will  last,  too.  You  don't  reckon  it's  going 
to  take  thirty-seven  years  to  dig  out  through  a  dirt 
foundation,  do  you?" 

11  How  long  will  it  take,  Tom?" 

"  Well,  we  can't  resk  being  as  long  as  we  ought  to, 
because  it  mayn't  take  very  long  for  Uncle  Silas  to  hear 
from  down  there  by  New  Orleans.  He'll  hear  Jim  ain't 
from  there.  Then  his  next  move  will  be  to  advertise  Jim, 
or  something  like  that.  So  we  can't  resk  being  as  long 
digging  him  out  as  we  ought  to.  By  rights  I  reckon 
we  ought  to  be  a  couple  of  years;  but  we  can't. 
Things  being  so  uncertain,  what  I  recommend  is  this : 
that  we  really  dig  right  in,  as  quick  as  we  can ;  and 
after  that,  we  can  let  on,  to  ourselves,  that  we  was  at 
it  thirty-seven  years.  Then  we  can  snatch  him  out  and 
rush  him  away  the  first  time  there's  an  alarm.  Yes,  I 
reckon  that  '11  be  the  best  way." 

"  Now,  there's  sense  in  that,"  I  says.      "  Letting  on 


316  Huckleberry  Finn 

don't  cost  nothing;  letting  on  ain't  no  trouble;  and  if 
it's  any  object,  I  don't  mind  letting  on  we  was  at  it  a 
hundred  and  fifty  year.  It  wouldn't  strain  me  none, 
after  I  got  my  hand  in.  So  I'll  mosey  along  now,  and 
srnouch  a  couple  of  case-knives." 

"  Smouch  three,"  he  says;  "  we  want  one  to  make 
a  saw  out  of." 

"Tom,  if  it  ain't  unregular  and  irreligious  to  sejest 
it,"  I  says,  "there's  an  old  rusty  saw-blade  around 
yonder  sticking  under  the  weather-boarding  behind  the 
smoke-house." 

He  looked  kind  of  weary  and  discouraged-like,  and 
says: 

'*  It  ain't  no  use  to  try  to  learn  you  nothing,  Huck. 
Run  along  and  smouch  the  knives  —  three  of  them." 
So  I  done  it. 


CHAPTER   XXXVI. 

AS  soon  as  we  reckoned  everybody  was  asleep  that 
night  we  went  down  the  lightning-rod,  and  shut 
ourselves  up  in  the  lean-to,  and  got  out  our  pile  of 
fox-fire,  and  went  to  work.  We  cleared  everything 
out  of  the  way,  about  four  or  five  foot  along  the  mid 
dle  of  the  bottom  log.  Tom  said  we  was  right  behind 
Jim's  bed  now,  and  we'd  dig  in  under  it,  and  when  we 
got  through  there  couldn't  nobody  in  the  cabin  ever 
know  there  was  any  hole  there,  because  Jim's  counter- 
pin  hung  down  most  to  the  ground,  and  you'd  have  to 
raise  it  up  and  look  under  to  see  the  hole.  So  we  dug 
and  dug  with  the  case-knives  till  most  midnight;  and 
then  we  was  dog-tired,  and  our  hands  was  blistered, 
and  yet  you  couldn't  see  we'd  done  anything  hardly. 
At  last  I  says  : 

"This  ain't  no  thirty-seven  year  job;  this  is  a 
thirty-eight  year  job,  Tom  Sawyer." 

He  never  said  nothing.  But  he  sighed,  and  pretty 
soon  he  stopped  digging,  and  then  for  a  good  little 
while  I  knowed  that  he  was  thinking.  Then  he  says : 

"  It  ain't  no  use,  Huck,  it  ain't  a-going  to  work.  If 
we  was  prisoners  it  would,  because  then  we'd  have  as 
many  years  as  we  wanted,  and  no  hurry;  and  we 
wouldn't  get  but  a  few  minutes  to  dig,  every  day, 
while  they  was  changing  watches,  and  so  our  hands 
wouldn't  get  blistered,  and  we  could  keep  it  up  right 
along,  year  in  and  year  out,  and  do  it  right,  and  the 


518  Huckleberry  Finn 

way  it  ought  to  be  done.  But  we  can't  fool  along; 
we  got  to  rush;  we  ain't  got  no  time  to  spare.  If  we 
was  to  put  in  another  night  this  way  we'd  have  to 
knock  off  for  a  week  to  let  our  hands  get  well  — 
couldn't  touch  a  case-knife  with  them  sooner." 

"  Well,  then,  what  we  going  to  do,  Tom?" 

"I'll  tell  you.  It  ain't  right,  and  it  ain't  moral, 
and  I  wouldn't  like  it  to  get  out;  but  there  ain't  only 
just  the  one  way:  we  got  to  dig  him  out  with  the 
picks,  and  let  on  it's  case-knives." 

"  Now  you're  talking!"  I  says;  "your  head  gets 
leveler  and  leveler  all  the  time,  Tom  Sawyer,"  I 
says.  "  Picks  is  the  thing,  moral  or  no  moral;  and  as 
for  me,  I  don't  care  shucks  for  the  morality  of  it, 
nohow.  When  I  start  in  to  steal  a  nigger,  or  a  water 
melon,  or  a  Sunday-school  book,  I  ain't  no  ways 
particular  how  it's  done  so  it's  done.  What  I  want  is 
my  nigger ;  or  what  I  want  is  my  watermelon ;  or  what 
I  want  is  my  Sunday-school  book;  and  if  a  pick's  the 
handiest  thing,  that's  the  thing  I'm  a-going  to  dig  that 
nigger  or  that  watermelon  or  that  Sunday-school  book 
out  with ;  and  I  don't  give  a  dead  rat  what  the  au 
thorities  thinks  about  it  nuther." 

1 'Well,"  he  says,  "there's  excuse  for  picks  and 
letting-on  in  a  case  like  this;  if  it  warn't  so,  I  wouldn't 
approve  of  it,  nor  I  wouldn't  stand  by  and  see  the 
rules  broke  —  because  right  is  right,  and  wrong  is 
wrong,  and  a  body  ain't  got  no  business  doing  wrong 
when  he  ain't  ignorant  and  knows  better.  It  might 
answer  for  you  to  dig  Jim  out  with  a  pick,  without  any 
letting  on,  because  you  don't  know  no  better;  but  it 
wouldn't  for  me,  because  I  do  know  better.  Gimme 
a  case-knife." 

He  had  his  own  by  him,  but  I  handed  him  mine. 
He  flung  it  down,  and  says; 

"  Gimme  a  case-kmfe" 


Huckleberry  Finn  319 

I  didn't  know  just  what  to  do  —  but  then  I  thought. 
I  scratched  around  amongst  the  old  tools,  and  got  a 
pickaxe  and  give  it  to  him,  and  he  took  it  and  went  to 
work,  and  never  said  a  word. 

He  was  always  just  that  particular.     Full  of  principle. 

So  then  I  got  a  shovel,  and  then  we  picked  and 
shoveled,  turn  about,  and  made  the  fur  fly.  We  stuck 
to  it  about  a  half  an  hour,  which  was  as  long  as  we 
could  stand  up ;  but  we  had  a  good  deal  of  a  hole  to 
show  for  it.  When  I  got  up  stairs  I  looked  out  at  the 
window  and  see  Tom  doing  his  level  best  with  the 
lightning-rod,  but  he  couldn't  come  it,  his  hands  was 
so  sore.  At  last  he  says : 

"It  ain't  no  use,  it  can't  be  done.  What  you 
reckon  I  better  do?  Can't  you  think  of  no  way?" 

'Yes,"    I    says,    "but   I    reckon    it  ain't   regular. 
Come  up  the  stairs,  and  let  on  it's  a  lightning-rod." 

So  he  done  it. 

Next  day  Tom  stole  a  pewter  spoon  and  a  brass 
candlestick  in  the  house,  for  to  make  some  pens  for 
Jim  out  of,  and  six  tallow  candles ;  and  I  hung  around 
the  nigger  cabins  and  laid  for  a  chance,  and  stole  three 
tin  plates.  Tom  says  it  wasn't  enough;  but  I  said 
nobody  wouldn't  ever  see  the  plates  that  Jim  thro  wed 
out,  because  they'd  fall  in  the  dog-fennel  and  jimpson 
weeds  under  the  window-hole  —  then  we  could  tote 
them  back  and  he  could  use  them  over  again.  So 
Tom  was  satisfied.  Then  he  says: 

"Now,  the  thing  to  study  out  is,  how  to  get  the 
things  to  Jim." 

'  Take  them  in  through  the  hole,"  I  says,  "when 
we  get  it  done." 

He  only  just  looked  scornful,  and  said  something 
about  nobody  ever  heard  of  such  an  idiotic  idea,  and 
then  he  went  to  studying.  By  and  by  he  said  he  had 
ciphered  out  two  or  three  ways,  but  there  warn't  no 


320  Huckleberry  Finn 

need  to  decide  on  any  of  them  yet.  Said  we'd  got  to 
post  Jim  first. 

That  night  we  went  down  the  lightning-rod  a  little 
after  ten,  and  took  one  of  the  candles  along,  and 
listened  under  the  window-hole,  and  heard  Jim  snoring; 
so  we  pitched  it  in,  and  it  didn't  wake  him.  Then  we 
whirled  in  with  the  pick  and  shovel,  and  in  about  two 
hours  and  a  half  the  job  was  done.  We  crept  in  under 
Jim's  bed  and  into  the  cabin,  and  pawed  around  and 
found  the  candle  and  lit  it,  and  stood  over  Jim  awhile, 
and  found  him  looking  hearty  and  healthy,  and  then 
we  woke  him  up  gentle  and  gradual.  He  was  so  glad  to 
see  us  he  most  cried ;  and  called  us  honey,  and  all  the 
pet  names  he  could  think  of;  and  was  for  having  us 
hunt  up  a  cold-chisel  to  cut  the  chain  off  of  his  leg 
with  right  away,  and  clearing  out  without  losing  any 
time.  But  Tom  he  showed  him  how  unregular  it 
would  be,  and  set  down  and  told  him  all  about  our 
plans,  and  how  we  could  alter  them  in  a  minute  any 
time  there  was  an  alarm ;  and  not  to  be  the  least  afraid, 
because  we  would  see  he  got  away,  sure.  So  Jim  he 
said  it  was  all  right,  and  we  set  there  and  talked  over 
old  times  awhile,  and  then  Tom  asked  a  lot  of  ques 
tions,  and  when  Jim  told  him  Uncle  Silas  come  in 
every  day  or  two  to  pray  with  him,  and  Aunt  Sally 
come  in  to  see  if  he  was  comfortable  and  had  plenty  to 
eat,  and  both  of  them  was  kind  as  they  could  be,  Tom 
says: 

"  Now  I  know  how  to  fix  it.  We'll  send  you  some 
things  by  them." 

I  said,  "  Don't  do  nothing  of  the  kind;  it's  one  of 
the  most  jackass  ideas  I  ever  struck;"  but  he  never 
paid  no  attention  to  me;  went  right  on.  It  was  his 
way  when  he'd  got  his  plans  set. 

So  he  told  Jim  how  we'd  have  to  smuggle  in  the 
rope-ladder  pie  and  other  large  things  by  Nat,  the 


Huckleberry  Finn  321 

nigger  that  fed  him,  and  he  must  be  on  the  lookout, 
and  not  be  surprised,  and  not  let  Nat 'see  him  open 
them;  and  we  would  put  small  things  in  uncle's  coat- 
pockets  and  he  must  steal  them  out;  and  we  would  tie 
things  to  aunt's  apron-strings  or  put  them  in  her 
apron-pocket,  if  we  got  a  chance ;  and  told  him  what 
they  would  be  and  what  they  was  for.  And  told  him 
how  to  keep  a  journal  on  the  shirt  with  his  blood,  and 
all  that.  He  told  him  everything.  Jim  he  couldn't 
see  no  sense  in  the  most  of  it,  but  he  allowed  we  was 
white  folks  and  knowed  better  than  him ;  so  he  was 
satisfied,  and  said  he  would  do  it  all  just  as  Tom  said. 

Jim  had  plenty  corn-cob  pipes  and  tobacco;  so 
we  had  a  right  down  good  sociable  time;  then  we 
crawled  out  through  the  hole,  and  so  home  to  bed, 
with  hands  that  looked  like  they'd  been  chawed.  Tom 
was  in  high  spirits.  He  said  it  was  the  best  fun  he 
ever  had  in  his  life,  and  the  most  intellectural ;  and 
said  if  he  only  could  see  his  way  to  it  we  would  keep  it 
up  all  the  rest  of  our  lives  and  leave  Jim  to  our  children 
to  get  out ;  for  he  believed  Jim  would  come  to  like  it 
better  and  better  the  more  he  got  used  to  it.  He  said 
that  in  that  way  it  could  be  strung  out  to  as  much  as 
eighty  year,  and  would  be  the  best  time  on  record. 
And  he  said  it  would  make  us  all  celebrated  that  had  a 
hand  in  it. 

In  the  morning  we  went  out  to  the  woodpile  and 
chopped  up  the  brass  candlestick  into  handy  sizes,  and 
Tom  put  them  and  the  pewter  spoon  in  his  pocket. 
Then  we  went  to  the  nigger  cabins,  and  while  I  got 
Nat's  notice  off,  Tom  shoved  a  piece  of  candlestick 
into  the  middle  of  a  corn-pone  that  was  in  Jim's  pan, 
and  we  went  along  with  Nat  to  see  how  it  would  work, 
and  it  just  worked  noble ;  when  Jim  bit  into  it  it  most 
mashed  all  his  teeth  out;  and  there  warn't  ever  any 
thing  could  a  worked  better.  Tom  said  so  himself. 


322  Huckleberry  Finn 

Jim  he  never  let  on  but  what  it  was  only  just  a  piece  of 
rock  or  something  like  that  that's  always  getting  into 
bread,  you  know;  but  after  that  he  never  bit  into 
nothing  but  what  he  jabbed  his  fork  into  it  in  three  or 
four  places  first. 

And  whilst  we  was  a-standing  there  in  the  dimmish 
light,  here  comes  a  couple  of  the  hounds  bulging  in 
from  under  Jim's  bed;  and  they  kept  on  piling  in  till 
there  was  eleven  of  them,  and  there  warn't  hardly 
room  in  there  to  get  your  breath.  By  jings,  we  forgot 
to  fasten  that  lean-to  door  i  The  nigger  Nat  he  only 
just  hollered  "Witches"  once,  and  keeled  over  on  to 
the  floor  amongst  the  dogs,  and  begun  to  groan  like 
he  was  dying.  Tom  jerked  the  door  open  and  flung 
out  a  slab  of  Jim's  meat,  and  the  dogs  went  for  it,  and 
in  two  seconds  he  was  out  himself  and  back  again  and 
shut  the  door,  and  I  knowed  he'd  fixed  the  other  door 
too.  Then  he  went  to  work  on  the  nigger,  coaxing 
him  and  petting  him,  and  asking  him  if  he'd  been 
imagining  he  saw  something  again.  He  raised  up,  and 
blinked  his  eyes  around,  and  says: 

"Mars  Sid,  you'll  say  I's  a  fool,  but  if  I  didn't 
b'lieve  I  see  most  a  million  dogs,  er  devils,  er  some'n, 
I  wisht  I  may  die  right  heah  in  dese  tracks.  I  did, 
mos'  sholy.  Mars  Sid,  I  felt  um  —  I  felt  um,  sah ; 
dey  was  all  over  me.  Dad  fetch  it,  I  jis'  wisht  I 
could  git  my  han's  on  one  er  dem  witches  jis'  wunst  — 
on'y  jis'  wunst  —  it's  all  /'d  ast.  But  mos'ly  I  wisht 
dey'd  lemme  'lone,  I  does." 

Tom  says : 

"  Well,  I  tell  you  what  7  think.  What  makes  them 
come  here  just  at  this  runaway  nigger's  breakfast-time? 
It's  because  they're  hungry;  that's  the  reason.  You 
make  them  a  witch  pie;  that's  the  thing  for  you  to 
do.'1 

"But  my  Ian',  Mars  Sid,  how's  I  gwync  to  make 


Huckleberry  Finn  323 

'm  a  witch  pie?  I  doan'  know  how  to  make  it.  I 
hain't  ever  hearn  er  sich  a  thing  b'fo'." 

"  Well,  then,  I'll  have  to  make  it  myself." 

"Will  you  do  it,  honey?  —  will  you?  I'll  wusshup 
de  groun'  und*  yo'  foot,  I  will!" 

"All  right,  I'll  do  it,  seeing  it's  you,  and  you've 
been  good  to  us  and  showed  us  the  runaway  nigger. 
But  you  got  to  be  mighty  careful.  When  we  come 
around,  you  turn  your  back;  and  then  whatever  we've 
put  in  the  pan,  don't  you  let  on  you  see  it  at  all.  And 
don't  you  look  when  Jim  unloads  the  pan  —  something 
might  happen,  I  don't  know  what.  And  above  all, 
don't  you  handle  the  witch-things." 

"  Hannel  'm,  Mars  Sid?  What  is  you  a-talkin' 
>i|'bout?  I  wouldn'  lay  de  weight  er  my  finger  on 
um,  not  f'r  ten  hund'd  thous'  n  billion  dollars,  I 
wouldn't." 


CHAPTER  XXXVII 

""THAT  was  all  fixed.  So  then  we  went  away  and 
I  went  to  the  rubbage-pile  in  the  back  yard,  where 
they  keep  the  old  boots,  and  rags,  and  pieces  of 
bottles,  and  wore-out  tin  things,  and  all  such  truck, 
and  scratched  around  and  found  an  old  tin  washpan, 
and  stopped  up  the  holes  as  well  as  we  could,  to  bake 
the  pie  in,  and  took  it  down  cellar  and  stole  it  full  of 
flour  and  started  for  breakfast,  and  found  a  couple  of 
shingle-nails  that  Tom  said  would  be  handy  for  a 
prisoner  to  scrabble  his  name  and  sorrows  on  the 
dungeon  walls  with,  and  dropped  one  of  them  in  Aunt 
Sally's  apron-pocket  which  was  hanging  on  a  chair, 
and  t'other  we  stuck  in  the  band  of  Uncle  Silas's  hat, 
which  was  on  the  bureau,  because  we  heard  the  chil 
dren  say  their  pa  and  ma  was  going  to  the  runaway 
nigger's  house  this  morning,  and  then  went  to  break 
fast,  and  Tom  dropped  the  pewter  spoon  in  Uncle 
Silas's  coat-pocket,  and  Aunt  Sally  wasn't  come  yet, 
so  we  had  to  wait  a  little  while. 

And  when  she  come  she  was  hot  and  red  and  cross, 
and  couldn't  hardly  wait  for  the  blessing;  and  then 
she  went  to  sluicing  out  coffee  with  one  hand  and 
cracking  the  handiest  child's  head  with  her  thimble 
with  the  other,  and  says : 

*'  I've  hunted  high  and  I've  hunted  low,  and  it  does 
beat  all  what  has  become  of  your  other  shirt." 

My  heart  fell  down  amongst  my  lungs  and  livers 
and  things,  and  a  hard  piece  of  corn-crust  started  down 

(324) 


Huckleberry  Finn  325 

my  throat  after  it  and  got  met  on  the  road  with  a 
cough,  and  was  shot  across  the  table,  and  took  one 
of  the  children  in  the  eye  and  curle*d  him  up  like  a 
fishing- worm,  and  let  a  cry  out  of  him  the  size  of  a 
warwhoop,  and  Tom  he  turned  kinder  blue  around  the 
gills,  and  it  all  amounted  to  a  considerable  state  of 
things  for  about  a  quarter  of  a  minute  or  as  much  as 
that,  and  I  would  a  sold  out  for  half  price  if  there  was 
a  bidder.  But  after  that  we  was  all  right  again  —  it 
was  the  sudden  surprise  of  it  that  knocked  us  so  kind 
of  cold.  Uncle  Silas  he  says: 

"  It's  most  uncommon  curious,  I  can't  understand 
it.  I  know  perfectly  well  I  took  it  off,  because — " 

"  Because  you  hain't  got  but  one  on.  Just  listen  at 
the  man !  /  know  you  took  it  off,  and  know  it  by  a 
better  way  than  your  wool-gethering  memory,  too, 
because  it  was  on  the  clo's-line  yesterday — I  see  it 
there  myself.  But  it's  gone,  that's  the  long  and  the 
short  of  it,  and  you'll  just  have  to  change  to  a  red 
flann'l  one  till  I  can  get  time  to  make  a  new  one. 
And  it  '11  be  the  third  I've  made  in  two  years.  It  just 
keeps  a  body  on  the  jump  to  keep  you  in  shirts ;  and 
whatever  you  do  manage  to  do  with  'm  all  is  more'n  / 
can  make  out.  A  body  'd  think  you  would  learn  to 
take  some  sort  of  care  of  'em  at  your  time  of  life." 

"  I  know  it,  Sally,  and  I  do  try  all  I  can.  But  it 
oughtn't  to  be  altogether  my  fault,  because,  you  know, 
I  don't  see  them  nor  have  nothing  to  do  with  them 
except  when  they're  on  me;  and  I  don't  believe  I've 
ever  lost  one  of  them  off  of  me." 

"Well,  it  ain't  your  fault  if  you  haven't,  Silas; 
you'd  a  done  it  if  you  could,  I  reckon.  And  the  shirt 
ain't  all  that's  gone,  nuther.  Ther's  a  spoon  gone; 
and  that  ain't  all.  There  was  ten,  and  now  ther's  only 
nine.  The  calf  got  the  shirt,  I  reckon,  but  the  calf 
never  took  the  spoon,  that's  certain." 


326  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  Why,  what  else  is  gone,  Sally?" 
'  Ther's  six  candles  gone  —  that's  what.  The  rats 
could  a  got  the  candles,  and  I  reckon  they  did;  I 
wonder  they  don't  walk  off  with  the  whole  place,  the 
way  you're  always  going  to  stop  their  holes  and  don't 
do  it;  and  if  they  warn't  fools  they'd  sleep  in  your 
hair,  Silas — youd  never  find  it  out;  but  you  can't  lay 
the  spoon  on  the  rats,  and  that  I  know." 

"Well,  Sally,  I'm  in  fault,  and  I  acknowledge  it; 
I've  been  remiss;  but  I  won't  let  to-morrow  go  by 
without  stopping  up  them  holes." 

"  Oh,  I  wouldn't  hurry;  next  year  '11  do.  Matilda 
Angelina  Araminta  Phelps  /" 

Whack  comes  the  thimble,  and  the  child  snatches 
her  claws  out  of  the  sugar-bowl  without  fooling  around 
any.  Just  then  the  nigger  woman  steps  on  to  the 
passage,  and  says: 

"  Missus,  dey's  a  sheet  gone." 

"  A  sheet  gone  !     Well,  for  the  land's    ake  !" 

"  I'll  stop  up  them  holes  to-day,"  says  Uncle  Silas, 
looking  sorrowful. 

"  Oh,  do  shet  up  !  —  s'pose  the  rats  took  the  sheet  ? 
Where's  it  gone,  Lize?" 

"  Clah  to  goodness  I  hain't  no  notion,  Miss'  Sally. 
She  wuz  on  de  clo'sline  yistiddy,  but  she  done  gone: 
she  ain'  dah  no  mo'  now." 

"  I  reckon  the  world  is  coming  to  an  end.  I  never 
see  the  beat  of  it  in  all  my  born  days.  A  shirt,  and  a 
sheet,  and  a  spoon,  and  six  can — " 

"Missus,"  comes  a  young  yaller  wench,  "dey's  a 
brass  cannelstick  miss'n." 

"  Cler  out  from  here,  you  hussy,  er  I'll  take  a  skillet 
to  ye ! " 

Well,  she  was  just  a-biling.  I  begun  to  lay  for  a 
chance ;  I  reckoned  I  would  sneak  out  and  go  for  the 
woods  till  the  weather  moderated.  She  kept  a-raging 


Huckleberry  Finn  327 

right  along,  running  her  insurrection  all  by  herself, 
and  everybody  else  mighty  meek  and  quiet;  and  at 
last  Uncle  Silas,  looking  kind  of  foolish,  fishes  up  that 
spoon  out  of  his  pocket.  She  stopped,  with  her  mouth 
open  and  her  hands  up ;  and  as  for  me,  I  wished  I  was 
in  Jeruslem  or  somewheres.  But  not  long,  because 
she  says : 

11  It's  just  as  I  expected.  So  you  had  it  in  your 
pocket  all  the  time;  and  like  as  not  you've  got  the 
other  things  there,  too.  How'd  it  get  there?" 

"  I  reely  don't  know,  Sally,"  he  says,  kind  of 
apologizing,  "or  you  know  I  would  tell.  I  was  a- 
studying  over  my  text  in  Acts  Seventeen  before  break 
fast,  and  I  reckon  I  put  it  in  there,  not  noticing, 
meaning  to  put  my  Testament  in,  and  it  must  be  so, 
because  my  Testament  ain't  in;  but  I'll  go  and  see; 
and  if  the  Testament  is  where  I  had  it,  I'll  know  I 
didn't  put  it  in,  and  that  will  show  that  I  laid  the 
Testament  dd  /n  and  took  up  the  spoon,  and — " 

"Oh,  for  the  land's  sake!  Give  a  body  a  rest! 
Go  'long  now,  the  whole  kit  and  biling  of  ye;  and 
don't  come  nigh  me  again  till  I've  got  back  my  peace 
of  mind." 

Pd  a  heard  her  if  she'd  a  said  it  to  herself,  let  alone 
speaking  it  out;  and  I'd  a  got  up  and  obeyed  her  if 
I'd  a  been  dead.  As  we  was  passing  through  the 
setting-room  the  old  man  he  took  up  his  hat,  and  the 
shingle-nail  fell  out  on  the  floor,  and  he  just  merely 
picked  it  up  and  laid  it  on  the  mantel-shelf,  and  never 
said  nothing,  and  went  out.  Tom  see  him  do  it,  and 
remembered  about  the  spoon,  and  says: 

'Well,  it  ain't  no  use  to  send  things  by  him  no 
more,  he  ain't  reliable."  Then  he  says:  "But  he 
done  us  a  good  turn  with  the  spoon,  anyway,  without 
knowing  it,  and  so  we'll  go  and  do  him  one  without 
him  knowing  it  —  stop  up  his  rat-holes/' 


328  Huckleberry  Finn 

There  was  a  noble  good  lot  of  them  down  cellar,  and 
it  took  us  a  whole  hour,  but  we  done  the  job  tight  and 
good  and  shipshape.  Then  we  heard  steps  on  the 
stairs,  and  blowed  out  our  light  and  hid;  and  here 
comes  the  old  man,  with  a  candle  in  one  hand  and  a 
bundle  of  stuff  in  t'other,  looking  as  absent-minded  as 
year  before  last.  He  went  a  mooning  around,  first  to 
one  rat-hole  and  then  another,  till  he'd  been  to  them 
all.  Then  he  stood  about  five  minutes,  picking  tallow- 
drip  off  of  his  candle  and  thinking.  Then  he  turns  off 
slow  and  dreamy  towards  the  stairs,  saying: 

"  Well,  for  the  life  of  me  I  can't  remember  when  I 
done  it.  I  could  show  her  now  that  I  warn't  to  blame 
on  account  of  the  rats.  But  never  mind  —  let  it  go.  I 
reckon  it  wouldn't  do  no  good." 

And  so  he  went  on  a-mumbling  up  stairs,  and  then 
we  left.  He  was  a  mighty  nice  old  man.  And 
always  is. 

Tom  was  a  good  deal  bothered  about  what  to  do  for 
a  spoon,  but  he  said  we'd  got  to  have  it;  so  he  took  a 
think.  When  he  had  ciphered  it  out  he  told  me  how 
we  was  to  do ;  then  we  went  and  waited  around  the 
spoon-basket  till  we  see  Aunt  Sally  coming,  and  then 
Tom  went  to  counting  the  spoons  and  laying  them  out 
to  one  side,  and  I  slid  one  of  them  up  my  sleeve,  and 
Tom  says: 

"Why,  Aunt  Sally,  there  ain't  but  nine  spoons 
yetS* 

She  says: 

"  Go  'long  to  your  play,  and  don't  bother  me.  I 
know  better,  I  counted  'm  myself." 

"  Well,  I've  counted  them  twice,  Aunty,  and  /can't 
make  but  nine." 

She  looked  out  of  all  patience,  but  of  course  she 
come  to  count  —  anybody  would. 

"I  declare  to   gracious  ther'  airit  but  nine!"  she 


Huckleberry  Finn  329 

says.  "Why,  what  in  the  world  —  plague  take  the 
things,  I'll  count  'm  again." 

So  I  slipped  back  the  one  I  had,  and  when  she  got 
done  counting,  she  says : 

14  Hang  the  troublesome  rubbage,  ther's  ten  now!" 
and  she  looked  huffy  and  bothered  both.  But  Tom 
says: 

"  Why,  Aunty,  7  don't  think  there's  ten." 

<f  You  numskull,  didn't  you  see  me  count  'm?" 

41  I  know,  but — " 

44  Well,  I'll  count  'm  again." 

So  I  smouched  one,  and  they  come  out  nine,  same 
as  the  other  time.  Well,  she  was  in  a  tearing  way  — 
just  a-trembling  all  over,  she  was  so  mad.  But  she 
counted  and  counted  till  she  got  that  addled  she'd  start 
to  count  in  the  basket  for  a  spoon  sometimes;  and  so, 
three  times  they  come  out  right,  and  three  times  they 
come  out  wrong.  Then  she  grabbed  up  the  basket 
and  slammed  it  across  the  house  and  knocked  the  cat 
galley-west;  and  she  said  cle'r  out  and  let  her  have 
some  peace,  and  if  we  come  bothering  around  her 
again  betwixt  that  and  dinner  she'd  skin  us.  So  we 
had  the  odd  spoon,  and  dropped  it  in  her  apron-pocket 
whilst  she  was  a-giving  us  our  sailing  orders,  and  Jim 
got  it  all  right,  along  with  her  shingle  nail,  before 
noon.  We  was  very  well  satisfied  with  this  business, 
and  Tom  allowed  it  was  worth  twice  the  trouble  it 
took,  because  he  said  now  she  couldn't  ever  count 
them  spoons  twice  alike  again  to  save  her  life;  and 
wouldn't  believe  she'd  counted  them  right  if  she  did ; 
and  said  that  after  she'd  about  counted  her  head  off 
for  the  next  three  days  he  judged  she'd  give  it  up  and 
offer  to  kill  anybody  that  wanted  her  to  ever  count 
them  any  more. 

§o  we  put  the  sheet  back  on  the  line  that  night,  and 
stole  one  out  of  her  closet;  and  kept  on  putting  it 


330  Huckleberry  Finn 

back  and  stealing  it  again  for  a  couple  of  days  till  she 
didn't  know  how  many  sheets  she  had  any  more,  and 
she  didn't  care,  and  warn't  a-going  to  bullyrag  the  rest; 
of  her  soul  out  about  it,  and  wouldn't  count  them 
again  not  to  save  her  life;  she  druther  die  first. 

So  we  was  all  right  now,  as  to  the  shirt  and  the 
sheet  and  the  spoon  and  the  candles,  by  the  help  of 
the  calf  and  the  rats  and  the  mixed-up  counting;  and 
as  to  the  candlestick,  it  warn't  no  consequence,  it 
would  blow  over  by  and  by. 

But  that  pie  was  a  job ;  we  had  no  end  of  trouble 
with  that  pie.  We  fixed  it  up  away  down  in  the 
woods,  and  cooked  it  there ;  and  we  got  it  done  at 
last,  and  very  satisfactory,  too ;  but  not  all  in  one 
day;  and  we  had  to  use  up  three  wash-pans  full  of 
flour  before  we  got  through,  and  we  got  burnt  pretty 
much  all  over,  in  places,  and  eyes  put  out  with  the 
smoke;  because,  you  see,  we  didn't  want  nothing  but 
a  crust,  and  we  couldn't  prop  it  up  right,  and  she 
would  always  cave  in.  But  of  course  we  thought  of 
the  right  way  at  last  —  which  was  to  cook  the  ladder, 
too,  in  the  pie.  So  then  we  laid  in  with  Jim  the 
second  night,  and  tore  up  the  sheet  all  in  little  strings 
and  twisted  them  together,  and  long  before  daylight  we 
had  a  lovely  rope  that  you  could  a  hung  a  person  with. 
We  let  on  it  took  nine  months  to  make  it. 

And  in  the  forenoon  we  took  it  down  to  the  woods, 
but  it  wouldn't  go  into  the  pie.  Being  made  of  a 
whole  sheet,  that  way,  there  was  rope  enough  for  forty 
pies  if  we'd  a  wanted  them,  and  plenty  left  over  for 
soup,  or  sausage,  or  anything  you  choose.  We  could 
a  had  a  whole  dinner. 

But  we  didn't  need  it.  All  we  needed  was  just 
enough  for  the  pie,  and  so  we  throwed  the  rest  away. 
We  didn't  cook  none*of  the  pies  in  the  wash-pan  — 
afraid  the  solder  would  melt;  but  Uncle  Silas  he  had  a 


Huckleberry  Finn  331 

noble  brass  warming-pan  which  he  thought  consider 
able  of,  because  it  belonged  to  one  of  his  ancesters 
with  a  long  wooden  handle  that  come  over  from  Eng 
land  with  William  the  Conqueror  in  the  Mayflower  or 
one  of  them  early  ships  and  was  hid  away  up  garret 
with  a  lot  of  other  old  pots  and  things  that  was 
valuable,  not  on  account  of  being  any  account,  be 
cause  they  warn't,  but  on  account  of  them  being 
relicts,  you  know,  and  we  snaked  her  out,  private,  and 
took  her  down  there,  but  she  failed  on  the  first  pies, 
because  we  didn't  know  how,  but  she  come  up  smiling 
on  the  last  one.  We  took  and  lined  her  with  dough, 
and  set  her  in  the  coals,  and  loaded  her  up  with  rag 
rope,  and  put  on  a  dough  roof,  and  shut  down  the  lid, 
and  put  hot  embers  on  top,  and  stood  off  five  foot, 
with  the  long  handle,  cool  and  comfortable,  and  in 
fifteen  minutes  she  turned  out  a  pie  that  was  a  satisfac 
tion  to  look  at.  But  the  person  that  et  it  would  want 
to  fetch  a  couple  of  kags  of  toothpicks  along,  for  if 
that  rope  ladder  wouldn't  cramp  him  down  to  business 
I  don't  know  nothing  what  I'm  talking  about,  and  lay 
him  in  enough  stomach-ache  to  last  him  till  next  time, 
too. 

Nat  didn't  look  when  we  put  the  witch  pie  in  Jim's 
pan ;  and  we  put  the  three  tin  plates  in  the  bottom  of 
the  pan  under  the  vittles;  and  so  Jim  got  everything 
all  right,  and  as  soon  as  he  was  by  himself  he  busted 
into  the  pie  and  hid  the  rope  ladder  inside  of  his  straw 
tick,  and  scratched  some  marks  on  a  tin  plate  and 
throwed  it  out  of  the  window-hole. 


CHAPTER   XXXVIII. 

MAKING  them  pens  was  a  distressid  tough  job, 
and  so  was  the  saw;  and  Jim  allowed  the  in 
scription  was  going  to  be  the  toughest  of  all.  That's 
the  one  which  the  prisoner  has  to  scrabble  on  the  wall. 
But  he  had  to  have  it;  Tom  said  he'd  got  to;  there 
warn't  no  case  of  a  state  prisoner  not  scrabbling  his 
inscription  to  leave  behind,  and  his  coat  of  arms. 

"Look  at  Lady  Jane  Grey,"  he  says;  "look  at 
Gilford  Dudley ;  look  at  old  Northumberland  !  Why, 
Huck,  s'pose  it  is  considerble  trouble?  —  what  you 
going  to  do?  —  how  you  going  to  get  around  it? 
Jim's  got  to  do  his  inscription  and  coat  of  arms.  They 
all  do."" 

rjim  says: 
"Why,  Mars  Tom,  I  hain't  got  no  coat  o'  arm;  I 
hain't  got  nuffn   but  dish  yer  ole  shirt,  en  you  knows 
I  got  to  keep  de  journal  on  dat. ' ' 

"  Oh,  you  don't  understand,  Jim;  a  coat  of  arms  is 
very  different." 

"Well,"  I  says,  "Jim's  right,  anyway,  when  he 
says  he  ain't  got  no  coat  of  arms,  because  he  hain't." 

"I  reckon  /  knowed  that,"  Tom  says,  "but  you 
bet  he'll  have  one  before  he  goes  out  of  this  —  because 
he's  going  out  right,  and  there  ain't  going  to  be  no 
flaws  in  his  record." 

So  whilst  me  and  Jim  filed  away  at  the  pens  on  a 
brickbat  apiece,  Jim  a-making  his'n  out  of  the  brass 

(332) 


Huckleberry  Finn  333 

and  I  making  mine  out  of  the  spoon,  Tom  set  to  work 
to  think  out  the  coat  of  arms.  By  and  by  he  said  he'd 
struck  so  many  good  ones  he  didn't  hardly  know 
which  to  take,  but  there  was  one  which  he  reckoned 
he'd  decide  on.  He  says : 

14  On  the  scutcheon  we'll  have  a  bend  or  in  the 
dexter  base,  a  saltire  murrey  in  the  fess,  with  a  dog, 
couchant,  for  common  charge,  and  under  his  foot  a 
chain  embattled,  for  slavery,  with  a  chevron  vert  in  a 
chief  engrailed,  and  three  invected  lines  on  a  field 
azure,  with  the  nombril  points  rampant  on  a  dancette 
indented;  crest,  a  runaway  nigger,  sable,  with  his 
bundle  over  his  shoulder  on  a  bar  sinister;  and  a 
couple  of  gules  for  supporters,  which  is  you  and  me; 
motto,  Maggiore  fretta,  minore  atto.  Got  it  out  of  a 
book  —  means  the  more  haste  the  less  speed." 

"  Geewhillikins,"  I  says,  "  but  what  does  the  rest  of   ' 
it  mean?" 

"We  ain't  got  no  time  to  bother  over  that,"  he 
says;  "  we  got  to  dig  in  like  all  git-out." 

"Well,  anyway,"  I  says,  "what's  some  of  it? 
What's  a  fess?" 

"  A  fess  —  a  fess  is — you  don't  need  to  know  what 
a  fess  is.  I'll  show  him  how  to  make  it  when  he  gets 
to  it." 

"  Shucks,  Tom,"  I  says,  "  I  think  you  might  tell  a 
person.  What's  a  bar  sinister?" 

"  Oh,  /don't  know.  But  he's  got  to  have  it.  All 
the  nobility  does." 

That  was  just  his  way.  If  it  didn't  suit  him  to  ex 
plain  a  thing  to  you,  he  wouldn't  do  it.  You  might 
pump  at  him  a  week,  it  wouldn't  make  no  difference. 

He'd  got  all  that  coat  of  arms  business  fixed,  so 
now  he  started  in  to  finish  up  the  rest  of  that  part  of 
the  work,  which  was  to  plan  out  a  mournful  inscrip 
tion—said  Jim  got  to  have  one,  like  they  all  done, 


334  Huckleberry  Finn 

He  made  up  a  lot,  and  wrote  them  out  on  a  paper,  and 
read  them  off,  so: 

1.  Here  a  captive  heart  busted. 

2.  Here   a  poor  prisoner,  forsook  by  the  world  and 
friends,  fretted  his  sorrowful  Life. 

3.  Here  a  lonely  heart  broke,  and  a  worn  spirit  went 
to  its  rest,  after  thirty-seven  years  of  solitary  captivity. 

4.  Here,  homeless   and  friendless,  after   thirty-seven 
years   of  bitter    captivity,  perished    a    noble    stranger, 
natural  son  of  Louis  XIV. 

Tom's  voice  trembled  whilst  he  was  reading  them, 
and  he  most  broke  down.  When  he  got  done  he 
couldn't  no  way  make  up  his  mind  which  one  for  Jim 
to  scrabble  on  to  the  wall,  they  was  all  so  good ;  but 
at  last  he  allowed  he  would  let  him  scrabble  them  all 
on.  Jim  said  it  would  take  him  a  year  to  scrabble 
such  a  lot  of  truck  on  to  the  logs  with  a  nail,  and  he 
didn't  know  how  to  make  letters,  besides;  but  Tom 
said  he  would  block  them  out  for  him,  and  then  he 
wouldn't  have  nothing  to  do  but  just  follow  the  lines. 
Then  pretty  soon  he  says : 

"  Come  to  think,  the  logs  ain't  a-going  to  do;  they 
don't  have  log  walls  in  a  dungeon:  we  got  to  dig  the 
inscriptions  into  a  rock.  We'll  fetch  a  rock." 

Jim  said  the  rock  was  worse  than  the  logs ;  he  said 
it  would  take  him  such  a  pison  long  time  to  dig  them 
into  a  rock  he  wouldn't  ever  get  out.  But  Tom  said 
he  would  let  me  help  him  do  it.  Then  he  took  a  look 
to  see  how  me  and  Jim  was  getting  along  with  the 
pens.  It  was  most  pesky  tedious  hard  work  and  slow, 
and  didn't  give  my  hands  no  show  to  get  well  of  the 
sores,  and  we  didn't  seem  to  make  no  headway,  hardly; 
so  Tom  says : 

* '  I  know  how  to  fix  it.  We  got  to  have  a  rock  for 
the  coat  of  £rms  and  mournful  inscriptions,  and  we  can 


Huckleberry  Finn  335 

kill  two  birds  with  that  same  rock.  There's  a  gaudy 
big  grindstone  down  at  the  mill,  and  we'll  smouch  it, 
and  carve  the  things  on  it,  and  file  out  the  pens  and 
the  saw  on  it,  too." 

It  warn't  no  slouch  of  an  idea;  and  it  warn't  no 
slouch  of  a  grindstone  nuther;  but  we  allowed  we'd 
tackle  it.  It  warn't  quite  midnight  yet,  so  we  cleared 
out  for  the  mill,  leaving  Jim  at  work.  We  smouched 
the  grindstone,  and  set  out  to  roll  her  home,  but  it 
was  a  most  nation  tough  job.  Sometimes,  do  what  we 
could,  we  couldn't  keep  her  from  falling  over,  and  she 
come  mighty  near  mashing  us  every  time.  Tom  said 
she  was  going  to  get  one  of  us,  sure,  before  we  got 
through.  We  got  her  half  way;  and  then  we  was 
plumb  played  out,  and  most  drownded  with  sweat, 
We  see  it  warn't  no  use;  we  got  to  go  and  fetch  Jim. 
So  he  raised  up  his  bed  and  slid  the  chain  off  of  the 
bed-leg,  and  wrapt  it  round  and  round  his  neck,  and 
we  crawled  out  through  our  hole  and  down  there,  and 
Jim  and  me  laid  into  that  grindstone  and  walked 
her  along  like  nothing;  and  Tom  superintended. 
He  could  out-superintend  any  boy  I  ever  see.  He 
knowed  how  to  do  everything. 

Our  hole  was  pretty  big,  but  it  warn't  big  enough  to 
get  the  grindstone  through ;  but  Jim  he  took  the  pick 
and  soon  made  it  big  enough.  Then  Tom  marked  out 
them  things  on  it  with  the  nail,  and  set  Jim  to  work  on 
them,  with  the  nail  for  a  chisel  and  an  iron  bolt  from 
the  rubbage  in  the  lean-to  for  a  hammer,  and  told  him 
to  work  till  the  rest  of  his  candle  quit  on  him,  and  then 
he  could  go  to  bed,  and  hide  the  grindstone  under  his 
straw  tick  and  sleep  on  it.  Then  we  helped  him  fix 
his  chain  back  on  the  bed-leg,  and  was  ready  for  bed 
ourselves.  But  Tom  thought  of  something,  and  says: 

'  You  got  any  spiders  in  here,  Jim?" 
,    "  No,  sah,  thanks  to  goodness  I  hain't,  Mars  Tom." 


336  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  All  right,  we'll  get  you  some." 

"But  bless  you,  honey,  I  doan'  want  none.  I's 
afeard  un  um.  I  jis'  's  soon  have  rattlesnakes  aroun'." 

Tom  thought  a  minute  or  two,  and  says: 

"It's  a  good  idea.  And  I  reckon  it's  been  done. 
It  must  a  been  done;  it  stands  to  reason.  Yes,  it's  a 
prime  good  idea.  Where  could  you  keep  it?" 

"  Keep  what,  Mars  Tom?" 

"Why,  a  rattlesnake." 

"  De  goodness  gracious  alive,  Mars  Tom!  Why,  if 
dey  was  a  rattlesnake  to  come  in  heah  I'd  take  en  bust 
right  out  thoo  dat  log  wall,  I  would,  wid  my  head." 

"  Why,  Jim,  you  wouldn't  be  afraid  of  it  after  a 
little.  You  could  tame  it." 

"  Tameitl" 

"Yes  —  easy  enough.  Every  animal  is  grateful  for 
kindness  and  petting,  and  they  wouldn't  think  of  hurt 
ing  a  person  that  pets  them.  Any  book  will  tell  you 
that.  You  try  —  that's  all  I  ask;  just  try  for  two  or 
three  days.  Why,  you  can  get  him  so  in  a  little  while 
that  he'll  love  you ;  and  sleep  with  you;  and  won't 
stay  away  from  you  a  minute ;  and  will  let  you  wrap 
him  round  your  neck  and  put  his  head  in  your  mouth." 

"  Please  y  Mars  Tom  —  doan    talk  so!     I  can't  stan 
it!     He'd  let  me  shove  his  head  in  my  mouf  —  fer  a 
favor,  hain't  it?     I  lay  he'd  wait  a  pow'ful  long  time 
'fo'  I  ast  him.     En  mo'  en  dat,  I  doan'  want  him  to 
sleep  wid  me." 

"Jim,  don't  act  so  foolish.  A  prisoner's  got  to 
have  some  kind  of  a  dumb  pet,  and  if  a  rattlesnake 
hain't  ever  been  tried,  why,  there's  more  glory  to  be 
gained  in  your  being  the  first  to  ever  try  it  than  any 
other  way  you  could  ever  think  of  to  save  your  life." 

"Why,  Mars  Tom,  I  doan'  want  no  sich  glory. 
Snake  take  'n  bite  Jim's  chin  off,  den  whah  is  de 
glory?  No,  sah,  I  doan'  want  no  sich  doin's," 


Huckleberry  Finn  337 

"  Blame  it,  can't  you  try  ?  I  only  want  you  to  try 
—  you  needn't  keep  it  up  if  it  don't  work." 

"  But  de  trouble  all  done  ef  de  snake  bite  me  while 
I's  a  tryin'  him.  Mars  Tom,  I's  willin'  to  tackle  mos' 
anything  'at  ain't  onreasonable,  but  ef  you  en  Huck 
fetches  a  rattlesnake  in  heah  for  me  to  tame,  I's 
gwyne  to  leave,  dat's  shore." 

"Well,  then,  let  it  go,  let  it  go,  if  you're  so  bull- 
headed  about  it.  We  can  get  you  some  garter-snakes, 
and  you  can  tie  some  buttons  on  their  tails,  and  let  on 
they're  rattlesnakes,  and  I  reckon  that  '11  have  to  do." 

"  I  k'n  stan'  dem,  Mars  Tom,  but  blame'  'f  I 
couldn'  get  along  widout  um,  I  tell  you  dat.  I  never 
knowed  b'fo'  't  was  so  much  bother  and  trouble  to  be 
a  prisoner." 

"  Well,  it  always  is  when  it's  done  right.  You  got 
any  rats  around  here?" 

4<  No,  sah,  I  hain't  seed  none." 

"  Well,  we'll  get  you  some  rats." 

"Why,  Mars  Tom,  I  doan'  want  no  rats.  Dey's 
de  dadblamedest  creturs  to  'sturb  a  body,  en  rustle 
roun'  over  'im,  en  bite  his  feet,  when  he's  tryin'  to 
sleep,  I  ever  see.  No,  sah,  gimme  g'yarter-snakes,  'f 
I's  got  to  have  'm,  but  doan'  gimme  no  rats;  I  hain' 
got  no  use  f'r  um,  skasely." 

"  But,  Jim,  you  got  to  have  'em  —  they  all  do.  So 
don't  make  no  more  fuss  about  it.  Prisoners  ain't 
ever  without  rats.  There  ain't  no  instance  of  it.  And 
they  train  them,  and  pet  them,  and  learn  them  tricks, 
and  they  get  to  be  as  sociable  as  flies.  But  you  got  to 
play  music  tc  them.  You  got  anything  to  play  music 
on?" 

11  I  ain'  got  nuffn  but  a  coase  comb  en  a  piece  o' 
paper,  en  a  juice-harp;  but  I  reck'n  dey  wouldn'  take 
no  stock  in  a  juice-harp." 

/'Yes  they  would.  They  don't  care  what  kind  of 
22 


338  Huckleberry  Finn 

music  'tis.  A  jews-harp's  plenty  good  enough  for  a 
rat.  All  animals  like  music  —  in  a  prison  they  dote 
on  it.  Specially,  painful  music;  and  you  can't  get  no 
other  kind  out  of  a  jews-harp.  It  always  interests 
them;  they  come  out  to  see  what's  the  matter  with 
you.  Yes,  you're  all  right;  you're  fixed  very  well. 
You  want  to  set  on  your  bed  nights  before  you  go  to 
sleep,  and  early  in  the  mornings,  and  play  your  jews- 
harp ;  play  'The  Last  Link  is  Broken' — that's  the 
thing  that  '11  scoop  a  rat  quicker  'n  anything  else;  and 
when  you've  played  about  two  minutes  you'll  see  all 
the  rats,  and  the  snakes,  and  spiders,  and  things  begin 
to  feel  worried  about  you,  and  come.  And  they'k 
just  fairly  swarm  over  you,  and  have  a  noble  good 
time." 

'Yes,  dey  will,  I  reck'n,  Mars  Tom,  but  what  kine 
er  time  \sjim  havin'  ?  Blest  if  I  kin  see  de  pint.  But 
I'll  do  it  ef  I  got  to.  I  reck'n  I  better  keep  de  animals 
satisfied,  en  not  have  no  trouble  in  de  house." 

Tom  waited  to  think  it  over,  and  see  if  there  wasn't 
nothing  else ;  and  pretty  soon  he  says : 

"  Oh,  there's  one  thing  I  forgot.  Could  you  raise 
a  flower  here,  do  you  reckon?" 

"  I  doan'  know  but  maybe  I  could,  Mars  Tom;  but 
it's  tolable  dark  in  heah,  en  I  ain'  got  no  use  f'r  no 
flower,  nohow,  en  she'd  be  a  pow'ful  sight  o'  trouble." 

"Well,  you  try  it,  anyway.  Some  other  prisoners 
has  done  it." 

"  One  er  dem  big  cat-tail-lookin'  mullen-stalks  would 
grow  in  heah,  Mars  Tom,  I  reck'n,  but  she  wouldn't 
be  wuth  half  de  trouble  she'd  coss." 

"  Don't  you  believe  it.  We'll  fetch  you  a  little  one, 
and  you  plant  it  in  the  corner  over  there,  and  raise  it. 
And  don't  call  it  mullen,  call  it  Pitchiola  —  that's  its 
right  name  when  it's  in  a  prison.  And  you  want  to 
water  it  with  your  tears." 


Huckleberry  Finn  339 

"  Why,  I  got  plenty  spring  water,  Mars  Tom." 
*  You  don't  want  spring  water;  you  want  to  water 
it  with  your  tears.     It's  the  way  they  always  do.1' 

"Why,  Mars  Tom,  I  lay  I  kin  raise  one  er  dem 
mullen-stalks  twyste  wid  spring  water  whiles  another 
man's  a  start 'n  one  wid  tears." 

*'  That  ain't  the  idea.     You  got  to  do  it  with  tears." 

"  She'll  die  on  my  han's,  Mars  Tom,  she  sholy 
will;  kase  I  doan'  skasely  ever  cry." 

So  Tom  was  stumped.  But  he  studied  it  over,  and 
then  said  Jim  would  have  to  worry  along  the  best  he 
could  with  an  onion.  He  promised  he  would  go  to  the 
nigger  cabins  and  drop  one,  private,  in  Jim's  coffee 
pot,  in  the  morning.  Jim  said  he  would  "  jis'  's  soon 
have  tobacker  in  his  coffee;"  and  found  so  much  fault 
with  it,  and  with  the  work  and  bother  of  raising  the 
mullen,  and  jews-harping  the  rats,  and  petting  and 
flattering  up  the  snakes  and  spiders  and  things,  on  top 
of  all  the  other  work  he  had  to  do  on  pens,  and  in 
scriptions,  and  journals,  and  things,  which  made  it 
more  trouble  and  worry  and  responsibility  to  be  a 
prisoner  than  anything  he  ever  undertook,  that  Tom 
most  lost  all  patience  with  him ;  and  said  he  was  just 
loadened  down  with  more  gaudier  chances  than  a 
prisoner  ever  had  in  the  world  to  make  a  name  for 
himself,  and  yet  he  didn't  know  enough  to  appreciate 
them,  and  they  was  just  about  wasted  on  him.  So 
Jim  he  was  sorry,  and  said  he  wouldn't  behave  so  no 
more,  and  then  me  and  Tom  shoved  for  bed. 


CHAPTER   XXXIX. 

IN  the  morning  we  went  up  to  the  village  and  bought 
a  wire  rat-trap  and  fetched  it  down,  and  unstopped 
the  best  rat-hole,  and  in  about  an  hour  we  had  fifteen 
of  the  bulliest  kind  of  ones ;  and  then  we  took  it  and 
put  it  in  a  safe  place  under  Aunt  Sally's  bed.  But 
while  we  was  gone  for  spiders  little  Thomas  Franklin 
Benjamin  Jefferson  Elexander  Phelps  found  it  there, 
and  opened  the  door  of  it  to  see  if  the  rats  would  come 
out,  and  they  did ;  and  Aunt  Sally  she  come  in,  and 
when  we  got  back  she  was  a-standing  on  top  of  the  bed 
raising  Cain,  and  the  rats  was  doing  what  they  could  to 
keep  off  the  dull  times  for  her.  So  she  took  and 
dusted  us  both  with  the  hickry,  and  we  was  as  much 
as  two  hours  catching  another  fifteen  or  sixteen,  drat 
that  meddlesome  cub,  and  they  warn'c  the  likeliest, 
nuther,  because  the  first  haul  was  the  pick  of  the  flock. 
I  never  see  a  likelier  lot  of  rats  than  what  that  first 
haul  was. 

We  got  a  splendid  stock  of  sorted  spiders,  and  bugs, 
and  frogs,  and  caterpillars,  and  one  thing  or  another; 
and  we  like  to  got  a  hornet's  nest,  but  we  didn't.  The 
family  was  at  home.  We  didn't  give  it  right  up,  but 
stayed  with  them  as  long  as  we  could ;  because  we 
allowed  we'd  tire  them  out  or  they'd  got  to  tire  us 
out,  and  they  done  it.  Then  we  got  allycumpain  and 
rubbed  on  the  places,  and  was  pretty  near  all  right 
again,  but  couldn't  set  down  convenient,  And  so  we 

(340) 


Huckleberry  Finn  341 

went  for  the  snakes,  and  grabbed  a  couple  of  dozen 
garters  and  house-snakes,  and  put  them  in  a  bag,  and 
put  it  in  our  room,  and  by  that  time  it  was  supper- 
time,  and  a  rattling  good  honest  day's  work:  and 
hungry?  —  oh,  no,  I  reckon  not!  And  there  warn't  a 
blessed  snake  up  there  when  we  went  back  —  we  didn't 
half  tie  the  sack,  and  they  worked  out  somehow,  and 
left.  But  it  didn't  matter  much,  because  they  was 
still  on  the  premises  somewheres.  So  we  judged  we 
could  get  some  of  them  again.  No,  there  warn't  no 
real  scarcity  of  snakes  about  the  house  for  a  consider 
able  spell.  You'd  see  them  dripping  from  the  rafters 
and  places  every  now  and  then ;  and  they  generly 
landed  in  your  plate,  or  down  the  back  of  your  neck, 
and  most  of  the  time  where  you  didn't  want  them. 
Well,  they  was  handsome  and  striped,  and  there  warn't 
no  harm  in  a  million  of  them ;  but  that  never  made  no 
difference  to  Aunt  Sally ;  she  despised  snakes,  be  the 
breed  what  they  might,  and  she  couldn't  stand  them 
no  way  you  could  fix  it ;  and  every  time  one  of  them 
flopped  down  on  her,  it  didn't  make  no  difference  what 
she  was  doing,  she  would  just  lay  that  work  down  and 
light  out.  I  never  see  such  a  woman.  And  you  could 
hear  her  whoop  to  Jericho.  You  couldn't  get  her  to 
take  a-holt  of  one  of  them  with  the  tongs.  And  if  she 
turned  over  and  found  one  in  bed  she  would  scramble 
out  and  lift  a  howl  that  you  would  think  the  house  was 
afire.  She  disturbed  the  old  man  so  that  he  said  he 
could  most  wish  there  hadn't  ever  been  no  snakes 
created.  Why,  after  every  last  snake  had  been  gone 
clear  out  of  the  house  for  as  much  as  a  week  Aunt 
Sally  warn't  over  it  yet;  she  warn't  near  over  it;  when 
she  was  setting  thinking  about  something  you  could 
touch  her  on  the  back  of  her  neck  with  a  feather  and 
she  would  jump  right  out  of  her  stockings.  It  was 
very  curious.  But  Tom  said  all  women  was  just  so. 


342  Huckleberry  Finn 

He  said  they  was  made  that  way  for  some  reason  or 
other. 

We  got  a  licking  every  time  one  of  our  snakes  come 
in  her  way,  and  she  allowed  these  lickings  warn't  noth 
ing  to  what  she  would  do  if  we  ever  loaded  up  the 
place  again  with  them.  I  didn't  mind  the  lickings, 
because  they  didn't  amount  to  nothing;  but  I  minded 
the  trouble  we  had  to  lay  in  another  lot.  But  we  got 
them  laid  in,  and  all  the  other  things;  and  you  never 
see  a  cabin  as  blithesome  as  Jim's  was  when  they'd  all 
swarm  out  for  music  and  go  for  him.  Jim  didn't  like 
the  spiders,  and  the  spiders  didn't  like  Jim;  and  so 
they'd  lay  for  him,  and  make  it  mighty  warm  for  him. 
And  he  said  that  between  the  rats  and  the  snakes  and 
the  grindstone  there  warn't  no  room  in  bed  for  him, 
skasely;  and  when  there  was,  a  body  couldn't  sleep,  it 
was  so  lively,  and  it  was  always  lively,  he  said,  because 
they  never  all  slept  at  one  time,  but  took  turn  about, 
so  when  the  snakes  was  asleep  the  rats  was  on  deck, 
and  when  the  rats  turned  in  the  snakes  come  on  watch, 
so  he  always  had  one  gang  under  him,  in  his  way,  and 
t'other  gang  having  a  circus  over  him,  and  if  he  got 
up  to  hunt  a  new  place  the  spiders  would  take  a  chance 
at  him  as  he  crossed  over.  He  said  if  he  ever  got  out 
this  time  he  wouldn't  ever  be  a  prisoner  again,  not  for 
a  salary. 

Well,  by  the  end  of  three  weeks  everything  was  in 
pretty  good  shape.  The  shirt  was  sent  in  early,  in  a 
pie,  and  every  time  a  rat  bit  Jim  he  would  get  up  and 
write  a  little  in  his  journal  whilst  the  ink  was  fresh ;  the 
pens  was  made,  the  inscriptions  and  so  on  was  all 
carved  on  the  grindstone;  the  bed-leg  was  sawed  in 
two,  and  we  had  et  up  the  sawdust,  and  it  give  us  a 
most  amazing  stomach-ache.  We  reckoned  we  was  all 
going  to  die,  but  didn't.  It  was  the  most  undigestible 
sawdust  I  ever  see ;  and  Tom  said  the  same.  But  as  I 


Huckleberry  Finn  343 

was  saying,  we'd  got  all  the  work  done  now,  at  last; 
and  we  was  all  pretty  much  fagged  out,  too,  but  mainly 
Jim.  The  old  man  had  wrote  a  couple  of  times  to  the 
plantation  below  Orleans  to  come  and  get  their  run 
away  nigger,  but  hadn't  got  no  answer,  because  there 
warn't  no  such  plantation;  so  he  allowed  he  would  ad 
vertise  Jim  in  the  St.  Louis  and  New  Orleans  papers ; 
and  when  he  mentioned  the  St.  Louis  ones  it  give  me 
the  cold  shivers,  and  I  see  we  hadn't  no  time  to  lose. 
So  Tom  said,  now  for  the  nonnamous  letters. 

44  What's  them?"   I  says. 

"Warnings  to  the  people  that  something  is  up. 
Sometimes  it's  done  one  way,  sometimes  another. 
But  there's  always  somebody  spying  around  that  gives 
notice  to  the  governor  of  the  castle.  When  Louis 
XVI.  was  going  to  light  out  of  the  Tooleries  a  servant- 
girl  done  it.  It's  a  very  good  way,  and  so  is  the 
nonnamous  letters.  We'll  use  them  both.  And  it's 
usual  for  the  prisoner's  mother  to  change  clothes  with 
him,  and  she  stays  in,  and  he  slides  out  in  her  clothes. 
We'll  do  that,  too." 

"  But  looky  here,  Tom,  what  do  we  want  to  warn 
anybody  for  that  something's  up?  Let  them  find  it 
out  for  themselves  —  it's  their  lookout." 

'Yes,  I  know;  but  you  can't  depend  on  them. 
It's  the  way  they've  acted  from  the  very  start —  left 
us  to  do  everything.  They're  so  confiding  and  mullet- 
headed  they  don't  take  notice  of  nothing  at  all.  So  if 
we  don't  give  them  notice  there  won't  be  nobody  nor 
nothing  to  interfere  with  us,  and  so  after  all  our  hard 
work  and  trouble  this  escape  '11  go  off  perfectly  flat; 
won't  amount  to  nothing  —  won't  be  nothing  to  it." 

"  Well,  as  for  me,  Tom,  that's  the  way  I'd  like." 

"Shucks!"  he  says,   and  looked  disgusted.     Sol 
says: 
'  "But   I  ain't  going  to  make  no  complaint.     Any 


344  Huckleberry  Finn 

way  that  suits  you  suits  me.  What  you  going  to  do 
about  the  servant-girl?" 

"  You'll  be  her.  You  slide  in,  in  the  middle  of  the 
night,  and  hook  that  yaller  girl's  frock." 

"  Why,  Tom,  that  '11  make  trouble  next  morning; 
because,  of  course,  she  prob'bly  hain't  got  any  but 
that  one." 

" 1  know;  but  you  don't  want  it  but  fifteen  minutes, 
to  carry  the  nonnamous  letter  and  shove  it  under  the 
front  door." 

"  All  right,  then,  I'll  do  it;  but  I  could  carry  it  just 
as  handy  in  my  own  togs." 

"  You  wouldn't  look  like  a  servant-girl  then,  would 
you?" 

"  No,  but  there  won't  be  nobody  to  see  what  I  look 
like,  anyway." 

"That  ain't  got  nothing  to  do  with  it.  The  thing 
for  us  to  do  is  just  to  do  our  duty,  and  not  worry 
about  whether  anybody  sees  us  do  it  or  not.  Hain't 
you  got  no  principle  at  all?" 

"  All  right,  I  ain't  saying  nothing;  I'm  the  servant- 
girl.  Who's  Jim's  mother?" 

"I'm  his  mother.  I'll  hook  a  gown  from  Aunt 
Sally." 

"  Well,  then,  you'll  have  to  stay  in  the  cabin  when 
me  and  Jim  leaves . ' ' 

"Not  much.  I'll  stuff  Jim's  clothes  full  of  straw 
and  lay  it  on  his  bed  to  represent  his  mother  in  dis 
guise,  and  Jim  '11  take  the  nigger  woman's  gown  off  of 
me  and  wear  it,  and  we'll  all  evade  together.  When  a 
prisoner  of  style  escapes  it's  called  an  evasion.  It's 
always  called  so  when  a  king  escapes,  f'rinstance. 
And  the  same  with  a  king's  son ;  it  don't  make  no  differ 
ence  whether  he's  a  natural  one  or  an  unnatural  one." 

So  Tom  he  wrote  the  nonnamous  letter,  and  I 
smouched  the  yaller  wench's  frock  that  night,  and  put 


Huckleberry  Finn  345 

it  on,  and  shoved  it  under  the  front  door,  the  way  Tom 
told  me  to.     It  said : 

Beware.      Troitble  is  brewing.     Keep  a  sharp  lookout. 

UNKNOWN  FRIEND. 

Next  night  we  stuck  a  picture,  which  Tom  drawed 
in  blood,  of  a  skull  and  crossbones  on  the  front  door; 
and  next  night  another  one  of  a  coffin  on  the  back 
door.  I  never  see  a  family  in  such  a  sweat.  They 
couldn't  a  been  worse  scared  if  the  place  had  a  been 
full  of  ghosts  laying  for  them  behind  everything  and 
under  the  beds  and  shivering  through  the  air.  If  a 
door  banged,  Aunt  Sally  she  jumped  and  said 
"ouch!"  if  anything  fell,  she  jumped  and  said 
"ouch!"  if  you  happened  to  touch  her,  when  she 
warn't  noticing,  she  done  the  same;  she  couldn't  face 
noway  and  be  satisfied,  because  she  allowed  there  was 
something  behind  her  every  time — so  she  was  always 
a-whirling  around  sudden,  and  saying  '*  ouch,"  and 
before  she'd  got  two-thirds  around  she'd  whirl  back 
again,  and  say  it  again;  and  she  was  afraid  to  go  to 
bed,  but  she  dasn't  set  up.  So  the  thing  was  working 
very  well,  Tom  said ;  he  said  he  never  see  a  thing 
work  more  satisfactory.  He  said  it  showed  it  was 
done  right. 

So  he  said,  now  for  the  grand  bulge!  So  the  very 
next  morning  at  the  streak  of  dawn  we  got  another 
letter  ready,  and  was  wondering  what  we  better  do  with 
it,  because  we  heard  them  say  at  supper  they  was 
going  to  have  a  nigger  on  watch  at  both  doors  all 
night.  Tom  he  went  down  the  lightning-rod  to  spy 
around ;  and  the  nigger  at  the  back  door  was  asleep, 
and  he  stuck  it  in  the  back  of  his  neck  and  come  back. 
This  letter  said : 

Don't  betray  me^  I  wish  to  be  your  friend.  There  is  a  desprate 
gang  of  cut-throats  from  over  in  the  Ingean  Territory  going  to  steal 


346  Huckleberry  Finn 

your  runaway  nigger  to-night,  and  they  have  been  trying  to  scare  you 
so  as  you  will  stay  in  the  house  and  not  bother  them.  I  am  one  of  the 
gang,  but  have  got  religgion  and  wish  to  quit  it  and  lead  an  honest 
life  again,  and  will  betray  the  helish  design.  They  will  sneak  down 
from  northards,  along  the  fence,  at  midnight  exact,  with  a  false  key, 
and  go  in  the  nigger's  cabin  to  get  him.  I  am  to  be  off  a  piece 
and  blow  a  tin  horn  if  I  see  any  danger ;  but  stead  of  that  I  will  BA 
like  a  sheep  soon  as  they  get  in  and  not  blow  at  all ;  then  whilst  they 
are  getting  his  chains  loose,  you  slip  there  and  lock  them  in,  and  can 
kill  them  at  your  leasure.  Don't  do  anything  but  just  the  way  I  am 
telling  you  ;  if  you  do  they  will  suspicion  something  and  raise  whoop- 
jamboreehoo.  I  do  not  wish  any  reward  but  to  know  I  Jiave  done  the 
right  thing. 

FRIEND. 


CHAPTER   XL. 

XV/E  was  feeling  pretty  good  after  breakfast,  and 
W  took  my  canoe  and  went  over  the  river  a-fishing, 
with  a  lunch,  and  had  a  good  time,  and  took  a  look  at 
the  raft  and  found  her  all  right,  and  got  home  late  to 
supper,  and  found  them  in  such  a  sweat  and  worry 
they  didn't  know  which  end  they  was  standing  on,  and 
made  us  go  right  off  to  bed  the  minute  we  was  done 
supper,  and  wouldn't  tell  us  what  the  trouble  was,  and 
never  let  on  a  word  about  the  new  letter,  but  didn't 
need  to,  because  we  knowed  as  much  about  it  as 
anybody  did,  and  as  soon  as  we  was  half  up  stairs  and 
her  back  was  turned  we  slid  for  the  cellar  cubboard 
and  loaded  up  a  good  lunch  and  took  it  up  to  our 
room  and  went  to  bed,  and  got  up  about  half-past 
eleven,  and  Tom  put  on  Aunt  Sally's  dress  that  he 
stole  and  was  going  to  start  with  the  lunch,  but  says : 

"Where's  the  butter?" 

"  I  laid  out  a  hunk  of  it,"  I  says,  "  on  a  piece  of  a 
corn-pone." 

"  Well,  you  left  it  laid  out,  then  —  it  ain't  here." 

l<  We  can  get  along  without  it,"  I  says. 

"We  can  get  along  with  it,  too,"  he  says;  "just 
you  slide  down  cellar  and  fetch  it.  And  then  mosey 
right  down  the  lightning-rod  and  come  along.  I'll  go 
and  stuff  the  straw  into  Jim's  clothes  to  represent  his 
mother  in  disguise,  and  be  ready  to  ba  like  a  sheep 
'and  shove  soon  as  you  get  there." 

(347) 


348  Huckleberry  Finn 

So  out  he  went,  and  down  cellar  went  I.  The  hunk 
of  butter,  big  as  a  person's  fist,  was  where  I  had  left 
it,  so  I  took  up  the  slab  of  corn-pone  with  it  on,  and 
blowed  out  my  light,  and  started  up  stairs  very 
stealthy,  and  got  up  to  the  main  floor  all  right,  but 
here  comes  Aunt  Sally  with  a  candle,  and  I  clapped 
the  truck  in  my  hat,  and  clapped  my  hat  on  my  head, 
and  the  next  second  she  see  me ;  and  she  says : 

"  You  been  down  cellar?''* 

"Yes'm." 

"  What  you  been  doing  down  there?" 

"Noth'n." 

"  NotKn!" 

"No'm." 

"Well,  then,  what  possessed  you  to  go  down  there 
this  time  of  night?" 

"  I  don't  know  'm." 

"You  don't  know?  Don't  answer  me  that  way. 
Tom,  I  want  to  know  what  you  been  doing  down 
there." 

"  I  hain't  been  doing  a  single  thing,  Aunt  Sally,  I 
hope  to  gracious  if  I  have." 

I  reckoned  she'd  let  me  go  now,  and  as  a  generl 
thing  she  would ;  but  I  s'pose  there  was  so  many 
strange  things  going  on  she  was  just  in  a  sweat  about 
every  little  thing  that  warn't  yard-stick  straight;  so  she 
says,  very  decided : 

"You  just  march  into  that  setting-room  and  stay 
there  till  I  come.  You  been  up  to  something  you  no 
business  to,  and  I  lay  I'll  find  out  what  it  is  before  I'm 
done  with  you." 

So  she  went  away  as  I  opened  the  door  and  walked 
into  the  setting-room.  My,  but  there  was  a  crowd 
there !  Fifteen  farmers,  and  every  one  of  them  had  a 
gun.  I  was  most  powerful  sick,  and  slunk  to  a  chair 
and  set  down.  They  was  setting  around,  some  of  them 


Huckleberry  Finn  349 

talking  a  little,  in  a  low  voice,  and  all  of  them  fidgety 
and  uneasy,  but  trying  to  look  like  they  warn't;  but  I 
knowed  they  was,  because  they  was  always  taking  off 
their  hats,  and  putting  them  on,  and  scratching  their 
heads,  and  changing  their  seats,  and  fumbling  with 
their  buttons.  I  warn't  easy  myself,  but  I  didn't  take 
my  hat  off,  all  the  same. 

I  did  wish  Aunt  Sally  would  come,  and  get  done 
with  me,  and  lick  me,  if  she  wanted  to,  and  let  me  get 
away  and  tell  Tom  how  we'd  overdone  this  thing,  and 
what  a  thundering  hornet' s-nest  we'd  got  ourselves 
into,  so  we  could  stop  fooling  around  straight  off,  and 
clear  out  with  Jim  before  these  rips  got  out  of  patience 
and  come  for  us. 

At  last  she  come  and  begun  to  ask  me  questions, 
but  I  couldrit  answer  them  straight,  I  didn't  know 
which  end  of  me  was  up ;  because  these  men  was  in 
such  a  fidget  now  that  some  was  wanting  to  start  right 
now  and  lay  for  them  desperadoes,  and  saying  it  warn't 
but  a  few  minutes  to  midnight;  and  others  was  trying 
to  get  them  to  hold  on  and  wait  for  the  sheep-signal ; 
and  here  was  Aunty  pegging  away  at  the  questions, 
and  me  a-shaking  all  over  and  ready  to  sink  down  in 
my  tracks  I  was  that  scared ;  and  the  place  getting 
hotter  and  hotter,  and  the  butter  beginning  to  melt  and 
run  down  my  neck  and  behind  my  ears ;  and  pretty 
soon,  when  one  of  them  says,  '*  I'm  for  going  and 
getting  in  the  cabin  first  and  right  now,  and  catching 
them  when  they  come,"  I  most  dropped;  and  a  streak 
of  butter  come  a- trickling  down  my  forehead,  and 
Aunt  Sally  she  see  it,  and  turns  white  as  a  sheet,  and 
says: 

"For  the  land's  sake,  what  is  the  matter  with  the 
child?  He's  got  the  brain-fever  as  shore  as  you're 
born,  and  they're  oozing  out!" 

And  everybody  runs  to  see,  and  she  snatches  off  my 


350  Huckleberry  Finn 

hat,  and  out  comes  the  bread  and  what  was  left  of  the 
butter,  and  she  grabbed  me,  and  hugged  me,  and 
says: 

"  Oh,  what  a  turn  you  did  give  me!  and  how  glad 
and  grateful  I  am  it  ain't  no  worse;  for  luck's  against 
us,  and  it  never  rains  but  it  pours,  and  when  I  see  that 
truck  I  thought  we'd  lost  you,  for  I  knowed  by  the 
color  and  all  it  was  just  like  your  brains  would  be  if- 
Dear,  dear,  whyd'nt  you  tell  me  that  was  what  you'd 
been  down  there  for,  /  wouldn't  a  cared.  Now  cler 
out  to  bed,  and  don't  lemme  see  no  more  of  you  till 
morning!" 

I  was  up  stairs  in  a  second,  and  down  the  lightning- 
rod  in  another  one,  and  shinning  through  the  dark  for 
the  lean-to.  I  couldn't  hardly  get  my  words  out,  I 
was  so  anxious ;  but  I  told  Tom  as  quick  as  I  could 
we  must  jump  for  it  now,  and  not  a  minute  to  lose  — 
the  house  full  of  men,  yonder,  with  guns ! 

His  eyes  just  blazed ;   and  he  says : 

' '  No  !  —  is  that  so  ?  Ain't  it  bully  !  Why,  Huck, 
if  it  was  to  do  over  again,  I  bet  I  could  fetch  two  hun 
dred  !  If  we  could  put  it  off  till — " 

"Hurry!  hurry!"   I  says.      "  Where's  Jim?" 

"Right  at  your  elbow;  if  you  reach  out  your  arm 
you  can  touch  him.  He's  dressed,  and  everything's 
ready.  Now  we'll  slide  out  and  give  the  sheep- 
signal." 

But  then  we  heard  the  tramp  of  men  coming  to  the 
door,  and  heard  them  begin  to  fumble  with  the  pad 
lock,  and  heard  a  man  say : 

"I  told  you  we'd  be  too  soon;  they  haven't  come 
—  the  door  is  locked.  Here,  I'll  lock  some  of  you 
into  the  cabin,  and  you  lay  for  'em  in  the  dark  and  kill 
'em  when  they  come;  and  the  rest  scatter  around  a 
piece,  and  listen  if  you  can  hear  'em  coming." 

So  in  they  come,  but  couldn't  see  us  in  the  dark,  and 


Huckleberry  Finn  351 

most  trod  on  us  whilst  we  was  hustling  to  get  under 
the  bed.  But  we  got  under  all  right,  and  out  through 
the  hole,  swift  but  soft  —  Jim  first,  me  next,  and  Tom 
last,  which  was  according  to  Tom's  orders.  Now  we 
was  in  the  lean-to,  and  heard  trampings  close  by  out 
side.  So  we  crept  to  the  door,  and  Tom  stopped  us 
there  and  put  his  eye  to  the  crack,  but  couldn't  make 
out  nothing,  it  was  so  dark ;  and  whispered  and  said 
he  would  listen  for  the  steps  to  get  further,  and  when 
he  nudged  us  Jim  must  glide  out  first,  and  him  last. 
So  he  set  his  ear  to  the  crack  and  listened,  and 
listened,  and  listened,  and  the  steps  a-scraping  around 
out  there  all  the  time ;  and  at  last  he  nudged  us,  and 
we  slid  out,  and  stooped  down,  not  breathing,  and  not 
making  the  least  noise,  and  slipped  stealthy  towards  the 
fence  in  Injun  file,  and  got  to  it  all  right,  and  me  and 
Jim  over  it ;  but  Tom's  britches  catched  fast  on  a  splinter 
on  the  top  rail,  and  then  he  hear  the  steps  coming,  so  he 
had  to  pull  loose,  which  snapped  the  splinter  and  made 
a  noise ;  and  as  he  dropped  in  our  tracks  and  started 
somebody  sings  out: 

14  Who's  that?     Answer,  or  I'll  shoot  I" 

But  we  didn't  answer;  we  just  unfurled  our  heels 
and  shoved.  Then  there  was  a  rush,  and  a  bang,  bang, 
bang!  and  the  bullets  fairly  whizzed  around  us !  We 
heard  them  sing  out : 

"Here  they  are!  They've  broke  for  the  river! 
After  'em,  boys,  and  turn  loose  the  dogs!" 

So  here  they  come,  full  tilt.  We  could  hear  them 
because  they  wore  boots  and  yelled,  but  we  didn't  wear 
no  boots  and  didn't  yell.  We  was  in  the  path  to  the 
mill ;  and  when  they  got  pretty  close  on  to  us  we 
dodged  into  the  bush  and  let  them  go  by,  and  then 
dropped  in  behind  them.  They'd  had  all  the  dogs 
shut  up,  so  they  wouldn't  scare  off  the  robbers;  but 
by  this  time  somebody  had  let  them  loose,  and  here 


352  Huckleberry  Finn 

they  come,  making  powwow  enough  for  a  million;  but 
they  was  our  dogs ;  so  we  stopped  in  our  tracks  till 
they  catched  up;  and  when  they  see  it  warn't  nobody 
but  us,  and  no  excitement  to  offer  them,  they  only  just 
said  howdy,  and  tore  right  ahead  towards  the  shouting 
and  clattering;  and  then  we  up^steam  again,  and 
whizzed  along  after  them  till  we  was  nearly  to  the 
mill,  and  then  struck  up  through  the  bush  to  where 
my  canoe  was  tied,  and  hopped  in  and  pulled  for  dear 
life  towards  the  middle  of  the  river,  but  didn't  make 
no  more  noise  than  we  was  obleeged  to.  Then  we 
struck  out,  easy  and  comfortable,  for  the  island  where 
my  raft  was;  and  we  could  hear  them  yelling  and 
barking  at  each  other  all  up  and  down  the  bank,  till  we 
was  so  far  away  the  sounds  got  dim  and  died  out. 
And  when  we  stepped  on  to  the  raft  I  says : 

"  Now,  old  Jim,  you're  a  free  man  again,  and  I  bet 
you  won't  ever  be  a  slave  no  more." 

"  En  a  mighty  good  job  it  wuz,  too,  Huck.  It  'uz 
planned  beautiful,  en  it  'uz  done  beautiful;  en  dey 
ain't  nobody  kin  git  up  a  plan  dat's  mo'  mixed-up  en 
splendid  den  what  dat  one  wuz." 

We  was  all  glad  as  we  could  be,  but  Tom  was  the 
gladdest  of  all  because  he  had  a  bullet  in  the  calf  of 
his  leg. 

When  me  and  Jim  heard  that  we  didn't  feel  so  brash 
as  what  we  did  before.  It  was  hurting  him  consider 
able,  and  bleeding;  so  we  laid  him  in  the  wigwam  and 
tore  up  one  of  the  duke's  shirts  for  to  bandage  him, 
but  he  says : 

"  Gimme  the  rags;  I  can  do  it  myself.  Don't  stop 
now;  don't  fool  around  here,  and  the  evasion  booming 
along  so  handsome ;  man  the  sweeps,  and  set  her 
loose!  Boys,  we  done  it  elegant! — 'deed  we  did.  I 
wish  wed  a  had  the  handling  of  Louis  XVI.,  there 
wouldn't  a  been  no  '  Son  of  Saint  Louis,  ascend  to 


Huckleberry  Finn  353 

heaven!'  wrote  down  in  his  biography;  no,  sir,  we'd 
a  whooped  him  over  the  border — that's  what  we'd  a 
done  with  him  —  and  done  it  just  as  slick  as  nothing 
at  all,  too.  Man  the  sweeps  —  man  the  sweeps!" 

But  me  and  Jim  was  consulting — and  thinking. 
And  after  we'd  thought  a  minute,  I  says: 

"Say  it,  Jim." 

So  he  says : 

"  Well,  den,  dis  is  de  way  it  look  to  me,  Huck.  Ef 
it  wuz  hint  dat  'uz  bein'  sot  free,  en  one  er  de  boys 
wuz  to  git  shot,  would  he  say,  *  Go  on  en  save  me, 
nemmine  'bout  a  doctor  f'r  to  save  dis  one?'  Is  dat 
like  Mars  Tom  Sawyer?  Would  he  say  dat?  You  bet 
he  wouldn't!  Well,  den,  is  Jim  gywne  to  say  it? 
No,  sah  —  I  doan'  budge  a  step  out'n  dis  place  'dout 
a  doctor ;  not  if  it's  forty  year !" 

I  knowed  he  was  white  inside,  and  I  reckoned  he'd 
say  what  he  did  say  —  so  it  was  all  right  now,  and  I 
told  Tom  I  was  a-going  for  a  doctor.  He  raised  con 
siderable  row  about  it,  but  me  and  Jim  stuck  to  it  and 
wouldn't  budge;  so  he  was  for  crawling  out  and  set 
ting  the  raft  loose  himself;  but  we  wouldn't  let  him. 
Then  he  give  us  a  piece  of  his  mind,  but  it  didn't  do 
no  good. 

So  when  he  sees  me  getting  the  canoe  ready,  he 
says: 

"  Well,  then,  if  you're  bound  to  go,  I'll  tell  you  the 
way  to  do  when  you  get  to  the  village.  Shut  the  door 
and  blindfold  the  doctor  tight  and  fast,  and  make  him 
swear  to  be  silent  as  the  grave,  and  put  a  purse  full  of 
gold  in  his  hand,  and  then  take  and  lead  him  all  around 
the  back  alleys  and  every wheres  in  the  dark,  and  then 
fetch  him  here  in  the  canoe,  in  a  roundabout  way 
amongst  the  islands,  and  search  him  and  take  his  chalk 
away  from  him,  and  don't  give  it  back  to  him  till 
you  get  him  back  to  the  village,  or  else  he  will  chalk 


354  Huckleberry  Finn 

this  raft  so  he  can   find   it  again.     It's  the  way  they 
all  do." 

So  I  said  I  would,  and  left,  and  Jim  was  to  hide  in 
the  woods  when  he  see  the  doctor  coming  till  he  was 
gone  again. 


CHAPTER   XLI. 

THE  doctor  was  an  old  man ;  a  very  nice,  kind-look 
ing  old  man  when  I  got  him  up.  I  told  him 
me  and  my  brother  was  over  on  Spanish  Island  hunt 
ing  yesterday  afternoon,  and  camped  on  a  piece  of  a 
raft  we  found,  and  about  midnight  he  must  a  kicked  his 
gun  in  his  dreams,  for  it  went  off  and  shot  him  in  the 
leg,  and  we  wanted  him  to  go  over  there  and  fix  it  and 
not  say  nothing  about  it,  nor  let  anybody  know,  be 
cause  we  wanted  to  come  home  this  evening  and  sur 
prise  the  folks. 

;*  Who  is  your  folks?"   he  says. 

;<  The  Phelpses,  down  yonder." 

"Oh,"    he  says.     And  after  a  minute,  he  says: 

11  How'd  you  say  he  got  shot?" 

11  He  had  a  dream,"  I  says,  "  and  it  shot  him.;' 

"  Singular  dream,"  he  says. 

So  he  lit  up  his  lantern,  and  got  his  saddle-bags,  and 
we  started.  But  when  he  see  the  canoe  he  didn't  like 
the  look  of  her  —  said  she  was  big  enough  for  one,  but 
didn't  look  pretty  safe  for  two.  I  says: 

"  Oh,  you  needn't  be  afeard,  sir,  she  carried  the 
three  of  us  easy  enough." 

"What  three?" 

"Why,  me  and  Sid,  and  —  and  —  and  the  guns; 
that's  what  I  mean." 

"Oh,"  he  says. 

But  he  put  his  foot  on  the  gunnel  and  rocked  her, 
w  (355) 


356  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  shook  his  head,  and  said  he  reckoned  he'd  look 
around  for  a  bigger  one.  But  they  was  all  locked  and 
chained ;  so  he  took  my  canoe,  and  said  for  me  to  wait 
till  he  come  back,  or  I  could  hunt  around  further,  or 
maybe  I  better  go  down  home  and  get  them  ready  for 
the  surprise  if  I  wanted  to.  But  I  said  I  didn't;  so 
I  told  him  just  how  to  find  the  raft,  and  then  he  started. 

I  struck  an   idea  pretty  soon.     I   says  to    myself, 
spos'n  he  can't  fix  that  leg  just  in  three  shakes  of  a 
sheep's  tail,  as  the  saying  is?  spos'n  it  takes  him  three 
or  four  days  ?     What  are  we  going  to  do  ?• —  lay  around 
there  till  he  lets  the  cat  out  of  the  bag?     No,  sir;   I 
know  what  /'//  do.     I'll  wait,  and  when  he  comes  back 
if  he  says  he's  got  to  go  any  more  I'll  get  down  there, 
too,  if  I  swim;   and  we'll  take  and  tie  him,  and  keep 
him,  and  shove  out  down  the  river;   and  when  Tom's 
done  with  him  we'll  give  him  what  it's  worth,  or  all 
we  got,  and  then  let  him  get  ashore. 

So  then  I  crept  into  a  lumber-pile  to  get  some  sleep ; 
and  next  time  I  waked  up  the  sun  was  away  up  over 
my  head!  I  shot  out  and  went  for  the  doctor's 
house,  but  they  told  me  he'd  gone  away  in  the  night 
some  time  or  other,  and  warn'tback  yet.  Well,  thinks 
I,  that  looks  powerful  bad  for  Tom,  and  I'll  dig  out 
for  the  island  right  off.  So  away  I  shoved,  and  turned 
the  corner,  and  nearly  rammed  my  head  into  Uncle 
Silas's  stomach  !  He  says : 

"Why,  Tom!  Where  you  been  all  this  time,  you 
rascal  ?" 

II  /hain't  been  nowheres,"  I  says,  "  only  just  hunt 
ing  for  the  runaway  nigger  — me  and  Sid." 

"  Why,  where  ever  did  you  go?"  he  says.  "Your 
aunt's  been  mighty  uneasy." 

"  She  needn't,"  I  says,  "  because  we  was  all  right. 
We  followed  the  men  and  the  dogs,  but  they  outrun  us, 
and  we  lost  them ;  but  we  thought  we  heard  them  on 


Huckleberry  Finn  357 

the  water,  so  we  got  a  canoe  and  took  out  after  them 
and  crossed  over,  but  couldn't  find  nothing  of  them; 
so  we  cruised  along  up-shore  till  we  got  kind  of  tired 
and  beat  out;  and  tied  up  the  canoe  and  went  to  sleep, 
and  never  waked  up  till  about  an  hour  ago ;  then  we 
paddled  over  here  to  hear  the  news,  and  Sid's  at  the 
post-office  to  see  what  he  can  hear,  and  I'm  a-branch- 
ing  out  to  get  something  to  eat  for  us,  and  then  we're 
going  home." 

So  then  we  went  to  the  post-office  to  get  "  Sid  "  ;  but 
just  as  I  suspicioned,  he  warn't  there;  so  the  old  man 
he  got  a  letter  out  of  the  office,  and  we  waited  awhile 
longer,  but  Sid  didn't  come;  so  the  old  man  said, 
come  along,  let  Sid  foot  it  home,  or  canoe  it,  when  he 
got  done  fooling  around  —  but  we  would  ride.  I 
couldn't  get  him  to  let  me  stay  and  wait  for  Sid;  and 
he  said  there  warn't  no  use  in  it,  and  I  must  come 
along,  and  let  Aunt  Sally  see  we  was  all  right. 

When  we  got  home  Aunt  Sally  was  that  glad  to  see 
me  she  laughed  and  cried  both,  and  hugged  me,  and 
give  me  one  of  them  lickings  of  hern  that  don't  amount 
to  shucks,  and  said  she'd  serve  Sid  the  same  when  he 
come. 

And  the  place  was  plum  full  of  farmers  and  farmers' 
wives,  to  dinner;  and  such  another  clack  a  body  never 
heard.  Old  Mrs.  Hotchkiss  was  the  worst;  her  tongue 
was  a-going  all  the  time.  She  says : 

"Well,  Sister  Phelps,  I've  ransacked  that-air  cabin 
over,  an'  I  b'iieve  the  nigger  was  crazy.  I  says  to 
Sister  Damrell  —  didn't  I,  Sister  Damrell? — s'l,  he's 
crazy,  s'l  —  them's  the  very  words  I  said.  You  all 
hearn  me:  he's  crazy,  s'l;  everything  shows  it,  s'l. 
Look  at  that-air  grindstone,  s'l;  want  to  tell  me\  any 
cretur  't's  in  his  right  mind  's  a  goin'  to  scrabble  all 
them  crazy  things  onto  a  grindstone,  s'l  ?  Here  sich  'n' 
sich  a  person  busted  his  heart;  'n'  here  so  'n'  so 


358  Huckleberry  Finn 

pegged  along  for  thirty-seven  year,  'n'  all  that—' 
natcherl  son  o'  Louis  somebody,  'n'  sich  everlast'n 
rubbage.  He's  plumb  crazy,  sT;  it's  what  I  says  in 
the  fust  place,  it's  what  I  says  in  the  middle,  'n'  it's 
what  I  says  last  'n'  all  the  time  —  the  nigger's  crazy  — 
crazy  's  Nebokoodneezer,  s'l." 

"An'  look  at  that-air  ladder  made  out'n  rags,  Sister 
Hotchkiss,"  says  old  Mrs.  Damrell;  "what  in  the 
name  o'  goodness  could  he  ever  want  of — " 

"  The  very  words  I  was  a-sayin'  no  longer  ago  th'n 
this  minute  to  Sister  Utterback,  'n'  she'll  tell  you  so 
herself.  Sh-she,  look  at  that-air  rag  ladder,  sh-she; 
'n'  s'l,  yes,  look  at  it,  s'l  —  what  could  he  a-wanted 
of  it,  s'l.  Sh-she,  Sister  Hotchkiss,  sh-she — " 

"  But  how  in  the  nation 'd  they  ever^zV  that  grind 
stone  in  there,  anyway?  'n'  who  dug  that-air  hole?  'n' 
who—" 

"My  very  words,  Brer  Penrod !  I  was  a-sayin' — 
pass  that-air  sasser  o'  m' lasses,  won't  ye? — I  was 
a-sayin'  to  Sister  Dunlap,  jist  this  minute,  how  did  they 
git  that  grindstone  in  there,  s'l.  Without  help,  mind 
you — 'thout^<?^>/  Thars  wher  'tis.  Don't  teftme, 
s'l;  there  wuz  help,  s'l;  'n'  ther'  wuz  a  plenty  help, 
too,  s'l;  ther's  ben  a  dozen  a-helpin'  that  nigger,  'n'  I 
lay  I'd  skin  every  last  nigger  on  this  place  but  I'd  find 
out  who  done  it,  s'l;  'n'  moreover,  s'l — " 

"A  dozen  says  you! — forty  couldn't  a  done  every 
thing  that's  been  done.  Look  at  them  case-knife  saws 
and  things,  how  tedious  they've  been  made;  look  at 
that  bed-leg  sawed  off  with  'm,  a  week's  work  for  six 
men;  look  at  that  nigger  made  out'n  straw  on  the  bed ; 
and  look  at — " 

"  You  may  well  say  it,  Brer  Hightower  !  It's  jist  as 
I  was  a-sayin'  to  Brer  Phelps,  his  own  self.  S'e,  what 
do  you  think  of  it,  Sister  Hotchkiss,  s'e?  Think  o' 
what,  Brer  Phelps,  s'l?  Think  o'  that  bed-leg  sawed 


Huckleberry  Finn  359 

off  that  a  way,  s'e?  Think  of  it,  s'l?  I  lay  it  never 
sawed  itself  off,  s'l  —  somebody  sawed  it,  s'l;  that's 
my  opinion,  take  it  or  leave  it,  it  mayn't  be  no  'count, 
s'l,  but  sich  as  't  is,  it's  my  opinion,  s'l,  'n'  if  any 
body  k'n  start  a  better  one,  s'l,  let  him  do  it,  s'l, 
that's  all.  I  says  to  Sister  Dunlap,  s'l — " 

14  Why,  dog  my  cats,  they  must  a  ben  a  house-full  o' 
niggers  in  there  every  night  for  four  weeks  to  a  done 
all  that  work,  Sister  Phelps.  Look  at  that  shirt  — 
every  last  inch  of  it  kivered  over  with  secret  African 
writ'n  done  with  blood !  Must  a  ben  a  raft  uv  'm  at  it 
light  along,  all  the  time,  amost.  Why,  I'd  give  two 
dollars  to  have  it  read  to  me;  'n'  as  for  the  niggers 
that  wrote  it,  I  'low  I'd  take  'n'  lash  'm  t'll  —  " 

"People  to  help  him,  Brother  Marples !  Well,  I 
reckon  you'd  think  so  if  you'd  a  been  in  this  house  for 
a  while  back.  Why,  they've  stole  everything  they 
could  lay  their  hands  on  —  and  we  a-watching  all  the 
time,  mind  you.  They  stole  that  shirt  right  off  o'  the 
line  !  and  as  for  that  sheet  they  made  the  rag  ladder  out 
of,  ther'  ain't  no  telling  how  many  times  they  didn't 
steal  that;  and  flour,  and  candles,  and  candlesticks, 
and  spoons,  and  the  old  warming-pan,  and  most  a 
thousand  things  that  I  disremember  now,  and  my  new 
calico  dress ;  and  me  and  Silas  and  my  Sid  and  Tom 
on  the  constant  watch  day  and  night,  as  I  was  a-telling 
you,  and  not  a  one  of  us  could  catch  hide  nor  hair  nor 
sight  nor  sound  of  them;  and  here  at  the  last  minute, 
lo  and  behold  you,  they  slides  right  in  under  our  noses 
and  fools  us,  and  not  only  fools  us  but  the  Injun  Terri 
tory  robbers  too,  and  actuly  gets  away  with  that  nigger 
safe  and  sound,  and  that  with  sixteen  men  and  twenty- 
two  dogs  right  on  their  very  heels  at  that  very  time ! 
I  tell  you,  it  just  bangs  anything  I  ever  heard  of. 
Why,  sperits  couldn't  a  done  better  and  been  no 
smarter.  And  I  reckon  they  must  a  been  sperits  —  be- 


360  Huckleberry  Finn 

cause,  you  know  our  dogs,  and  ther'  ain't  no  better; 
well,  them  dogs  never  even  got  on  the  track  of  'm 
once  !  You  explain  that  to  me  if  you  can  ! —  any  of 
you!" 

"Well,  it  does  beat—" 

"  Laws  alive,  I  never — " 

"  So  help  me,  I  wouldn't  a  be— " 

41  House-thieves  as  well  as — " 

"  Goodnessgracioussakes,  I'd  a  ben  afeard  to  live  in 
sicha—  " 

"  'Fraid  to  live  ! — why,  I  was  that  scared  I  dasn't 
hardly  go  to  bed,  or  get  up,  or  lay  down,  or  set  down, 
Sister  Ridgeway.  Why,  they'd  steal  the  very  —  why, 
goodness  sakes,  you  can  guess  what  kind  of  a  fluster  1 
was  in  by  the  time  midnight  come  last  night.  I  hope 
to  gracious  if  I  warn't  afraid  they'd  steal  some  o'  the 
family  !  I  was  just  to  that  pass  I  didn't  have  no  reason 
ing  faculties  no  more.  It  looks  foolish  enough  now,  in 
the  daytime ;  but  I  says  to  myself,  there's  my  two  poor 
boys  asleep,  'way  up  stairs  in  that  lonesome  room,  and 
I  declare  to  goodness  I  was  that  uneasy  't  I  crep'  up 
there  and  locked  'em  in  !  I  did.  And  anybody  would. 
Because,  you  know,  when  you  get  scared  that  way, 
and  it  keeps  running  on,  and  getting  worse  and  worse 
all  the  time,  and  your  wits  gets  to  addling,  and  you  get 
to  doing  all  sorts  o'  wild  things,  and  by  and  by  you 
think  to  yourself,  spos'n  /  was  a  boy,,  and  was  away  up 
there,  and  the  door  ain't  locked,  and  you — "  She 
stopped,  looking  kind  of  wondering,  and  then  she 
turned  her  head  around  slow,  and  when  her  eye  lit  on 
me  —  I  got  up  and  took  a  walk. 

Says  I  to  myself,  I  can  explain  better  how  we  come 
to  not  be  in  that  room  this  morning  if  I  go  out  to  one 
side  and  study  over  it  a  little.  So  I  done  it.  But  I 
dasn't  go  fur,  or  she'd  a  sent  for  me.  And  when  it 
was  late  in  the  day  the  people  all  went,  and  then  I 


Huckleberry  Finn  36! 

come  in  and  told  her  the  noise  and  shooting  waked  up 
me  and  "  Sid,"  and  the  door  was  locked,  and  we 
wanted  to  see  the  fun,  so  we  went  down  the  lightning- 
rod,  and  both  of  us  got  hurt  a  little,  and  we  didn't  never 
want  to  try  that  no  more.  And  then  I  went  on  and 
told  her  all  what  I  told  Uncle  Silas  before;  and  then 
she  said  she'd  forgive  us,  and  maybe  it  was  all  right 
enough  anyway,  and  about  what  a  body  might  expect 
of  boys,  for  all  boys  was  a  pretty  harum-scarum  lot  as 
fur  as  she  could  see ;  and  so,  as  long  as  no  harm  hadn't 
come  of  it,  she  judged  she  better  put  in  her  time  being 
grateful  we  was  alive  and  well  and  she  had  us  still,  stead 
of  fretting  over  what  was  past  and  done.  So  then  she 
kissed  me,  and  patted  me  on  the  head,  and  dropped 
into  a  kind  of  a  brown  study ;  and  pretty  soon  jumps 
up,  and  says: 

4 'Why,  lawsamercy,  it's  most  night,  and  Sid  not 
come  yet!  What  has  become  of  that  boy?" 

I  see  my  chance ;   so  I  skips  up  and  says : 

"I'll  run  right  up  to  town  and  get  him,"  I  says. 

"No  you  won't,"  she  says.  "You'll  stay  right 
wher'  you  are;  ones  enough  to  be  lost  at  a  time.  If 
he  ain't  here  to  supper,  your  uncle  '11  go." 

Well,  he  warn't  there  to  supper;  so  right  after 
supper  uncle  went. 

He  come  back  about  ten  a  little  bit  uneasy;  hadn't 
run  across  Tom's  track.  Aunt  Sally  was  a  good  deal 
uneasy;  but  Uncle  Silas  he  said  there  warn't  no  occa 
sion  to  be  —  boys  will  be  boys,  he  said,  and  you'll  see 
this  one  turn  up  in  the  morning  all  sound  and  right. 
So  she  had  to  be  satisfied.  But  she  said  she'd  set  up 
for  him  a  while  anyway,  and  keep  a  light  burning  so  he 
could  see  it. 

And  then  when  I  went  up  to  bed  she  come  up  with 
me  and  fetched  her  candle,  and  tucked  me  in,  and 
mothered  me  so  good  I  felt  mean,  and  like  I  couldn't 


362  Huckleberry  Finn 

look  her  in  the  face ;  and  she  set  down  on  the  bed  and 
talked  with  me  a  long  time,  and  said  what  a  splendid 
boy  Sid  was,  and  didn't  seem  to  want  to  ever  stop 
talking  about  him ;  and  kept  asking  me  every  now  and 
then  if  I  reckoned  he  could  a  got  lost,  or  hurt,  or 
maybe  drownded,  and  might  be  laying  at  this  minute 
somewheres  suffering  or  dead,  and  she  not  by  him  to 
help  him,  and  so  the  tears  would  drip  down  silent,  and 
I  would  tell  her  that  Sid  was  all  right,  and  would  be 
home  in  the  morning,  sure ;  and  she  would  squeeze  my 
hand,  or  maybe  kiss  me,  and  tell  me  to  say  it  again, 
and  keep  on  saying  it,  because  it  done  her  good,  and 
she  was  in  so  much  trouble.  And  when  she  was  going 
away  she  looked  down  in  my  eyes  so  steady  and  gentle, 
and  says: 

"The  door  ain't  going  to  be  locked,  Tom,  and 
there's  the  window  and  the  rod ;  but  you'll  be  good, 
wont  you?  And  you  won't  go?  For  my  sake." 

Laws  knows  I  wanted  to  go  bad  enough  to  see  about 
Tom,  and  was  all  intending  to  go;  but  after  that  I 
wouldn't  a  went,  not  for  kingdoms. 

But  she  was  on  my  mind  and  Tom  was  on  my  mind, 
so  I  slept  very  restless.  And  twice  I  went  down  the 
rod  away  in  the  night,  and  slipped  around  front,  and 
see  her  setting  there  by  her  candle  in  the  window  with 
her  eyes  towards  the  road  and  the  tears  in  them ;  and 
I  wished  I  could  do  something  for  her,  but  I  couldn't, 
only  to  swear  that  I  wouldn't  never  do  nothing  to 
grieve  her  any  more.  And  the  third  time  I  waked  up 
at  dawn,  and  slid  down,  and  she  was  there  yet,  and 
her  candle  was  most  out,  and  her  old  gray  head  was 
resting  on  her  hand,  and  she  was  asleep. 


•     CHAPTER   XLII. 

THE  old  man  was  uptown  again  before  breakfast,  but 
couldn't  get  no  track  of  Tom;  and  both  of  them 
set  at  the  table  thinking,  and  not  saying  nothing,  and 
looking  mournful,  and  their  coffee  getting  cold,  and 
not  eating  anything.  And  by  and  by  the  old  man 
says: 

"  Did  I  give  you  the  letter?" 

"What  letter?" 
*  The  one  I  got  yesterday  out  of  the  post-office." 

"  No,  you  didn't  give  me  no  letter." 

"  Well,  I  must  a  forgot  it." 

So  he  rummaged  his  pockets,  and  then  went  off  some- 
wheres  where  he  had  laid  it  down,  and  fetched  it,  and 
give  it  to  her.  She  says : 

"Why,  it's  from  St.  Petersburg— it's  from  Sis." 

I  allowed  another  walk  would  do  me  good ;  but  I 
couldn't  stir.  But  before  she  could  break  it  open  she 
dropped  it  and  run  —  for  she  see  something.  And  so 
did  I.  It  was  Tom  Sawyer  on  a  mattress;  and  that  old 
doctor;  and  Jim,  in  her  calico  dress,  with  his  hands 
tied  behind  him;  and  a  lot  of  people.  I  hid  the  letter 
behind  the  first  thing  that  come  handy,  and  rushed. 
She  flung  herself  at  Tom,  crying,  and  says: 

"  Oh,  he's  dead,  he's  dead,  I  know  he's  dead !" 

And  Tom  he  turned  his  head  a  little,  and  muttered 
something  or  other,  which  showed  he  warn't  in  his 
right  mind ;  then  she  flung  up  her  hands,  and  says : 

"He's    alive,    thank  God!     And   that's    enough!" 

(363) 


364  Huckleberry  Finn 

and  she  snatched  a  kiss  of  him,  and  flew  for  the  house 
to  get  the  bed  ready,  and  scattering  orders  right  and  left 
at  the  niggers  and  everybody  else,  as  fast  as  her  tongue 
could  go,  every  jump  of  the  way. 

I  followed  the  men  to  see  what  they  was  going  to  do 
with  Jim ;  and  the  old  doctor  and  Uncle  Silas  followed 
after  Tom  into  the  house.  The  men  was  very  huffy, 
and  some  of  them  wanted  to  hang  Jim  for  an  example 
to  all  the  other  niggers  around  there,  so  they  wouldn't 
be  trying  to  run  away  like  Jim  done,  and  making  such 
a  raft  of  trouble,  and  keeping  a  whole  family  scared 
most  to  death  for  days  and  nights.  But  the  others  said, 
don't  do  it,  it  wouldn't  answer  at  all;  he  ain't  our 
nigger,  and  his  owner  would  turn  up  and  make  us  pay 
for  him,  sure.  So  that  cooled  them  down  a  little,  be 
cause  the  people  that's  always  the  most  anxious  for  to 
hang  a  nigger  that  hain't  done  just  right  is  always  the 
very  ones  that  ain't  the  most  anxious  to  pay  for  him 
when  they've  got  their  satisfaction  out  of  him. 

They  cussed  Jim  considerble,  though,  and  give  him 
a  cuff  or  two  side  the  head  once  in  a  while,  but  Jim 
never  said  nothing,  and  he  never  let  on  to  know  me, 
and  they  took  him  to  the  same  cabin,  and  put  his  own 
clothes  on  him,  and  chained  him  again,  and  not  to  no 
bed-leg  this  time,  but  to  a  big  staple  drove  into  the  bot 
tom  log,  and  chained  his  hands,  too,  and  both  legs,  and 
said  he  warn't  to  have  nothing  but  bread  and  water  to 
eat  after  this  till  his  owner  come,  or  he  was  sold  at  auc 
tion  because  he  didn't  come  in  a  certain  length  of  time, 
and  filled  up  our  hole,  and  said  a  couple  of  farmers 
with  guns  must  stand  watch  around  about  the  cabin 
every  night,  and  a  bulldog  tied  to  the  door  in  the  day 
time  ;  and  about  this  time  they  was  through  with  the 
job  and  was  tapering  off  with  a  kind  of  generl  good-bye 
cussing,  and  then  the  old  doctor  comes  and  takes  a 
look,  and  says:  ,  , 


Huckleberry  Finn  365 

41  Don't  be  no  rougher  on  him  than  you're  obleeged 
to,  because  he  ain't  a  bad  nigger.  When  I  got  to 
where  I  found  the  boy  I  see  I  couldn't  cut  the  bullet 
out  without  some  help,  and  he  warn't  in  no  condition 
for  me  to  leave  to  go  and  get  help ;  and  he  got  a  little 
worse  and  a  little  worse,  and  after  a  long  time  he  went 
out  of  his  head,  and  wouldn't  let  me  come  a-nigh  him 
any  more,  and  said  if  I  chalked  his  raft  he'd  kill  me, 
and  no  end  of  wild  foolishness  like  that,  and  I  see  I 
couldn't  do  anything  at  all  with  him;  so  I  says,  I  got 
to  have  help  somehow;  and  the  minute  I  says  it  out 
crawls  this  nigger  from  somewheres  and  says  he'll  help, 
and  he  done  it,  too,  and  done  it  very  well.  Of  course 
I  judged  he  must  be  a  runaway  nigger,  and  there  I  was  ! 
and  there  I  had  to  stick  right  straight  along  all  the  rest 
of  the  day  and  all  night.  It  was  a  fix,  I  tell  you  !  I 
had  a  couple  of  patients  with  the  chills,  and  of  course 
I'd  of  liked  to  run  up  to  town  and  see  them,  but  I 
dasn't,  because  the  nigger  might  get  away,  and  then  I'd 
be  to  blame ;  and  yet  never  a  skiff  come  close  enough 
for  me  to  hail.  So  there  I  had  to  stick  plumb  until 
daylight  this  morning ;  and  I  never  see  a  nigger  that 
was  a  better  nuss  or  faithfuller,  and  yet  he  was  risking 
his  freedom  to  do  it,  and  was  all  tired  out,  too,  and  I 
see  plain  enough  he'd  been  worked  main  hard  lately. 
I  liked  the  nigger  for  that;  I  tell  you,  gentlemen,  a 
nigger  like  that  is  worth  a  thousand  dollars  —  and  kind 
treatment,  too.  I  had  everything  I  needed,  and  the 
boy  was  doing  as  well  there  as  he  would  a  done  at 
home — better,  maybe,  because  it  was  so  quiet;  but 
there  I  was,  with  both  of  'm  on  my  hands,  and  there 
I  had  to  stick  till  about  dawn  this  morning ;  then  some 
men  in  a  skiff  come  by,  and  as  good  luck  would  have 
it  the  nigger  was  setting  by  the  pallet  with  his  head 
propped  on  his  knees  sound  asleep ;  so  I  motioned 
them  in  quiet,  and  they  slipped  up  on  him  and  grabbed 


366  Huckleberry  Finn 

him  and  tied  him  before  he  knowed  what  he  was 
about,  and  we  never  had  no  trouble.  And  the  boy 
being  in  a  kind  of  a  flighty  sleep,  too,  we  muffled  the 
oars  and  hitched  the  raft  on,  and  towed  her  over  very 
nice  and  quiet,  and  the  nigger  never  made  the  least 
row  nor  said  a  word  from  the  start.  He  ain't  no  bad 
nigger,  gentlemen;  that's  what  I  think  about  him." 

Somebody  says : 

!*  Well,  it  sounds  very  good,  doctor,  I'm  obleeged  to 
say." 

Then  the  others  softened  up  a  little,  too,  and  I  was 
mighty  thankful  to  that  old  doctor  for  doing  Jim  that 
good  turn  ;  and  I  was  glad  it  was  according  to  my  judg 
ment  of  him,  too;  because  I  thought  he  had  a  good 
heart  in  him  and  was  a  good  man  the  first  time  I  see 
him.  Then  they  all  agreed  that  Jim  had  acted  very 
well,  and  was  deserving  to  have  some  notice  took  of 
it,  and  reward.  So  every  one  of  them  promised,  right 
out  and  hearty,  that  they  wouldn't  cuss  him  no  more. 

Then  they  come  out  and  locked  him  up.  I  hoped 
they  was  going  to  say  he  could  have  one  or  two  of  the 
chains  took  off,  because  they  was  rotten  heavy,  or  could 
have  meat  and  greens  with  his  bread  and  water;  but 
they  didn't  think  of  it,  and  I  reckoned  it  warn't  best 
for  me  to  mix  in,  but  I  judged  I'd  get  the  doctor's  yarn 
to  Aunt  Sally  somehow  or  other  as  soon  as  I'd  got 
through  the  breakers  that  was  laying  just  ahead  of  me  — 
explanations,  I  mean,  of  how  I  forgot  to  mention  about 
Sid  being  shot  when  I  was  telling  how  him  and  me  put 
in  that  dratted  night  paddling  around  hunting  the  run 
away  nigger. 

But  I  had  plenty  time.  Aunt  Sally  she  stuck  to  the 
sick-room  all  day  and  all  night,  and  every  time  I  see 
Uncle  Silas  mooning  around  I  dodged  him. 

Next  morning  I  heard  Tom  was  a  good  deal  better, 
and  they  said  Aunt  Sally  was  gone  to  get  a  nap.  So 


Huckleberry  Finn  367 

I  slips  to  the  sick-room,  and  if  I  found  him  awake  I 
reckoned  we  could  put  up  a  yarn  for  the  family  that 
woulcl  wash.  But  he  was  sleeping,  and  sleeping  very 
peaceful,  too;  and  pale,  not  fire-faced  the  way  he  was 
when  he  come.  So  I  set  down  and  laid  for  him  to 
wake.  In  about  half  an  hour  Aunt  Sally  comes  gliding 
in,  and  there  I  was,  up  a  stump  again!  She  motioned 
me  to  be  still,  and  set  down  by  me,  and  begun  to 
whisper,  and  said  we  could  all  be  joyful  now,  because 
all  the  symptoms  was  first-rate,  and  he'd  been  sleeping 
like  that  for  ever  so  long,  and  looking  better  and  peace- 
fuller  all  the  time,  and  ten  to  one  he'd  wake  up  in  his 
right  mind. 

So  we  set  there  watching,  and  by  and  by  he  stirs  a 
bit,  and  opened  his  eyes  very  natural,  and  takes  a  look, 
and  says : 

"  Hello! — why,  I'm  at  home!  How's  that? 
Where's  the  raft?" 

"  It's  all  right,"  I  says. 

"Andjtmf" 

"The  same,"  I  says,  but  couldn't  say  it  pretty 
brash.  But  he  never  noticed,  but  says: 

"  Good  !  Splendid  !  Now  we're  all  right  and  safe  ! 
Did  you  tell  Aunty?" 

I  was  going  to  say  yes ;  but  she  chipped  in  and  says : 

44  About  what,  Sid?" 

"Why,  about  the  way  the  whole  thing  was  done." 

14  What  whole  thing?" 

"  Why,  the  whole  thing.  There  ain't  but  one;  how 
we  set  the  runaway  nigger  free  —  me  and  Tom." 

"Good  land!  Set  the  run —  What  is  the  child 
talking  about !  Dear,  dear,  out  of  his  head  again  !" 

"  No,  I  ain't  out  of  my  HEAD;  I  know  all  what  I'm 
talking  about.  We  did  set  him  free  —  me  and  Tom. 
We  laid  out  to  do  it,  and  we  done  it.  And  we  done 
it  elegant,  too."  He'd  got  a  start,  and  she  never 


368  Huckleberry  Finn 

checked  him  up,  just  set  and  stared  and  stared,  and  let 
him  clip  along,  and  I  see  it  warn't  no  use  for  me  to  put 
in.  "Why,  Aunty,  it  cost  us  a  power  of  work  — 
weeks  of  it  —  hours  and  hours,  every  night,  whilst  you 
was  all  asleep.  And  we  had  to  steal  candles,  and  the 
sheet,  and  the  shirt,  and  your  dress,  and  spoons,  and 
tin  plates,  and  case-knives,  and  the  warming-pan,  and 
the  grindstone,  and  flour,  and  just  no  end  of  things,  and 
you  can't  think  what  work  it  was  to  make  the  saws,  and 
pens,  and  inscriptions,  and  one  thing  or  another,  and 
you  can't  think  half  the  fun  it  was.  And  we  had  to 
make  up  the  pictures  of  coffins  and  things,  and  non- 
namous  letters  from  the  robbers,  and  get  up  and  down 
the  lightning-rod,  and  dig  the  hole  into  the  cabin,  and 
made  the  rope  ladder  and  send  it  in  cooked  up  in  a  pie, 
and  send  in  spoons  and  things  to  work  with  in  your 
apron  pocket — " 

"Mercy  sakes!" 

' ' —  and  load  up  the  cabin  with  rats  and  snakes  and 
so  on,  for  company  for  Jim ;  and  then  you  kept  Tom 
here  so  long  with  the  butter  in  his  hat  that  you  come 
near  spiling  the  whole  business,  because  the  men  come 
before  we  was  out  of  the  cabin,  and  we  had  to  rush, 
and  they  heard  us  and  let  drive  at  us,  and  I  got  my 
share,  and  we  dodged  out  of  the  path  and  let  them  go 
by,  and  when  the  dogs  come  they  warn't  interested  in 
us,  but  went  for  the  most  noise,  and  \ye  got  our  canoe, 
and  made  for  the  raft,  and  was  all  safe,  and  Jim  was 
a  free  man,  and  we  done  it  all  by  ourselves,  and  wasn't 
it  bully,  Aunty!" 

"  Well,  I  never  heard  the  likes  of  it  in  all  my  born 
days  !  So  it  was  yon,  you  little  rapscallions,  that's  been 
making  all  this  trouble,  and  turned  everybody's  wits 
clean  inside  out  and  scared  us  all  most  to  death.  I've  as 
good  a  notion  as  ever  I  had  in  my  life  to  take  it  out  o' 
you  this  very  minute.  To  think,  here  I've  been,  night 


Huckleberry  Finn  369 

after  night,  a — you  just  get  well  once,  you  young 
scamp,  and  I  lay  I'll  tan  the  Old  Harry  out  o'  both  o' 
ye!" 

But  Tom,  he  was  so  proud  and  joyful,  he  just  couldn't 
hold  in,  and  his  tongue  just  went  it  —  she  a-chipping 
in,  and  spitting  fire  all  along,  and  both  of  them  going 
it  at  once,  like  a  cat  convention ;  and  she  says : 

'  Well,  you  get  all  the  enjoyment  you  can  out  of  it 
now ,  for  mind  I  tell  you  if  I  catch  you  meddling  with 
him  again — " 

"Meddling  with  who?"  Tom  says,  dropping  his 
smile  and  looking  surprised. 

1 '  With  who  f  Why,  the  runaway  nigger,  of  course. 
Who'd  you  reckon?" 

Tom  looks  at  me  very  grave,  and  says: 
*  Tom,  didn't  you  just  tell  me  he  was  all  right? 
Hasn't  he  got  away?" 

"Him?"  says  Aunt  Sally;  "the  runaway  nigger? 
'  Deed  he  hasn't.  They've  got  him  back,  safe  and 
sound,  and  he's  in  that  cabin  again,  on  bread  and 
water,  and  loaded  down  with  chains,  till  he's  claimed 
or  sold!" 

Tom  rose  square  up  in  bed,  with  his  eye  hot,  and 
his  nostrils  opening  and  shutting  like  gills,  and  sings 
out  to  me : 

"  They  hain't  no  right  to  shut  him  up  !  Shove  !  — 
and  don't  you  lose  a  minute.  Turn  him  loose!  he 
ain't  no  slave;  he's  as  free  as  any  cretur  that  walks 
this  earth!" 

41  What  does  the  child  mean?" 

41  I  mean  every  word  I  say,  Aunt  Sally,  and  if  some 
body  don't  go,  /'//  go.  I've  knowed  him  all  his  life, 
and  so  has  Tom,  there.  Old  Miss  Watson  died  two 
months  ago,  and  she  was  ashamed  she  ever  was  going 
to  sell  him  down  the  river,  and  said  so ;  and  she  set 
him  free  in  her  will." 
24 


370  Huckleberry  Finn 

"Then  what  on  earth  did  you  want  to  set  him  free 
for,  seeing  he  was  already  free?" 

11  Well,  that  is  a  question,  I  must  say  ;  and  just  like 
women!  Why,  I  wanted  the  adventure  of  it;  and  I'd 
a  waded  neck-deep  in  blood  to  —  goodness  alive,  AUNT 
POLLY!" 

If  she  warn't  standing  right  there,  just  inside  the 
door,  looking  as  sweet  and  contented  as  an  angel  half 
full  of  pie,  I  wish  I  may  never ! 

Aunt  Sally  jumped  for  her,  and  most  hugged  the 
head  off  of  her,  and  cried  over  her,  and  I  found  a 
good  enough  place  for  me  under  the  bed,  for  it  was 
getting  pretty  sultry  for  us,  seemed  to  me.  And  I 
peeped  out,  and  in  a  little  while  Tom's  Aunt  Polly 
shook  herself  loose  and  stood  there  looking  across  at 
Tom  over  her  spectacles  —  kind  of  grinding  him  into 
the  earth,  you  know.  And  then  she  says: 

1  Yes,  you  better  turn  y'r  head  away  —  I  would  if  I 
was  you,  Tom." 

"  Oh,  deary  me  !"  says  Aunt  Sally;  "  is  he  changed 
so?  Why,  that  ain't  Tom,  it's  Sid;  Tom's  — Tom's 
—  why,  where  is  Tom?  He  was  here  a  minute  ago." 
*  You  mean  where's  Huck  Finn  —  that's  what  you 
mean!  I  reckon  I  hain't  raised  such  a  scamp  as  my 
Tom  all  these  years  not  to  know  him  when  I  see  him. 
That  would  be  a  pretty  howdy-do.  Come  out  from 
under  that  bed,  Huck  Finn." 

So  I  done  it.     But  not  feeling  brash. 

Aunt  Sally  she  was  one  of  the  mixed-upest-looking 
persons  I  ever  see  —  except  one,  and  that  was  Uncle 
Silas,  when  he  come  in  and  they  told  it  all  to  him.  It 
kind  of  made  him  drunk,  as  you  may  say,  and  he 
didn't  know  nothing  at  all  the  rest  of  the  day,  and 
preached  a  prayer-meeting  sermon  that  night  that  gave 
him  a  rattling  ruputation,  because  the  oldest  man  in 
the  world  couldn't  a  understood  it.  So  Tom's  Aunt 


Huckleberry  Finn  371 

Polly,  she  told  all  about  who  I  was,  and  what;  and  I 
had  to  up  and  tell  how  I  was  in  such  a  tight  place  that 
when  Mrs.  Phelps  took  me  for  Tom  Sawyer  —  she 
chipped  in  and  says,  "  Oh,  go  on  and  call  me  Aunt 
Sally,  I'm  used  to  it  now,  and  'tain't  no  need  to 
change" — that  when  Aunt  Sally  took  me  for  Tom 
Sawyer  I  had  to  stand  it — there  warn't  no  other  way, 
and  I  knowed  he  wouldn't  mind,  because  it  would  be 
nuts  for  him,  being  a  mystery,  and  he'd  make  an  ad 
venture  out  of  it,  and  be  perfectly  satisfied.  And  so 
it  turned  out,  and  he  let  on  to  be  Sid,  and  made  things 
as  soft  as  he  could  for  me. 

And  his  Aunt  Polly  she  said  Tom  was  right  about 
old  Miss  Watson  setting  Jim  free  in  her  will;  and  so, 
sure  enough,  Tom  Sawyer  had  gone  and  took  all  that 
trouble  and  bother  to  set  a  free  nigger  free !  and  I 
couldn't  ever  understand  before,  until  that  minute  and 
that  talk,  how  he  could  help  a  body  set  a  nigger  free 
with  his  bringing-up. 

Well,  Aunt  Polly  she  said  that  when  Aunt  Sally 
wrote  to  her  that  Tom  and  Sid  had  come  all  right  and 
safe,  she  says  to  herself: 

'  *  Look  at  that,  now !  I  might  have  expected  it, 
letting  him  go  off  that  way  without  anybody  to  watch 
him.  So  now  I  got  to  go  and  trapse  all  the  way  down 
the  river,  eleven  hundred  mile,  and  find  out  what  that 
creetur's  up  to  this  time,  as  long  as  I  couldn't  seem  to 
get  any  answer  out  of  you  about  it." 

14  Why,  I  never  heard  nothing  from  you,"  says 
Aunt  Sally. 

"Well,  I  wonder!  Why,  I  wrote  you  twice  to  ask 
you  what  you  could  mean  by  Sid  being  here." 

"Well,  I  never  got  'em,  Sis." 

Aunt  Polly  she  turns  around  slow  and  severe,  and 
says: 

4 'You,  Tom!1' 


372  Huckleberry  Finn 

"  Well  —  what?"  he  says,  kind  of  pettish. 

"  Don't  you  what  me,  you  impudent  thing  —  hand 
out  them  letters/' 

"What  letters?" 

"  Them  letters.  I  be  bound,  if  I  have  to  take  a- 
holtof  you  I'll— " 

"  They're  in  the  trunk.  There,  now.  And  they're 
just  the  same  as  they  was  when  I  got  them  out  of  the 
office.  I  hain't  looked  into  them,  I  hain't  touched 
them.  But  I  knowed  they'd  make  trouble,  and  I 
thought  if  you  warn't  in  no  hurry,  I'd — " 

"  Well,  you  do  need  skinning,  there  ain't  no  mistake 
about  it.  And  I  wrote  another  one  to  tell  you  I  was 
coming;  and  I  s'pose  he — " 

"  No,  it  come  yesterday;  I  hain't  read  it  yet,  but 
its  all  right,  I've  got  that  one." 

I  wanted  to  offer  to  bet  two  dollars  she  hadn't,  but  I 
reckoned  maybe  it  was  just  as  safe  to  not  to.  So  I 
never  said  nothing. 


CHAPTER  THE  LAST 

THE  first  time  I  catched  Tom  private  I  asked  him 
what  was  his  idea,  time  of  the  evasion?  —  what  it 
was  he'd  planned  to  do  if  the  evasion  worked  all  right 
and  he  managed  to  set  a  nigger  free  that  was  already 
free  before?  And  he  said,  what  he  had  planned  in  his 
head  from  the  start,  if  we  got  Jim  out  all  safe,  was  for 
us  to  run  him  down  the  river  on  the  raft,  and  have 
adventures  plumb  to  the  mouth  of  the  river,  and  then 
tell  him  about  his  being  free,  and  take  him  back  up 
home  on  a  steamboat,  in  style,  and  pay  him  for  his 
lost  time,  and  write  word  ahead  and  get  out  all  the 
niggers  around,  and  have  them  waltz  him  into  town 
with  a  torchlight  procession  and  a  brass-band,  and  then 
he  would  be  a  hero,  and  so  would  we.  But  I  reckoned 
it  was  about  as  well  the  way  it  was. 

We  had  Jim  out  of  the  chains  in  no  time,  and  when 
Aunt  Polly  and  Uncle  Silas  and  Aunt  Sally  found  out 
how  good  he  helped  the  doctor  nurse  Tom,  they  made 
a  heap  of  fuss  over  him,  and  fixed  him  up  prime,  and 
give  him  all  he  wanted  to  eat,  and  a  good  time,  and 
nothing  to  do.  And  we  had  him  up  to  the  sick-room, 
and  had  a  high  talk ;  and  Tom  give  Jim  forty  dollars 
for  being  prisoner  for  us  so  patient,  and  doing  it  up  so 
good,  and  Jim  was  pleased  most  to  death,  and  busted 
out,  and  says: 

"Dak,  now,  Huck,  what  I  tell  you?  —  what  I  tell 
you  up  dah  on  Jackson  islan'  ?  I  tole  you  I  got  a 

(373) 


374  Huckleberry  Finn 

hairy  breas',  en  what's  de  sign  un  it;  en  I  tole  you  I 
ben  rich  wunst,  en  gwineter  to  be  r\c\\.  agin ;  en  it's 
come  true;  en  heah  she  is!  Dahy  now!  doan'  talk 
to  me — signs  is  signs,  mine  I  tell  you;  en  I  knowed 
jis'  's  well  'at  I  'uz  gwineter  be  rich  agin  as  I's  a- 
stannin'  heah  dis  minute!" 

And  then  Tom  he  talked  along  and  talked  along, 
and  says,  le's  all  three  slide  out  of  here  one  of  these 
nights  and  get  an  outfit,  and  go  for  howling  adventures 
amongst  the  Injuns,  over  in  the  Territory,  for  a  couple 
of  weeks  or  two ;  and  I  says,  all  right,  that  suits  me, 
but  I  ain't  got  no  money  for  to  buy  the  outfit,  and  I 
reckon  I  couldn't  get  none  from  home,  because  it's 
likely  pap's  been  back  before  now,  and  got  it  all  away 
from  Judge  Thatcher  and  drunk  it  up. 

"No,  he  hain't,"  Tom  says;  "  it's  all  there  yet  — 
six  thousand  dollars  and  more;  and  your  pap  hain't 
ever  been  back  since.  Hadn't  when  I  come  away, 
anyhow. ' ' 

Jim  says,  kind  of  solemn : 

"  He  ain't  a-comin'  back  no  mo',  Huck." 

I  says: 

''Why,  Jim?" 

*4  Nemmine  why,  Huck — but  he  ain't  comin'  back 
no  mo'." 

But  I  kept  at  him ;   so  at  last  he  says : 

"  Doan'  you  'member  de  house  dat  was  float' n  down 

de   river,  en  dey  wuz  a  man  in  dah,  kivered  up,  en  I 

went  in  en  unkivered  him  and  didn'  let  you  come  in? 

Well,  den,  you  kin  git  yo'  money  when  you  wants  it, 

_kase  dat  wuz  him." 

Tom's  most  well  now,  and  got  his  bullet  around  his 
neck  on  a  watch-guard  for  a  watch,  and  is  always 
seeing  what  time  it  is,  and  so  there  ain't  nothing  more 
to  write  about,  and  I  am  rotten  glad  of  it,  because  if 
I'd  a  knowed  what  a  trouble  it  was  to  make  a  book  I 


Huckleberry  Finn  375 

wouldn't  a  tackled  it,  and  ain't  a-going  to  no  more. 
But  I  reckon  I  got  to  light  out  for  the  Territory  ahead 
of  the  rest,  because  Aunt  Sally  she's  going  to  adopt 
me  and  sivilize  me,  and  I  can't  stand  it.  I  been  there 
before. 


THE  END 


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